Mass Effect: Raven
by R3dRaven
Summary: I didn't know how I ended up on the Citadel. What I did know, was that my chances of survival were higher if I could find refuge aboard the NORMANDY. So I took a gamble, and joined the hunt for Saren. Unfortunately, real life is not as easy as a game - but still, I wouldn't have missed it for anything. / Mass Effect 1, Self-Insertion, logic/realistic approach, close to canon.
1. Prologue: ad astra

"_**On a cosmic scale, a human life only lasts for a millisecond, and even Humanity's whole existence is nothing more than the blink of an eye. From this point of view, it is not surprising that the events in our universe seem chaotic and futile to the human observer. With their limited senses, which only allow them to see a splinter of reality, Humanity seeks insight to the cosmos. This powerless and maybe even because of this so admirable effort is called 'science and research'.  
Trapped on his little planet which he threatens to destroy in his conflict between emotion and reason, the human struggles for **__**understanding…**__**. which only leads to new, and even bigger mysteries.**_

_**This zealous search for the very last answers let the humans feel that their world is only part of an unimaginable universal order, where powers and forms of life exist that play a central role in it. **_

_**Let us imagine, that, under circumstances **__**that our narrowed minds cannot yet describe,**__** Humanity would get into the wake of cosmic events.**_

_**A new era of human history would begin … the **__**era**__** of Mankind in the future."**_

_\- Opening words of "Perry Rhodan: Unternehmen STARDUST" by K.H. Scheer. First published in 1961, Perry Rhodan is the largest and longest running sci-fi dime novel / pulp magazine series in the world, with a new chapter being released every week for over fifty-five years. _

* * *

**Prologue: ad astra **

**I** stood on a hill in the dead of night and looked down on the city lights.

That may not sound like something of interest, but if you knew the meaning of the hill and the importance of the city, you maybe would reconsider.

I had left the estate roughly ten minutes ago, fed up with a lot of people and their pompous idiocy. How they spoke of the war… as if they had contributed to it in any way, and done their part. None of them had stood in the frontline. None of them had done things that mattered. Yet here they were, hoping to claim a part of the glory. Like goddamned vultures.

Yet when I closed my eyes and inhaled the air, my anger had long cooled, replaced by calmness with a hinge of sadness. The air still had a stench to it. Something iron, reminding me of blood spilled and machines at war. I pulled a cigarette from my suit's pouch and lit it up, feeling oddly calm.

I knew that I was now ready.

I rose up my left arm and activated my tool. The orange light illuminated the ground around me, yet faded against the city. I typed a few holographic keys, then lowered my arms and looked out again.

"_Ready for recording."_

The tool's synthetic VI voice, although programmed to be softly female, formed a sharp contrast to the near-silence around me. I was not used to quietness anymore, even though it had once offered some sort of treacherous comfort.

A small impulse in my cheek - the microphone implant signaled its readiness as well.

Seconds became minutes as all the memories I had held back came crushing in my mind. I let myself get washed away for a moment, then sorted the flood into the correct order. Faces. Places. Plans, combat and blood. Ashes and corpses. Total victory and utter defeat. Hatred, sadness, joy, and love.

It challenged my willpower to resist this storm, but I had gone used to it as time passed.

The time to remember, to relive, had come.

When I was done, I threw the cigarette stub to the ground, stared up into the starlit sky and remembered the time when I was a boy on Earth, looking up in wonder and awe at the possibility that somewhere out there, there might be other people that were looking into their skies as well.

As I should learn, the galaxy was vast and sometimes cruel… But full of wonders and beauty.

I let my thoughts circle around my mind. When the storm finally settled, I began to speak.

"Tell me…"

* * *

_Tell me – you have heard this story before, have you not?_

_A young man or woman suddenly and without any at least partially logical explanation finds him- or herself in a foreign, yet familiar alternative universe._

_Familiar, because supposedly fictional._

_They interact with people they thought to be product of some creative writer's mind, use tools or items that are supposed to be scientifically impossible. Using magic or laser rifles to take on enemies they should not encounter, riding on dragons or in a starship, breathing underwater or the atmosphere of foreign worlds._

_And of course, one way or another, leaving their mark in that respective universe's book of history._

_I must admit, I never considered these stories to be more than a writer's daydream of glory, of breaking out of their regular lives. Who am I to judge?_

_The worst ones shape their alter ego to be the ultimate badass, maybe even taking over the 'hero' role from the stories 'regular protagonist'. We know that type of writing as 'Mary' or 'Gary Sue.'_

_The best ones consider themselves, their standing in a potentially existing alternative universe. They play around with the foundations, try their best to calculate the inner workings of their chosen world._

_A work you have to admire, because these people not only open up the gate, but dare to take a few steps through it - even if they can never truly cross the threshold._

_And yet, I would have never considered these stories to be more than mere fantasy. Something people write to express themselves, or to entertain their audience._

_I was wrong._

_Years after the events that shook up the galaxy of Mass Effect, I finally think that it is appropriate to contribute my own experience to the myriads of stories that our society has to tell the coming generations. How we made a stand against all odds. What it cost to secure our children their future._

_How we paid the price with the blood of billions._

_Everyone who reads these lines will be aware of the greater context – the conflict I'm referring to will remain in the galaxy's collective memories for millennia to come. And even our own mission, although arguably only a splinter of the entire effort has been raised to such heights that most likely, everyone reading this will probably have a very clear picture in their head about what to expect._

_I do not claim my personal history to be more interesting, let alone important than those of a lot of other people who gave their everything for our victory, as bitter as it may have been at times._

_But I fought and lived alongside some of the greatest beings in the history of our galaxy, people whose names shine much brighter than my own. And I believe that my… for multiple reasons, 'unique' perspective may be of interest for the public._

_Yet, I hope that my valued readers understand that I won't go into detail about every small facette, and occasionally I will shroud myself in silence and let history speak for itself. Even though it's been a while, I do not think that it would be wise of me to tear open wounds that have barely healed._

_But frankly, it's myself and the… circumstances of my involvement in all of this that undoubtedly will raise the most question-marks, and that is putting it extremely mildly. I am not even sure that the following protocol of the events I witnessed is ever going to be released without heavy censoring and editing on my part._

_As I mentioned before: Some things are best left unsaid, or are not my responsibility to speak of._

_All I want to do is to present to you my own story._

_Or rather, the interesting part of it._

_Allow me to go back, way back to the place where it all began..._

* * *

**Chapter 0 - ?: Stranded**

The shadows around my consciousness vanished and I regained control of my senses.

Bright light forced me to shut my eyes again. A light headache tugged on my nerves. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. On the second attempt, I looked up into a blue and clouded sky. I felt somewhat content to just stay on the ground.

I lay there for what I think was a minute or two, before my mind registered some rather disturbing things. First, I was laying on a surface made of a cool metal, most likely somewhere in the open. Second, I couldn't remember how I got there. Third, _why the hell is the sky bent?_

I snapped out of my stupor and quickly jumped back on my feet. Or, I tried to do so, at least. It probably looked like some drunkard trying to stand up after being kicked out of a bar at 2 AM - I even felt that way, for increased immersion. While I tried to steady myself, I noticed and reflexively grabbed my backpack, strapping it on without really thinking. I took a look around, feeling with chilling clarity that something was absolutely wrong.

It took me a moment to actually notice it, but then my blood froze in shock.

I stared around, not remembering this place at all. The only thing that my confused mind registered was, that it was definitely nowhere near my home. At least I had not heard of a big place with white skyscrapers around a large lake anywhere close to the town I lived in.

I glanced to the ground - a metal-plated walkway. Then I noticed the screeching sound above me - flying shuttles, dozens of them. I stared, dumbfounded, but something else caught my attention from the corner of my eyes. A large statue, blackish-grey, in the lake -

My heartbeat stopped for a second, all blood went from my face.

I stared at the monument of the Mass Effect relay. _The Conduit._

My vision blurred and I felt the ground spinning around me. Luckily, there was a handrail to support myself on, and I barely managed to avoid fainting.

_This is not real._

It didn't matter how often I blinked. The black statue stayed there, like to insult what little sanity I had left. With ragged breath and shaking hands, my thoughts being a mess, I gave in to the urge to sit back on the ground. My brain ... failed to process what my eyes told me. Maybe it just didn't want to understand it, fearing that I would only get unconscious again.

_This is not real. It has to be a dream. Or worse._

_One does not simply wake up on the fucking _Citadel.

I stared down on the floor and started to count. A simple yet proven way to calm myself down. I counted to hundred, then dared to lift my gaze back to the statue. It was still there. Taunting me.

It took me another minute or two to regain enough composure to stand up again and take a look at my surroundings.

If I hadn't finally gone insane, I really was on the Citadel.

That black statue in front of me was indeed the miniature Mass Relay, the very same which plays such a big role at the end of Mass Effect 1.

Something caught my eye, and I gazed to the left, stunned. Some Asari - _Asari!_ \- were standing on the far side of the bridge. Two asari dressed in elegant robes, who looked like they had been in the middle of a conversation before, but…

Now, they were looking at me. Eyeing me, curious and... warily.

Another part of my mind snapped back into place and made me form another coherent thought.

_I need to get away from here._ It was more of a flight instinct than a real thought, honestly. I couldn't stay on the Presidium, in the open, with no wall to protect my back and strangers looking at me like predators eying a rabbit... or that's at least how I felt - with rising waves of anxiety washing through me.

But where should I go?

The Wards. The Presidium was off-limits for the common folk, I suddenly remembered, although every thought still felt... dampened, somehow. Like I was caught in some sort of a dream sequence..

I could have gotten into real problems if I stayed where I was without a permission. And I had exactly nothing.

I suddenly realized that I had neither a clearance for the presidium, nor anything else which could have helped me.

Especially not here, where people use omnitools for everyth... _Omnitools?_

_I am in the future. Or another universe._

Another shock made me tremble. I felt another sudden surge of panic and the blood pulsating in my veins. The shock and confusion became increasingly stronger, and the fear made everything worse.

_I am in the future, I do not know anything, Am I on the Citadel? Does this even happen? Is this a dream?_

_Fuck, I need to get outta here_, _**now**__!_

* * *

I somehow managed to escape from the Presidium down into the Wards - Tayseri Ward, as I should learn later - without raising an alarm or getting arrested. I have no idea how – everything I remember is a blurred something made of black and red.

I regained my senses in a rather dark corner of an alleyway at the Lower Wards, hidden behind some crates and holding onto my backpack as if my life depended on it.

The relative darkness and the dimmed yet warm orange-red light, compared to the shining bright of the Presidium helped me to calm down and feel safer, but I am sure that it took at least some hours until I felt more than just confusion, fear, and the urge to hide myself.

Finally, I was able to shake it off and feel the solid ground beneath me.

I started to think again, and this time there was logic in it - and with the logic, the rest of my calm came back. Not that it meant that my hands had stopped shaking yet, or that I felt content with what happened, but, well… it was a start.

A thought that gave me cynic comfort was that it wasn't all bad. There were worse fates than waking up in the Mass Effect Universe. At the very fucking least the bad guys won't succeed in the end... maybe. Hopefully.

If my memory serves, I didn't just feel confused or afraid, but also... kinda excited?

That may be difficult to understand for some people. But I consider myself to be someone who always tries to make the best of a situation at hand.

And I mean, seriously, who doesn't sometimes want to enter a fictional world? I guess there were a hell lot of people out there who would have wanted to take my place here, maybe embracing it even more than I did. Which made me wonder... why the hell _me_? A thought that struck me out of absolute nowhere, but there it was.

Usually, if someone does some dimension-travel BS like this, he has an important mission. Or some important skills. Or he's just awesome.

In my usual sarcastic attitude, I guessed the latter to be the case. At least I didn't recognize any unusual physical or other traits on me that would've marked me out as some sort of a 'chosen one'.

I was always relatively content being the average male 21 years old gamer slash student slash cynical… whatever, really. And nothing of my person had, as far as I could see, changed 'on this side'... which was at least something. The world may have turned upside-down, but at least my freakin' glasses were still on my face.

I shrugged, a wary smile on my lips. I would see, feeling an odd sense of calm and a fair dose of excitement. For now, it had to be enough that I was there... something that thousands, maybe millions of people would envy me for... if I came back and they believed me, that is. It was not only strange, unsettling and well, a bit frightening, but also some sort of a chance.

But I am ready to bet any sum that those envious people don't really want to be in my position at that time either. I couldn't even remember how I got there in the first place. The last thing I knew was that I had left my apartment as usual in the morning – once I turned the key around, nothing. Only a dark gap.

Going back to the Presidium and searching for clues about what the fucking hell had happened there was not an option either. Without an ID, without any paperwork and with 21st century clothing that undoubtedly would make me stand out, C-SEC would probably arrest me immediately. And being the central (political) hub of the galaxy's capital, the Presidium was constantly monitored, so even if I could avoid them, they would have me nailed down within few hours.

And that would be ... unpleasant for me – because I was either not a registered citizen of the Systems Alliance, or even if I somehow was in one of their data bases, chances were high that I was missing since 2015. With any more bad luck, some really bad people would take quite some interest in me - and not of the pleasant type. In essence: I was trapped. Going back was not an option, so there was only one possible course of action: Moving forward.

* * *

I thought about my next steps, but I was lacking so many things and so much more things were uncertain. I pushed back the desperation by forcing a pattern on myself - starting with the essentials.

Which date was this exactly? Obviously sometime after the First Contact War in 2156, otherwise there would have been no chance of me getting away. Either I would have been an 'unknown alien', or an 'enemy combatant'.

After the Battle of Earth in 2186? Unlikely, the Citadel would be a pile of rubble.

There was the option of "a long time after the Reaper invasion"… but I preferred to not even consider it. The implications would have been devastating.

If I had to put my money on the line, I would have gone with early ME1. The security level was rather low (otherwise I would have never been able to flee from the Presidium), there was no debris or visible damage, and I remembered the area from Mass Effect 1. Of course, there was no way of being sure about it. Hell, I couldn'teven be sure if this was indeed a different dimension or _just_ freaking time-travel... 170 years is enough time to forget something like a video game franchise. I felt a bout of dizziness and forced that topic down on my priority list. Philosophical questions were absolutely not what I needed now.

I didn't have an omnitool to check these things. For that matter, I also didn't have a firearm to protect myself, nor the knowledge how to use one... a very critical skill to have in an upcoming or ongoing Reaper apocalypse. I don't even have a translator to speak with the aliens. And to put the icing on the pile of shit, I had no idea how to get my hands on any of these items.

At least I was able to take care of my grumbling stomach – the backpack contained my lunch package and a bottle of water. The meagre meal helped soothing my unrest, and I decided to check all the items I was carrying with me.

My glasses were still on my nose. They shouldn't be too much of a problem, though; if I was correct, then problems like nearsightedness could be cured for free. Unfortunately, they would make me stand out for now.

Suddenly, a certain serviceman in a certain fanfiction with the same problem in a similar situation came to my mind. I had to bite back an ironic grin. Maybe that particular story could be of use to me, too.

My wallet. I highly doubted that Euros were an accepted currency… but maybe I was able to trade them to a collector or someone like that. Maybe an antiquities dealer. That notion gave me the creeps.

My cellphone. Not a smartphone, but a good old - emphasis on old - and sturdy "Handy". Yes. And only we Germans call our cell phones like that. I do not know why, but as a certified cynic I suspect a rather hilarious and really dumb story behind it. Anyway, I considered it dead weight at that point. I actually tried calling someone - to no avail. Well, for now, I kept it – it could have come in… handy.

_Nice to know that I'm still able to make bad puns._

Some other useless stuff got sorted out as well, like the key to my apartment. I stared at it for a few very tense moments, barely containing an outburst of hysteria. The rest of the stuff - for example, paper, pens, pencils, went back into the backpack. I never went to university with more stuff than I had to use - something I regretted right now, but at least I had to carry less burden with me.

I was clothed in black jeans, regular street shoes,a white t-shirt, and a thick black weather-resistant jacket with a hell lot of bags. Unusual clothing for a space-station with a rather warm climate, but well, what options did I really have. Pyjamas would've been… much, much worse.

A package of cigarettes and a lighter. I had a feeling that there were a lot of things more likely to kill me than nicotine - _especially now_, I though with slight amusement. Hey, and maybe they even had a cure for lung cancer?

I took one of the cigarettes out and rolled it between my fingers, finally sighing and lighting up. I took a few drags and stared at the wall when a thought struck me.

_Maybe I shouldn't smoke in public_.

The brand and the fuel-lighter, not to mention the signature stench of burning tobacco could've given me away. Maybe smoking was even forbidden on the Citadel. I took another drag, but made a mental note to resist the temptation whenever possible.

Finally, my wristwatch. It was made from steel and at least looked rather expensive. _Better hide it, before someone thinks it's a good idea to rob me._

And finally and arguably the most important asset - my knowledge about the Mass Effect Universe.  
Some kind of a bitter victory really, finally being able to put all those hours of browsing around in the ME wiki instead of doing 'useful' stuff to good use. Not to mention all the time that I actually spent in the games or reading the myriads of fanfictions out there. Lots of useful information was hidden in these 'fictions' – alternate universes, what-could-have-been-ifs, stuff like that. Once more, the implications of all of this made my head spin.

But then I had an idea. I turned it around, considered it, compared it to my other options and thought it over. Then I accepted it with a tired snort as the only logical conclusion.

A lot of the shape was still missing, but it gave me the impulse to rise back from the ground regardless. For the first time since I 'arrived' here, I felt something like determination and a purpose. It definitely raised my spirits and made it possible to ignore all the oddities for now.

If Commander Shepard was out there, I needed to find him and to join his crew - regardless of the cost.

It may sound pathetic, but consider this: Did I have any other real choice?

It wasn't a matter of being cool, or "Hey, cool, I'm with Shepard!" _Of course_ it would've been _cool_ to be one of the heroes in this tale, I would be lying if I say anything else.

I was fully aware that I was by no means a soldier. I was motivated, yes, but I was also realistic enough to know that morale alone doesn't let you survive a firefight. I lacked fitness and I definitely lacked the skills. Hell, I had never fired a gun in my whole life! And even if I by some miracle managed to become a member of Shepard's elite squad, there certainly was going to be a lot of sweat, blood and pain involved. The image of Garrus taking that infamous missile to his face appeared before my inner eye and I flinched for a second. There wasn't a guarantee to survive. Much more experienced guys bite the bullet during the trilogy.

But if the Reaper War hadn't ended yet, then it didn't really matter if I was in the thick of it with the best team in the whole galaxy or if I was a civilian trying to survive on my own.

Hell, if the Reapers wouldn't get me, then C-SEC would. As I said, it was far too risky going back to the Presidium, so even if there was the key for my return I couldn't grab it now, and everything inside me opposed the idea of giving up that easily anyway. Fleeing the Citadel wasn't an option either. How, without papers, and where to? Even just staying undetected was difficult enough, I didn't have credits and couldn't get a job - at least not one where I wouldn't have to put my life on the line anyway.

So, if I had arrived after the whole trilogy – a possibility I absolutely refused to accept – I might have as well surrendered already.

It may sound strange – but the crew of the _NORMANDY_ were the only people who both had the ability to help me and I could trust - to an extent. Every other option would offer even higher risks.

With that settled, I knew I had to move. I knew that it would take everything to prove myself. Shepard would have no use for dead weight aboard his ship. And one way or another, time was ticking against me. And so, I prepared to face whatever fate had in store for me. Not out of pride, but out of necessity.

_Just pretend that all this is some kind of a campaign with missions to accomplish and goals to achieve. _I fletched my teeth as if to grin, but it ended as a grimace._ Keeps you from thinking too much about how ... impossibly crazy all of this is._

* * *

I took a deep breath, then I took a walk. I left the dark corner and the alleyway. This time, I didn't get overwhelmed by everything… but I still felt a bit unsteady and uncertain. At least I was ready to take everything in now. I leaned against the black display window of what appeared to be a store and took a long look at the road.

A big city with dark skyscrapers. Lots of stores. Skycars were flying high up. And people everywhere – turians, salarians, asari, a few humans even, calming my worst fears. One or two krogan. Even a hanar. No one took notice of me. The aliens and skycars aside, I almost felt like I was on a busy marketplace somewhere back home – Hamburg, maybe.

That illusion was lost in the moment I turned my gaze towards the sky. Or more accurate, the stars. I could see two of the other Citadel arms from where I was standing. Two black surfaces before the soft violet of the Widow Nebulae. And on this black, there were veins of orange light, slightly pulsating. It was hypnotically beautiful.

But it was another sight which truly took my breath. Between the Wards... a giant of a spacecraft. I had know that it had to be around somewhere, guarding the Citadel, but it was still a shock to see it in person. Was that really… the _DESTINY ASCENSION_?

It had to be either the famous flagship of the Citadel fleet, or a successor. Four fins as opposed to the usual three on Asari ships. And the size. Only if you'd see it with your own eyes, you realized just how big that thing really was. And _SOVEREIGN_ was even bigger? Help…

And despite its size, its movements... the whole design looked graceful as it drifted through space. It reminded me of the big animals of the sea, as strange as that might sound. They may seem plump and clumsy in form, but when they're in their element...?

_Did I just compare the ASCENSION to a whale?_

I stared up, still not really believing what I was seeing, and then it slowly started to sink in.

This was the Citadel, the center of galactic power, and it was the future.

Until now, I was still a little bit unsure if I wanted to stay here or rather go home. Now I was determined that I, at the _very fucking least_, wanted to take a long and good look at the possible future of Humanity. And maybe even help to save it from a murderous race of squid-machines.

On the other hand... The sheer size of this space station made me feel like an ant. And that was exactly what I was in this vast galaxy. I was just a single man. If I went down, right now, I would not be missed. And getting lost was very easy around here. The universe of Mass Effect was everything but a peaceful playground…

Shaking myself out of this line of thought, I reminded myself that standing around here was not going to help at all - so I decided to tackle the problems one at a time. Join the Crew. Hunt Saren. Destroy the Collectors. Stop the Reapers. _Done that before._ I must admit, I chuckled at the thought.

I drafted a quick plan. First: Find out which date this is, then adjust. Second: Get some credits. Third: Buy the necessary tools to survive, and some food. Fourth: Find out how to join Commander Shepard's Crew, or _at least_ how to get home again.

Admittedly, it was not much of a plan, but at least it was an _illusion_ of a plan.

I began the search for a store to sell some of my items when my gaze fell on my reflection in the black glass and I realized something.

* * *

I needed a new name and identity.

It should be pretty obvious that I just couldn't run around saying "Hey, by the way folks – I'm from the past!"

Two unpleasant scenarios. If this was a different dimension, then I would be in trouble anyway, because no one would believe me… but even if I was 'just' in the future, whoever caught interest could find me in some database - and figure out that I was born nearly two centuries ago. After all that incompetence and outright viciousness shown in the Alliance, I had a good reason not to trust the human government. And if someone like Cerberus got their filthy hands on information about a time-traveler…

I have seen what Cerberus did to its test subjects. In all seriousness, death might have been preferable to the torture they put Jack, David Archer and numerous other people through.

Getting a solid and 'alternative facts'-proof biography would require a lot of research, a lot of thinking and quite a bit of conviction. I had to crank it into my head so that I would almost believe it to be true myself.

In the great fanfiction 'Mass Vexations', the self-insert protagonist Art was an Earthborn whose fake story was, in essence, that he got onto the Citadel by a drug-induced 'accident' and on a freighter. Unfortunately, that story had some severe holes… although I had to agree that everything differing from 'Earthborn' would be far too risky.

One can maybe claim to be a child of Earth without a too big chance of getting traced… but that was not going to work for a colony world background. Human colonies were small. Everyone was registered or known by others, and even if you could pull such a stunt, your lack of knowledge about that colonies unique culture would ruin the entire cover.

And even 'sticking to the classic' wasn't easy. I somehow had to conceal the fact that I had basically no idea about 22th century daily lifestyle - among other things.

I would have to pick wisely.

I remained silent and observed my mirrored image.

It… wasn't really a special face. You put me in one of those mercenary armors, and I would've probably looked like one of the generic mob enemies. The only feature I ever thought worth mentioning were the steely blue eyes, which always look tired yet alert, no matter the time of the day. Maybe the lips, just a little bigger than the average and amplifying the emotions I express with them - trademarks being sarcastic smiles and ironic grins, as well as sometimes deep tiredness. Other than that? Nothing extraordinary. Dark blonde hair, cut short. Pale, but healthy looking skin. The usual three-day beard which had turned into a seven-day beard… I looked like a crook, and was somewhat proud of it.

I did have a different name in reserve already. Among other things, I tend to play with words and letters, when I am bored. And one day, I had played with my own name. I had taken its eight letters and added an additional "S" for the sound. At that time, it was just a little thing to play with, and I thought it to be… let's just say, 'interesting'.

_Sounds like the way one would name his player character in a game. _I smiled, seeing my lips forming a crooked grin, and with that, it was basically decided.

"I am Jess Raven." I softly told my mirrored image and saw the grin turning into a genuine smile.

* * *

_**Addendum, May 2017:** Ladies and Gentlemen! This chapter, orginally released in March 2015, got heavily reworked in May 2017 to improve its originally horrible style of writing. I have greatly improved my English, and as a writer in general ever since I started, so I hope I succeeded in making this prologue reflect it. Please let me know in the reviews - I try and answer every single review that I get. Plus, another big shoutout to **5 Coloured Walker** for enduring all of this!  
For those of you that want to read the original prologue - you will find all the original chapters as a seperate story on my profile shortly. Enjoy the read!_

* * *

**_Orginal A/N, March 2015:_**_ Greetings, folks! My name is __**RedRaven**__, and this is my first major fanfiction project. I know, I know – self-insertion fanfictions always tend to be a lil' problematic, to say the least, and have to be treated carefully. I'll try my best though to ensure that this one is as "realistic" as I can get – meaning that I try my very best to act exactly like I would in RL. Though if anybody has (constructive) critic to add – feel free to do so!_

_Some infos on what I wanna do with this: This story spans the entirety of ME1 to ME3 and I seriously think about adding a fourth "chapter" post-war, of course non-canon. The "raw plot" and many of the details are already planned, from ME1 to ME3, but I am an extremely lazy writer so I'll take my sweet time releasing updates... this story will be finished though, so don't worry. One new chapter per month is my declared goal, at least._

_Now, I wanna add some "thank you's" before we start with our story. First, to my fellow writer and friend __**Armnorn**__, who is as ME-addicted as I am and helps me with both beta-reading and the details of the story. (Lil' spoiler: He will enter the story as well...)._

_The second would be __**HerrWozzeck**__, of course. While my story will have many references to other fanfictions – there are few ways around it, since I read more fanfictions then I actually played the games - , HerrWozzeck and his "Mass Vexations" were what inspired me to this one. Hell, I read the whole MV2-thing in one day!_

_And last but not least are all the other very talented writers in the fanfiction-universe, whose stories I have enjoyed over the past few years. To name a few who are especially important to me: __**Detective-Mason**__ with his "Antiquated Love." __**Jack Trader**__ and "Shining Bright". __**Animus of Masada**__ and "First Contact". __**Thessian Shadows**__ with "When All Was Lost". __**B18932**__ with "Paragon Reinterpretations".__**TREBOR117**__ with his "Stuck in a World of Fiction." And lots and lots of other people who deserve to be mentioned here, because their stories shaped my view on the Mass Effect Universe and formed the foundation for my own._

_Anyway... have fun, and please enjoy!_

_P.S.: Yeah, and as I really am a German, please be tolerant with my English – and report any grammatical issues to me._


	2. One - Raven: Preparations

_**"Fortune favors the prepared mind."** \- Louis Pasteur_

* * *

**Chapter 1 – Raven: Preparations**

**E**levators, in the context of Mass Effect, have quite a shady reputation. They are far too slow. A cheap disguise for loading time. Only interesting for the team dialogues. You get the general idea.

For me however, the elevators here soon proved to be invaluable. Although feeling like slow pieces of junk, they were the fastest way of travelling around the wards regardless. To phrase it carefully - the Citadel was bloody huge, far bigger than the games suggested. Which, all things considered shouldn't have been surprising. It still was one of many lessons I should learn.

The best thing however was that every elevator was equipped with a news broadcasting system. Just like ingame, between every floor a single message played, supposedly feeding the citizens with their dose of information. I figured pretty quickly that these news were always broadcasted in the language of the race they concerned. I wasn't a linguist, but there was no way that the female (Asari?) sing-song and the supposedly salarian fast-paced gibberish were the same language. So when a male voice spoke in a clear and understandable English, it had my full attention.

_"Today the Systems Alliance Navy formally confirmed the existence of a new frigate-class prototype vessel which was created in collaboration with the Turian Hierarchy. Its christening will take place in the coming days. As Admiral Steven Hackett of the Fifth Fleet told ANN, the ship will be named _NORMANDY_ after a region on Earth famous for one of humanity's greatest military campaigns. Further rumours about newly developed technology are yet awaiting verification by Alliance officials."_

I wasn't able to contain either my giddiness, or the relieved sigh. That got me some curious glances from some other passengers, but despite my plans of staying inconspicuous, I honestly couldn't bring myself to care. They should've been glad that I didn't start to dance though I absolutely felt like doing so.

Knowing that I was only a few weeks early for the begin of the Mass Effect trilogy took a gigantic weight off my heart and mind. I had been granted a bit of time to maximize my chances, and I was not going to let that go to waste. With renewed dedication, I went out of the cabin to continue my quest.

* * *

I will not dwell on the details of my first 'journey' around the Citadel. Take every single stereotype about gawking tourists, mix a tiny bit of 'suddenly, the future' and a fair a amount of general disbelief into it, and you're getting quite close.

It took me half an hour to find a decent, albeit slightly run-down general store with a human salesman. It was important to find a store managed by a human – as long as I couldn't get my hands on a translator, there were simply no other options.

Just walking along the wide, light grey roads and listening to the alien language made the importance of such a device unmistakably clear.

I admit, I was extremely nervous – my mind constantly rattled down all the things that could possibly go wrong, and trust me, there was a lot of them. But lucky for me, the clerk – an elderly man with long grey hair – appeared to buy my story of a lost omnitool and a malfunctioning translator. Or he saw through my disguise and simply didn't care, or he didn't care in general.

Whatever the truth actually was, he was unwilling to buy any of my items, but told me about a volus merchant who sold, bought and collected currency from all over the galaxy. He even lend me a translator. An older model, apparently, with earphones that were uncomfortable and itchy, but it functioned - I tested it on his asari coworker.

The greyed clerk took one of my coins as a pawn, then pointed me the right direction and went back to work. I felt encouraged by the ease of this deal and went on my way.

The Volus, on the other hand, was a much harder nut to crack. He was a crafty negotiator, and I suspect that he ripped me off quite nicely. I somehow kept my calm while being within his reach, but on my way back to the general store I had quite the wild fantasies about using the merchant and his football-like suit for some extensive penalty shooting. But being an illegal without any credentials, I had to endure the punches - had the volus sent a C-SEC unit after me, that would have been catastrophic, and even then I occasionally and nervously looked over my shoulder.

All in all, however, the transaction went quite well for me. It turned out that the old Euro coins were quite valuable - the Vatican City 2-Euro-coin alone brought me 2000 credits. In the end, I traded 130 Euro in coins and banknotes into almost 8400 Credits in credit chips. Again, it would have been more, but… at least I was set up for a few weeks.

Once back at the store, I used half an hour to choose a good translator, a reliable omnitool and some other useful stuff.

Finally, I settled for an Elkoss Combine Cipher-II tool. Like everything made by that company, a cheap and average, but still durable device. I was giddy to test it out, but that had to wait until I was out of public view.

My new translator consisted of two earbuds, nice to wear and yet somehow not limiting my hearing. As far as I understood, they filtered everything I heard and replaced everything spoken with a translation that sounded like the speaker's original voice. So far, so good, but I just couldn't figure out how it worked on text or hanar light impulses. The writing on the packages stayed just the same, but somehow the scribbling suddenly made sense in my head. I stared for a minute, dumbfounded, spent another five minutes theorizing about telepathy and mind reading, then I finally accepted 'space magic' as a scientific explanation.

There was just one, but big problem, for me in particular. Translators are passive devices, which means that they translate incoming languages, but not what the user himself was saying. That does make sense - why should you make one of the most important devices in the galaxy overly complicated? The problem with that is that the most common models are only able to translate English, as it is the main human language.

To cut things short: I was unable to rely on my native language, except for annoying the ever living hell out of everyone. _Verdammt_. I briefly railed with fate on why this couldn't be the german localization, but then my well-trained sense for cynicism reminded me that our voice actors plainly suck.

At least my English was decent enough for a start... and I would get enough opportunities to improve, one way or another. I made a mental note to look out for some translation apps, then that topic was done for the time being.

I added some cheap but durable spare clothings, which looked just like the stuff colonists wear in ME2 and 3, some basic equipment like a razor and a toothbrush (I had a 'flashback' to the Citadel DLC and deliberately chose one _without_ mass effect fields), some colonist 'military' rations and a few bottles of water. I handed my credit chit to the grey man, and a few moments later I was 750 credits poorer.

"Anything else I can do for ya?" He asked, sounding half-bored, half-interested. I nodded and decided to take my chance."

"Yes, there is something I would like to ask … can you recommend me a relatively cheap, but still nice hotel somewhere around here?"

He looked thoughtfully. I didn't miss the sudden spark of interest in his eyes.

"There's a Salarian called Marson… runs his so-called "Hotel" a few streets from here. Was there during my first time on the Citadel. It's more like a bunkhouse then a hotel, If ya ask me – but everyone has his own room, it's real' cheap, rather clean, and the food is not too shabby either. 30 creds a day, what I remember."

"Thank you. And, well …" I didn't know why, but suddenly I felt like doing something dangerously bold, "Any ideas where I can find an arms dealer who… how should I phrase it… is not that interested in licenses and that bureaucratic stuff?" I regretted opening my mouth the very second later, but at least the elderly clerk was the only one able to hear me.

His grin was far too wide for me to feel good about it. I had made a mistake, and an extremely dumb one.

"Had a feeling you would ask for something like that, kid. Wanna join one of the merc gangs, eh? Nah, don't worry," he had seen the look on my face, "won't tell anyone. Don't like C-SEC anyway. Listen," He leaned over his counter, speaking in a low voice and forcing me to get closer to his face. I couldn't avoid the smell of cheap alcohol any longer.

"There's that Turian guy, Drussus. Was my partner when we were runnin' around on Omega. Has some nice low-grade and cheap weapons for sale, exactly what a starter like you needs. Even sells some basic armor. Nothing fancy, only legal stuff – but he won't ask you for an ID or somethin' like that. The guy even has a shootin' range where you can practise a lil'. If he gets bitchy, just tell him that Roman send ya. I'll get my share, don't worry."

He gave me a wink which actually did feel genuinely nice. My nervosity didn't leave me, but eased off enough to allow me an ever so slight grin. _Fair deal. Don't ask, don't tell, just buy that stuff and we're good._ That was a business policy that I could live with. But when I was out of Roman's sight, I grimaced and heavily berated myself.

Had I guessed wrong, and that guy been a completely lawful citizen, probably not even three minutes would have passed until the sights of the authorities would have been firmly trained on my head. I couldn't believe that I had been distrustful of the asari and the volus, but slipped up in front of a fellow human. There was no reason to trust him more than any alien.

What had been done had been done, however. I had no other option than to move quickly, figure out if I had been screwed over, and then either following Roman's advice or getting the hell out.

* * *

I found Drussus where my greying 'benefactor' told me I would find him, in one of the quieter corners of the ward. He first looked at me quite suspiciously and asked for my ID. For the record, a turian eyeing you warily is extremely _unsettling_. To my relief, the name 'Roman' startled him just as much, his behavior changed to 'cooperative', and I was allowed to take a good look at his large arsenal.

I first looked for an assault rifle, and chose the Avenger-II. Another Elkoss Combine product, it was affordable yet still decent enough. If my plans worked out as well as I hoped, It only had to be effective for one single fight anyway – what happened after that, I could tackle later.

I guess it is fair to say that I was both very excited and really worried when I took the gun in my hands for the first time. It was surprisingly light, not heavier than maybe 2 or 3 kilograms, not counting the ammoblock which added another kilo to the weight. It was equipped with a stock grip suited for almost any hand (and almost every amount of fingers) - and the plain green-dot sights allowed a clear look on my target, even slightly reducing light effects and artificial light.

While the weapon was all good and well… I had more and more concern about my own qualities as a shooter. I had never even held a 21st century rifle, knew how they functioned only in theory, and mass effect-based weapons were an almost complete unknown. Heck, the very concept had been sci-fi… until a few hours ago.

My heart sank realizing all of that, but I couldn't allow myself to show any weakness to the turian. Who was I to dare even consider to be good enough for the _NORMANDY_ squad? It came hammering into my mind that I could allow myself absolutely no rest trying to learn as much as I could. Being in this place a few weeks early was the ultimate saving grace. Forcefully, I pushed all of these thoughts to the back of my head and focused on the here and now.

The second item I bought was a pistol. Namely, a Judgement-II. To be absolutely honest, the main reason why I took that one was the collector's instinct inside me. You_ never_ get to use that thing in-game without using cheats. Though, something told me better not to ask how Drussus had gotten his talons on batarian guns, especially that cheap. Still, with a 'magazine capacity' of fifteen bullets and decent accuracy and damage ratings, I took it.

To complete my loadout, I also bought both a Hahne-Kedar Storm-I shotgun and an Avenger-I sniper rifle. I could have afforded higher grade weaponry, and I was tempted to do so, but… I had a strong dislike towards shotguns, and knowing my general unsteadiness, I wasn't sure if I was able to keep the barrel on target. Also, I had to be watchful of my budget. Basic grade it was, then.

The most challenging problem I faced was getting a reliable armor. Not only had it to protect my very life - and quicksave/quickload was not an option - but it also had to be concealable. I was conspicuous enough as it was, and wearing an armored suit without any markings on the Citadel would've been… I guess 'Overkill' is an adequate description.

And, well, the common body armor in Mass Effect was not exactly subtle, plus they all were probably very difficult to wear correctly or to don, especially for someone not used to it. That was quite a nerve-wrecking difficulty - until I laid eyes on the turians collection of ballistic vests.

The human/asari-unisex-models looked quite similar to the lightweight ballistic Kevlar vests from 'back in my days'. The major difference was a broad belt around the waist section. It had roughly the size of a boxing champion belt, could be worn without the rest of the gear and contained the shield generator.

"Those vests are used by C-SEC covert ops and civilian VIPs" said the now slightly less nervous Drussus. His mandibles flared. "It is meant to be worn under your clothing and protects from low-grade weaponry. Even sniper rifles up to Tier III will have problems to penetrate the weave. But the major advantage is a relatively strong barrier that protects even the areas which are not covered by the vest itself – especially head and legs."

That sounded almost too good. "How strong is 'relatively strong'?"

"This vest has a shield with a protection rating of 200, the ballistic weave itself is rated as a six." _Not bad at all_. Doing the quick maths, that rated the material at half as strong as a Tier-I-Light Armor. A suit that surrounds the entire body, compared to something only covering the upper body. And the shield's strength was equivalent to a Tier-III-Heavy Armor! More than enough for the amount of trouble I was expecting.

"A very good choice – if you can afford it."

Oh, I certainly could. Although, not without wincing internally as the turian cutthroat took another 3200 credits off my account. Well, at least now I was fully decked out and somewhat well protected. The only thing left to do was to get used to handling the gear... meaning, kill things without dying myself. And for that...

"Roman told me you have a shooting range where I can practice."

The turians green eagle eyes focused intensely on me. "Yeah, it is in the basement. Whatever range or target, I got it. Twenty credits for the whole day."

A tempting offer, but I needed to set up a 'base of operations' first. "Tomorrow." I suddenly noticed how tired I was, stifling a yawn yet trying to look alert. I guessed that travelling through time and space, ending up on a supposedly fictional space station and going shopping took a bigger toll on me than I thought. In that exact order.

"Alright." He took a long look at me, like he was trying to determine my skill – or, to gauge how much more he was able to squeeze out of me. "I'll be back in thirteen hours, just come here if you want to let off some steam."

"Good". I nodded, kneeled on the floor and stuffed everything into my backpack. "I'll be here." With determination, I zipped the bag shut and looked up.

The turian's mandibles clicked, I guessed in slight amusement. He turned around and walked back to his counter, but turned around halfway to drop a last snarky remark.

"Ah, and if you happen to kill someone with those weapons... I had nothing to do with it."

* * *

A look at my watch told me that it was almost 20 o'clock, at least 'Oldtimer standard'. Not that it really mattered. I had no idea how long I had been unconscious, I had stayed in that alleyway doubting myself and the world, and the Wards lacked a day-night-cycle anyway. Now that my bases were covered, I could allow myself such useless considerations, but I could not allow myself to rest just yet.

Heavily packed with round about sixty pounds of arms and armor and other stuff I made my way to that bunkhouse. It was cheap, no doubt. Otherwise, I would've been able to at least see some windows from the outside, and not just the black façade of another Citadel ward 'skyscraper'. Or maybe people around here didn't care about windows, it was hard to tell.

One of the typical Citadel automatic doors further and I stepped in front of Marson's counter. He was rather non-talkative for a salarian. Or maybe he was actually a 'regular speciman' – the only two salarians I remembered in detail were a certain salarian scientist and the SPECTRE Jondum Bau from ME3.

Whatever was the truth, I paid him 90 Creds for three days in advance and additional ten for a dinner, and then he led me to a bigger dining room, really plain and only with few pieces of decoration. Inside, there were roughly twenty other patrons enjoying a break, most of them salarians. To my relief, nobody took more interest in me than necessary, and I made sure to get a table for myself.

The food itself was … interesting – some sort of fish with some sort of vegetable. Clearly alien, but it wasn't too bad. It didn't look too strange either. It did lack a little bit of taste, I assumed to make it appealing to a broader range of customers. Well, as long as it kept me sated and didn't poison me, who was I to complain? Maybe I would be able to get myself some tabasco somewhere.

Once I had finished my meal and felt a lot better, Marson walked over and handed me a keycard. "First floor. Left side, last room." I thanked him and walked through the grey floors. A keycard lock was probably the lowest low-grade security tech available on the Citadel… but it got the job done, even if someone like Kasumi would probably have laughed her ass off. I sent a brief prayer to Lady Luck that I hadn't been tagged by any type of security measures, because that was bottomline everything I could do about it.

The room itself was quite small and had only minimal furniture, but it was clean, had a small bathroom (which looked surprisingly similar to the ones I am used to) and felt comfortable enough. And really… should I, somehow, manage to get aboard the _NORMANDY_, living in small spaces would be a given regardless, so I had to get used to it one way, or another. I still missed a window, though. _Ah, whatever_.

I sat down onto the bed, noticed how soft it was, and with a sigh let myself sink on it before closing my eyes. I suddenly felt very tired, but also lightheaded… and had the sudden urge to laugh.

I was able to hold it back for a few seconds before it burst out. The whole craziness of the situation came to my mind, and my laughter turned just a little bit hysterical. _Adios, sanity! Hello darkness, my old friend..._

It took some time to calm down, then, with a resignated sigh, I refocused on my To-Do list. That was easier said than done, however. I guess the lack of adrenaline made me feel just how much had really happened that day. Tiredness crept in my bones, and all energy seemed to be drained into the abyss. Still, there was one last thing to do before I could allow myself a rest.

It required quite some time to get used to handling the omnitool (for example, that thing activated itself when you moved your fingers in a certain way) and even after half an hour of try-and-error and RTFM, I only knew the very basic features. Ignoring the additional few hundred milligrams of black and blocky weight directly next to my watch would require days. At least the Extranet wasn't that different from the Internet I was used to … if you ignore the fact that the preinstalled browser was better, faster, and more intuitive than anything I knew. Not to mention bloody _interstellar._

One hour of digging up the past later, I had most of the information I needed.

* * *

Lieutenant Commander Jane Shepard. Daughter of Captain Hannah Shepard, the father's identity unknown to the public, presumed dead. Originally an Alliance Navy Infantry soldier, she was now an N7 specialist and elite operator, considered to be one of the best. Hero of the Systems Alliance, known also as the _Lioness of Elysium_.

Most noticeable accomplishment: Rallying the besieged and demoralized defenders and leading the fight for the colony's capital city. Defended the colony with only 86 militia, marines on shore leave and armed civilians for eight hours against multiple hundreds of batarian and Hegemony-backed slavers. Personally killed the slavers field commander during the Alliance' counterattack by cutting his throat wide open with her omniblade. Bestowed with the Systems Alliance Star of Terra, the highest military order available, for "extreme bravery far above and beyond the call of duty".

Or, in gamer's terms: F!Shep, Spacer, War Hero, presumably Paragon. Her picture in the extranet equivalent of Wikipedia looked almost exactly like the default female Shepard of the Mass Effect series... the one from ME3, to be exact. Right down to the freckles, with the only difference being that on that particular picture she was in formal dress, had her hair in a bun and was wearing the Star on her chest.

I allowed myself to relax a little. A Paragon Shepard was, in my opinion, the best case scenario. Some of the actions of Renegade Shepard were… fun, certainly, but in a very fucked-up way. And a Renegade would have many problems rallying the needed support for the Reaper War.

Plus, I personally wouldn't want to work with someone who sacrifices civilians and does other despicable things. Well, not that I would have considered myself to be an all out Paragon. Sometimes a little bit of ruthlessness was quite useful in making my life easier. But there was a line that may not be crossed.

Of course, I had no way of being sure that this incarnation of Shepard was indeed a Paragon. Real life has its way of being unpredictable in its own right. But at least the signs pointed towards a tolerant, respectful and all in all nice Commander, with 'Spacer' being neutral and 'War Hero' a Paragon background.

I admit, although retrospectively with a little bit of shame, that I was slightly disappointed that it was not a Bro!Shep. It was a immature thing, but I liked Mark Meer's deadpan snarking more than Jennifer Hale's emotional speeches. And, to my credit, I noticed the ridiculousness in my thoughts myself.

"Don't you have bigger problems right about now?", I ask myself aloud, shaking my head in irony. But there were indeed some unexpected details.

For example: Jane Shepard ... had a living sibling. Unfortunately, the article wasn't very enlightening – it only stated that he was a twin brother. It threw me a little bit out of balance... but then again, the Mass Effect canon didn't exactly deny the existence of a sibling. He or she just wasn't mentioned at all. _Still, is he now M!Shep?_

However I turned this around, it was a factor that I would have to take into account. But for now, it was irrelevant, and there were more important matters to think about.

The _NORMANDY_s official launch was scheduled to happen in the coming four to five days, according to most Extranet news sources. Adding another few days for supplying, the flight to Eden Prime, the mission on Eden Prime itself and the flight to the Citadel, I estimated roughly seven to ten days until I would have my personal "First Contact" with the Going-To-Be-Most-Famous-Human-In-Existence. I had looked up average travel times between different planets, was surprised to find out that it was slower than anticipated (five days for the regular Earth-Citadel passenger ships) and tried to make my guess as reasonable as possible. So, between one and one and a half week were left to make the best of that situation. It was pretty clear that I couldn't afford to waste a single day.

It was a crying shame that Nihilus Kryk and Corporal Jenkins were going to die on Eden Prime, but my hands were tied for the time being. The only way I could imagine to pass a warning which might have been heard in time would be to contact the Shadow Broker via his resident agent and banker Barla Von… but firstly, that would most likely have been too expensive for my rather slim money reserves, and secondly, the whole 'keeping a low profile' thing would've been completely impossible then. And there was only one thing I feared more than a Cerberus interrogation... the Shadow Broker tracking me down.

_Make sure their deaths are worth it_, I grimly vowed to myself. You own them that much_._

No news from Eden Prime had been reported, not even rumors. Also, no recent stories regarding a SPECTRE named Saren or anything else that kept my interest for longer than a quick fascinated glimpse. And even if there were such information to be found…

I suddenly yawned and reminded myself that there was going to be more than enough time in the coming days to do some research about the recent human history and everything else. I used a newly discovered omnitool-application to remotely switch the lights off, and a few minutes later I was fast asleep, dreaming wild dreams of dimension travels and instruments of torture.

* * *

I woke up roughly ten hours later, thanks to my cellphone's alarm. Keeping my eyes closed, I didn't notice anything out of order and instead cursed at the alarm for waking me so damned early for yet another day at the university.

But when I grabbed for the phone, my arm kept grabbing air... and a metallic surface. Drunk with sleep, I felt utterly confused. My nightstand was made of wood. I finally opened my eyes. And the outstretched arm froze mid-air. I saw where I truly was. I recalled what I remembered. Darkness. The Presidium. The panic attack. The Wards. The shopping tour. And the freakin' hotel I was sleeping in. I wasn't dreaming. My fist slammed into the table next to me, and I muttered a hell lot of curses to keep the quickly rising tension at bay.

Lucky for me, a cold shower was very effective in both ridding me of any remaining dizziness and also calming me down. I sat down down onto my bed, stared against the wall for the next fifteen minutes and then began to feel better.

I set my mind on the next objective at hand - getting used to guns - and a quick check of my equipment erased the last bit of insecurities for now, replacing it with anticipation. Even more so, since my new futuristic 'toys' still amazed me to no end. If you would call me a pretty simple man, at least for that time, I wouldn't object.

And when I finally zipped my jacket shut and left my room, I felt almost content with the situation. Almost. But that was at least one thing I was good at... accepting situations for what they were and adapting to get the best out of them.

After a long, salarian-made imitation of a human breakfast (and of course they only had that three-times cursed floppy american toast and no _real_ bread), I grabbed my gear and headed over to Drussus. Twenty credits changed their owners, and the barefaced turian led me to the basement and left me alone with my anxiety – there was no other customer. I was glad about it – I suspected this 'secret' range to be a gang's training area, and I wanted nothing to do with that.

The 'basement' was a large area opened up on the left side – it didn't only look like your typical in-game warehouse, it even felt like one. There were some crates scattered around, and on the far end I saw a quite extensive shooting range. Pop-up dummies, moving targets, even some of these typical cylindric bottles were lined up and awaiting their fate at the hand of a rookie shooter. The entire ensemble looked like makeshift, but it was at least relatively unlikely that anybody was going to disturb me here.

I put on my ballistic vest and then my jacket over the vest as instructed. _Hm_.

It was quite light and thin, no more than a winter pullover, but still not as flexible as I would have liked. It did restrict my movement somehow, but much less than an actual armor. I guessed. After all, a full-on armored suit consisted of absolutely rigid ceramic plating while this vest one was some kind of advanced plastic. The most important thing that mattered to me was its effectiveness at saving my life, and that was something I could only check later.

_Let's start easy_, I thought with a funny feeling in my stomach. I grabbed the Judgement pistol, inserted the ammo block like Drussus had shown me the day before, took it in both hands, went into position, aimed down the sights onto my target (the chest of one of the dummies roughly twenty meters away) and, not without gulping, pulled the trigger.

The recoil was less strong than I had expected, but still strong enough to made me sway a little. At least I knew a bit of theory about firing stances and good grips on guns, so I avoided dealing any damage to my hands and arms. Still, I had missed my target. _Meh._

The next hour was spent on recoil management and actually hitting the target. I sent half an ammoblock - roughly five hundred rounds - down range, and felt like I actually made progress. As long as I aimed for the chest, I scored. Sure, that was nothing extraordinary, but it was something. I sighed in relief when I clicked the sidearm to the vests magnetic holster. I was not completely helpless anymore.

The Avenger-II rifle proved to be not too bad to handle either. I did have some problems keeping it steady – not to mention the stress it put on my whole body – but somehow I still managed to hit my targets more often than I missed them. I quickly switched from trying to full-on spray to short, controlled bursts or even single fire - the automatic mode was, at least for now, uncontrollable for me. And the Avenger was supposed to be a relatively stable gun. I had tried it, though, and would make sure to improve.

The shotgun and the sniper rifle beat me, though, and these two weapons were not as forgiving of noobish mistakes as assault rifle and pistol. My first experience with a sniper rifle was as follows: Raven taking the rifle, of course holding it wrongly, in his hands. Raven drawing a bead at a dummy, bringing the sight too close to his eyes. Raven pulling the trigger… Raven being slapped by the rifle's stock and barely manages to avoid a black eye.

I can grin about it now, but at the time it was both hurtful and humiliating. Tears shot in my affected eye and I muttered a five minutes long string of German and English insults and cusses.

For the second try, I made sure as hell to fasten the grip on the weapon, but it still was everything but easy to handle. Keeping the long barrel steady enough for a precise shot seemed physically impossible, the four-times magnification sight swayed wildly and every attempt at steadying or counteracting only made things worse. I finally managed to fire a single, steadied bullet… which barely hit a bottle fifty meters away. It was pathetic, but I felt like a champion… for a few minutes. I had a fancy for sniper rifles and was very tempted to invest all my practice time on actually learning that thing, but rationality kicked in and brought me back to reality. Decent handling of the basics was more important than some fancy-yet-impractical sharpshooting. I wouldn't impress anyone, let alone Shepard, with that. It would take some time to gain the necessary steadiness… time I definitely did not have.

And then came the shotgun. I had thought that my attempts at sniping had been mortifying. I had been wrong.

The muzzle flashed, and in the same moment a flash of pain seared through my right side. It hurt enough that I had to drop the weapon and grab my shoulder, clenching my teeth and hissing wildly. The kickback had almost broken my arm.  
At least the gun was stable enough so that the fall didn't trigger another shot with potential deadly consequences.

As I carefully moved my overtaxed arm, I asked myself in all seriousness why I had even bothered to buy that gun. I was not going to use it anyway.  
Yes, a shotgun's potential stopping power is enormous, but so is the time in-between shots. I would have preferred a high rate of fire and spray-and-pray at any time over the questionable one-shot-one kill, at least when being in close quarters. The thought of having an enemy in front of me, while I would be forced to cycle in a new shell and being at his mercy was horrifying.  
Unfortunately, machine pistols were not available to me in the moment. The first of many reasons why I would be glad for the transition to ME2.

The problem that now came to mind was: What other weapon could I use in melee range?

Suddenly, it struck me. _Wait…melee… knife range, that's exactly…_

An omniblade. The combination of heavy pistol and omniblade should be able to do the job. My sidearm had enough punch to damage or even down an enemies shields, and omniblades tear through most materials known to mankind. The more I thought about it, the more I grew worried about my brawler abilities, but the more going all _stabby-stabby_ sounded like an actually good idea.

There was, however, another question... Whatever opponent would be able to get close enough, despite the three weapons of Shepard's squad firing at it might not exactly allow me the time to drop the assault rifle for pistol and blade.

_A bayonet?_ I remembered some photos I had seen, of old World War II rifles with knives attached to them. That would definitely be _cool_. And also, arguably the best, or at least a reasonable way to take on someone that close. I would still have my rifle in my hand and could keep shooting without having to pause once the 'problem' had been dealt with.

I kept the idea in mind for later - I had neither any equipment to really turn it into reality, and I highly doubted that it could work if I simply _glued_ an additional omnitool on the barrel.

What I _did_ do, was to activate my own tool and, after a little bit of browsing around, start to download an omniblade app. It actually and surprisingly was freeware - a civilian 'downgrade' from the military weapon, with a shorter blade and a delay from activation to the blade's materialisation. However, it was literally only one step further to extranet sites with shady reputations, but excellent guides on how to… _modify_ the tool to reach that level of deadliness.

Now, all I needed were some light metal alloys for the mass fabricator to work with. I made a note to myself to search for some scrap and to ask Ashley Williams for the bayonet once I - hopefully - was a part of the _NORMANDY_ crew. But first steps first - and that meant practice, practice and then some more practice. Getting better was the key - I didn't want Shepard to take me aboard out of pity.

Thinking about it, getting aboard the ship without being part of the squad might actually have been an option. I could have asked for protection, as a witness or source of information. But two things stood against that idea. First, chances were that I instead could have been put into protective custody on the Citadel. Second - my own pride. My own, damned pride forbade me to accept an existence as a simple observer. Now that I, under whatever circumstances, had ended up in this reality, in this future, I would do whatever necessary to be a part of it. Seriously. Having this chance I was not supposed to have and then being sidelined would suck, wouldn't it?

So I ended up spending half the day at the warehouse, shooting and slicing practice targets until I was too tired and exhausted to be able to do anything useful anymore. I headed back to the 'hotel' and pretty much collapsed on my bed, slightly wincing as I put too much pressure on my sore bones. Well, I had to deal with it. Nobody said it would be easy to become an acceptable rifleman.

Or to become part of a video game, for that matter.

I wrapped up the day by activating my omnitool and reading about the time between 2015 and 2183.

* * *

The 'alternate universe' theory was confirmed. It wasn't clearly visible on the first glance, but there were a lot of indicators and proof once you had figured out what to look out for.

I looked up historic events and compared what was written in encyclopedias to what I remembered myself. The major events up until 2000 were the exact same as in 'my' timeline, but the closer you got to 2015, the more differences there were. For example, the fall of the Berlin Wall in 1989 or the terrorist attack on the World Trade Center in 2001 were still 'the same' in all aspects I had in memory.

And in the US 2012 elections, it was still Barack Obama who got elected for the second four years period. But here the discrepancies started - his direct opponent was not Mitt Romney. It had been Sarah Palin. Germany still has won the 2014 Soccer World Championship (_yay!_), but it was not Mario Götze who scored the deciding goal against Argentina during overtime. It was Miroslav Klose, who had scored that goal per penalty. For that matter, it wasn't even Argentina who we played against but the Netherlands.

I could add a lot more and more significant changes the closer you get to summer '15, but you get the idea. With significant worry, I even tried to check if I was still 'myself', or just an 'alter ego'. But the websites where I possibly could have left traces on – where I have written articles, posts, stories on – were nowhere to be found. So, I had no idea if I had gone missing in 2015 or if I still existed in that timeline. It freaked me out a little bit, thinking about the possibility of at the same time being on the Citadel and long dead in a grave on Earth.

And I was just unable to find an answer… I couldn't not find a freakin' trace of my friends or family either. There were people with my family name…. but it isn't that rare in Northern Germany.

I had to stop that line of thought once my head started spinning. It was easier to just pretend ... or accept... that no one of my friends, family members or acquaintances existed or was still alive here... but I couldn't help but feeling sad and lost.

Letting my head hang low, I had to come to terms with the fact that there was nobody whom I could talk to, or who could help me here. No one who watched my back. I was standing alone.

* * *

For the next eight days, I followed a routine of combat practice and getting at least somewhat familiar with the Citadel - there was no chance in hell to visit everything, but I tried to at least visit the most important locations, although I always did my best to avoid C-SEC. Which was actually easier than I thought - the security measures prior to ME1 were a joke, really.

Day 1, I spent almost entirely on the shooting range, but as I grew more used to my weapons I began to realize that it lacked a little bit of a real combat situation and, frankly, of a challenge. So I searched for combat simulators on the Citadel, and got lucky. While Armax Arsenal Arena was both too expensive and too close to the bright areas of the station for me to move without a risk (not to mention that you need an official license to participate), but a smaller and a little janky arena was roughly a kilometer away from my sleeping place, close to the border of the ward.

Their advertisement looked quite well, especially their 'free-for-all time' where civilians were able to 'play around' with their guns without going competitive. And no need to register yourself or your weapons. Music in my ears.

And it was great. Randomly generated maps, the people got randomly mixed up to teams of five and had to survive for as long as possible, with every next wave harder than the one before. It was fun. And an extremely tough challenge.

The lowest two settings the simulator offered were barely more than a shooting range and, as a fellow human named it so nicely, 'like shooting fish in a barrel'. Tier 3 forced you to take cover, Tier 4 felt like and required reflexes like a real firefight - at least to my mind - and in Tier 5, just staying alive was a challenge, even if the team worked together nicely, which was not always the case.

The fucking arena offered nine settings, number nine adequately named 'Deathwish'.

The amount of beating I received made painfully clear what I lacked. It started with experience, went on with things like stamina and a cool mind, my aim was not the best and in some situations, I also wasn't quite fast enough to quickly change my cover.

My equipment proved to be lackluster as well. The ballistic vest, while light and allowing for good mobility was no match for a shotgun. Once, one of the holographic enemies got close enough to get a full blast of its weapon straight in my chest. The impact threw me on my back, I hit my head on the ground and I realized that in a real fight, I would have died from that blast without any chance.

My nearsightedness was an obstacle, too. The reserve glasses I always carried with me allowed me to be not too carefully during the firefight, but without them, I would've been almost helpless. My hopes were on getting a medical treatment as soon as I could get out of hiding, hopefully with my favorite doctor who, currently, was probably busy packing her things for the _NORMANDY._

Two things I think I did well were the peeking in and out of my cover to check the battlefield - I never really got surprised by enemy movement - and laying down suppressive fire to force some of these simulations to keep their heads down.

Still… it was everything but easy. Every day I did my best to keep going, but there was more than one moment where I was close to giving up. When another wave of hostiles took advantage of my numerous mistakes and gunned me down, or if I got downed because I couldn't move my sore muscles fast enough to cover I absolutely felt like giving up, going home and spending the rest of the day in bed.

But every time I was so close to defeat, I remembered myself that the prize was literally living a dream.… and that failure was very likely to be my death sentence. So, I always stumbled back on my feet, took the rifle in my hurting hands and forced myself to continue.

And, even though I didn't quite feel it that well, I improved.

After three days, I had managed to be a valuable asset for Tier-5-teams. I learned some neat tricks by spectating the higher-level players – mostly C-SEC guys on breaks and what appeared to be military personnel on shore leave - and copied stuff like quick combat rolls to change positions, or the correct movements to quickly change weapons. Two of the stronger fighters – young human and turian C-SEC recruits – were even nice enough to show me good combat stances for pistol and assault rifle shooting, and ways of steadying a sniper rifle. I became calmer as time progressed and by that increased my precision, but still I needed too much time for lining up a scoped shot.

But overall, after that week of practice I felt like I was not a complete rookie , I was able to hold my own in a Tier-6-setting. A promising sign.

One of these days, I went to Drussus armory for the third time and added some other useful items to my gear. It was quite impressive, the sheer variety of items he had up for sale. For example, a black human-style balaclava which covered my whole face save for a stripe at my eyes. It was made from a material I didn't recognize but felt surprisingly nice on my skin. I'm not very fond of helmets, but happened to know that there would be some areas where I should cover my head. For example, the bleakness on Noveria. And of course, the ability to conceal my identity could come in very handy as well.

To protect my eyes, I added some glasses (labeled 'combat glasses', but looking suspiciously like ski goggles). I made sure that they were large enough to allow me to carry my regular glasses beneath them.

Also, a dangerous looking bayonet knife with a very sharp seven-inch-blade made from a dark metal, complete with a fitting black thigh holster.

I bought all three items. Admittedly, mostly for the optics. You know, the whole 'guns are for show, knives are for pro' thing. Of course, I suffered a severe case of vanity, but still had an excellent excuse for such a behaviour – to be precise, a very bouncy and quarian excuse who wore her knife in a leg holster at all times. If whoever designed Tali thought it a good idea to spice up her look by adding a knife she never uses (save for a single scene you only get when you have failed before), why wouldn't I be allowed to do the same?

Also, I definitely felt better carrying a real steel-bladed knife with me, rather than just a blade of orange light, even if that cut through everything. Feel free to call me hypocritical, if you wish.

And in reaction to my first experiences in the simulator, I upgraded my armor with fingerless gloves of a light plastic-like material and a set of equally light armored splints for all of my limbs plus knee pads. The reason I decided to wear gloves was that I had managed to burn my hand on a heatsink. Lucky for me, it was not overheated, but I still felt like a complete idiot. The splints for thighs, shanks and arms were basically thin ceramic plates, a little heavier than the plastic but with better durability.

I had no illusions about the protection they offered though – they didn't even cover everything – but at least it was, well, _something_. Plus, they were easily concealable under my clothing with no real downside, so why not. As for the knee pads… I am a little ashamed to admit it, but I just forgot about them during my first shopping tour. The reality of the simulations – pun intended – and really sore knees after some of the rounds put me right, though. The pads were too thick to be concealable under my jeans, but hey. I put every item to the test and was very satisfied – the damage I took was reduced by a noticeable amount, which added a lot to the overall feeling of 'progress' I had. Maybe, just maybe, thinking that I could make for a useful squad member was not as arrogant as I had thought - that, in hindsight, was pure hubris.

But at least I was able to look now into my bathroom mirror and looked - to my eyes - like an acceptable fighter. The mixture of 21s century everyday clothing and 22nd century ultra light armor mixed together made me appear like a member of a militia, or an insurgent. One way or another, like someone who meant business. No idea what kind of business, but still.

* * *

Whenever I wasn't practicing in the simulator, I was either in my hotel room either resting for my next field trip and/or doing additional research into a logical and hard to prove or disprove background story. I had come up with a decent foundation - basically, something around me growing up on Earth, being isolated from the reality of the universe for some time and then fleeing my home to the Citadel to do become a mercenary.

It wasn't a perfect story, and it is likely that some people will see through some parts of the disguise… but that was also part of the plan. Admitting that the name I went by was fake and also pointing out that I left every part of my old life behind by taking up a new identity only makes me more believable, and staying flexible regarding the background would allow me to adapt as needed. At least, that was what I hoped for. Only the live test would tell if I would be able to deceive my surroundings... okay, that definitely sounded better in my head.

In the time I had left, I was wandering around in the Wards – all five of them. It was still hard to actually believe that I was really here, and I always had a hard time looking away from the aliens. The asari in particular, but... that's another story.

It wasn't all about simply satisfying my curiosity, though. I visited the important places of Mass Effect 1 – Chora's Den, the lower markets, the alleyway where Tali would be getting double-crossed by Fist. I thought about visiting Dr. Michel's clinic to fix my eye problems, but I remembered in time that there was a sort-of-prequel to Mass Effect called Homeworlds … and that I better do not interfere in a story I do not know. Especially given the chance that I could meet Tali too soon, which had the potential to have all sorts of bad and, moreover, uncontrollable consequences.

Until now, I had been in a state of 'accepting disbelief'. I had - more or less - accepted that I was on the Citadel, that I was in another, in the Mass Effect universe. By its own right a difficult thing to grasp. But walking around the places Commander Shepard will walk in during ME1 and seeing the sites from my own perspective hammered the whole truth into my brain. That stupid video game was now reality. And I was now a part of it, for better or for worse.

I even went so far to try my luck at the Flux' Quasar machines. When you play it clever, you will usually win more credits than you lose – I had 'farmed' them ingame more than enough times. After some try-and-error, I remembered the trick and came up with an enormous winning streak. I ended up round about two thousand credits richer... and on the receiving end of some extremely resentful glares from the volus owner. I am sure of it, even though I couldn't see his face behind the envirosuit. What was his name again...? It didn't matter. He couldn't prove that I was cheating, and technically, I wasn't. Even when he stood directly behind me, he didn't find any evidence. So, I sat at his bar, smiled at him a bit lowly and casually sipped my favorite Jack &amp; Coke, while he huffed off to tend to his own business.

The most interesting and important part of all these trips was taking a good look at the place where the ambush on Tali was going to happen. I had made the decision that that place would be the one that would mark my entrance into the trilogy. The point of no return on whether or not I would be allowed to join Shepard on her epic journey. I scoured my mind to remember where the enemies will most likely stand, and played some possible scenarios in my head. If the events in the game were the same as the events here, then Tali would survive the encounter anyway – but I had to prove myself as useful, so careful planning was of vital importance.

The, let me call it 'level design' was simple enough. One way, lots of crates to hide behind, the perfect place to counter-ambush Fists goons. If Shepard arrived on the scene just as she was supposed to, then this whole encounter was going to be over in a few seconds. If not… well, after all that practising I estimated myself to be at the same level as these lowly guns-for-hire. With Tali on my side, winning the resulting firefight was definitely possible.

Even more so, that, sarcastically spoken, I had unlocked my first 'ability' as a 'squadmate'. By chance, admittedly, but still.

* * *

I was looking around the crates for the perfect place to lie in wait when I smelled something familiar. An aggressive scent of... _gasoline?_ No. Similar, but not quite.

A little bit of sniffing around later, I had found the source: One of the crates had been cracked open. Inside, there were among a few junk items, three or four canisters - the smell turned suffocating, and had to hold my breath. Driven by curiosity, I carefully pulled one of the canisters out and unscrewed the cap. A bit of the liquid spilled over and splashed on the ground, forming a small puddle at my feet. And that fluid shimmered suspiciously colorful in the dimmed light of the alley…

As I should learn later, that liquid was some sort of an hydraulic oil, used in many clubs' electricity generators as most of the businesses in the lower wards had to produce their own energy and no access to the surface's array of solar power plants. And Element zero was expensive, so adding this type of oil as a current-carrier served to increased an Eezo-generators efficiency. That's at least how far I understood it. These oils were relatively cheap, but they had one significant weakness...

A thought came to my mind. I took an empty water bottle and transferred a bit of liquid into it. To minimize the danger I was suspecting, I put some meters between myself and the cloud of gas by walking to the other end of the alleyway. There I emptied the bottle on the floor and lit up one of my cigarettes (I had found out that smoking was not forbidden in the lower wards). I took a few drags to stoke up the blaze, made it sure as hell that nobody was watching me - and then from a safe distance threw the cig into the puddle.

It went up like a bonfire, flames rising high and burning aggressively. I could feel through my boots how the metal ground heated up, even though I was five meters away.

I stared into the flames with a ghost of a smile on my lips.

I made a detour back to Choras Den and took another five bottles from the dust bins outside that place. Once I was back in the alley, I took one of the bottles and threw it from five meters distance on one of the crates. It splintered quite well.

So, grinning like a lunatic, I took the remaining five bottles, filled them up to the brim and thanked whatever deity had sent the fuel for my makeshift Molotov cocktails. I now only needed some sort of rugs to light them up, and those were laying around, especially in the darker areas of the Wards. _ Some guys are in for a surprise_, I summed it up and stowed the cocktails in my backpack, hoping that on my way back no one would smell anything suspicious. Nobody did, and the bottles proved waterproof.

* * *

As I said, I spent overall eight days like this - using every minute I was awake to either improve my combat skills, on getting used to the simple feeling of being around aliens, on making excursions around the Citadel and reading up as much background and stuff as I could.

Everything changed on the ninth day. I woke up and showered as always, and then I activated my omnitool for the daily news. I froze dead in my tracks. The headlines of my news app sprang in my eyes.

_"DEVASTATING GETH ATTACK ON EDEN PRIME"_

"_BLOODY ATTACK ON HUMAN COLONY SHAKES UP COUNCIL SPACE"_

"_REPORTS OF ATTACK ON HUMAN COLONY OF EDEN PRIME; ALLIANCE OFFICIALS UNWILLING TO COMMENT"_

I couldn't help it – I had to grin. A wave of euphoria rushed through me.

The time for waiting was over. History had been set in motion, and I felt hyped up and ready to leave my mark in this story.

_Let's go then, shall we?_

* * *

**_Addendum, June 2017: _**_Largely reworked in June 2017 to improve everything from style, to logic, to grammar. Please, let me know what you think!_

* * *

_**Original A/N, April 2015: **__Hi folks! Thank you for the favs, follows and reviews! Honestly, I didn't think that the prologue(!) would get such_

_attention. That keeps the writing morale up! :D_

_I originally planned to release this one in two or three weeks, b ut I thought – why the hell not? But don't expect me to_

_always b e that fast... I want to have some chapters in reserve in case I can't wirte as much as I would like._

_Anyway, if you happen to find any errors – spelling, grammar or lore-wise – please write me a review so I can check that._

_Thank you, and 'til next time!_


	3. Two - Citadel: The Quarian

"_**Ein Anfang ist kein Meisterstück, doch guter Anfang halbes Glück."**_

_(A beginning is no feat, but a good beginning is half the success.)_ \- _Anton Alexander Graf von Auersperg_

* * *

**Chapter 2 - Citadel: The Quarian  
**

Six hours later, I was leaning on a wall close to Chora's Den and waited for the inevitable.

The 'breaking news' that I had read had been published roughly nine hours before I woke up, and I was still tempted to kick myself in the balls for not checking the media prior to going to bed. There was nothing I was able to do about it now, though, so instead I had chosen to instead act as swiftly as I could.

I estimated one hour for the information to reach the newswriters after the begin of the assault, as every radio transmission from Eden Prime had been cut by _SOVEREIGN _while it was there. The _NORMANDY _had been the first ship to receive the emergency broadcast and when my memory served me correctly, had been only 15 minutes away from Eden Prime, so no noticeable further delay there. The mission on Eden Prime itself had likely cost another hour, depending on the duration of the train ride. Then Commander Shepard was supposed to be out cold for an additional 15 hours after the Beacon debacle.

So, according to my rusty calculation skills, counting from my wake-up call, I had roughly six hours left to get ready for Shepard's arrival on the Citadel - and that was the reason why I was now hanging around the shadows at Chora's Den 'fast travel point', also known as Citadel Transit, chain-smoking.

Nothing was going to happen that soon. Additionally, maybe another one or two hours had to be added to the clock for Shepard's Council meeting, for recruiting Garrus and Wrex and for the investigation into the strip club. So I had been in no real hurry, but decided to move close to the points of interest as soon as possible regardless. Fucking everything up because I had miscalculated the time would've been the singular most stupid mistake in my entire life.

After showering, brushing my teeth, eating breakfast and ordinary stuff like that I rested for an additional four hours - I didn't want to be too tired for the challenges ahead, but I hadn't closed my eyes and looked on the watch every few minutes or so.

Then I had gone to Marson, had thanked him for his hospitality and checked out – not without leaving a nice tip. Well, why the hell not? As Roman had said before, the hotel was a decent standard. Cheap, but decent. The only real negative was a catastrophic lack of coffee machines.

Once out of the hotel, I had caught up with what I had forgotten the days prior - I got rid of a few of my most useless or incriminating items, stowing them in various hiding spots around the wards, but not without making sure that they could not be traced back to me if found, particularly my cellphone which would've been impossible to explain. I left them behind with a heavy heart. After all, I gave up some of my very few links to my old life. I held on to most of it, though, like my old clothes that I had tied up to a bundle and attached to my bag. To blend more into the crowd, I had donned the colonist clothing - with the exception of the wristbands and that ridiculous mini-jacket, which I had replaced with my old jacket. In essence, I was clad in all black, including my armor below the jacket.

And now, I was getting mentally prepared for Fists hitmen.

I had chosen that particular scene to 'introduce' myself for various good reasons. It was on the Citadel, there were few enemies to expect, I knew Shepard had to get there and was able to roughly guess when, I had a good chance to make a positive impression of some important people and finding a good explanation for my interference was supposedly easy as well.  
That was the plan, at least.

I just hoped that everyone's favorite quarian wouldn't believe me to be the one who wanted to harm her. And hopefully, I could avoid any friendly fire incidents once Shepard arrived. She and her squad might thought that I was one of Fists goons. I doubted that I was going to live long enough to prove them wrong in that case...

* * *

Even with my all-black clothing and in the shadows of the lower wards, I was far from being actually invisible, but still no one of the numerous passersby really took notice of me. I was just another stranger in the crowd, practically hidden in plain sight.

I watched the patronage going in and leaving the area in front of the strip club for roughly a quarter of an hour. Then I looked down at my hands. They were shaking violently.

I had fully realized by now that I was about to enter my first real firefight in only a few hours time. No quicksaves. No restarting and using your knowledge to finally beat that Geth Colossus after your fifth try. You get killed, you're done for good.

And seeing how I had exactly zero "real" experience, it was highly unlikely that I would get out of there unharmed.

Unfortunately, the other option was to hide myself for as long as possible before, inevitably, getting caught and interrogated - plus a life full of regrets. So, this was the true point of no return. I lit up yet another cigarette and thought everything over, again and again.

Once I was done with my cig, I decided to move. One can only lean against the same wall for so long before it gets on your nerves. Patience had never really been a virtue of mine, and I still had around an hour left for sure - it maybe was a cynical line of thought, but I would without any doubt hear gunfire when Shepard was close. I would have to remain in the area, though, just in case.

Trusting that everything would work out just like in the games, and putting too much trust in my own calculations was too risky of a gamble.

I resisted the temptation of having a drink at Chora's Den. As Kaidan had phrased it, the club did indeed have "some nice views" _(*cough*)_, but the last thing I needed right now was to be distracted by some asari maidens dancing their... admittedly, _very nice_ behinds off.

Plus, staying out of sight of some of the guys inside Choras Den was important to keep control over my cover story. I decided to instead spend some time in the Upper Markets - contrary to what the game makes one believe, the area was quite crowded. And my clothes allowed me to blend in _nicely._

I positioned myself at the large windows granting a clear look at outer space and posed as someone taking a break, but kept my eyes on the people passing by. A thought struck me out of nowhere and I grinned, albeit coldly and melancholic. If just any one of them had known, what fate had in store for this station...

Another ten minutes pass without anything really happening - with one minor exception.

Though many Asari prefered to wear these sort-of formal dresses we all love (or hate) from the video games, actually the vast majority was clothed in what I would describe as 'casual attire'. Finally and under circumstances I even today still consider outright mind-blowing, I was able to call out BioWare for only offering a limited taste of the Mass Effect reality.

And then, a group of seemingly younger Asari walked by, all of them centered around what appeared to be their 'pack leader'. Her violet skin tone even made the Queen of Omega look pale, and her outfit for some reason _screamed_ 'gang leader' to me. It looked somewhat like a human style - black stockings, black and tight short jeans, white shirt, and most notably a vest in the exact same color as her skin. She definitely had all (male) eyes on her. If my own eyes didn't deceive me, in addition, she also got some _very_ jealous, and worrisome, looks from a couple of dress-wearing 'standard' asari. Something about that whole group just smelled 'trouble'. And the 'alpha-girl' seemed to be very aware of her reputation and her effect on the people around her... if the smug grin on her lips was anything to go by.

"And here Liara claims that asari are not female… technically", I quietly mused, shaking my head and distancing myself a few extra steps from the spotlight. My guess was that the asari was in some way associated to someone powerful, and that was more enough of a reason to no risk any confrontation.

This in a sarcastic way amusing little scene aside, Real Life being by far more colourful made it far easier for me to avoid trouble. Especially since my fellow humans, much as I had anticipated, came - literally - in all colours and tastes. I remembered a quote from Samara. 'Put three humans in a room, there will be six opinions.' And in a time where there was seemingly no dominant fashion style, I could definitely see why aliens would be in wonder about human diversity. It actually made me a little proud.

The only one so far who gave me a suspicious look was the one batarian that I saw – and I was quite sure that the only reason for this was the deep hatred between batarians and humans. To be fair, his disdain for me matched my own dislike. We made eye contact, stared at another for a few seconds, then he walked away with a snort. I briefly closed my eyes, idly wondering if 'Bring down the Sky' would be part of all this as well.

I let my gaze wander around the area. The market did not only look exactly like in Mass Effect 1 (with better graphics, of course), but also kind of really boring. Grey, aliens, grey, supply crates and, ah well, _grey. _

The only really interesting bit was the large window front - only few meters separated the vibrant city from the cold black void. The _DESTINY ASCENSION_ flew, or should I rather say, drifted by a few times, concealing the view on the system's sun. This breathtaking view never ceased to fascinate me… and scare me. Just a little.

And then, all of a sudden, I saw something in the windows' reflecting glass which made me turn around on my heels in an instant.

A scarred krogan in a red armor walked past. A shade of crimson which exactly matched the color of his headplate. His presence was intimidating, even oppressive. I saw most of the people looking into his direction with distressed or even scared expressions.

Like the Asari before, he dominated the area - but where she had done it by charme and glamour, he did it by an aura of authority, of physical supremacy. He didn't demand _attention_, he demanded _submission_.

Even the few other Krogan standing and walking around seemed to have high respect for this warrior, they went out of his way without even hesitating.

My pulse went sky-high in an instant.

_Urdnot Wrex._

No doubt possible.

He looked grim; even grimmer than I remembered him from the games. The scars ran deeper than I thought, and in his eyes glimmered a fire the other krogan lacked. Without even as much as looking around, he made his way to the Lower Market and descended the staircase.

He had only been here for maybe half a minute, but his disappearance left a lot of relaxing people behind him – and a young human who did not relax in the slightest, but instead felt an imagined rope tighten around his neck.

I leaned back, supported my body on the handrail. I had guessed that Wrex would come this way – there were not many different routes leading to his target, to Fist.

Still, meeting my first my in-game character in reality… Saying that he made an _impression_ would be quite an understatement. Especially considering that it was not some forgettable quest-giving NPC. That was _Wrex,_ for hell's sake.

I tentatively glanced on my watch. About half an hour left. Shepard should be on the Citadel now, on her way to the Council chambers. I needed some alcohol. And I hoped that I had made no mistake in letting Wrex go. Because if things were not going according to the game, then I would be, truly and beyond any doubt, _screwed._

* * *

I had chosen a relatively small bar, the 'Mannovian Star', not far away. When you leave Chora's Den, just follow the way and after thirty meters take a turn to the left. The senseless obstacles that kept me from leaving the area in Mass Effect weren't existing here, just as the entire district was far more crowded.

'Relatively small', to my understanding, was a counter roughly the size of the bar in the SR-2 plus five small tables - what you would call a typical corner pub. The salarian barkeeper poured me a glass of Jack and Coke, and while I sipped that I kept both eyes pinned at the holographic TV-screen at the backside of the room.

Fortune was smiling on me, sort of. Currently, broadcasted live from the Presidium Tower, the first in-game Council meeting was on said display.

It had been a few years - double-meaning intended - since I had last played the first part of Mass Effect. I had forgotten how rage-inducing Sarens haughty tone was. Hearing him deny his presence on Eden Prime in such a manner made me clench my teeth, and my fist around my drink.

I saw close-ups of a very frustrated Ambassador Donnel "Douchebag" Udina, Captain Anderson who appeared calm, collected and ready to strangle his old enemy through his hologram and… Commander Jane Shepard, accompanied by Lt. Alenko and Sergeant – no, _Gunnery Chief_ \- Williams.

Seeing the Commander somewhat counteracted my attempts at putting my mind at ease, but at least changed my mood from 'You'll puke soon' to 'Wtf is this…?'.

Just as her name 'Jane' suggested, she essentially _was _the default f!Shep, although surprisingly more resembling her model from Mass Effect 3 – but better. I figured the superior 324 megapixels resolution would do that to people.

Shepard and Kaiden were still wearing their basic Onyx-Armor, the Commander's sporting the famous N7 logo with the red-white stripe. Ashley, on the other hand, had to endure that ugly white-pink Phoenix pattern. It had never been a topic the games, as far as I could recall… yet still, I was ready to bet whatever sum that whoever had given that woman her armor, had chosen this disgusting colour scheme _deliberately. _Either because she was still General William's granddaughter - or just because she was Ashley Williams. After all, I had a certain dislike against her as well. I didn't flat out hate her - I had spent enough time around her in multiple playthroughs that I could kinda see where she was coming from - but her attitude rubbed me the wrong way regardless.

But that Phoenix pattern… Seriously, who had the audacity to design such an armor, and then the luck to get away with it?

_"Do you have anything else to add, Commander Shepard?"_

Councilor Valern's last question to Shep stopped my mind from wandering off any further. I shook my head, once more amazed at the way my brain worked sometimes, then refocused on the last act of that little farce.

I had to give the Commander credits for her composure. She looked extremely pissed, but she kept her cool. Almost.

_"You made your decision. I won't waste my breath."_

The asari, Councilor Tevos tilted her head to her turian counterpart who only shook his head in response.

_Why hello, Sparatus! _Udina may be bad, Saren may be the enemy in this part, and still that one man managed to be the worst thing in the entire game. At least for me. Seeing his face made my day even worse.

_"The council has found no evidence of a connection between Saren and the Geth,"_ Tevos said. _"Ambassador Udina, we decline your request for further investigation."_

_"Good. Justice has been served."_, Saren added, gloating as scornful as we all know him.

I had heard it a million times before. I should've been used to it. But still, my impulsive nature took control of me. I nearly crushed my glass in an iron grip, my blood almost boiled over.

"We'll see about that... _wanker_", I said softly, trying - and failing - to not let anyone notice my anger.

_"This meeting is adjourned."_

And with these final words, the transmission from inside the Tower ended. A Salarian and an Asari in a TV studio replaced it, no doubt waiting to give their own comment. Before it could come to that, however, the barkeeper lowered the volume - then sniffed in a way only salarians can.

"I guess your pompous ass of an Ambassador has finally gone too far," he said in my direction and began to polish the glasses on the counter. "Accusing a SPECTRE of attacking a colony? And Saren, of all people? _*Sniff*_ Ridiculous."

Some turians who sat in the back of the bar murmured in agreement. Some shot me hostile glances. I took another deep sip to both cool down and give me the time to think of a good reply. It's unsettling to get spoken to in that way – especially since I was the only human in that bar, and starting a fight a few minutes before one of the most important decisions of my life was not a good idea.

I finally settled for a diplomatic answer. "Udina's a douchebag, no argument. But I wouldn't be too biased if I were you – before Eden Prime people also swore that the Geth would never leave the Veil."

"You have a point, human. But Saren? He's the most famous and successful SPECTRE the turians had in the last 300 years. He wouldn't do that, even if he hates you humans as much as you claim. I say, tomorrow Udina will crawl to the Council and try and smoothen things out._*Sniff*_ If he has the guts to do so."

"What about Commander Shepard?" Suddenly, I heard a female voice from behind me. I turned around, stunned. A cyan-colored asari with what looked like a cocktail was sitting at the table closest to the wall. "She was on the human colony, wasn't she?"

The salarian and every turian in the room looked at her, in various stages of disbelief and/or disgust. An older turian with fading facial markings spoke up, his voice laden with condescension. "Do you really believe what a human has to say about an attack on a human colony? Those upstarts cannot to be trusted."

I narrowed my eyes, and so did the asari. "I'll rather believe the Lioness of Elysium, the one human who has done more damage to these _damned slavers_ on one single day, than most of the Hierarchy's soldiers in their whole lives - and not the most famous SPECTRE," she responded, "Famous for butchering hundreds of innocents whose only mistakes were to get in his way."

That statement was spoken which such a challenging voice that the air seemed to both heat up and freeze at the same time. The turian was left speechless. The look on his face was so hilarious that I couldn't hold back a short burst of laughter.

"Thank you, ma'am!" I raised my glass in her direction, feeling grateful to my only ally in this room. "Your next drink is on me."

She blushed ever so slightly and averted her eyes - a curious contrast to the perky response from before. "I was serious.", she said, a little defensive. "Thank you for your offer, but I have to decline – I am expected back in less than ten minutes."

"You don't get it", the old turian interrupted us. The alcohol in his system made him a little unsteady, but his gaze was sharp and showed awareness. "A turian soldier would never even think about betraying his superiors! Especially Saren! He is one of our best! " He leaned back and flared his mandibles, then cast me a somewhat angry and arrogant look. "And you upstarts want to ruin his name to have someone to point your finger at, nothing else – because you are too weak to defend you own worlds!"

I tried to keep a neutral face, but felt an increasing urge to shave his non-existent beard with my combat knife. But then I remembered that time actually worked for me… and, feeling restless and overconfident (no doubt thanks to my own drink), I answered with both an impertinent smile and voice. _This oughta be fun._

"How 'bout a 'lil bet, then? If your precious Spectre S.O.B."- He flinched ever so slightly, so I guess he knew what that abbreviation meant - "really is as innocent as he claims, I'll buy your next drink, too." I turned to the salarian who looked quite baffled. "Here is a chit with fifty credits" – I put it on the counter – "and you" – I gazed back at the turian – "are free to buy drinks with these credits… if either Udina takes his accusations back or 72 hours pass without anything happening."

The old turian flared his mandibles once more, looking set to accept the challenge - or rather, any challenge I would throw at him."And I", he added, "will give Easum fifty creds on my own, and you are free to use them how you deem fit …. If Saren is really to be blamed for that whole affair. But" he laughed, which sent a chill down my spine, "He isn't, and in three days I will have a toast in your honor, _human._"

"Alright, we'll see", I smiled, admittedly in a very cocky manner, and emptied my glass with one large swing. "Until then... goodbye."

I stood up, felt the usual bit of swaying around, left the bar and tried my best to ignore the stares in my back. I wasn't entirely sure if it was a good idea to challenge a stranger like that, but... _ah, fuck that._ The time for hiding was over, one way, or another.

I checked my watch and – having reached the point where I didn't give a damn anymore - pulled a cigarette from the package. The whiskey felt warm in my stomach, and the first few lines of Motörhead's 'Ace Of Spades' were repeating themselves over and over again in my head...

And then, suddenly, I noticed movement behind me and spun around. The asari from before was there. I turned my face in her direction and gave her a small smile. Now that I saw her from close up... somehow, I knew her. At least I recognized the black spots on her crest and the light violet eye shadow. _But where the hell…?_

"I know that you were serious", I spoke up, "and I thank you for that. I doubt that many other people would speak in such a manner about and for humans." I bowed slightly, awaiting her response.

It came with a smile. "You seem to be quite confident in your fellow humans", she said, her hands folded in front of her belly. "May I ask why?"

"I hate Udina", I bluntly answered. "I really do. But despite the many things he is and might be - he is _not_ completely stupid. He wouldn't go to the Council and blame their arguably best SPECTRE just for fun."

I lit up my cig and used the time I took the first drag to consider my next words. "As for the others: Captain Anderson and Commander Shepard are heroes, maybe even paragons for Humanity. And when both the Lionness of Elysium and the most decorated N7 soldier in the Alliance' history have something to say, it is worth listening."

"I agree", she said, and for a brief moment, her smile widened. "Unfortunately I really have to return to my duties, but it was a pleasure to meet you, Mister…?"

"Raven," I answered and reached out my hand which she took after a brief moment of hesitation. "Jess Raven. And you are…?"

"My name is Saphyria T'Maris", she answers, and bowed politely. _Click_. _The receptionist at the embassies!_

"Well, it was nice to meet you, too, Miss T'Maris." I smile and hoped that she didn't notice my surprise. "But I don't want to keep you from your duties. Goodbye!"

And with a final "Goodbye" she turned around and left. I watched her going, but I didn't really see her. I inhaled some smoke. Before my inner eye, I saw a scene from Mass Effect 2.

Illium. An asari in a white lab coat looking out of a window. She cries.

_"My daughters died on the Citadel when the Geth attacked. One worked in the Embassy. The other was a greeter for the Consort."_

The tobacco's taste turned to ash.

* * *

I return to my watch-post in the Upper Wards, still lost in thought but with the alcohol loosing its effect. Close to Dr. Michels clinic, I focused back on my surreal reality and prepared for some more idle time. Luckily however, it didn't take too long until the most important character appeared on the stage. Quite literally.

That time it wasn't just a holographic image, but the real deal. And damn, _what a deal._

She rose up the stairs from C-SEC Academy. The medium-lengthy red hair, shimmering in the artificial light. A little bit messily, but not much. An almost white face _(What was it called? Spacer tan?)_, dotted with freckles. Full red lips. But most impressively... the eyes. Emerald green and overcharged with energy.

_Wow._

Thinking back from the distance of a few years, the amount of fanboyism that overcame me in this moment is almost ridiculios. After all, I had known that this moment would eventually come – but I had absulutely not expected to be that _awestruck_. I had thought... well, honestly I don't know what exactly I had thought. Maybe I had guessed that there would be a little moment of fanboyism – after all, she is the legendary _Commander Shepard_. But _this?_

She seems to take in and control the whole area with one single glance. She did not, however, seem to take real interest in any of the other people in this part of the wards – inclusing myself. For her, I probably looked like a normal passer-by taking a short break and being busy with my own life. That worked for me – if she couldn't remember seeing me early, I'd have less explaining to do. It did help quite a lot that the Upper Ward was much more populated than in the game, maybe five times as many people of all races. I blended in.

Shepard briefly spoke to Kaidan and Ashley – who I noticed only then – and then the three of them walked over to the market counters, passing by only five meters from me.

I leaned back against the handrail and release the breath I hand't noticed I was holding. _Damned. This should get interesting._

I followed them but kept my distance. Again, not too difficult as long as I moved with the flow of people. There was only a small chance of me loosing them – the civilians were smart enough to give the three armed soldiers some space. Plus, I knew where they were heading, and Shepard didn't waste any time with strolling around.

I stepped on the stairs leading to the Lower Wards a minute or so after Shepard (while both she and I noticed and ignored the fact that _Conrad Verner_ stood at the top of them) and saw them rounding the corner leading to Chora's Den.

Just a few moments later, gunfire erupted in the distance. _Two incompetent rookie hitmen less in the wold. _I decided to stay away from the trouble, turned around and turned to move up again – when three heavily armed turian C-SEC agents rushed past me down the stairs.

Well, it wasn't really surprising that in real life, the rapid response forces of C-SEC would investigate gunfire in their territory. After all, they were the Citadel's police and had a job to do.

As had I.

Knowing that it was about time for me to step up, I vanished in one of the many dark corners to ready up. I checked my concealed armor for the last time, then firmly pressed the shield generator's on-switch. For a second I was embedded in blue light, then the barrier was stable and I put my jacket back on. The kneepads were drawn from my backback, put on and fastened.

I grabbed my pistol and the knife with their respective holsters and strapped them to my tighs. The rest of the guns were still stowed inside the backpack – I didn't necessarily want to run around with an assault rifle in my hands. But it would only take a few seconds for me to take them out if necessary.

Finally, I took a single molotov cocktail, put it into my jacket and then looked everything over once more, for good measure, slapping twice on my armored chest.

Taking a deep breath to calm my flattering nerves, I walked back into the upper market and the crowds, and watched Dr. Michel's clinic from a safe distance. Shepard was back soon enough, and she and her team walked inside.

I waited.

A few minutes, a few bullets fired and a few civilians running away in panic later, and Shepard left again – with Kaidan Alenko, Ashley Williams and a very specific turian in tow. I hadn't really believed that Shep would not take him into her team, but it was still a bit of relief.

So Garrus was now in for the ride.

And they were heading to the C-SEC Academy, so I considered it a given that Wrex would join in, too.

And, just for the record, two more C-SEC guys appeared, briefly spoke with Garrus and Shepard and entered the clinic. They carried some obviously inconspicious bags with them, and I shook my head.

_It's official,_ I heard the voice of cynicism in my mind, _wherever Shepard steps, the officials always hold some body bags ready for use._

I mentally swatted the voice away and made my way back to Chora's Den where I once again used the shadows to lay in wait.

I watched as Fist's mobsters sent all patrons and even their strippers out, and not very gently.

They didn't fire a shot, but the weapons they carried had a quite... _convincing _effect on the crowd. The patronage and ladies hastily made their exit until the street was empty again. I briefly wondered if half-naked women would even stand out in this area, but that was _definitely not_ the time to think about it.

Only a few minutes later, Shepard and her now four allies arrived for the next act in this little drama. They seem to smell the trouble, spread out and took cover to both sides of the club's entrance. Shepard briefly stepped into the motion sensors, and the door had not even fully opened when a hail of bullets impacted into the floor behind the team. I heard how the Commander shouted a few short orders, then she and her squad stormed the Den, all the while returning fire.

That was my clue. Nobody saw me when I gave up my cover of trashbins, crossed the street and ran over to the alleyway. I entered, charged up the stairs and then carefully aproached to look down to the lower area.

* * *

A lone person stood there, looking in the opposite direction. She wore a black and violet suit which covered her whole body, had a knife in a holster at her left leg and a shotgun stowed on her. I watch her for a brief moment, shook off my anxiety and took one last deep breath.

_All or nothing. Here we go._

"Miss?", I adressed the young quarian pilgrim.

She spun around in an instant and turned her face to me. It was covered by an oh-so-familar violet mask which concealed every feature – save for two shining bright spots which I knew to be her eyes.

"A human? You aren't Fist" she responded, showing signs of surprise in her voice. A light shudder crawled down my spine. "I was told to expect Fist, a turian, salarians and the Shadow Broker!" Her body language was hard to read but her tone suggested a rising panic.

"Miss, I am _not_ working for either the Broker or Fist", I replied and slowly closing the distance, all the while keeping my hands visible and away from my gun. Still, with one swift motion, Tali drew her shotgun and pointed the barrel at me.

"Don't come closer! What do you want?!" _Fuck_. Trying to maintain my calm, I slowly rose my hands above my head and prayed that this mess would not escalate any further. "Let me explain, please."

"Who sent you?! Saren?!" Her voice is high-pitched now. _Damned, not good! _

"I _don't_ want to hurt you. I am _no_t working for Saren. I'm on _your_ side. I wanna _help_ you."

How I managed to keep my voice calm, I don't know. All I knew was that showing any signs of nervosity would cause Tali to open fire.

She seemed to relax ever so slightly at my slowly spoken statement, but kept her gun up.

Before she was able to ask anything, I continued as calmly as I could manage, trying to swing the situation in my favor.

"Look, Miss, I don't know what kind of business you and Fist have, but I know that he's not going to play fair. A few minutes ago, I heard him talking to his men... he said that they should 'take the data from the quarian... and deal with her.' Saren would want it that way."

She flinchee and the gun in her hand hands shivered ever so slightly.

"But... the Shadow Broker..."

"The Shadow Broker never involves himself into such deals personally. He always and only works with his agents. Nobody knows who he or she really is."

I tried to remain as reasonable as possible. The image of the original Shadow Broker, the yahg from the Lair DLC, proved difficult to shake off, but I couldn't allow memories to affect this moment. _Later._

"He would've sent only Fist or Barla Von to negotiate with you, and not a full squad."

Even from a distance, I could almost _see_ how the gears worked inside that helmet, and when they stopped a decision had been made.

"I knew I couldn't trust Fist," Tali suddenly burst out, "but why do you know all that? Why should I believe _you_ any more?"

"I know about this stuff, because I've been involved with the underworld before – everyone involved there for some time would know."

That didn't exactly cuse her to relax, so I followed up with a 'Knowledge' wildcard.

"You're on your pilgrimage, right? You _cannot_ know."

That surprised her. More than I expected. "You know about the pilgrimage?" came the unbelieving question, and the shotgun barrel twitched away from me.

I would've tried to 'sweet talk' some more, under other conditions, but the imagined clock kept _tick-tick-tick_ing in the back of my head.

"You quarians are an interesting species, Miss, and I'd love to talk some more - but we're running out of time. They're going to be here soon." I gazed quickly to the stairs behind her. My anxienty wasn't faked the slightiest.

"As for the 'trust'... if I would work for Saren, I would've attacked you from behind when you idn't look - and I wouldn't have risked to talk to you before. I know, that's not a lot," I grimaced, "But I'm afraid I can't promise you any more right now. Listen, when will the deal happen?"

"In two minutes.", she answered, having regained her composure and carefully aiming at my chest once more.

"Dammit, no time to run away", I swore. Well, of course I had planned this detail; Changing a lot of things would be more trouble for me. I had to fight.

"Listen, I know someone who would be interested in the data, a Commander Shepard who investigates the attack on Eden Prime. This data could be the evidence she needs to expose Saren as the one responsible and she is in a position to offer you protection from him."

I seem to have have the young quarian surprised once more, and took my chance.

"I'll hide behind these crates," I lowered one hand and pointed at the one to the right, "and ambush these tossers when they're attacking you. And if I am the liar you might think I am," at this point I fully met her shiny gaze, "then it's all of you against me alone. Does that sound acceptable?"

"It does," Tali nodded and finally lowered her gun, which I took as a sign to lower my arms. The tension hadn't left her her body, though. "But be warned - if you try to betray me, I _will_ kill you." , she threatened.

"Fair enough." I gave her a tight-lipped smile, but felt not too comfortable in my skin. If someone you know as rather cute and naive, even lighthearted at times threatens to kill you, you should take that _very _serious.

"If you want me to attack them, just say 'The deal is off.'" Another nod, we were in agreement.

Knowing that we had only moments left, I dashed to cover. Tali returned to her former stance, but kept me in her field of view and a hand on her shotgun.

_This is it._

There was no time to get into the right state of mind. I threw my bag on the ground close to the wall, ducked behind that crate and pulled my pistol from its holster and activated it, breathing out as it unfolded and all the lamps flashed green.

In the same second, I heard the hard _clack-clack-clack_ of armored boots on the metal floor. Fists mobsters had arrived.

* * *

"Did you bring it?"

I hastily, but as quietly as I could, tucked the gun under my right shoulder, took a makeshift incendiary from my jacket and my trusted lighter from my pocket.

"Where's the Shadow Broker? Where is Fist?"

The lighters' faint click was lost under Tali's voice. The small flame set the cocktail's rug on fire. It burned almost silently.

"They'll be here. Where's the evidence?"

I didn't even have to look at the scene unfolding behin me. I remembered it in detail from my own playthroughs – including how the turian's greedy fingers tried to touch Tali's helmet.

And in the exact right moment, a slapping sound when she swatted his hand away.

"No way."

My left hand tightened its grip on my sidearm, the muscles in my right arm tensed.

"_The deal is off."_

_Strange_, was the thought that shot through my mind.I suddenly felt completely calm.

I turned around and left cover just in time to see one of the two armored salarians raising his pistol and Tali throwing her tech proximity grenade.

I, however, took two small steps forward and took aim at the turian leader. He noticed me the very second, but was too astonished to react swiftly enough. I threw my Molotov cocktail at the him with all the power I could bring. He had no chance to raise his pistol in time.

* * *

Shields offer great protection from modern Mass Effect weaponry. To sum all the technical wizadry up in few words: They are, in essence, mass effect fields around your body that counter the effect used in weapons.

An average weapons mass effect field reduces the weight of the grains of metal used as ammo inside the weapon's barrel. Mass effect weapons are first and foremost railguns, after all. But by reducing the mass of said grains while they get magnetically accelerated, they are gaining much, much more speed then they could under usual circumstances. The result: Extremely high amounts of kinetic energy on impact.

On the contrary, a shield negates this kinetic energy by basically using the same effect - reducing the ammo's usual mass back to nearly zero, so that the 'bullets' glance off even from flesh. It is not that the grain doesn't touch you - but without any weight to carry the energy, the 'impact' is compareable to letting a grain of sand falling onto your skin from a _very_ low height. Additionally, most shields have some kind of integrated deflection, something 'pushing against' bullets to keep them from touching you just in case – and even then, you usually carry body armor for absolute protection.

Shields also work (albeit far less effectively) against blast waves... as long as they don't get overpowered and you give them the time to regenerate in-between impacts.

However, they have three essential weaknesses. Barriers common for infantry firefights are almost useless against massive projectiles. Drastically put, an armor's barriers aren't powerful enough to reduce the mass of an incoming asteroid. You're still getting smashed. So the more mass a projectile has, the lower are your odds.

Second, they loose a lot of their effectiveness in melee. A knife or even a club can't be deflected - the club has too much mass, and if someone gets a knife's blade between your ribs it doesn't really matter if the knife is weightless.

Third: It only protects against physical energy. Not against heat or cold or electricity, unless you add something more exotic.

The flask splintered on the turian's chest barrier without causing any damage. The burning fuel however was too close to be effectively blocked. A lot of the searing hot substance stuck to his face and splattered inside his armor.

His painful cries were horrific. He desperately tried to extinguish the hungry flames eating him alive. Moments later, a blast from Tali's shotgun shattered his face and sent him to the ground, lifeless and with blue GORE? around his head – or what was left of it.

I stared on the burning corpse and felt a bitter taste in my mouth. Lucky for me, I wasn't granted the the time to throw up - a bullet barely missed me and I reflexively went back behind the crate.

It ttook a brief moment to shake the impression off, but then I joined Tali who was busy fighting the remaining salarian mobsters. Another two shotgun blasts took one of these guys' shields out, and I hit him with two or three bullets in chest and head. He stumbled, but remained on his feet.

_Crack!_ A large, fist-sized hole appeared on his chest. The salarian's body jerked once, then went LIMB? and fell down. Surprised, I turned half around to see not just three, but five people coming down the stairs from Chora's Den, a red-haired human woman taking point, all with their weapons drawn.

A turian in blue armor unshouldered his still smoking sniper rifle and pulled back the lever to cycle in a fresh heat sink.

Then I noticed my mistake, unfortunately too late. The last remaining salarian exploited my brief unawareness and fired his rocket launcher.

The shell hit the side of the crate I was half standing behind and exploded. My barrier absorbed most of the shockwave, but was overpowered. The remaining energy punched straight through the soft armor into my chest.

My feet left the ground. I felt all air getting pressed out of my lungs, the next thing I knew was that my back and head hit something hard. The impact on the hard ground_ hurt. _

I blacked out for a second before tasting blood. "_Scheiße! (Shit!)"_

I winced, my chest and head felt like the were on fire. But then I registered that there were still guns blasting, so I painfully rolled out of harms way, stoodd up as quickly as I could manage and, leaning out of cover, took aim.

The next time the RPG merc rose his head out of cover was his last. Seven guns blasted almost simultanously, bullets cracked both helmet and skull. Suddenly, everything fell silent.

A thought flashed through my mind, with a bit of delay – _they weren't supposed to have RPGs this early_ – but then a jolt of pain tore through my chest and made thinking about

anything else impossible. I hissed, carefully raised my right arm while keeping a tight grip on my gun and felt my head for wounds. I was bit light-headed and had to lean against the wall for support.

_Could have been worse, _a voice inside me spoke up, laced? With cynicism._ At least you're still alive, Congratz, Hero. _I felt too worn out to argue against it.

Then I heard a pair of boots clicking on the floor. Having a dark feeling of 'trouble', I looked up.

Right in front of me, only two meters away and with a rather grim expression stood Ashley Williams. Her expression was grim – and her assault rifle trained on my heart.

"Drop your weapon, and don't move", she ordered cooly.

I had never hated her so much before.

Despite the tension, I sighed and noticed that my shields are back up. Then, for the second time that day, I rose my hands about my head – but this time, without dropping the pistol.

I had no intention to let that three-times cursed woman ruin my day in such a way.

_This, _I thought, meeting Ash's gaze with one of borderless annoyance,_ ends just as well as I thought it would._

* * *

_**Addendum, July 2017**\- Reworked large parts and overall, polished wording, grammar, and style. In case you're wondering what I mean by 'colonist clothing' – I'm referring to M!Shep's casual outfit in ME2. _

* * *

_**Original A/N, 2015:**__ Wohoo! Cliffhanger! Yay... Don't worry, it' nothing fancy. That much I can say._

_As you may have or maybe haven't noticed,__** I have reworked parts of the prologue and the first chapter**__ thanks to some very useful feedback I've got. Please, if you are interested in this story, leave me a review! I enjoy every fav and every follow this story gets, but only the reviews give me the necessary feedback to make this whole thing better. So... please? :)_

_Anyway, thank you for sticking around! We have only just begun :) Next chapter will likely be released around the 29th May, depending on how fast I am with writing it. I hope to see you guys then!_

_P.S.: Last edit 13.8.2015 - Big shoutout to _**5 Coloured Walker** _for correcting my sloppy mistakes with the technical weapons/shields issue. Hope this new explanation is better than the one before :)_


	4. Three - Citadel: Exposing Saren

_**"I believe that first impressions are very important."**_ \- _F. W. de Klerk_

* * *

**Chapter 3 - Citadel: Exposing Saren**

So I stood there. A little bit deaf from the explosion, with both an aching chest and strong headaches, embarrassed that I got almost killed by my own stupidity and Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams has nothing else to do but to shove her assault rifle straight in my face. 'Pissed' doesn't even remotely describe what I felt.

In retrospect, I maybe just should have done as ordered. After all, it's not a good idea to make those people angry you 'hope' to live with on close quarters... but I was _so annoyed..._

... so although I raised my hands above my head, I fastened the grip on my pistol and was ready do something really stupid if Ashley decided to attack me.

Some damned intense moments followed. Ash's Expression got even harder, and so got mine.

"I said. Drop. Your. Weapon!"

I stayed silent, the finger on the trigger but pointing at the ceiling.

"Williams, stand down!"

Another female voice sounded, darker, fuller and very distinctive. I tilted my head slightly to see Shepard approaching behind the Gunnery Chief, a pistol in her hand but the barrel pointed to the ground. I met her gaze and was once again amazed by her eyes. Despite the reddish dark light, they were a brilliant green. But this time, I was able to quickly shake it off.

"Commander Shepard?" I asked her, trying to sound surprised and relieved at the same time. "Excellent timing."

The Commander's expression was controlled, though I am sure that she tried to guess my next move, ready to engage me if necessary.

"Yes, and who are you?" Shepard's gaze wandered to Tali, who still stood at the same spot as before, her body language betraying her nervousness and surprise at the sudden arrival of our helpers.

"Name's Jess Raven.", I answered, still in the same posture. "Could you please tell the lady here to lower her weapon? I am not your enemy - quite the opposite, in fact." The slightest bit of nervousness crept past my headaches into my mind. _At least the lights around here are dimmed._

She eyed me again, then nodded. "Alright, you may lower your arms – but please, put the pistol away and do it slowly." I complied, attaching the Judgement to the magnetic holster on my right hip, while Ashley folded her assault rifle and stowed it on her back. She frowned. "Ma'am, no human who is not either C-SEC or military is allowed to carry weapons on the Citadel", she told her CO. "So who-?"

"I'll explain later", I interrupted her, gaining me an angry glare, "but first, there are more important matters. Miss," I turned to Tali, "are you alright?"

"I know how to look after myself", she answered just a little bit snippy, before turning to a more friendly tone. "Not that I don't appreciate the help. But..." She tilted her helmet to the N7 operative, "Who are you?"

"My name is Shepard. I'm looking for evidence to prove Saren is a traitor."

Tali turned to me, her voice full of surprise. "So you were right!"

I nodded. "As I said, Miss, the Commander is able to help you. Ma'am: This quarian has the evidence you might need to prove Saren's gone rogue." She eyed me, and again I felt like I just got thoroughly examined... not really a pleasant feeling. The result seemed to be good for me, though. "What do you know about this?" she asked me, not unfriendly, but to the point.

"I was sitting in a bar close to Chora's Den when they broadcasted your 'audience' with the Council", I answered, unable to hold my disdain for these clowns out of my voice. "A few minutes later I overheard these guys" I pointed to the two dead salarians and the still burning turian corpse "getting orders from Fist. Something about them getting the evidence from the quarian... I quote: 'At any cost. Saren wants it that way." All eyes were on me, some astonished, some curious, some suspicious. "I don't know why the hell they were dumb enough to say this openly... maybe you should ask Fist about it."

"That would be... difficult." Shepard answered, eyes wandering to a red and scarred krogan who met her gaze quite unimpressed. I glanced at Wrex, too. "Yeah... I see." Mentally, I sighed. Good. Dead Fist means lesser risk of me walking in a trap.

"Anyway", I continued, "I may not have a thing for the Systems Alliance, but if someone thinks he can get away with slaughtering innocents... both on Eden Prime, and here", this time I pointed at Tali, "then he needs to be stopped." Okay, maybe that was a little bit too hammed up... "So I decided to help a bit and convince her to bring you the evidence, Commander. "

"Why me, and not the ambassador?"

I look at her. "That's because I have little respect for politicians, but great respect for you. You are the Lioness of Elysium – if anyone can protect Humanity and deserves all the help she needs, it's you."

Shepard nodded slowly. Maybe my eyes deceived me, but I think I saw just a glint of flatter in her eyes. "Alright. Miss, are you okay with giving us the evidence in exchange for protection from Saren?" Now everybody was looking on the young quarian pilgrim, who was nervously fidgeting her hands under the gaze of twelve eyes.

"If that is what I can do to repay you for saving my life, then I'll show it to you", she finally answered. "But not here – we need to go somewhere safe."

"We could take her to the human embassy." A double-layered voice spoke up, unknown yet so familiar. Garrus. "Your ambassador will want to see this anyway." Shepard nodded again, before turning to me once more. "One thing, though..." _Oh, not good._

"Mr. Raven, I am loath to say this, but Chief Williams is right – you are neither C-SEC nor Alliance as far as I can tell, yet you are armed and I assume also wearing armor. Could you explain this, please?"

_Ah, crap. Well, it was bound to happen anyway_. "I can explain," I answer while suppressing another wave of nervousness (and headaches), "but I doubt that you will like the answer."

"And that means what?" asked Ashley, and my nervousness was quickly replaced with anger about her tone. Okay. Let's be blunt, then.

"That means, Ma'am, that I am not only carrying weapons and armor without a license," came my sharp reply, "but also technically don't exist." That brought me another glance – or glare? - But before Shepard could ask, I continued. "I am as far as I know not even a citizen of the Systems Alliance, nor do I have any ID papers, making my whole stay on the Citadel somewhat illegal."

I crossed my arms in front of me to keep me from adding anything else.

"Where are your from, then?" Shepard asked, surprisingly without any edge in her voice.

I sighed. "From Earth... it's a bit of a story", I added, interrupting whatever Kaidan Alenko wanted to say, fighting back the urge to rub my hurting head, "and to be blunt, I would be a lot more comfortable discussing this somewhere private, too".

"Alright then." Shepard stretched her hand out, looking at me apologetic. "Mr. Raven, I am sorry that I have to do this... but I need you to hand me your weapons and consider yourself in custody."

I opened my mouth to protest, but she cut me off. "I am fairly sure that you had only the best intentions, but you must understand that we can't just let you run around like that... Please, I might be able to help you solving this mess."

_And here I was hoping she wouldn't play by the books 100%_. Yeah, at least she was trying. "Its o.k.," I answered, a little bit of tiredness creeping into my voice, "I had a feeling I couldn't stay low forever... not after that stunt I just pulled." I took my pistol (pointedly ignoring Ashley's brief twitch to her sidearm), flipped it around and put it in Shepard's open palm. "The rest of my equipment is in that bag over there, and I am currently wearing a ballistic vest with shields."

I raise my hands to fold them behind my head, but Shepard shakes her head. For the first time, I see a slight crack in her calm demeanor - _embarrassment?_

"That won't be necessary, I believe." She gives me a small but honest feeling smile. "As long as you don't try anything. We only need you to come with us, we are not arresting you."

"Well, I should be glad that you aren't C-SEC, then." From the corner of my eyes, I saw Garrus' mandibles brief twitch. _Well, except for... _"Don't tell me."

"Don't worry. If Shepard says she can handle this, I won't interfere." _A Mass Effect 1 - Garrus without a stick up his ass? Now that is a first. Looks like Shepard already made an impression_. I grinned, despite the stress it put on my aching head. _Maybe this will be awesome._

"Sounds good for me." Then my glance falls on the bodies behind us.

"What about these unlucky fellas?"

I still have no idea about turian mimic, but if I had to guess I'd say Garrus was _smiling_. "The same thing as with the other dozens of criminals we took down today." I raised an eyebrow. "Body bags and crematory... Executor Pallin's going to have a lot of paperwork." Shepard adds, an almost unnoticeable grin tugging on her lips. I can't help but raising the second eyebrow. _You_ _sure she's Paragon?_

I snort. "Yeah, I heard some rumors along those lines." I turned and saw Kaidan picking up my backpack. "I am ready to go if you are."

"One more thing... turn around, please." I did that and found Shepard scanning me with her omni-tool. "That was a pretty nice landing you did there," she says, a bit sarcastically but with genuine concern in her voice. "Feeling alright?"

The throbbing pain in my head and my aching chest - and back - and everywhere – were now omnipresent. I grimaced once again, briefly touching the wound on my head with my hand. "Felt better."

"Don't move." She typed something in her Omni-tool and waved it over my head. I held my breath. "Applying medigel." The substance made contact with my skin. It felt like a cool but not cold shower, and a moment later the pain subsided. "You got a laceration and a slight concussion... Medigel should do the job for the time being. Your chest is mostly alright, as far as I can tell. You should see a doc soon, though... and stay away from explosions for a while", she dryly added.

_Yeah, fat chance of that. You are Commander Shepard, after all._

What's the score for ME1? An exploding volcano, a destroyed lab complex, Sovereign, the… _the nuke on Virmire._

And my glance falls on Ashley eying me and Kaidan strapping my bag on his back.

An icy shower runs down my spine.

* * *

The seven of us walked from the Lower Wards to the human embassy, mostly in silence. Only Ashley and Kaidan were talking behind me, as Shepard led us to the next point in the hunt for Saren. I didn't pay attention, being busy keeping a neutral-yet-nervous mask on my face, fitting someone whom either prison awaits or the price. But my thoughts made it hard to maintain it.

When I first planned this, I thought this interlude would have me on edge. Between becoming one of the Squad, maybe facing consequences for being on the Citadel without a clearance and stuff and worst case, being arrested, I was sure I would be nervous as hell - especially with all those new yet common faces around me. I mean - I am surrounded by video game legends!

But I felt none of these things.

I felt the same I did when I met Saphyria. Thoughtful. Uneasy. A slight taste of bitterness. I kept hearing the same lines over and over. I couldn't bring myself to stop them. Echoes from the past that was the future.

_"I am sorry, Ash - I had to make a choice." "Understood, Skipper. I don't regret a thing." - a nuclear explosion, clearly visible from orbit -_

_"Good Night, Little Wing. I will see you again in the dawn." - An asari in a black dress, slumped against a wall, succumbing to her wounds -_

_"Shepard!" - Oxygen getting forced into space, a man in a black armor struggling to hold onto something, anything in the void -_

_"I know, Tali. But thank you. Keelah Se'lai." - a metal body falling to the ground, a light getting switched off -_

_"Had to be me. Someone else might have gotten it wrong." - a fireball engulfing a tower, golden snowflakes softly falling to the ground -_

_"You did good, child. You did good. I'm proud of you." - a war-torn soldier finally laying to rest, as a hero rises one last time to fulfill his fate -_

* * *

I only notice our arrival when Udina starts his monologue. I instantly snap back to attention and barely keep myself from jumping. Of all sudden, we are in the human embassy. I'm standing to Shepard's left, Tali to her right. Sure enough, there stands Ambassador Udina seemingly overlooking the Presidium lake, and Captain Anderson next to him. I can't see it from here, but I know that in fact his eyes are closed.

"You're not making my life easy, Shepard."_ Life's hard, Udina. Deal with it. _"Firefights in the Wards, an all out assault on Choras Den? "He turns around while continuing in his annoying annoyed voice. "Do you know how many -"

He stops dead in his tracks, as he notices first the quarian, and second the unknown human in makeshift combat clothing. "Who are these? A quarian? A ... civilian? What are you up to, Shepard?"

Shepard crosses her arms behind her back, and you can't overhear the smugness in her voice. _Interesting. In-game she's colder here, isn't she? _"Making your day, Ambassador. The two of them have Information linking Saren to the Geth." She tilts her head to look at me. "Actually," she adds, "the Miss has the data, and the Mister here was very helpful in saving it from Fist, who was in fact working for Saren."

I remain impassive, but in my mind I clap. _Smart move, Shepard. Pointing out my usefulness first to raise my standing before the inevitable. Speaking of it..._

"But there is a problem I hope we can solve discreetly... and to everyone's favor."

Both Udina and Anderson raise their eyebrows, the former a little annoyed and the latter while throughout scanning me with his eyes. If Shepard's examination from before was unsettling, I now feel really, _really _uncomfortable. Ah. I had almost forgotten that Anderson's N7, too...

Like in the game, Udina is the first one to speak. "A problem, huh?" he says with a strange mix of interest and annoyance. "What kind of problem?"

I decide that now is a good time to speak for my own and take a single step forward. "The kind of which I'm afraid takes a lot of paperwork to solve... Ambassador Udina, I assume?"

He slowly nods. "Yes, I am. And you are...?"

"Jess Raven, Sir."

"He was with the quarian when we arrived," Shepard speaks up. "He claims he has no paperwork at all... No clearance for the Citadel, no licenses for his weapons... but most importantly, no Systems Alliance citizenship." That go some reaction from the two elder men. "He was helpful fighting the mobsters Fist sent, so I offered him help in sorting this out."

"Hm." Udina brings his hand up to his chin while Anderson folds his hands behind his back. "Well, maybe you should start at the beginning, Mr. Raven. Where are you from?"

I copy Anderson's stance and close my eyes for a brief moment. _Fake Bio. No stutter, no monotone. Go._

"I'm from Earth, Sir, or more specifically, the European Union. My parents were part of the Isolationism Movement and kept me locked away for sixteen years of my live, before I learned that there was something like the Systems Alliance... or Aliens, for that matter."

* * *

I wish I had just thought that movement out. I hadn't.

After Humanity discovered the prothean archives on Mars, thus confirming the existence of alien life, many people outright denied it... out of fear, religiosity or stupidity, it doesn't matter.

When the First Contact War started, most of those people finally opened themselves for the truth, even if that meant joining ultra-nationalistic groups like Terra Firma. But a small group of fanatics went even further. They secluded themselves from every human government, especially the Systems Alliance, and went to live in complete seclusion from everything outside their own small group. This also included the outright dismissal of most modern-age (meaning, post year 2100) technology.

Because what do you do if you can't handle the reality of a big universe? You deny it. And what do you do if society doesn't let you deny it? Well, shit. You build your own society. A very secluded society, closed off to every foreign influence. A "pure" human society.

They even went so far as "teaching" their children on their own and not letting them appear in any official record. Everything to "keep themselves clean from _xenos_-influence."

Most of those who tried to hide their children were soon discovered and ... _dealt with_, one way or another, their children sent to other families, thus preventing the worst of damage.

But there were confirmed reports of some of these children - at the time grown adults of 25, even 30 years - getting in contact with the bigger world around them once their parents' veils of secrecy and lies inevitably got torn apart.

Many of them tried to commit suicide and had to be treated for mental stress and stuff like that. They simply couldn't handle the shock.

When I first learned of these groups while researching what I could about humanity in 2183, my blood boiled so hot that I almost crushed the iron nightstand on my hotel room's solid steel wall.

I just can't deal with stupidity.

* * *

The humans around me react differently, but a bit of shock and disgust is in every single reaction. The aliens are mostly confused (except for Wrex, who is as impassive as always), but I don't give them time to ask.

"When I turned sixteen, I finally got contact to the outside world - and once I was eighteen, I grabbed everything I could and made a run for it. ", I continue, my voice gaining a slight edge of ice. "To cut things short, I spent the next three years mostly on the streets running with some minor gangs, mostly trying to stay out of trouble. I learned everything about the galaxy and its inhabitants I could find in both the Extra- and Internet - and then, a few months ago when I turned twenty-one, I decided that it was time for me to get away from Earth. I smuggled myself on a freighter and was lucky enough to reach the Citadel and slip past C-SEC without getting noticed. And, well, here I am."

"What were you trying to gain by getting on the Citadel?" Anderson asks. "What do you want outside Earth?"

_A good question, hopefully-soon-Councilor_. "To be completely honest... I don't know," I sigh. "Ever since fleeing from my 'beloved family' " – The quotation marks were impossible to overhear - "I only live from day to day. I don't really have a goal. I have no education which could be of use out there, except for that little bit of gun handling I picked up in the gangs. So I figured I maybe could go to the Terminus systems as a merc or an adventurer or something."

"A very risky way of earning your living, don't you think?" asks Kaiden behind me. I turned around and cringed inwardly at the frown he gives me.

"Not to mention highly illegal," Ashley adds, and her glance is just as steely as it was when she kept me at gunpoint.

I sigh once again. "Yes, I am aware of that. I just got almost killed, remember?"

"So why..."

"I wouldn't call myself suicidal", I interrupt, "but I don't really care much about dealing damage to myself. If I get lucky, everything's fine and if I don't... well, it can't be worse than being a thug in a lowly gang on Earth... or a stupid coward like my parents." The bitterness in my last few words was real, but it was directed at the isolationists, not my real parents. _They don't deserve this. _"Besides... Ma'am, I consider myself a soldier of fortune, not a criminal. A mercenary, but no pirate."

"Never thought about enlisting with the Alliance?" Yeah, it figures that Paragon Spacer Shepard would ask something along those lines.

"Not really." I shrug. "I'm an earth-born, I was an Isolationist and I lived on the street. Where I'm from, the Alliance only exists in theory. I think I've never seen an Alliance guy before I sneaked onto that ship. Hard to be loyal to a government that doesn't govern you."

They don't like it, that much is certain. Kaidan at least seems to understand, if I get that look on his face right. Ash, on the other hand, folds her hands before her chest and purses her lips, clearly not pleased by my statement. In my mind, I groan. _For fuck's sake, Williams! Are you too damn loyal to think straight? Why am I even asking? Horizon. And Mars. And the M3-Cerberus coup –_

Udina interrupts my line of thoughts. Surprisingly, he is far calmer than I expected him to be. His hand still rests thoughtful on his chin. "Hm... Well, now that we know how you ended up on the Citadel, how did you end up with the quarian?"

"My name is Tali'Zorah nar Rayya," mentioned quarian spoke up, despite her obvious nervousness with noticeable agitation in her voice.

I cast a short glance in her direction before I answer. "Once I arrived on the Citadel, I used some 'contacts' I have acquired on Earth and got me my gear. Then I began to use these contacts to try and gain some new ones, especially for work in merc companies or on Omega. But before I was able to get any further... I saw the pictures of the attack on Eden Prime, even your hearing before the Council."

I then repeat what I had said to Shepard in the alley.

Anderson glances at Udina before folding his hand in front of him. "Yes, that makes sense", he says slowly. Then he again glances dead in my eyes, his expression not betraying whether he likes what he sees or not.

"But why do you care?" I freeze. "You said that you are a merc and not loyal to the Alliance. You already risked very much by smuggling yourself to the Citadel. Not to mention that you carry unauthorized weapons and don't have a passport. So why did you blow your cover and expose yourself to the law to save a single person and some data you don't care about?"

I glance at him, my eyes burning. _The hell? How dare-?_ Then I catch on it. _He's testing you!_

"Do you think that I'm only interested in money?" I ask him, my voice calm save for a hint of steel I can't control. "I know the value of a life. I wouldn't let someone die just because it doesn't gain me anything. "

The Captain's eyes keep me pinned, an unspoken question in them. I sigh. My thoughts are spinning. _Careful now. Very, very carefully._

"Don't make the mistake of thinking that I kill people just for money. Or that I'm a stone-cold killer. If there's someone who needs help, I help." I once again look directly in Anderson's eyes, all uncertainty now gone from me. "I may not be an Alliance soldier, but I know well enough what 'right' and 'wrong' is. And if there's someone who think that it's a good idea to kill innocents for his own gain, then he needs to be taken down. Simple as that. "

I take a look around and see the people around me facing me. Despite the tension I feel, I manage a crooked grin. "I must admit though, the plan was to help the Miss with those mobsters, sending her to you, Commander, and then to get the hell out without any trouble. Your sudden arrival was kinda... unexpected." I add dryly.

Shepard grins. "Yeah, I figured that." The blink of an eye later, she is completely serious again and stands at attention before her Captain. You have to be blind not to notice the respect she has for that man... and I now have a hazard guess why.

"Captain, Ambassador: I promised to help Mr. Raven with a solution for his 'problem', preferably without him getting arrested. Is there a way to make this happen?"

Anderson and Udina exchange a glance. Then the human ambassador folds his arms. "I can think of a few ways. After all, he did Humanity a favor... if that data is any good."

"I am fairly sure of that, Ambassador." I say with a steady voice. "Saren paid enough for Fist to betray the Shadow Broker. That's a de facto declaration of war … and you don't go against the Broker without a _very _good reason."

He nods slowly, then turns his full attention to Tali.

"We don't see many quarians here, Miss nar Rayya. Why did you leave the flotilla?"

"I was on my pilgrimage, "she says while taking a few steps to the side. "My rite of passage into adulthood."

"I've never heard of this before", Shepard says with a tad of curiosity.

"It is a tradition among my people. When we reach maturity, we leave the ships of our parents and our people behind. Alone we search the stars, only returning to the flotilla once we have found something of value..."

* * *

The conversation went on for a few minutes, but I only listened with half an ear. After all, I already know everything. Flotilla, being worthy of adulthood, curiosity with the Geth, the memory core. Very interesting nonetheless, but I couldn't focus.

_That was a close call, amigo._ Indeed it was. I had expected some kind of interrogation, of course. None of the people around me is a fool and would accept my word without a question. So I prepared answers. Considered options. Planned most of the details. I have, however, failed to put Anderson in the quotation.

I try to maintain a neutral expression, but despite him listening to Tali, the Captain keeps examining me. Maybe I'm just paranoid. But I don't think he fully believes my story.

_Worst case, I go to prison. Best case, I go on the NORMANDY, and Anderson already suspects something_, I think with rising anxiety. The edge I talked about before? I was now absolutely on it. In multiple ways. _Chances of success? I'd say 50-50. Udina's ways better be good -_

"_**Eden Prime was a major victory.**_"

_Fuck!_ Saren's recorded voice startles me out of my thoughts. Luckily everyone else too – even Anderson.

"_**The beacon has brought us one step closer to finding the Conduit."**_

"That's Sarens voice!" Anderson exclaims . "This proves he was involved in the attack!"

"He said Eden Prime brought him one step closer to finding 'the Conduit'" Shepard adds thoughtful. "Any idea what that means?"

"The Conduit must have something to do with the beacon. Maybe it's some kind of prothean technology... like a weapon."

_Yeah, Anderson, because we all know that conduits usually are used as weapons,_ the sarcasm center in my brain sounded. _A crowbar is better suited for that.  
_

"Or a connection between some points" I muse quietly, but for everyone to hear. "A device to transport something?"

"Possibly," Anderson agrees while looking inquiringly at me and Shepard, "but what?"

"Wait, there is more" Tali interrupts his thoughts and nervously fidgets at her omni-tool, "Saren wasn't working alone." She pushes a few 'buttons' and then we hear the full message.

"_**Eden Prime was a major Victory.**_ _**The beacon has brought us one step closer to finding the Conduit.**_"

"_**And one step closer to the return of the Reapers."**_

A female voice. Damn, it is a difference to hear her in a video game and in reality. Benezia's voice is dark and emotionless with a touch of cold. In fact, it gave me a chill.

Udina doesn't seem to feel very comfortable either. "I don't recognize that other voice, the one talking about Reapers."

Shepard casts a questioning look at Tali. "Are they some kind of new alien species?"

"According to the memory core, the Reapers were a hyper-advanced machine race that existed 50,000 years ago," Tali speaks with rising agitation in her voice. "The Reapers hunted the Protheans to total extinction, and then they vanished! A-at least that's what the geth believe.", she adds a bit shyly.

"Sounds a little far-fetched", Udina speaks somewhat degorative. _You have no idea, idiot. But you will know soon enough._

"The vision on Eden Prime!" Shepard exclaims while rubbing her forehead with her armored sleeve, "I understand it now. I saw the Protheans being wiped out by the Reapers!"

_Yupp. And right now you have no idea what they are capable of_, I think with a heavy heart._ Oh, how petty this all is compared to the battles yet to come_!

"The geth revere the Reapers as gods, the pinnacle of all non-organic life" Tali speaks up. "And they believe Saren knows how to bring the Reapers back." _The Heretics, Tali, not the true Geth._

"The Council is just going to love this." Udina mutters through clenched teeth. _As they will seeing their homes burn, Udina - especially Tevos Thessia. Or you Arcturus Station._

"The Reapers are a threat to every species in Citadel space. We have to tell them!" _They won't believe you until it's too late, Shepard. But you're welcome to try._

"No matter what they think about the rest of this, those audio files prove Saren's a traitor!" Anderson speaks with resolution.

"The Captain's right." Udina admits. "We need to present this to the Council right away."

_And now the interesting_ _part._ "What about them?", Wrex' growling voice comes from behind me. "The quarian and that other human?" I stiffen and fold my hands behind my back. _Now it counts!_

"My name is Tali!" quarian in question reiterated for the third time in under one hour. "You saw me in the alley, Commander. You know what I can do. Let me come with you!"

"I thought you were on your Pilgrimage?"

"The Pilgrimage proves we are willing to give of ourselves for the greater good." Tali states, half firmly, half begging. "What does it say about me if I turn my back on this? Saren is a danger to the entire galaxy. My Pilgrimage can wait."

Shepard doesn't look too convinced … but before she or Tali can say anything else, I interrupt. "I heard that quarians are among the greatest engineers and technicians in the whole galaxy." I speak more calmly than I feel, drawing the curious glace of Shepard and the – incredulous? - glance of Tali on me... and the glances of everyone else in the room. "Also, every quarian pilgrim has some sort of combat training. And if the self-built grenade she threw and her shotgun handling is anything to go by, then Miss Zorah nar Rayya is more than capable of protecting herself."

Shepard looks me in the eye for a few rather tense moments, then she nods. "Alright. I can use any help I can get."

Tali tilts her head to look at both me and Shepard, then she walks over to stand by Shepard's side. "Thanks. You won't regret this." _I would very much regret not having you on board, Tali,_ I think and can't suppress a small grin. It vanishes a second later. Because now I have the full and undivided attention of everyone in the embassy.

"And now to you, Mr. Raven..." the Ambassador says. "What should we do with you?"

_Last scene of the first act. Keep it together! Its just stagefright!_

* * *

"If that is a possibility... I would like to come with you too, Commander." I say. "I don't know what else to do... I wanted to go to Omega to find something to do, but this...?"

I turn around to fully meet her gaze, steely blue eyes and emerald green. "That rogue SPECTRE does need to be taken care of. And all of this, the Reapers, the Conduit, it sounds like there's something bigger going on. I want to be on your team when you hunt Saren."

"This will likely be extremely dangerous." Shepard answers and surprises me with the softness of her voice. "Are you sure you want to do that without a proper training?"

"Have you ever lived your life without a goal ?" I answer just as soft. "That's how I lived for the last three years. Nothing to do, trapped on the streets in ever the same petty gang conflicts. That's why I fled to the Citadel. To find anything _useful _to do. And I don't know anything but how to hold a gun. If I can use that to do something meaningful... to make a _real difference..._then I am willing to do it at any cost."

Our eyes keep contact for another second. I see that Shepard _understands_.

"Besides," I add, a bit louder and breaking eye contact, "I am now involved deeply enough that it's safer for me to be with you than to be on my own. Sooner or later, Saren will find out what my role in this drama was... and I'm afraid that he will try and either silence or have revenge on me."

"A fair point" adds Kaidan, nodding at me._ Thank you, Art, for that extra argument_, I think once again. _I might not be a badass composer or flexible like rubber, but... at least I already fired a gun more than once. _

Shepard turns around and glances at her fellow human squadmates. "Your opinons?"

Kaidan and Ashley look at me, the former thoughtful, the second kinda inquisitional.

"I think we can risk it" the L2 biotic speaks first. "The only reason Mr. Raven got injured in the alley was that Detective Vakarian unintentionally distracted him with his gunfire. And even when he got downed by a rocket, he was quick to stand back up and getting to cover. He may have to work hard, but I think he can pass Alliance Marine training." _Thanks, Mr. Nice Guy Alenko,_ I think and barely keep the smirk from forming on my lips. _I knew that I could trust you bringing arguments for me. But I doubt that Ashley..._

"I agree with the Lieutenant." she says. _Huh?_ "I think he will need _a lot_ of physical training (_\- I am not _that_ fat, ya stupid...! - _) ,and a good bit of weapons training too, but that incendiary flask was 'good thinking' with 'using whatever resources he had'. And you already said that we will take some time to mesh everyone together, ma'am – I think we should be able to take the time for both Raven and the quarian to get some actual training."

_Somehow I get the feeling that Tali is not too happy someone called her pilgrimage preparations 'not actually training'._ I deliberately avoid looking in her direction. _And yet somehow Ashley calls Tali her little sister in ME3._ _Well, I didn't thought she would speak up for me._ _Maybe she isn't all that bad in Real Life? Miracles happen around here..._

Shepards seems to consider it for a few more moments, then she has come to a decision. "Alright. We will bring you with us and see what our doc says about you. If you pass her test and can keep up with Alliance' marine training, then I'll consider bringing you with me on missions. If," at that she looked at the Ambassador and her captain, "we can sort out that issue with his papers."

"That is no big problem, Commander." Udina exchanges a glance with Anderson before he addresses me. "Mr. Raven, under normal circumstances, you would have to be arrested for carrying unauthorized weapons. As you served Humanity while doing so, we could keep you out of prison, but you would be banned from the Citadel for the rest of your life and likely never be able to join the Alliance. The fact that you aren't even an Alliance citizen only makes things worse." He walks over to his terminal and begins to search through its contents.

"However, there is a legislation called the Alliance Emergency Recruitment Act" he continues. "It states that in times of war, the Systems Alliance is authorized to recruit any human fit for military service into either the Navy or the Marine Corps for the duration of the conflict. This act also protects the recruits in concern from prosecution, if they are not prosecuted for major crimes."

Seemingly content with what he found, he turns around and looks at Captain Anderson. "The Alliance Parliament and the Fleet Command at Arcturus Station declared the state of war three hours ago." Then his gaze wanders to me.

"I propose this: You apply the Systems Alliance Citizenship, retroactive to you birth as it is any human's right. I can explain the details later. After that, Commander Shepard can apply her right as commissioned officer of the Alliance and recruit you into her marine detachment, with retroactive effect to the moment the state of war was declared. So before the law, you were authorized by the Commander. The little time differences are easy to explain.. or don't need to be explained at all."

_Wow._ I suck in a sharp breath. _That would solve almost everything. But... _"I assume that there also would be some negative consequences for me, Ambassador?", I ask carefully.

"As a matter of fact, yes. Once you are recruited, you have to stay until the state of war has been reversed or your commanding officer officially discharges you."

"Or you get dishonorably discharged... In which case the crimes you committed during your service will be prosecuted." Anderson adds.

So I am bound to Shepard until all of this is over and need to keep a spotless record of service. Considering that this is what I want anyway, there is no problem at all. Most importantly, I would be a 'complete human' again, a citizen of Earth. And not a homeless, stateless loner.

I ask for two minutes respite, then I speak two words.

"I accept."

* * *

Shepard and her squad – now including Tali – moved on to enjoy a brief shore leave – or, most likely, fulfill some side quests – before going to the Council Chambers for the second hearing, scheduled in roughly an hour.

_No. Our squad. My comrades._

It is hard to describe the feel of pure joy I felt. I had done it. I now was part of the soon-to-be-best goddamned squad in the whole galaxy!

To be honest, I am still not completely safe. If Dr. Chakwas doesn't clear me for duty, I will likely spend most of Mass Effect 1 on the substitutes bench. But so be it, then. I had done whatever I could in the short amount of time I was given, and I am as close to my goal as I can be.

If I need half the game to get in shape, then so be it. The better I will be in the final missions.

But first things first, I had signed the required papers. First for the the Systems Alliance, then for the Alliance Marine Corps. Udina showed aside of himself I didn't thought existed – he calmly explained me everything and helped me with filling in the formulas. I was tempted to ask why he didn't bitch around... but one does not simply look a gifted horse in the mouth.

As of now, I was both a citizen of the Systems Alliance and Private 2nd Class with all the rights and duties that entailed. Private 2nd Class is the lowest rank in the Alliance Marine Corps – Recruit not counted - but I expected nothing else_._ _Private Raven, _I thought with a grin. _Sounds not too shabby._ _Not as good as Private Ryan, but, what the hell. _

Due to the lack of a proper uniform at the moment, Anderson had temporarily given me a substitute brassard I now wear on my left upper arm, with both the single chevron insignia of my rank and the insignia of the Systems Alliance below it. The globe between the two clasps had been replaced by my home country's flag … the black-red-gold of Germany.

"Never thought I'd represent my country in such a way", I quietly laughed when I fixed the brassard on my jacket.

My equipment and other possessions had already been transferred to the NORMANDY – save for a few things I had hidden in some stashes around the wards. Mostly things that would raise too many questions if they get found, like the keys or the cellphone.

All that was left now was to convince the Council to let us save the galaxy, and then to do just that.

* * *

Fifteen minutes before the hearing, Udina, Anderson and I leave the embassies and make our way to the Council Chambers. There Udina moves on to address the Council while Anderson and I wait for Shepard and the team to arrive.

I let my gaze wander around the Chamber. Breathtaking. Yet I can't shake of the thought of what will happen to these precious looking trees when Saren comes here to wreak havoc. And even worse, what all of this will look like in a few years...

Then, five minutes or so before the hearing starts I spot Shepard and her following approach the upper area where Anderson and I stand.

Just like in the game, Anderson just turns arounds to the podium once Shepard comes close. "Come on." he says, "Udina will present the quarian's evidence to the Council in a few." Shepard follows him quickly, and side by side they walk up the stairs.

Strange. In the game, Shepard would arrive just in time to hear Udina playing the audio files to the Council... then again, in the game Udina doesn't has to help me with the paperwork and delay the meeting for that long. So even without actually intending it, my simple presence manipulates the reality...

Which, for the first time, leaves me alone with my squadmates. I am slightly fraught … ah, cut the slightly, I am tense as hell. Now how to introduce yourself to a bunch of heroes of whom everybody can probably smoke me in a pipe? Not to mention that I know almost everything about everyone and need to be careful as hell not to prattle away?

Unfortunately, my tension is not lost on them either.

"Gee, calm down, soldier" Ashley says while rolling her eyes with slight amusement. "We're not biting your head off or something."

"Hmph. Yeah, you don't look that tasty." Wrex rumbles. In a way which doesn't give away if he jerks me around or is serious...

I gulp. "Well, I was going to try and introduce me without things getting awkard", I say slowly, "But thank you anyway."

"You will get used to it soon enough." Kaidan assures me. "You wanted to introduce yourself, you said?" I nod. "Well, I think we all heard your story, so I guess we should properly introduce ourselves to you, then." I nod, biting back the 'I know you all already'. I have the feeling that that's not true, though... and in more ways than the obvious.

He extends his hands which I shake. A firm handshake, good sign. "I am Staff Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko, and I am the head of the _NORMANDY'_s marine detail. So once you finished your basic training, I am going to be your superior officer if the Commander is not around."

Kaidan's my superior? Not bad. He's reasonable enough. "Nice to meet you, Sir. I'll try my best."

He smiles. "Don't worry, you don't have to salute me or anything. I'm not that into ranks, especially if we've been in the field together. Neither is the Commander." I smile at him. "Looking forward to the action, Lieutenant."

He smiles back before gesturing towards Ashley. With her hands folded before the chest plate of her armor and with her hair in a strict fringe, she's a formidable sight... even in white and pink. She doesn't even smile. "This is Gunnery Sergeant Ashley Williams. She will be in charge of your weapon training and basic combat training. She's also responsible for most of the actual work on the weapons. Like, for example, moddding."

She still doesn't smile. Yeah, maybe I was a bit reckless on her before, with disobeying her order and that. Not that it was okay to do what she did, but well. _How do I break the ice... ah._

"Williams? As in General Williams, the famous General in the Siege of Shanxi?"

From the frown of her face and the expression in Kaidan's face, I know that I move on dangerous territory. Not that I didn't knew before...

"Yes. And- ?" She probably expected me to make fun of her. Judging by her slightly open mouth, she did not expect me to snap to attention.

"I have read everything I could about the First Contact War", I say with firm voice. "Your grandfather was a hero, even if most people think otherwise. He surrendered his own honor to ensure that hundreds of thousands other humans survived the siege. It is an honor to serve with you, ma'am." I relaxed and folded my arms behind my back. "I also want to apologize for the tone I spoke to you earlier. I was injured and on edge, but I still shouldn't have snapped like that."

Also, she shouldn't have held he rifle in my face. She knows it, and I know it.. but I am kind enough not to say it.

Seeing that Ashley is momentarily unable to answer, Kaidan clears his throat and points on Garrus. "This is Detective Garrus Vakarian, a C-SEC agent. He was leading the investigation against Saren and now comes with us to bring him down."

The turian and I shake hands , briefly, but amicable. "A pleasure to meet you, Detective Vakarian", I smile.

I am sure, if he could, he would have smiled, too. Instead, he chuckled. "Likewise, Private. But if am allowed to ask for something: You call me Garrus, and I call you Jess. Is that alright?"

I grin a little bit sheepishly and look briefly to the ground. "Well, actually I would prefer to be called 'Raven'" I say. "During my time with the gangs, my surname became something like a callsign... I probably won't even notice that you talk to me if you call me 'Jess'."

His mandibles twitched briefly, I figured it was a sign of turian amusement. "Alright. Just don't call me Vakarian, and we're good to go."

"Before you try to introduce me, Lieutenant, let me introduce myself" Wrex rumbles and stares at me with his red eyes. "I am Urdnot Wrex, I am responsible for killing the big things, and if you don't get on my nerves I won't kill you."

"Now that's a statement." I say with a small smile tugging on my lips. Doesn't keep me from tensing up again, though. _The thing is, I have no doubt that he means what he says._ "I think I heard about you, Urdnot Wrex. Some guy back on Earth told me about you, once."

"Uh-huh." Wrex continues to muster me. "And what story?"

"According to that guy, you are a legend even among your own people. You're over 700 years old, the most dangerous mercenary in the galaxy and once had a little 'problem' with a fellow asari merc. A problem you resolved by having a duel on a pirate space station... and once the two of you were finished, there were almost no survivors."

The people aorund us show various signs of nervousness, but Wrex only sounds a short bellow. "Hah! Guess you're right, pyjak. Maybe I'll tell you that story someday..." He sighs. "Good times."

"And finally... well, Tali'Zorah nar Rayya", Kaidan adds while ignoring Wrex. "I guess the two of you know each other better then the rest of us do", he finishes a bit lamely.

"Only by a few minutes" I laugh and extends my hand which Tali takes after a moment. "Still, it was and is a pleasure to meet you, Miss Zorah nar Rayya."

"Please, call me Tali" she answers a little shyly. "I never thanked you for helping me against Fist's men... A-and I am sorry for dragging you into this." Again, she wings her hands. _Wonder if every quarian does this when he's nervous?_

I smile and shake my head. "Don't worry. I don't think you're responsible for this. If anything, I should thank you for - even if unintentionally - giving me that chance to do something useful in my life." I try to catch her eyes behind the mask. Come to think, could it be that her mask is much more translucent in ME2?

"You... seem to know a lot about my people..." She says hesitatingly. I nod.

"Everything I could learn from the Extranet. You are fascinating people. A damned shame that only so few people appreciate you."She tilts her head slightly to the side and looks like she's about to say something, but Kaidan interrupts us and gestures towards the podium from where I now can hear the evidence. being played

**"Eden Prime was a major victory. The beacon -"** _Yeah, we know it by now, Saren._

We all are standing behind our Commander, the captain and Udina, who's no doubt trying to look some kind of mediagenic... Well,_ it_ is about to be an historic moment...

I switched off my brain for the next roughly three minutes, allowing myself to relax a bit. After all, the council is now like, _Saren's a traitor blah blah blah Can't do a thing about it blah blah blah Reapers we have dismissed that claim - _oh wait, that was ME2_ \- blah blah blah aaah let's send Shepard to sort out that mess._

Despite being in close proximity to four of the worst morons in the whole game series, I quite enjoy the moment. Hell, why shouldn't I? I am about to be one of the _NORMANDY_'s legendary squad members, I'm about get some real combat training from the best teachers in existence and I think we can go along just fine.

I feel some glances on me. Tali and Ash, I guess. Well... I will have to explain my knowledge to Tali, no doubt. And Ash will most likely talk to me, too...

It is Sparatus of all people who startles me out of my tranquil moment. "No! It's too soon. Humanity is not yet ready for the responsibilities that come with joining the SPECTREs."

Shepard disagrees. "You don't have to send a fleet into the Traverse, and the Ambassador gets his human SPECTRE. Everybody's happy."

Sparatus can't argue with that logic (and most likely not against Tevos), and so they type into their consoles before Tevos speaks up with solemnity in her voice.

"Commander Shepard - step forward."

We can hear murmurs from the balconies around us. Wow. Those are not six or seven like in the game. They are easily hundred, two hundred people of all species about to witness the induction of the first huuman SPECTRE.

I stand at full attention, and so do Kaidan and Ashley. Still, I can't help but to grin broadly. I am confident and focused.

Shepard will become a SPECTRE.

We will go and hunt Saren.

What happens after that... well, we'll see.

* * *

_Meanwhile, in a bar in the Lower Wards..._

Almost two hundred years in the future and I still can't drink some cheap Jim Beam whiskey without having the urge to mix it with coke to actually make it bearable. You would have thought they finally changed their recipe to something less terrible. But maybe clinging to something terrible is called 'tradition', nowadays... and that's something you can earn money with.

So I glare at my glass - which is still almost full - as if it was at fault for my whole situation. I sigh and let my shoulders slump down. Just should have asked the barkeeper what kind of whiskey he has instead of just ordering the cheapest one.

I let my gaze sweep through the small bar. Only a few tables, most of them empty. A few aliens here and there, not a single human. The barkeeper looks at what you might call a TV back where I come from. It is some kind of holographic display, but with a surprisingly sharp image.

I decide to find out what was so interesting … and immediately recognize the scene. How wouldn't I? I lost count of the amount of times I played through this game.

"So it is already this part, huh?" I quietly mutter to myself before deciding to have a sip of whiskey despite the terrible taste. Damned! If only I would have had some time to prepare I might have been able to make a difference. Now it is to late for that.

I let my gaze wander back to my glass. No need to watch it, even now. I can almost remember every single line of dialog. Udina presents the sound data to the Council, they accept it (without openly admitting that they failed, of course) and remove Saren's SPECTRE status. After that, Shepard becomes the first human SPECTRE and goes on to take the rogue one down.

I never understood how the Council who is sometimes pretty racist accepts a audio recording from a quarian just like that, after they dismissed two human N7 and their ambassador. I am pretty sure that it would be easy to create false recordings with the technology they have at this point in time but whatever. I hear the barkeeper say something to one of the turians on the other end of the bar and perk up my ears.

"Well, looks like your friend lost his bet with that human."

The turian grumbles something in response but it is to low for my translator to pick up.

"Isn't that him there in the back? Next to that quarian."

I raise an eyebrow an try to remember who's present during the induction who would make a bet with a turian in some bar. My eyes go back to the screen while I take a sip from my drink to empty it and finally order a new one. Sure enough, I see a human at the back of the group next to Tali. Hm. He's neither Kaidan nor Ashley...

_Well maybe some stuff changed in this RL version,_ I think. I lower my gaze again until something clicks in my mind. _Wait a second._

I bob my head back to the screen where Shepard now speaks her part, bowing her head to the Council. "I'm honored, Councilor."

Then the camera zoomed out to reveal Shepard's squad behind her. Ashley Williams and Kaidan Alenko, both slightly awed. Wrex and Garrus, not quite as awed but – at least Garrus – with a respectful pose. Tali, nervously wringing her hands and -

My eyes go wide in surprise and I suck in a sharp breath - which is pretty stupid considering there is still whiskey in my mouth. I start to cough and choke, turning all the attention in the small pub to me. I went red. Both from the coughing and the embarrassment, but also a bit from the shock-

I recognize that guy. _That guy!_

I almst choe to death, but all I can think is _what the fuck?!_ . I thought I was stranded alone! In this crazy universe I know so much about, yet can't do a single thing here because I was too late!

But seriously -_ am I dreaming or on drugs or something? Am I so insane that I see familiar faces everywhere_? Was it a last attempt of my brain to keep me from going completely insane?

I go seamless from coughing to laughing, a little bit hysterical maybe. _Yeah, it's to late for that._ Since the whole bar's attention is already on me from the coughing fit, they now look at each other with questioning looks like I am a madman. Which, all things considered, is not that far from the truth.

"Everything okay with you, human?" asks the bartender with a kinda careful look on his face.

I shoot him a wide grin. "Never better. Hey, the next round is on me. I have something to celebrate."

That calms them slightly. They must think that I talk about the induction of the first human SPECTRE... and they are not completely wrong. After all that woman over there will eventually save the universe. But that turn of events...!

_And not only I'm not alone here, no, of course he already managed to get into the squad,_ I think, still with a big grin in my face. _Now what to make of it..._

My mind goes into overdrive. For the first time since I got here I have some solid information – and in time to work with them. Plan after plan went through my head.

_First, I need to contact him,_ I concluded. _Without breaking his cover... he would be unbelievably brainless to work without false background._

_Problem is that they will now do the first main mission. I guess. No time for me to contact him without a risk... I need more time. They'll be back to the Citadel soon enough. Have to intercept him when he's on shore leave._

_I need to somehow stay low until they're back. I need credits. And for that I need some skills. Then I need a way to contact him without raising suspicion._

A few minutes later, I still grin like a lunatic. I won't be able to get onto the Normandy now. Probably not for the entirety of the first game. But there's a silver lining on the horizon... even more than that.

_Of all people, it must be him. The only I know beside me who knows enough to make a difference here. Fun times ahead!_

I am happy enough to down my drink in one single swoop. Another error, my brain realizes a second too late. Or rather, three. First: It's Jim Beam. Second: It's now literally hand-warm from me holding it in my hand for almost an hour.

I barely keep me from throwing up and slam the glass on the counter. The salarian who dares to call himself a barkeeper gives me a questioning look from his black eyes.

When my stomach finally calms down, I grin at him."Gimme another one, please. This time _with_ cola and ice!"

The bartender hands me another drink and I raise it, with yet another grin on my lips.

"To you, my friend!" I exclaim before downing it. _And to being partners in crime in this goddamned game universe fucking turned reality. Keelah Se'lai._

* * *

_ **A/N:** Over 10k words in one chapter. I don't know how, the chapter just kept growing... and growing...  
_

_I hope the dialogue parts and everything are to your liking. If I somehow managed to get logical errors inside, tell me - there's nothing worse for me than writing something that makes no sense at all._

_Well, I guess I will be editing this chapter for the next weeks anyway... like I still do with 1-3. Ah, whatever, it pays off._

_Before anything else, I want to point out that the last scene of this chapter is not my doing. No, I have not become schizophrenic - the guy in the bar is my partner in crime **Armnorn**, who wrote that part as an introduction for himself... you can fully expect him around chapter 6, I guess. _

_So, anything else to say? Hm. Well, not really, for the moment... only that I hope to see ou guys around for the next chapter, scheduled for the 29th June!_

_Ah, and as always... if you happen to find any errors (and there are error, I just know it)... you know. The usual._

_P.S. Last Edit: 13.08.2015_


	5. FourOne - NORMANDY: Getting Started

**_"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." _**_\- Lao Tse_

* * *

**Chapter 4.1 – _NORMANDY:_ Getting Started - Part 1  
**

„I've got big news, Commander. Captain Anderson is stepping down as commanding officer of the _NORMANDY_. The ship is yours now."

Up to this point, we had a pretty uneventful trip from the Council Chambers to the Alliance' Presidium docking bay. I don't remember the first game in all details anymore, but I'm sure we missed at least 4 or 5 sidequests so far. It looks like Shepard wants to go out for her hunt as soon as possible – not like myself who explored every little side street in his playthrough. Then again, _I_ knew that I could afford to take my time.

The only thing worth mentioning was a little detour to the Upper Wards. Shepard had a little talk with a certain reporter and handed her the evidence from Fist's office. Ms. Wong was happy – even more so when Shepard offered her that Paragon-exclusive interview. A few hundred credits and an OSD changed their owners, and the Asian woman walked away with a smile like she had just gotten her secret crush's phone number.

During the walk I kept an eye on Shepard. She does a great job in concealing it, but it is obvious that it hasn't sunken in yet. Our first SPECTRE. A symbol of humanity, her actions reflecting on more than 15 billion people.

_And this is only the beginning._ I shivered while thinking of the future. _First human_ _SPECTRE, Saviour of the Citadel, died and resurrected, being betrayed and called a traitor by the ones she'd sworn to protect... and in the end, the Saviour of the Galaxy... if she chooses the right end, that is._

_Hopefully I'm still around when that happens._

* * *

And now we're here, in front of the – at the moment - most advanced frigate in the whole galaxy. _And a damned symbol on it's own._

The large black stripe on her flank and the wing shows her name and designation with white letters. _NORMANDY SR-1._

Prototype and name giver of the _NORMANDY-_class of frigates. The best deep space scout- and infiltration ship the combined might of human Systems Alliance and Turian Hierarchy can offer at this point. State-of-the-Art drive core, experimental suppressor/heatsink stealth technology and a powerful propulsion which makes her the fastest ship in the whole known galaxy.

I step aside to fully look at her, mouth dry and not paying attention to the dialogue between Shepard and Anderson. She seems to be bigger than in the game, but maybe that's just because I'm now _standing right in front of it_. I can't help but admire the pristine white-black-red paintjob and the very sleek and elegant design, even when the docking tube blocks most of my sight.

I hear someone step besides me and turn around. Tali seems to be just as entranced as I am. Maybe even more.

"A true beauty, isn't she?" I softly ask over Shepard's discussion with her superiors.

Talk is just a little startled, but quickly regains her composure. "Yes. I have never seen anything like her before! No ship on the Flotilla is so clean! And that design, she looks so, so..." Noticing that she was babbling, she starts to wring her hands _yet again_ and averts her eyes to the ground.

I grin. _Adorable. And that girl will be an admiral one day_. "I hear the NORMANDY has some real cutting-edge technology. Maybe Shepard will allow you to work with it?"

I swear, I've never seen anybody moving his head so fast. For once I'm lucky that Tali's visor conceals her face. Her incredulous look would probably have triggered a laughing fit of epic proportions. "Really? You think so?"

"Yeah, I think I will", came the slightly amused response - from our Commander. "Now, would you two please pay attention?"

Slightly embarrassed, we turned back to the rest of our group. Oh, those glares. "Sorry, Commander."

She stopped me with a wave of her hand and looked back at Anderson and Udina.

"I appreciate your intel, Ambassador, Captain, but the Reapers are the real threat."

"I'm with the Council on this one, Shepard." Udina says, frowning. "I'm not sure they even exist."

Before my eyes, I see him getting shot by Kaidan and the Reapers descending on what is left of Thessia.

"But if they do exist", Anderson continues, "the Conduit's the key to bringing them back. Stop Saren from getting the Conduit and we stop the Reapers from returning."

_I wish it would be that easy._

"I'll stop him." Shepard says with determination. Anderson nods slightly.

"We have one more lead… Matriarch Benezia, the other voice on that recording? She has a daughter, a scientist who specializes in the Protheans." Udina speaks up. "We don't know if she's involved, but it might be a good idea to try and find her, find out what she knows. Her name is Liara, Dr. Liara T'Soni."

I blend out the rest of the conversation, thinking of Therum in the Artemis Tau Cluster and the pretty blue girl trapped inside that bubble. _That would make her the fourth or fifth damsel in distress in under one week,_ I think with amusement. I perk up just in time to hear Udina deliver his last line for the moment.

"I have a meeting to get to. Captain Anderson can answer any questions you might have." And with a last glance at the Captain, Udina walks away to the elevator – without even as much as wishing us good luck.

Neither Shepard nor anybody else looks too sad about that, though.

"Alright", she sighs a bit tiredly before regaining her CO persona and turning around to face us. "I will have a little chat with the Captain now. Lieutenant, inform Pressley that we will depart in one hour, and get Mr. Raven to Doctor Chakwas. Williams, take Wrex, Garrus and Tali with you to the C/E deck, get them settled, then come into the CIC. I'll be there in a few."

Two "Aye-Aye" sound, one noticeably less enthusiastic than the other. Ashley and her proteges go first.

"See ya later, Tali". She looks in my face kinda inquisitively, then nods and follows Ash, obviously marveling at the wonders which are awaiting her behind the airlock. I, in the meantime, keep admiring the view of the Widow Nebula and the Citadel. _I've been here so often – and I never noticed that there are 6 docking bays? Man, that's poor, even for ya..._

"This way, Raven", Kaidan finally says a few minutes later and enters the docking tube. I am a little bit surprised how … hesitant I am to follow him. A strange timid has fallen on me... but I shake my head and walk inside the decontamination chamber. The door closes behind us, and a female voice which I recognize as the _NORMANDY'_s VI announces "Decontamination in progress..."

A bright light scans us, the rays invisibly cleaning the air from any possible bacteria and other pollution. I flinch as the light touches my skin. The rays are searingly hot.

"You'll get used to it eventually", Kaidan says casually. I decide its best not to answer and am relieved when it ends.

And now we step into the ship.

The first thing I notice is how dark it is compared to the decon rays. My eyes need a few seconds to adjust.

Second, the white shining markings on wall and floor, followed by the orange glow of many displays, covering the area in an interesting mix of colors.

The third thing is a well-known sarcastic voice to my left."Ah, the FNG."

I turn and see no one else but Joker sitting in his chair and looking over his shoulder.

Kaidan sighs.

"Welcoming as always. Raven, this is Flight Lieutenant Jeff Moreau, called Joker. Joker, this is Private Jess Raven, called Raven."

"Yeah, yeah." Joker snorts. "So, Raven, I'm the best damned pilot in the Alliance and I fly this baby. Any more questions?"

"Aye. We've got a decent coffe machine aboard?"

The look on their faces is _priceless._

* * *

A few minutes of talking – or, more accurate, trading snarks and one-liners – later, Kaidan and I leave Joker and head for the CIC. "Remember, I warned you!" he shouts after me before turning back to his controls... or whatever the hell he's doing while the ship is docked. I probably don't wanna know.

Kaidan sighs for the fourth or fifth time in three minutes and I grin. "Is Navy coffee really that bad?"

He gives me the same tired and amused look he just gave Joker. "It is not the best, but you can drink it and it wakes you up. And don't believe anything Joker tells you. He drinks three or more cups of this 'swill' every hour he's on duty. Come on, the doctor is over here."

We move past the galaxy map – at which I am intentionally not looking at, fearing I'd really start to drool –, through the door, down the stairs, past the elevator – _and another door that certainly wasn't there in the Mass Effect-NORMANDY, _I notice with surprise-, and the ship's mess and to a grey door-lock-something. It opens and reveals the _NORMANDY'_s medbay – just as clean as I remember it. A white-haired woman in a grey and white Alliance labcoat raises her eyes from the holoscreen she was working on.

Dr. Chakwas is surely not the youngest anymore, but she has aged gracefully. Only the barest hint of wrinkles shows around her turquoise eyes, and the gaze with which she musters me is sharp and aware, yet warm and with a vein of wisdom in it. _Like a true British lady._

"Ah. I assume you are the new recruit Shepard sent word of." she says while rising from her seat to stand in front of me. "I am Doctor Chakwas, the ship's physician and doctor. Welcome aboard the _NORMANDY._" I salute, then shake her outstretched hand. "Yes, I am Jess Raven. Thank you, Major." That causes her to raise her eyebrow and chuckle lightly. "I see you did your research. But it's just 'Doctor' for everyone on this ship."

She turns her attention to Kaidan. "I will check Private Raven's condition and inform the Commander of the results once we are finished."

He nodded. "Good luck, Raven. And Doc... Don't be too hard on him. He probably saved the day." With a smile and a nod in my direction, he leaves the medbay.

I fold my arms behind my back, unsure and a little bit intimidated. Hospitals always have that effect on me, and this certain clinical stench doesn't make me feel any better. _It's useless. Let's get this over with._

"Now, before we start with the physical examination I need to ask you some questions you have to answer truthfully", she says, sitting down again in her chair while gesturing me to sit down on one of the cots. Sensing my uneasiness, she adds: "Don't worry, I am bound by the doctor-patient confidentiality. Everything you say to me will be kept secret."

I nod, relaxing just a little bit. Good that that hasn't changed. Behind me, some medical gear is annoying me with its constant beeping.

"Good." She turns around to face me, a datapad in her hand and speaks with the authority only a doctor has."Now, what is your full name, what is your height and how old are you?"

I swallow before I answer. "My name is Jess Raven, although I have to admit that this is not my 'real' name. I took this name after I left my home three years ago, and to be honest, I would prefer to not state my birth name. It is dead for me." I flinch a little bit under her examining gaze before I continue. "I'm roughly 189 centimeters tall … six feet something, as far as I remember … and was born on the 10th November 2161, I think"

She nods slowly, averting her eyes to cast a look at her holographic PC - terminal – something. "The Commander has sent me a summary of what you told her about yourself, you don't have to say anything about your past if you don't want to." She turns back to look at me. "Although it is something we have to keep in mind for your physical examination." She tilts her head a little bit. "I must admit, I am curious: Where were you born?"

"Germany in the European Union."

A small smile creeps on her lips. I can't help but grin, too.

"Yeah, when I started learning English I tried to erase every trace of an accent... but several people told me already that I was not as successful as I would like."

She shakes her head, her smile now in full blossom. "It is not that bad. It's just that you mix different accents into your language. An observant hearer might notice that and find that the German accent seems more natural to you."

I sigh. "I'll keep trying, though."

She smiles for another few seconds before turning her attention back to her datapad. "How much do you weigh under Earth conditions?"

I frown. "I don't know. Last I checked – and that was months ago - something between 190 and 200 pounds."

She nods, a small frown on her face. "Well, you are rather broad built and muscular. It still is a bit too high, but nothing we can't solve with a strict training regime."

I was afraid she would say something like that._ Well, what's the saying for that? No Pain, no Gain?_

"Actually, that's not too bad, considering that you were a gang member. Supernutrition is easier to handle then the different types of malnutrition most gang members have."

I shrug. "The last gang I ran with was not like most of the other gangs", I answer the unspoken question. "We mostly stayed out of the street fights and did some higher class business. I won't tell you the details, only that we did far more 'white collar' crime then 'dirty work'. Our boss was a good guy; he did his very best to keep us out of trouble and well fed."

She nods slowly. "So you admit that you committed crimes."

I shrug indifferent. "We didn't deal damage to anyone besides people who deserved it. And those we worked against either were rich enough that they probably didn't even notice it all too much; or guys the world is better off without."

The doctor gives me a long glance before writing a note on her pad. _Some kind of a Robin-Hood-story I built here_, I think with a shudder. _Well, as long as it works._"I hope you don't mind me telling that to the Commander."

"I would have told her if she had questioned me." I said while shrugging for the third time.

"Alright", Chakwas says. "Any physical or other handicaps?"

Ah, here's the fun part. "I am nearsighted and probably a bit allergic against some things."

She gives me an incredulous look. "You're nearsighted?" _Just what do you think these glasses are for, lady?_ "Why didn't you have it already fixed? It is for free in any human clinic."

I shrug again. "I figured that I would need papers to undergo surgery, and besides, I've been wearing glasses for ten years now. Never really saw the need to replace them."

She frowns, tapping the gloved fingers of her left hand on the table while she thought. "I suppose we can do the surgical correction aboard. You'll need surgery anyway, I think I can perform the eye correction with it in one go."

_Wait, what?_ "I need surgery?"

Chakwas shoots me a glance. "Hasn't anybody informed you when you signed up?" I shake my head, and she closes her eyes for a second. I swear, I hear the usually cool as ice doctor mumbling something about "Udina" and "without anesthesia".

"Every Alliance marine gets some sort of genetic modification when he's cleared for duty", she explains. "The grade of gene-mods you get varies with your position. Since you're serving as a part of a special operations team, you will get outfitted with strength and endurance enhancers, some mods to enhance your healing and different kinds of immune system bolsters. I will give you a list of all modifications, and you can decide privately whether or not you want certain mods."

_Wow._ My head spins. _I knew Humanity is big on genetic modification around here, _I think,_ but I had no idea that a simple grunt like me gets these by default, too!_

"Thank you, Ma'am. I will think about it."

She nods, but before she can add something, a crack sounds at the ceiling.

* * *

"_This is Commander Shepard speaking."_

Chakwas raises her hand as if to keep me quiet and looks up.

"_We have our orders: Find Saren before he finds the Conduit."_

My eyes go wide in recognition.

"_I won't lie to you, crew: This mission isn't going to be easy."_

Shepard's voice is solid and full of determination.

"_For too long our species has stood apart from the others. Now it's time for us to step up and do our part for the rest of the galaxy! Time to show them what humans are made of!"_

I feel a surge of adrenaline flowing through my body, temporarily washing the tiredness of this long day away.

"_Our enemy knows we're coming. When we go into the Traverse, Saren's followers will be waiting for us. But we'll be ready for them, too!"_

"_Humanity needs to do this. Not just for our own sake, but for the sake of every other species in Citadel Space. Saren must be stopped! And I promise you all: We will stop him!"_

The intercom silences. A few long seconds later, I slowly lower my gaze to meet Chakwas's warm smile. A hint of pride is in it.

"Her speeches are quite touching, aren't they?"

Unable to speak, I only manage a nod.

"I was the one who treated her after the Battle of Elysium", she speaks softly, her eyes resting on pictures of the past. "She was just a young lieutenant back then. But everybody who saw her couldn't deny what an … inspiring effect she had, even on the more experienced and higher ranking officers. I think that, together with Captain Anderson, she's the best human who has ever served in the Alliance... and it's an honour to serve under her."

She silently smiles for another minute, before her gaze focuses back on the task at hand – namely, me.

"I really hope you'll learn not only to appreciate the war hero she is, but also the person behind it."

"I hope I will be able to do that, Ma'am."

She nods and says nothing for a few second before raising the datapad again. "Alright, let us continue. So... any serious injury or major illness you think worth noting?"

* * *

This continued for some minutes, then Chakwas asked me to strip out of my jeans and shirt and scanned me multiple times with her omni-tool. After that, a few exercises, some bending, and another complete scan.

The scans confirmed what I thought and had said to the doc. I was far from being trained, but had potential; not fit, but not too far away from it, and otherwise mostly healthy.

She marvelled a bit at my complete lack of modern-age treatment, but my faked background gave me a good excuse to give her vague answers and finally, she too thought the history I told her as true. She did, however, refresh my vaccinations and added some new against alien diseases. Also, some injections to prepare my body for the upcoming surgery. Thankfully I'm not afraid of needles.

One point though completely and utterly surprised me: Against all odds and my common sense, Karin Chakwas did not forbid me to smoke.

"I can't say I appreciate it", she said while eyeing my package of cigarettes I handed her (good stuff, rather expensive real tobacco from Earth bought on the Citadel), "but nowadays, modern medicine can negate most of the ingredients' negative effects as long as you keep your consumption rather low. However, I need you to cease it for at least the next three weeks. Otherwise, the nicotine may cause complications with your gene-mods. The same goes for alcoholic drinks."

_I will gratefully trade three weeks of my addiction for those life-long enhancements_, I thought with amusement.

The doctor had scheduled the surgery for the next day's 'evening' or whatever it is called on a starship. After that, she said, she could declare me fit for duty, even if only under the restriction of a strict fitness training schedule and diet _(I freakin' hate that word already)_ for at least the coming week. She comforted me with a laugh, saying that this treatment would be necessary anyway for my body to adapt to the new mods. Now that made me feel better...

Once we were finished, Chakwas offered to hand my clothing to the _NORMANDY's_ quartermaster for laundry and handed me my new uniform he had already sent. I admit, it felt good, getting dressed in the Alliance' blue short-sleeved uniform. Not that I'm that much of a militarist, but still. A knock on my chest convinced me that the top indeed has a ballistic vest weaved in and I stowed my possessions in the pant's pouches. I hesitated a moment, then, with a shrug, fixed the brassard on my right shoulder.

"I think you should head to the Cargo bay next", Dr. Chakwas said while I fought with the magnetic clamps of my boots, "Chief Williams has your equipment ready and is waiting for you."

I nodded while I stretched my back against the restrictive uniform top. _This will take time getting used to_. "Thank you, Ma'am. I'll go there right away."

She offered me a smile and sent me on my way with instructions on how to get to the C/E Deck. I am still embarrassed about myself that it took me the whole damned elevator ride to figure out that C/E is simply an abbreviation for Cargo/Engineering. _And you were studying at a university_. My thoughts wandered back home where I most likely am already missed. Sadness overcame me before I shook it off. _Dwell on it later._

* * *

Ashley spots me as soon as the elevator opens. She stands in front of her working bench, conversing with the _NORMANDY's_ requisition officer. I step outside the elevator and take in the surroundings. Sure enough, Wrex is to my left, leaning against some crates and casting me a single indifferent look before looking away. Garrus is on two o'clock, laying under the M-35 Mako and building the foundation of his infamous calibration-myth.

"Hey Raven, over here!"

I walk over to Ash and give her a somewhat lax salute. "Private Raven, reporting for duty, Ma'am."

They both look at me somewhat amused and Ash shakes her head.

"Okay. First, stop being so obviously _new_. That's an order."

I grin. She sighs.

"Second, how did your check-up go?"

"Good, mostly. Doctor Chakwas has cleared me for duty, as long as I keep a strict training regime." I shrug. "She thinks I need it."

"Yeah, I can second that."

I sigh. She grins.

The second officer clears his throat, ending our little game. Ash gestures at him.

"Private, this is the _NORMANDY's _requisitions officer, Gunnery Chief Postle."

We shake hands. _I bought you every goddamned armor license in the whole game,_ I think. _Now make it worth my while, please._

"Our Citadel HQ has sent us a few sets of armor and weapons. One of those sets is yours now."

Chief Postle points at the table, highlighting some black and dark blue blue pieces scattered around. My heartbeat quickens as I recognize them.

"Here you are," Postle says, "Aldrin Labs' Onyx Light Armor. Standard issue for Alliance Special Operations personnel."

Then he points on four crates next to the table. "And the standard weaponry as well – Hahne-Kedar Lancer, Storm, Avenger and Kessler."

_One moment._ "Where's the gear I brought with me?"

"There, inside that locker" says Ash, bringing my attention to the line of five lockers left to the table. My lips are twitching. _Poor Liara. I've stolen her locker._

The requisitions officer speaks another few words to Ashley, and after a last greeting turns around and moves over to his usual post.

I take a step and take a closer look at the set of armor, touching the different parts, taking everything in, the whole time sensing Ash's gaze on me. The ensemble smells clean, not the kind of clean you have when the thing in question is factory new but rather the one you get from throughout and extensively cleansing. Sure enough, I can't find even a hint of usage save for some minor scratches.

The armor consists of multiple layers of fabric, five overall, every one fulfilling another role – protection against climate, vacuum and so on. The exterior layer is rather stiff and can take some shrapnel damage, if necessary. And above that, various armor platings, either rigid ceramic stuff on immobile positions such as the chest or the plastic-kevlar-stuff I know from my ballistic vest.

I grab one of the armor's gauntlets. Surprisingly flexible for an armored glove. Well, not really – light armors are, after all, supposed to enable quick movement and high flexibility.

I sigh and let my shoulders slump and the head hang low, stifling a yawn.

"Everything alright?"

I yawn and meet Ash's slightly concerned gaze.

"Yeah, more or less. Sorry, Ma'am, it's just... it was a long day."

A look at my watch tells me that it's now roughly 8 o'clock PM. Has it really only been ten hours since I left the hotel?

_And in those ten hours I have "saved" a damsel in distress, had my first firefight, met a lot of important people, witnessed the induction of the first human SPECTRE, joined the Alliance, joined Shepards's Squad, almost got my ass killed, had a physical examination and drunk some whiskey. Aaaah... and I won a bet._

If that's the average daily amount of action, then it definitely won't get boring around here._ And I called Mass Effect 1 boring once_, I think with tired cynicism in my mind. _ Compared to the the other 2 parts, at least._

_No, don't think about it just yet. Saren, now. Collectors, later._

"I see..." says Ashley Williams, again looking sightly amused. "Well, it's now now Eighteen-twenty-five. You don't look like we can do that armor exercise this evening... and since it's your first day,", she says with a surprising smugness I her voice,"the Commander probably won't let you scrub the bulkhead because you're too early for dinner."

I smile, knowing that Ash over-exaggerates Shepard's cruelness. Paragon-Shepard won't do that. _I hope._

"Dinner sounds quite good, Ma'am."

"Alright, follow me!" she says quite cheerful. _She's fed up as well_, I think with a broad grin as I walk behind her.

We are about to enter the elevator when a loud metal_ bang!_ sounds through the whole deck. Wrex looks up and shrugs before continuing... whatever the hell he is doing. Garrus' movements under the Mako stop for the fracture of a second before he continues. Requisition officer Postle continues as if nothing happened.

I, on the other hand, jump. Quite embarrassing, considering that Ash doesn't even flinch.

"What the hell was that?"

She looks at me as if I had grown a second head, then she realizes that I really have no idea.

"Relax. That was just the sound of the disengaging dock clamps, nothing more."

_We're on our way,_ I realize a second later, while a wild mix of joy, fear and awe washes over me. It must have shown, because Ash chuckles lightly.

"You really have never been in space, huh?"

There is no mockery in her tone, so I relax and answer: "Not really, Ma'am, aside from that one flight to the Citadel... and then I was more concerned about getting caught or having an accident or something."

She smiles slightly, which is more then I have ever seen from her in the game. On a friendly-only basis, that is. _Either I really did something wrong while I was playing, or the 'human-centric bitch' part is still in preparation. _

We enter the elevator, and once the door closes, something changes in Ash's posture. Her self-confidence cracks, her smile becomes a bit strained, her right hand is rubbing her neck.

"I... must apologize for holding you at gunpoint. I thought... ", she trails off.

_Miracles happen around here._ "It's alright," I answer with a reassuring smile. "If our roles had been reversed, I probably would have done the same."

She looks at me, not really convinced, but when she opens her mouth I interrupt her. "Look, Ma'am, it wasn't too bad at all. At least you only made me surrender – back on Earth, someone would have tried to shoot me, most likely. Plus, you _did_ speak for me when Shepard asked, so if anything, I should thank you. So... Thank You... Ma'am." I add hastily. That military bravado will take some time to get used to. _Can't I just call you Ash and get it over with?_

Her lips twitch again, this time to form a sarcastic smile. "Before you get too worked up, one tip: You _may_ greet NCO's with "Ma'am" or "Sir", you don't _have_ to. Only commissioned officers, for example the Lieutenants Pressley and Alenko and the Commander have to be saluted and greeted properly. That being said," she gave me an inquisitive glance, "do you even know what the difference between NCO and CO is?"

"Yes. Non-commissioned officers are, to put it simply, high-ranked enlisted personnel – they started out as Serviceman or Private and worked their way up" I rattle of what I remember, "while one has to attend an officer's school to become a commissioned officer. NCO's usually commandeer small squad-strength units while a CO takes control of platoon-strength units or more. CO's are usually visible by their distinctive uniforms, while NCOs wear the same simple uniform enlisted personnel-"

The opening elevator door brings me out of my concept.

"Impressive.", says Ash, and it seems to be genuinely, "Usually the FNGs need some hours of kitchen service to remember something like that." I shudder. "Maybe it won't take as long to get all of that in your head as I thought."

"I heard Flight Lieutenant Moreau call me like that already. What does FNG mean?"

Gunnery Sergeant Ashley Madeline William's lips twist into a crooked smile.

"'Freaking new guy'."

* * *

We moved upstairs to the ship's mess – or rather, the Officer's Mess. As Ash explained to me, the enlisted personnel usually stays on the Crew's Deck beneath the CIC.

"You're lucky. You're now part of the squad, so you access the Officer's Deck and even sleep here."

_Alright. So this ship has a whole deck you never visit ingame, _I thought. _Well, that does solve some of the game's plotholes. _I made a mental note to find out what's up with that deck._ Can't be too important... restrooms n stuff, most likely.  
_

We moved over to the... well, 'kitchen' is a little far-fetched. 'Cooking niche' would be more accurate. A coffee machine – _hail the caffeine god!_ -, a refrigerator, a dishwasher and a goddamned oversized microwave oven was all that was installed. _Could be my student apartment back home.  
_

I carefully noted how this was the area where one usually finds Kaidan ingame. He was nowhere to be found, however; and everything was working quite orderly. _So, what the hell is he working on all the time?_

"Before we start," said Ash with mock seriousness, grabbing two trays of food from the refrigerator and putting it into the oven, "lemme warn you. Treat this food with utmost care and Tabasco before you even take a bite."

I felt my features forming a worried expression. "Joker warned me, but Kaid- I mean, Lieutenant Alenko said that I shouldn't believe a word word of what he says. So... this food is as bad as he made it sound?"

Ash gave me a meaningful look. "It is rumoured that Alliance' military rations are as likely to kill you as the enemy."

I sighed. _Which, all things considered, happens more often then I'd like, _I think darkly.

"I didn't expect haute cuisine when I signed up, five stars and all, you know" I said aloud, glaring at the still closed tray. "But I hoped that, at least, we would be able to prepare our own meals."

"That's 'prototype turned SPECTRE-hunting ship' for you." a familiar voice sounded from behind.

Ash and myself spun on our heels to see Shepard behind us, now in her ship uniform and with a smile grazing her features. "For all the money AllCom put into this, they seemingly couldn't afford a mess sergeant."

Ash saluted and I followed suit, only a split-second later. "Commander."

She chuckled. "At ease, you two." Then she grabbed another tray – unlike the other two, that one was marked with an orange stripe – put it inside and turned the oven on. "Already finished with the Arms&amp;Armor training?"

Ash shook her head. "Chief Postle and myself showed Raven his new gear, but the Private looked like he could use a break." I nodded supportingly.

"I see." Shepard said with understanding. "It's never easy, shifting to another ship's cycle. Raven, when was the last time you have slept?"

"More or less fourteen hours ago, Ma'am."

She nodded. "Alright. I'd say you sleep with the next shift at 2200 and continue tomorrow. It's useless doing that exercise if you're not all there."

The _pling!_ of the oven interrupted her. Everyone grabbed his tray and a can of coke, then we walked over to the table. I sat down next to Ashley, opposite of Shepard. A gaze upwards told me that the orange holocreens displayed some technical information I absolutely don't understand.

My gaze then fell on the markings on Shepard's tray. "If you don't mind me asking, Commander: What's the meaning behind that orange symbol?"

She looked down, then to me and grinned. "That's a special ration for biotic users. We need more juice then most other humans, and those trays contain the _good_ stuff."

_Oh._ "So you're a biotic?"

"Yeah, I'm what's called a Vanguard. Three-emms."

I raised an eyebrow. She grinned.

"Medium armor. Mediocre biotics. Mean shotguns."

Now it was my turn to grin. "Sounds dangerous. I like it."

She grinned for another few second before opening it up.

Ash and I did the same, and now I saw quite impressively why these rations don't have the best reputation.

"Before I forget it: I'll do a briefing tomorrow at zero-ninehundred to get the whole squad up to speed. Comm-room." said Shepard while grabbing fork and knife.

"Aye-aye.", answered Ash, taking a bite.

_I certainly don't lack for fantasy, but I have no idea what that is. That mass over there looks like it could have been a steak once... no, no, too thin. Or? And that, that could've been noodles... once. Sauce looks kinda grey... something with cream?_

Noticing the amused glances of both women on me, I gave a defeated shrug and took a bite.

"And?", said Ashley with a broad – and evil, I could't help but notice – grin.

I swallowed and smiled back, as difficult as it was while grimacing.

"Let me put it that way. I ate a rat once. This …" I searched my omnitool for the correct English word, "_grub_ here comes close. Now Chief, would you be so kind and pass me your Tabasco? Please?"

* * *

Some minutes later we had finished our meal. Even me – after I killed every single nerve in my tongue with Tabasco, that is. _Whoever stirred this BS together_, I thought while drinking my coke, _deserves a firing squad – or ten weeks of his own medicine_. At least the drinks are enjoyable. _Then again, it is impossible to fuck up coke in cans._ _And Gardner's cooking was called bad_, I remembered, suddenly anticipating Mass Effect 2 with much less enthusiasm. _Wonder how many Alliance ships already experienced a mutiny._

Thinking of how nutrient paste would still be better, I realize that Tali would probably want to speak with me - she must have some questions. _Tomorrow_. I yawn yet again. _Today I'll either babble or sleep while standing. _

While we were... well, _eating_, Shepard and Ashley had a rather amicable conversation about this and that, never touching the subject of our mission. I was mostly ignored, but that was alright - I had a duel to death with this so-called 'dinner' and merley perked up my ears to grab some bits of 'galactic gossip'.

But as we picked up our trays to bring them to the dishwasher, I couldn't help but ask. "Sorry, Commander, but what are our next steps?"

As if I had said a keyword, Shepard's features go from sated/relaxed/friendly to CO/SPECTRE/not so friendly.

"Guess it was just a matter of time 'til someone would ask the question... no, don't worry, I understand why you ask", she interruted my attempted excuse.

"I won't go into details right now, we'll talk about that at the briefing tomorrow. But, to cut it short: Running after Saren is useless, he's gone. And we got three potential points of interest we have to visit... and no fully trained squad." She took a look at her right arm, where her omni-tool's chrono showed the time in glowing orange.

"We also got ourselves some assignements we can do if we get the chance.", she continued. "I think I will take some days to get you all into shape - especially you, Raven, and Tali - and take a look into some of these assignements. We need some Credits to get better equipement, also, it can't be bad to have some favors with the higher-ups." _Must be the mission for Kahoku_, I thought. _Fucking thresher maw._ "In the meantime, Alliance Intelligence will take a look at our three primary objectives. Once you're all meshed up, we'll go there."

_A sound plan_, I decided after brief consideration. _Just like I did. Without some intelligence agencies working for me, that is. _

"Alright, Ma'am - thank you."

She nodded again. "I recommend that you catch some shut-eye now. Better rest too much then too less, considering what you're up to. Chakwas told me about your eyes. Unfortunate, but manageable. Tomorrow I want you to take it easy - those gen-mod OP's aren't something to be trifled with, I can tell you."

I salute. "Aye-Aye, Ma'am."

"Williams, show Raven how to use a sleeper pod, and then come down to your station - I need to talk with you about some armor mods we just recieved."

"Aye-Aye, Ma'am."

"Good. Raven, I also recommend that you take your shower in the morning. Most of our guys prefer to shower in the evening from what I can tell, so the shower rooms are pretty crowded right now." She took another look at her omni-tool, before frowning and looking at Ashley. "I should go - Dr. Chakwas says she has something. Raven, I'll see you tomorrow at 0900. Good night."

"Yes, Ma'am. Good night."

She took a few steps, but then turned around, a small smile gracing her lips. Something showed in her features I've barely seen there before - a bit of... shyness? Self-consciousness? I don't know, and maybe my eyes decieved me. _Someone like the Commander isn't self-conscious._

"One moment. I had almost forgotten something."

* * *

She extends her hand, and I take it in a firm grip. Her smile widens and reaches her bright green eyes. Some kind of gratitude lies in there, gratitude that I had volunteered to help her on this dangerous and difficult mission. To bring down the most dangerous SPECTRE and prevent the return of the Reapers. To go against all odds and even when her own employers doubted her.

What she didn't know was that, in fact, I had volunteered for far more than that. I had volunteered for the Reaper War, and for the three years and hell lot of adventure, bloodshed, danger and whatever you name, even before that.

_ And I won't let you down, Shepard._

"Welcome aboard the _NORMANDY,_ Raven."

I smile my smile, a bit crooked, but genuine.

"Happy to be here, Commander."

* * *

_**A/N:** Hello again, fellas! I must apologize for the week-long delay... RL decided to be bitchy on me, and I am in the middle of preparing for my exams. Unfortunately, it is quite possible that I can't release the next chapter as planned at the end of this month... I'll try to make it up with two chapters in August, though. Maybe - maybe! - three, if the circumstances allow._

_Some of you might question some of the things I did in this chapter. If so, please write me either a PM or a Review. I'd prefer a review, first, it makes my story look better (^^), second, whenever I go through the reviews I'll be reminded of what you guys said and can work accordingly, even in future chapters._

_Ugh... sorry if what I'm writing makes little sense. We in Germany are currently struggeling under the summer heat (37 degree Celsius! Wtf!), making everything even harder. And no, not what **you** are thinking. Jesus... Expect me to edit this chapter once it's a bit cooler, so I can replace some basic words with something more fancy. Translating isn't fun at the moment..._

_Anyway. I can't exactly tell you when the next Chapter will be released. I plan for the end of July,but mid August is more likely. _

_Hope you guys had fun so far! Next time, I think we'll do a sidequest or two, and after that - the first main mission. Stay tuned! And, please, if you have anything you wanna say, consider giving this story a review. Thanks. :)_

_Last edit: 2.8.2015 - erased some grammatic issues and added another paragraph._


	6. FourTwo - NORMANDY: Getting Started

**Chapter 4.2 – NORMANDY: Getting Started - Part 2**

I woke up at 0600 in the morning by the sleeper pod's internal alarm, together with the rest of the first shift. But at the time I had managed to crawl out of that _goddamned tin-can_, the others had already cleared the floor, leaving it up to me to follow them to prepare for my first day in the Marine Corps. _You're in the Army now... oh-ohoh, you're in the Army now... _At least Ash had left me with exact instructions so I wouldn't get lost.

The pod was quite comfortable actually, but sleeping inside it was nonetheless ...weird. Not only do you basically sleep while standing, no, it even has its own, mass effect-regulated gravity – which negates the usual artificial Earth-like gravity on-board and replaces it with its own. Only half as strong... and projected in an angle which makes it seem like you're sleeping while laying. The fact that I felt like in a glass coffin didn't make falling asleep any easier. Still, exhaustion took it's toll fast enough and I woke up feeling rested.

Next step was a visit on the Crew Deck... the mysterious deck from out of nowhere. Ash had told me that my expectations had been partially right – there weren't many points of interest, but nonetheless many important sections for the ship's smooth running. The crew quarters for example, or the crew's mess hall, or simple things like storage rooms for the … well, "food". Or the laundry room, and a room with gear for physical training, in short, everything you would expect from an actual navy ship with a live crew.

_Kinda sad that BioWare didn't take the time to properly reproduce this,_ I thought while grabbing spare clothing and a towel from my own locker in the changing room. _Not that you would spend much time here._

Then I spent the whole shower time theorizing whether BioWare has copied the 'real' _NORMANDY_ into their game without or they have truly _created_ the NORMANDY with the crew deck, but didn't implemented it in their game because of reasons.

I ended up slightly burning my hand on the water boiler.

_And this is why I always drink my coffee **before** I shower, _I sarcastically thought while pressing my hand against the cool metal plating of the shower room wall.

* * *

I enter the officer's mess at 0727. It's almost empty; the shift's officers are long gone to take their positions or go asleep. Only two persons are sitting at the table – a silver-haired Dr. Chakwas and a violet-clad Tali'Zorah vas _Normandy_.

_No,_ I correct myself, _at this point it's still 'nar Rayya.'._

_Kinda creepy, being able to look two years in the future. _

_Wow. Only realized it now?  
_

They sat opposite of each other and looked like they were in a discussion, but the doc notices me and raises her head, causing Tali to turn around and seeing me approaching at her side.

"Ah, Good Morning, Raven", says the doc, greeting me with a polite nod of her head. "Some coffee?"

"Yeah, thanks", I say, gratefully accepting the still steaming cup while sitting down next to her.

I sniff, then smile. "Wait, is that real coffee? Like, actual bean coffee? Not that machine swill?"

Chakwas laughs, a pleasant thing to hear at this early hour. "I am a Navy doctor for almost forty years now. I always keep a private stash of earthly coffee with me. And not even the Commander knows, where."

Smiling, I take a deep swing, closing my eyes to let the taste take effect. _Yeah, definitely better than the Navy brew_, I decide.

I open my eyes to find Tali looking at me.

"Good Morning to you, too, Tali. I hope you have settled in quite well?"

I hardly, _hardly _manage to suppress my grin this time. Talis features once again show the seemingly universal signs of fluster. Somehow the grin ends as a gentle smile. _You better get used to that. It will only get worse with Liara aboard. _

"Um, y-yes. Everyone is nice to me, and this ship is amazing! The drive core in particular, it is twice the size of a normal frigate core! And everything is so neat, the propulsion in particular is so well thought out. A TBX-83 coupling system, can you imagine? The newest system it seems, I've only ever worked at a 76 and that was a mess, but the new 83 works so efficient..."

* * *

She continued her tech-blurb for a while while steadily increasing the amount of tech-vocabulary used. I was... overwhelmed. I simply let it happen and drank my coffee while trying to look as if I knew what she was talking about. I fought with myself if I should interrupt her... and finally did it.

"I appreciate that you're telling me all this, Tali, " I said as gently as possible," but I hardly understand anything."

She stopped and I'm quite sure had quite a confused look on her face.

"Not every human is as versed in ship engines as Adams, my dear", said Chakwas with a smile.

"I barely know how to use my omni-tool." I admitted.

Tali was not really shocked. At least her body language said something else. Then again, quarian body language is probably different from human.

"I-I'm sorry. I thought... well, I thought it would be common knowledge aboard a human ship. Every quarian child knows how an engine works …. ah, not that you humans are dumb, but... oh, _keelah_." she groaned and looked down as if she wanted to be anywhere but here.

"You don't need to excuse yourself. It's just that a human ship works different from a quarian one. Doctor Chakwas here, for example, has almost no knowledge about the technical aspects of a ship - if I'm not telling anything stupid now, that is."

"Well, I do know how to use my own medical devices." she answered dryly. I nodded a bit sheepishly. _Ouch._ "But I know what you are trying to say. Everyone aboard a human ship is a specialist. The physician is only responsible for medical issues, the helmsman flies and so on. I assume that every quarian can attend to every engine on a quarian ship?"

"That's right." Tali said, looking interested. "Everyone has to contribute to his ship, and everyone has to be able to for example, repair the engines in case of an emergency."

I nodded supporting. "The Migrant Fleet cannot afford to specialize its personnel like for example the Alliance Navy can. You lack the resources to do so. But unlike other races, your ships are your home – which means that you never have to worry about recruitment and have to keep your ships running anyway. The result: Everybody knows how to maintain a ship."

I looked at both of them and raised my hands in defeat. "Okay, I'm stepping down of the soap box now. Just ignore me. Must be the coffee."

_Note to self: Shut up sometimes_. I took another swig.

"Very insightful." said Chawas. I was grateful that there was only a very slight trace of sarcasm. I looked up to meet her gaze with my usual tired-sarcastic look I had reserved for such occasions.

But Tali looked genuinely interested, maybe even impressed. I was so glad that she isn't used to the nuances of human language - for now.

"Why do you know so much about quarians?"

"I've been reading a lot about the different races. Most extranet sources describe your people as beggars, thieves and so on. And they blame you for the geth. Well, I got fed up with that shit and looked for reliable sources. How quarians live aboard the Flotilla. How your society works. Stuff like that." I shrugged. "I learned the hard way that few things are like they seem or like people say they are, and I want to know as much as possible before judging. Luckily I found some good works about your people, for example one called 'The quarian race in today's age' written by a salarian called Ferson Sinus. A great work. Unfortunately, barely anyone read it."

"That's … strange", she says, first looking angry at the 'thieves and beggars' and then getting more and more confused. "I... sorry, but, well... from what I heard, I assumed that humans wouldn't be that.. understanding."

"They call us brash and aggressive" I nodded. "And maybe they're partially right. And maybe a lot of humans are unwilling to understand what is going on in the galaxy." _Especially Terra Firma and those Cerberus traitors._ "But given my... history, I had no choice but to try and see more than what meets the eye."

"Your history?"

I sigh. "You have no idea what the Isolationists are, have you?"

"Well... no.", she admitted. "I only saw that every other human was shocked... why?"

I stared into my cup, looking into my mirror image on the black surface.

"It is not easy to explain to an alien... well, maybe it is for a quarian. Think of the Migrant Fleet. From what I know, your people don't care much about the galaxy except when you go on your Pilgrimage."

She nodded.

"Now assume that you would never had the chance to go on your pilgrimage. Furthermore, assume that your leaders told you that you were alone in the galaxy. That there was no one else in the void. Then add a massive xenophobia and that said leaders try to brainwash you into thinking just like them."

My tone became bitter as I continued to stare down into my cup. "Then assume you found it out when you turned adult. Assume that your parents lied to you because in their arrogance, they wanted to take your liberty to decide on your own away from you. Because they thought their way was the only right one. And then assume that you decided to do your Pilgrimage on your own. No. Matter. What."

"_Keelah._" The shock was evident.

"I'm sorry." I sighed, raising my gaze again and giving Tali a tired look. I felt dirty to lie like that. But I had no choice. "Those things are now long past, and I like to think that I'm holding up better than my parents could ever hope for in their idiocy." I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. "If it's alright with you, I'd like to talk about something else."

The intercom cracked on the ceiling, and an unknown voice spoke: "_Miss Zorah, please come down to Engineering, we are ready to run the test on the Tantalus._"

Tali was on her feets in a second. "I'll be right there, Chief." She made a nervous gesture with her hand. "I'm sorry, Raven, I have to go – n-not that you think I don't like to talk to you, but-"

"It's alright", I say and even manage a smile despite everything. "It's not like we're not going to have time to talk on our journey. Come find me whenever you like. "

"T-Thank you. See you later!" And with that, she was gone.

"See ya, Tali" I shouted after her but she probably didn't even hear me anymore.

_Interesting that I seem to have the upper hand in our talks,_ I thought while reflecting. _Must be her shyness at the beginning of the game. Let's see where this goes. _

"You know that you don't have to talk about your past if you don't want to.",Chakwas said softly and gently. Only now did I notice that she had kept herself out in the past few minutes. "The aliens might not know much about it, but the humans aboard know enough not to bother you about it."

"It's fine, Ma'am." I answer before emptying my cup. It failed to wash the bad taste away. "I'm mostly over it. Except for if I ever meet my father again. Then one of us will die."

* * *

A few minutes later I had eaten my breakfast – consisting of fruit, cereals and milk and making up for that catastrophe from the evening before – and was talking with the Dr. about the upcoming surgery.

We went through the list of mods. I had read it and, at first, had no words for it. It sounded like straight from a sci-fi novel – then I remembered myself that I now _was_ inside one. I didn't understand much of what the mods would do, exactly, but I did understand what effects they would have.

For example, "minor adjustments" at my lungs would improve the rate at which they would filter oxygen from the air I breathed. An implant near my liver would enhance my blood to transport said oxygen easier to where it would be needed, even improving the rate with which it was reproduced when I lost some or was scabbing to close open wounds. A modified immune system which, combined with modern age vaccination and stuff would almost eliminate the risk of sickness. Even a freaking reflex booster to reduce the reaction time.

The mods, in short the 'Class-B Alliance Infantry Upgrade Package', were no Warhammer 40.000 mods for Space Marines, mind you. No toxic bite, no three-meter-tall killing machine body engineering, nothing like that. The muscle enhancers would enhance my strength, as an example, but I still would have to work for it.

"They are increasing the rate at which the calories you take to you is transformed into muscle mass, nothing more." said Chakwas, slightly grinning at my slightly disappointed look. "You will still have to work out to increase your strength. But it will be much, much easier than before."

All things considered, that was a good summary and a fitting description. I'll still have to work for my place in the squad. But thanks to the modifications, it wouldn't be a completely helpless attempt anymore.

"The whole operation should take roughly four, maybe five hours plus another hour for your eyes." Chakwas said as we both raised from the table.

"But your body will need its time to adjust. I will keep you sedated for an additional twelve hours and recommend that, if anything, the Commander puts you on light duty for an additional two or three days. Don't underestimate what's coming, it's very difficult for your body to adept." she warned me. "And draining. Remember to stick your diet plan and only eat from the supplies marked with a violet bar."

"I will. It can't be worse then what the Alliance seems to usually feed to their people anyway."

"There's many a twixt between cup and lip", Chakwas answered with the ghost of a smile on her lips. Somehow that didn't really raise my morale – once I translated the meaning. Damned proverbs! "I will call you over the intercom when we can begin. It won't be earlier then 1630. Until then, enjoy your day."

I thanked her and turned around, walking to the stairs down to the CIC while the doctor went into the opposite direction towards her medbay.

_Do I have to be concerned when a doc says that I should enjoy the day before surgery?_ I mused, feeling not very comfortable in my skin while saluting XO Pressley on my way to the briefing room.

_No, no. Dr. Chakwas managed to keep Garrus alive after a direct hit with a missile and Kaidan after he got his ass handed to him by Dr. Eva Coré aka. EDI's body. She won't have any problems with a routine surgery._

_Hopefully. Please._

* * *

My clock shows 8 hours and 48 minutes right now. The communications room's doors close behind me and I walk down to the circle of seats. No one else is here.

I step into the middle of said circle and then take a random seat, enjoying the calm. My gaze falls upon the communicator at the head side and I can't but have to scowl at it. _So that's where Shepard will learn a whole new dimension of patience. Unless she decides to let Joker pull the plug. Then it starts to be hilarious._

"_Commander, is this some kind of game to you to hang up on us?" "You get it." Aaaaand we're out."_

I grin at the memory, then hear a soft hiss. I look to the left and see the Commander enter the room as on cue. She seems surprised to see me, though.

"Already here, Raven?"

I smile at her. "Yes. Don't have anything else to do and didn't want to stand in everyone's way. And", the smile dropping to sarcasm while I wave dismissively with my hand, "I felt like I had to fulfill my daily fare of stereotype. _Deutsche Pünktlichkeit_ and so on."

Shepard snorts and rolls her eyes, but a smile plays on her lips.

"Thank your ancestors. Being punctual is always a good thing when you're military."

She leans her back on the chair opposite of me. Arms crossed, she gives me a curious glance.

"To be honest, I'm a bit surprised that you don't seem to have any problems to fit in here, really."

"Yeah, I still can't believe what just happened." I say, giving her a kinda humorous look. "I mean, yesterday I woke up thinking: 'Another day on the search for a decent passage to Omega'".

I spread my arms, making a gesture that can easily be translated as 'WTF?'.

"And today, not even 24 hour later I am sitting in the com-center of the best damned frigate humanity has, serving in the freakin' Alliance Marine Corps under the legendary Lioness of Elysium who just happens to be our first SPECTRE and am on the hunt for another legendary SPECTRE, partially thanks to me sitting in a bar."

I lean back, answering her amused look with a tired grin of my own. "Admit it, it sounds like the script for a really bad movie, eh, vid. Or my personal free ticket for the asylum." _And that's only the short version, my dear._

She laughs. "Try my side. Two days ago I was just Captain Anderson's XO on a shakedown run."

She sighs, gazing into empty air. "Then everything went to hell."

_Trust me, it will only get worse from here on_.

"I heard what happened on Eden Prime", I say, carefully not to upset Shepard. "But from what I understand, you had no chance to get either Jenkins or Kryik out of there alive."

"Still, it... sucks to loose people like that." She shakes her head.

A minute passes with neither of us saying a word.

"I have no idea if I really fit in that well," I break the silence by changing the topic back. "I'm afraid I will have problems with, well... shutting up when I'm not needed."

Shepard raises her eyebrow.

"Um, I mean, there won't be any problems with me not following your orders" I add quickly. "It's more that, frankly spoken, I don't give a damn about protocol and the chain of command and will voice my opinion when I have one... I hope that's not a problem."

"Ah." She smiles. "Don't worry too much. We all here know that you're only wearing this uniform because Udina made you do it. In fact, I hope that you speak up from time to time. I prefer it when my subordinates aren't just mechs obeying their orders without question."

_She __**is**__ Paragon._ "Thank you, Shepard. And, yeah, thank you again for offering me this chance. I will not fuck up if I can help it."

She continues to smile, but it now has a certain sad note. "Thank you again for being here. Just don't try to be the big hero, alright? Jenkins wanted to be one. Now he's six feet deep."

It hits a little bit too close home, but I know that the Commander is right. She's the one with a decade of military experience, not me. My answer consists of lax but respectful salute. "Aye-aye, Ma'am."

She opens her mouth, but in that same moment the lock opens and Ash and Kaidan descend down the stairs, Tali and Garrus in tow. Shepard closes it again, nods in my direction and moves over to stand in her usual spot – usual for me at least.

A minute later the lock opens again to reveal Wrex seemingly even more gruffy and in a bad mood than the day before. Either he slept leaning against 'his' crates, didn't sleep at all or didn't have his coffee in the morning. _Most likely a combination of all three_, I decide after a minute of thought.

* * *

"Alright, thank you all for being here", Shepard said while everyone took his seat.

"I want to make this quick. We all know by now what is at stake; Saren must be stopped at all costs. The only question is how we do it."

She stepped a few steps forward, activated her omnitool and projected three pictures in the middle of our cycle. I recognized them but kept my mouth shut.

"We have three possible locations intel suggests we should pay a visit," Shepard continued. "First of all, Feros."

She clicked on her tool, and the other two images vanished while the picture of Feros stretched out to filled the vacant place in the air, complete with the basic codex data.

"Feros is one of the younger human colonies," Shepard said "privately funded by the ExoGeni Corporation and built upon the ruins of a prothean megacity. Still in the 'pioneer' stage. 300 population. And it went dark two days ago, reportedly to Geth activity."

She made a gesture and zoomed in. I immediately recognized the picture, it was the one from the mission screen in Mass Effect 1. The ancient prothean skyscrapers tearing through the clouded sky. Only difference – no fire. As of now.

I glanced at the picture, subconsciously biting at my thumb nail: A colony of zombies, both mind-controlled human ones and plant ones. I'm definitely not looking forward to battling the Thorian – and I hope that Shepard will spare Shiala.

"Intel says we have no idea what is going on, but High Command is already talking to ExoGeni about sending a team of marines. Might be possible that we won't even have to get ourselves there, but if they keep blocking the Alliance' requests, we will go there with SPECTRE authorization. They can't argue with that."

_I hope they need us to get there_, I thought with a bit of worry. _Where else can we get the Cipher from?_

The Commander, oblivious to my thoughts, asked if anyone had a question. No one came, so she gestured again and Feros shrunk back while the other two panels reappeared.

"Then there is Noveria."

Another click, and we had the opportunity to study the frozen hellhole in all it's ugliness.

Of all main planets in Mass Effect 1, I dislike Noveria the most. First, the cold that can definitely freeze your ballz of if you're not careful. Second, the space port with the corrupt chairmen and grey and cold building style. Third, the damned Rachni with their acid. Fourth... it's the place where Liara's mother will die.

I suddenly had a bad taste in my mouth.

"Noveria is a backwater planet, but a high-classed one. That's the place where big corporations go when they need to do something illegal or controversial" Shepard said and it was impossible to overhear her disdain.

"I have no idea what we have to expect there. We only know that, according to Captain Anderson, we have confirmed sightings of Geth units near this planet. The logical conclusion is that Saren either wants some kind of experimental gear or classified research. Given that Noveria is infamous for its hotlabs..." she trailed off.

"You can bet that if there's one place where shit hits the fan, its that one, Shepard." Wrex growled, eyeing the holographic image with even more narrowed eyes. "Was there only one time. Cleaning up some shit from a failed experiment. Heh. On Noveria, you're as likely to get stabbed in your back as on Omega. Just that they don't actually stab you. They have... other methods."

We all felt a lot less comfortable at this moment.

"Regardless," said Shepard, stroking her chin, "we won't go there at the moment anyway. Noveria is outside Citadel space. They have agreed to allow SPECTREs planetside but... well, let's just say that they still have to prove that they're serious about it."

She gestured again and Noveria disappeared.

"Third and last, the Artemis Tau Cluster."

The third picture appeared, but is was barely more than a shaded random planet with a white question mark on it.

"We know that Matriarch Benezia's daughter, Dr. Liara T'Soni, is supposed to be on one of the planets in Artemis Tau," Shepard continued. "Unfortunately, we don't know where exactly. All we know is that she's supposed to be an expert on the protheans and an archaeologist. Our best bet is to look at the planets in the Cluster with an excavation site. The Alliance Intelligence Service is looking into this and it shouldn't take too long to get results, there are only a few planets there which have prothean ruins – and every single one is either under Alliance or asari control. "

She tapped her omnitool another time, and the projection flared and vanished. Then she looked up, directing her glance to everyone of us.

"We are currently heading towards Artemis Tau. Two reasons. First, Saren or the geth haven't been sighted in the territory yet, so chances are they too don't know where to find Liara."

"But Feros is as far as we know under attack right now, and nobody knows what kind of hell they are trying to raise on Noveria, Ma'am." Kaidan interrupted her.

Shepard merely nodded. "True. But if Saren is already at Feros, the odds are that we will arrive too late to stop him no matter what. And Noveria's security is supposed to be good enough to at least notice when Geth are arriving – and so far, we don't have any reports from there. If we find Liara first, however, we might be able to get her without having to worry about the Geth. If she knows something and is safely aboard, Saren looses valuable intel without any chance of getting it back."

Her tone changed slightly to a more passionate one.

"Second: I will _not_ allow anyone to get kidnapped by that backstabbing scum."

_Hah, can't argue with that_, I thought. Apparently, neither could anyone else, so we all stayed silent and nodded.

"Any more questions?"

Silence.

"Alright, that's all for now. Just one more thing."

Shepard looked in everyone's eyes. Her gaze was steady, her voice wielding a power that forced you to listen.

"We're supposed to arrive in at the Artemis Tau in a week. But I'll say it plain: In our current state, we can't hope to defeat Saren. When we hit the dirt, we are only – at a max! - seven people against a whole army of Geth. Some of us don't even have sufficient military-standard training." Her gaze wandered to Tali, who shifted a bit uncomfortably and me, who looked right back a Shepard and gave have a serious nod.

"Except for me and Alenko, no one here is Alliance SpecOps." She continued. "All seven of us come from different background, different worlds. I know that there is some tension between you and that there might be more coming. But we can't waste any time with fighting each other, not with so much at stake."

I may be wrong, but didn't her gaze briefly drift to Ash in this moment?

"If we want to have any chance in stopping Saren before it's to late, we need to work as a team! A unit! So I'll do whatever I have to make sure that you all can work together and, more importantly, trust each other on the field. We will practice with each other, daily. Whenever we can go planetside, we will, even if it is only to use it as a shooting range. If we can't hit the dirt, we'll practice in the cargo bay. We will do this every day, multiple times if we have to – until I feel we are all meshed up and ready to bring the fight to Saren."

She stepped out of the circle and overlooked us all.

"This is your last chance to get out. It is very possible that not all of us are getting out of this alive. I don't care if you're ordered on this mission; I don't care if you gave your word and now have doubts about this. I will neither lead any one of you into probable death if he isn't sure about this - nor will I call anyone a coward who wants out."

A short silence followed where we all collected our thoughts. A silence Wrex was the first to break.

"Hah. You don't scare me, Shepard." He rumbled. Then flashed a toothy grin. "I dealt with worse before. And I'm still alive."

"Likewise, Commander." Garrus said.

"I will stay too, Shepard." came Tali's voice from my left.

"And I haven't dealt with the bureaucratic crap only to chicken out before it even starts, Ma'am." I added.

A simple "Thank you." was the answer we got, but was there more to say?

"If you have any questions or thoughts about all of this, talk to me. I'll check up with everyone as soon as I can. Williams, take Raven with you and get him inside his new armor. Check if its okay and adjust or improvise where necessary. Garrus, I would like to speak with you in CIC. Everyone else to his usual post. Dismissed."

We raised from our seats and went out, some talking to each other, some silent and keeping to themselves. I was the last one. Before I left, I took a look over my shoulder.

There Shepard stood in the middle of the now empty cycle of chairs. She kept her head low and stared at the ground while bracing her hand on her hips.

_She's either thinking of a shower, or is wondering if we are able to do this, _I thought and turned around, leaving the communications room._ Don't worry too much, Shep. Hunting Saren and Geth is peanuts. Fighting Collectors and Reapers will be fun. And, _I smiled,_ for the record: I can't wait to see your face when we find Legion._

* * *

"This armor and I, we're definitely not going to be friends anytime soon."

"It's all just a matter of practice", said Ash, looking up from her workbench to cast me a somewhat amused glance. "Some need more time then other. Be glad it's only light armor."

"It's not the weight. This goddamned rubber neckpiece rubbish is choking me!"

"What a choice of words" she murmured before she grabbed the helmet she was working on and walked over to me. "If it's too snug, we just have to change it. But if it's not fitting enough, it won't help you in vacuum. Or anywhere else."

She was right, of course. The whole reason the armor was that tight was that as an Alliance marine, I had to be able to fight even in space. I only have to think of the final chase after Saren to see the truth behind the statement. Not to mention all those hazardous planets we're going to walk and fight on.

But still.

"Here you are, try it on now." She put the helmet in my gloved hands and stepped back.

I sighed and obliged.

As soon as the helmet connected with the rest of my armor, the pressure seals activated and a display appeared before my left eye.

"Systems are all green." I said. My voice got distorted by the armor's speaker system.

"Okay," Ashley nodded before taking a look at her omnitool. "Looks good from here. Air reserve, heating systems, heatsinks... everything alright?"

She looked up to see me nervously tugging at the helmet, shifting my head from one side to another.

"Uh, yeah, mostly." I answered. "I just hate wearing helmets. Especially when they're completely closed."

She stepped in front of me, a concerned look twisting her features.

"You're claustrophobic?"

"Kind of. It's no problem when it's just the helmet, but as soon as my neck is sealed off, too... I have the feeling as if I'm about to break it."

I had enough, pressed the hidden button to unseal the helmet and almost tore it from my head, taking a deep breath.

"Mhm." Ashley bit her lower lip. "What kind of headgear would you prefer?"

I pretended to think about it.

"When I was with the gangs, we usually wore balaclavas to conceal our faces and sometimes glasses to conceal our eyes." I finally said. "On one occasion I even wore a 20th century style gas mask. Other than that, some armor plating and a low-grade shield. "

"That's all?" She sounded genuinely surprised.

"Our plan was usually to get in and get out either without anyone noticing or too fast for them to respond with heavier weapons. Plus, we were one of the very few gangs with access to shields. Granted, they were the cheap ones, but still. And, I have to admit that there were only very few times where I actually used my gun." I knew that I was walking on thin ice now, so I stayed as vague as possible.

"I thought that the gangs in the big cities back on Earth are constantly fighting each other" said Ash, both interested and maybe a bit suspicious.

"Well, I was worth too much to risk in a firefight." I answered, giving her a sad smile.

"Why?"

"For example, I was one of very few people who was able to write and read."

She stared at me.

"Aye. Most of the kids in the shadier districts of the mega-cities are legasthenics. You can maybe imagine what a negative impact that has for the command structure. I was usually attached to units to keep the chain of command up and running... at least that's what we called it. A military woman like you would probably laugh about what we called an 'operation'" I snorted, causing her to grin briefly.

"To put the icing on the cake, I am bilingual. Also, I know how to operate the old pre-mass effect computers you occasionally still find in the poorer districts on Earth."

In our days, those vastly overpowered Windows/Linux/Mac/whatever would be the wet dream of every true nerd. But of course, in a time where we use VI's and basically have a supercomputer on our wrists, those 50 years old PCs are considered outdated, ancient even.

My little statement made the impact I had intended – spicing up the faked background story with some details. I had to do it, otherwise people would get suspicious. The trick is to find the balance between being vague and giving information without committing myself to it.

I knew why I had dedicated half my preparation time to working out my disguise. Art from Mass Vexations had almost failed on the simple question where he was from. From North America, he had said. Former USA, he had said.

Unfortunately, the former United States of America still existed, now as a union with Canada and Mexico - the United North American States. The result: Kaidan got suspicious. Only pure luck (and the author's intervention, or the lack of) kept Art in the game, so to speak... and all of that because he didn't took five minutes or one day to properly do his research

_Proper planning prevents piss-poor performance, _I thought.

* * *

Half an hour later I finally finish the last adjustments to my Onyx armor while Ash takes a look at the balaclava and the rest of my gear.

"Why didn't you wear this back on the Citadel?" she asks, examining the black fabric.

"I was a bit nervous 'bout C-SEC." I answer. _Also Tali would have most likely not trusted me if I had concealed my face when speaking to her. Heh. Kinda ironic._

"Mhm." She turns the mask one last time and hands it back to me. "Well, you can wear it in the field if you ask me. It's not exactly Alliance protocol, but I don't think the Commander will object."

She twists her mouth. "But that's just... fabric. That won't help you a bit in hazardous environment. I put some thinking into it and I think we can issue you a steel helmet, without a chin part. That shouldn't be a problem and still offer you enough protection."

Worst case, I still can fight without any helmet. Like my last in-game Shepard did. Because his hair felt so nice in fresh air.

Yeah.

But I have to agreed with Ash: In real life, a helmet is a must-have. Even with barriers. Call me old-fashioned, but I do feel better knowing that I won't have my arguably most vulnerable body part completely without protection when the barrier drops. Which will happen. Often. I'm the FNG for a reason.

"But you need some kind of a breather mask." she continues. "And something to protect your eyes in case of poisonous gas or something." She crosses her arms in front of her.

"Well, I've got a nice robust pair of glasses here." I say, raising my 'ski goggles', "and you can't tell me that there aren't any breather masks on a starship."

"Yeah," she admits, "and the ME fields will help you keeping gas and everything away from you."

I had learned that the breather masks used by Shepard's team on numerous occasions projected an mass effect field around the wearer's head to keep a certain atmosphere, temperature and pressure around it. Which again solved numerous plotholes. Like, why the hell those wearing them were allowed on the Migrant Fleet. By far not as safe as a real breather helmet, but at least some minimal protection.

"But that all won't help against you a bit against toxics in case they come in contact with your skin."

"Any problem with your armor?"

I turn around and see Garrus approaching from the general direction of the elevator. He sounds interested.

"Yeah, a bit", I answer. "Have you any idea on how I can make this thing here" I hand him my balaclava, which he carefully takes into his talons, "proof enough so I can wear it in hazardous environment?"

He takes a close look a it. "Why don't you just use a breather helmet?"

I explain him my problem, and that I had worn a balaclava in the gangs, too. I then proceed to put said balaclava on, complete with ski goggles and a breather mask Ash handed me in the meantime (all the while casting suspicious looks at Garrus, as I noticed) and asks him how I looked like.

"Odd." is his professional comment with a slight flare of his mandibles – the turian equivalent of a grin, I'd say. "But yeah, I think I may have something for you... Give me a minute."

He walks over to 'his' Mako and starts searching the boxes with the spare parts.

Both Ashley and I watch him work without saying a word. Partially because we both are interested in what he is going to do, but partially also because Ash radiates a certain aura of distrust towards our turian squadmate.

_I think I will have to talk about it with her one day if Shepard doesn't beat me to it,_ I think. _But not now. Enjoy the peace while it lasts_. I am glad enough that Ash isn't bitchy at me. I fully expected her to order me around or treat me like I was inferior – I mean, I impose as a former gangster/ mobster/criminal. But she seems to be genuinely nice to me. Maybe she's just glad that Shepard didn't only recruit aliens.

_Or I am the Mass Effect womanizer,_ I thought and gave myself some sarcastic nods. _Yeah. Me. A womanizer._ _Absolutely._

Hm. Speaking of aliens, I have neither talked much to Garrus or Wrex since coming aboard. Also not to Kaidan, come to think of it. But hey, we've just started and still have at least some weeks together... enough time to get used to each other. _Don't overdo it, 'Raven', _I say to myself. _One step at a time._ _Or I'll have to convince Wrex that Joker's more tasty despite his brittle bones._

_Has anybody any idea on how long we're going to 'play' Mass Effect 1 anyway?_

"Here you are," Garrus says a minute later, showing me a small,white box roughly the size of a pill dose with blue markings all over it. "That's Rastrop, a modified omnigel from Palavan. It mostly works just like original Omnigel, but with a small difference." He cracks the case open and shows me the content, a black, creme-like substance.

"What's that good for?"

"Omnigel gets hard and rigid when it's applied, absolutely inflexible. Good if you want to fix a tank, but bad if you want to fix say combat clothing or light armor if you are a scout. Or if you just want to make sure a bandage stays clean no matter what until a wounded can get treatment."

Understandable. If you would use omni-gel to fixate a bandage, in order to treat the wound underneath it a doctor would have to remove it with a blowtorch. Or worse.

"Rastrop stays flexible while still making the item it is applied to tougher and proof against almost everything – even vacuum." Garrus adds, again flaring his mandibles at my surprise."Trust me, I can even modify your glasses or your breather mask to your bala..."

"Clava. Balaclava."

"... so that no air can leak out. If you allow me, I'll treat all of your items with Rastrop and your problem is solved. Mostly."

I nod supporting and impressed, but Ash surprises me by speaking up. She tries, she really does, but it is impossible to overhear her suppressed disdain.

"How much time is this supposed to take?"

Garrus either is oblivious, or pretends to be.

"If I start right now, it'll take … I'd say, six to ten hours. I need to be very throughout, or the Rastrop might fail in a critical moment. And then it has to cure for at least another day."

"Can I help you?" I asked.

"Sure, but you need to be very careful. Let me show you how it's done, first."

"You can use my working station if you want." Ash says, looking at Garrus. Noticeably flat. "I'll go and have lunch. See you later."

She turns around and leaves without even as much looking back. From the corner of my eye, I see Garrus looking at me. I shake my head and make a little gesture towards the station. He nods curtly and steps beside me, both of us bending over the table and looking down at the tools laying around. Only when we hear the elevator close, he speaks up.

"Chief Williams doesn't really seem to like me, huh?"

"I dunno." I answer, despite the opposite being being true. "I wouldn't say its you personal, but rather that you're turian."

"She's a racist?"

"Good question." I raise my head to look at him. "I wouldn't say she's a racist. I'd rather say she... You know who her grandfather was, yeah?"

"I was right next to her when you saluted her, yes."

"Right." Uh, that's kinda embarrassing. "Yeah, General Williams still is the only human who ever had to surrender to aliens. Something the Alliance brass suckers haven't forgotten, even today."

"That's ridiculous." Garrus looked appalled. "A turian general in the same position would have done the exact right thing by surrendering. Protect your subordinates – that's every superiors primary duty."

"I hear ya. I read Ash's file - commendations everywhere, and still her every request to actually advance in her career gets denied. All because her grandfather surrendered to a superior force after doing whatever he could and to do his _fucking job_ \- saving the lives of those under his command." I couldn't keep the agitation out of my voice. "And those Alliance _rats_ reward him with a dishonorable discharge."

His head-shaking was more then enough of an answer. I took a deep breath to calm down.

"Hm. I see where she could get her ... resentments from..." he says slowly.

_I better keep quiet about her personal opinions_, I think. _Not my job to heat things up._

"What about you?"

"Hm?"

"Do you hate turians?"

_What?_ "Why should I?"

"You're human, too... and Earthborns are the most xenophobe." He shrugs. "That's at least what they say in C-SEC."

I shake my head. "Maybe, but I'm definitely not." I give him a lopsided grin. "If you had ever been with an Earth gang, you _couldn't_ believe that aliens can be worse."

"That bad?"

"You have no idea." Closing my eyes, I urge myself to be cautious. _Keep you big mouth shut, dammit!_

"And you? Any resentments towards humanity?" I ask him with mock seriousness.

"Hah. Trust me, I've seen some very bad humans while I was C-SEC... but your whole race? No."

"So it's true what I heard?" I ask, switching the topic. "You left C-SEC for this?"

"Yeah. Think I can do better work here. No politics, no bureacratics and no red tape to slow us down."

I grin broadly. "So you think being with a SPECTRE and on a mission with suicidal odds is the better than being a Citadel cop?" _Oh please, say it, say it.._.

"Yeah, I'd say so." Leaning forward and placing both the dose and the balaclava on the table, he gives me an amused look.

"Fighting a rogue SPECTRE with countless lives at stake and no regulations to get in the way? I'd say that beats C-SEC."

_Yes!_

* * *

We spent the rest of the day treating my headgear with Rastrop. It was exhausting and tedious work. Every single fiber had to be treated with care, or else … I rather don't think about it. Garrus took it upon himself to work at the fabric of my balaclava while I puttered around at the less difficult glasses and breather mask. At some point, we got ourselves some some folding chairs – mine decidedly more comfortable than Garrus' – and sat down in front of the table like some hobby modelers.

In all those hours, Ash never came down back to her station. Kaidan, who briefly passed by at roughly 1400 told us that she instead spent the day working out in the gym on the crew deck – whether or not she wanted to avoid further contact with Garrus was left to my imagination.

While we applied layer after layer of the wondrous black fluid, we chatted with each other. Mostly about some gossip - I had picked up enough of that BS on my stay on the Citadel to be able to talk about it. Of course, Garrus with his C-SEC ties had seen much of it on his own or had heard the uncut-version. Unable to compete with that advantage, I mostly listened and offered sarcastic or interested comments – depending on the actual topic.

Both of us avoided talking about really important things. I didn't want to bother him by asking about family or past – not before Shepard does, anyway – and he, thankfully, avoided the topic of my origin. His sharp wit – and the few sarcastic remarks he dropped every once in a while – once again reminded me just how dangerous Garrus could be if he ever gets suspicious about my true background. The less I talk about it, the better.

Still, it was nice to just sitting down and chat with him. He may not be as cool yet as later when he becomes Archangel – whenever I looked at his face, I missed his scars – but the potential is definitely there.

Then, at 1655 Chakwas called me over the intercom. Wishing everyone a good night and leaving my gear to dry, I entered first the elevator and then the medbay where the doctor had already prepared everything. Of course I had to change into some kind of hospital gown, a strange feeling after spending hours in an armor.

Almost reluctantly I grabbed my glasses, took them from my nose and put them aside. It was difficult to see Chakwas even from two meters away – but hopefully that will be over tomorrow morning.

She explained the whole procedure to me one last time, then, after I had given her my o.k., gave me a good dose of her anesthesia. It worked extremely well. Only one minute later I was fast asleep, all tension gone from my body, and the last thing I saw was the bright operation light.

* * *

_**A/N:** Hello once again, folks! Yeah, I definitely am a master of my schedule – or rather, the lack of one. Well, I said "at least in the mid of August", and that's what I did. Sorry that we didn't really made progress here – but I felt that it was necessary to add another rather 'calm' chapter before the storm to focus on char development. Trust me, there will be enough action coming up. For example, in the next chapter. I promise. _

_Before I say anything else, I want to make one thing clear about Art from mass Vexations: I don't want to dish out a diss against Mass Vexations or its author HerrWozzeck. I. Don't. Mass Vexations is one of the best ME fictions I've ever read and to a big part responsible that I'm writing ME Raven. However, I have to say that the Self-insert OC Art is ... well, sometimes not really smart about the things he does, to put it that way. That's what I'm referring to, nothing else. _

_(edit) I am well aware that Art may have been written that way deliberately - in fact, that's what I'm assuming, thus this clarification. _

_So, do I actually have anything else to say? I tried to write these little squad interactions as good as possible, but I know that I'm definitely not the best writer out there. So, if I have made a mistake – for example, writing a char in a way you think he wouldn't act in RL – don't hesitate to let me know. I want to keep the quality high, and if I have to re-write a few thousand words because I f*cked it up, then so be it. _

_Other than that? I promised you guys at least 2 chapters in August. To be honest, I'm not sure anymore that I can keep that promise – but then I'll just do two in September. As you're reading this I'm already writing at CH5 UNC: Uncharted Territory._

_OK. I hope that you guys had fun nonetheless (please fav, follow and/or leave a review if you did) and I'll see you for Chapter 5! _

_edit: Last update 07.09.2015 - fixed grammatic issues._


	7. FourThree - NORMANDY: Getting Started

_Just noticed that up to this point, I've forgotten to add that_

I do neither own nor claim any rights on Mass Effect or its Charakters n Stuff.

_The lawyers amongst you can now sleep calmly again. And now, without further ado:_

* * *

**Chapter 4.3 - NORMANDY: Getting Started – Part 3**

For some hours I've been staring into the darkness, almost completely motionless.

More precisely, I've had my eyes blindfolded and was laying in one of the medbay's relatively uncomfortable beds.

Dr. Chakwas was there when I woke up, gently keeping me from tiredly trying to pull the blindfold from my head or standing up.

A minor complication, she had said. My body had put up more resistance against the mods than she originally thought. But she was able to compensate with some little adjustments, and everything would be fine – I just had to lay still for another couple of hours. Medigel had healed the scars from the surgery and sped up my recovery, but she didn't want to give me any more drugs so I could sleep for the next hours, too. No more medicine or other substances, or the process might be even slower.

There was no point in trying to argue with the doc, so I yielded up to my fate. For hours I lay still, using this first real 'break' to think about some things and listening to some… yeah, more or less 'radio programs'. Dr. Chakwas was kind enough to set up my omni-tool so I could listen to some streamed radio from Earth. Unfortunately, it still was as boring as 'back in my days', but I had to do with what I had.

Luckily, every once in a while one of the others paid me a visit and we talked a while about some gossip. Except for Wrex, but I would be honestly surprised if he'd make a 'sick bed visit.' Not to mention that I wasn't even sick. Also, Shepard hadn't come by to talk yet. I didn't blame her; us videogamers are lucky that we don't have to deal with all the bureaucratic of running a ship.

But with every freakin' hour that passed, I felt more and more like I was electrically charged. The anxiety and everything was _killing_ me.

Then, after six hours I hear the medbays lock hissing softly once again. A moment later the footsteps of someone approaching me. Armored boots, but the one inside them was careful not to make too much noise. _Hm. Either Tali, Ashley…_

"Hello, Raven. Slept well?"

…_or Shepard._

"No offense, Commander" I answer, sighing tiredly, "but I'm going to strangle the next one who asks."

"Oh?" she asks, the grin in her voice evident. "Who else?"

"Hm. Tali, Garrus, Lieutenant Alenko…."

"I see." Shepard takes seat on the coat next to me; I hear the mattress creak slightly.

"But seriously, how are you doing?"

"Not too bad." I find myself once again trying to see at least something through the blindfold. But it is useless, the fabric does a really good job. "The doc said I'll be up and running in another hour. Thank god for that. Any longer and I go nuts."

"Trust me, I know what you mean. But unfortunately, the 'running' part will have to wait."

I groan. "Don't remind me." _Two damned days until I can finally start to make some progress._

_On the other hand, _I think a bit warily,_ two more days of rest before Ash puts me in the meat grinder. It all has good and bad sides, heh? _But while I don't look forward to get my ass kicked, I would prefer to just do it and get it over with.

"Well, before we even start with that..." The mattress to my right creaks again. "I need to know where you can actually be of use."

I try my best to give Shepard a questioning look without being able to look. "What do you mean?"

"I'm glad that you tag along, don't get me wrong – but we both know that you're no actual soldier."

_Oh boy._ „You're right, unfortunately. To be honest, I too don't know where I can be of help. I figured that you would think of something – even if it's just as cannon fodder, I would be fine with it."

"Forget it." The harsh response startles me, but then she continues in a softer tone. "I don't know what you've heard about the Alliance or me, but I will _not_ sacrifice one of mine if I can do something about it."

_Then Virmire will be sheer horror for you_, I think with unease. "That's good to hear," I answer aloud, somehow managing a slightly playful tone. „It wasn't something I was looking forward to anyway."

"No, I'll make sure that you know exactly what you're doing before I even let you close to an enemy. But I was hoping that you... yeah... might give me a hint what I am looking for. And don't be afraid to tell your weaknesses. If we know them, we can work on them."

_Hm_. I thought back to my few experiences in the combat sim. "I prefer to stay at a distance to my target." I finally answer. "I like to have a full vision on the area. Also, I think... I think that my reflexes are too bad for CQC." I add hesitantly.

It _does_ hurt my ego to admit it to Shepard, but I ignore it. _Better honest than dead._

"Though I'm not afraid to go hand-to-hand if I have to, but I know only the very basics."

"Well, that's something I can work with." Shepard says, satisfied. „How are you shooting?"

"Bad."

"No, no." she laughs, „That can be practiced. No, what I mean is: What is your style of shooting? And what kind of weapons do you prefer?"

_Ah_. "Precise single or burst fire at longer ranges and spray-and-pray or hand-to-hand on close ranges. As for the weapons, yeah, I would like to use a sniper rifle, but I lack the steadiness for precise aiming. I like to fire short bursts with the assault rifle, but they're not exactly precise. I'm okay with the pistol, I think, but you have to bear with the consequences if you give me a shotgun."

"Okay." she says, slightly amused. Then, thoughtfully, she adds: „I might already have an idea... but, let's see how you perform in the basic training sessions first."

"Fair enough." I really have no idea what kind of soldier they'll make of me. In secret, I hope that I end up as an Infiltrator, that's my favorite class… but without being able to handle a sniper rifle? Unlikely.

_We'll talk again in ME2._

"But until we find out, I have some things you can do in the meantime."

"That would be?" Interest mixes in my voice.

"It's now 1730... when Chakwas releases you, first, get yourself something to eat, take a shower, whatever you need. Then head down to the cargo bay, Garrus wants to show you his handiwork - I think it's dry now."

Once again, sarcasm and amusement colours her tone. I smile, feeling just a little bit sheepish.

"I am not totally convinced yet that what the two of you have cooked out will work... honestly, why didn't you just ask the requisition officer or me if we have something for you?"

I merely shrugged, grinning slightly. „No risk, no fun."

"Yeah, figured.", she snorts. "For the record, when it doesn't work out, I have already ordered a replacement. It'll wait for us on the Citadel."

I register the 'when' instead of an 'if' with a light chuckle. I also silently wonder what kind of 'replacement' Shepard is talking about, but don't bother to ask.

"Noted. Anything else, Commander?" I asked, still grinning.

"As a matter of fact, yes." She pauses, and I can almost_ feel_ that something's up.

"Tell me something about you. I like to know my squad, if you don't mind."

She says that in a firendly and polite tone, and I know that – especially Paragon - Shepard likes to talk to her subordinates. That's part of why people are willing to follow her into hell and back. But my grin vanishes nonetheless, out of surprise and... other things.

"Me? Well, I'm not sure what to tell you, Shepard. I think everyone of the others has more of a story than I have."

_That is, if you cancel out the „I'm-from-another-reality" part._ But even then, everyone else has such an interesting background. Except for Jacob, according to public believe, but, yeah.

"If you ignore my, well, upbringing, I'm just your regular 21 years old ex-gang ex-criminal."

"Sorry if I say it so bluntly, but I don't believe you."

My heartbeat pauses a second.

"No ordinary gangster would do the things you did in the past few days. There's more to you than you let on."

"Hm. Yeah, I wouldn't really call myself a 'gangster', really" I say after a few seconds of thought. "I was running with the gangs, yes – but … hm. You know how I got raised. It took me two years from discovering the truth about … well, everything, to being able to live on my own. More or less, at least."

I stay silent for a few seconds, mind running in overdrive. I feel a bit overwhelmed – I have to think of an reply, check it if it is fake-bio-compatible, and then translate it to English.

_I'm such a lucky bastard that Shepard can't see my eyes now._

"But I always didn't felt like I was in the right place there. After I had run away from home, I wanted to see ... more. The streets became _too little_ for me, if you know what I mean. And my 'fellow mobsters' were another reason – I don't dare call me a genius, but many of these guys are either dumb as a nut or ignorant as one. Say, have you ever heard of the Tenth Street Reds?"

"A bit." Shepard answers. "They're one of the major gangs in Vancouver, aren't they?"

_You can be glad that you're no Earthborn, Shep. _„Aye, and the worst xenophobes and moron's I've ever seen – _including_ the ones who raised me. You hear one of them talking for more than five minutes, and if you have at least some functioning brain cells you want to either beat them so they shut up – or you make them shut up _permanently_."

I shake my head in anger. "For hundreds of years humans have regarded other humans as inferior because they were _alien_. And now that we know that there are _real_ aliens out there, our racism against each other has vanished – to be replaced by racism against aliens. Kinda sad, don't you agree?"

I don't give Shepard the time to reply to my rhetoric question but continue. "I don't consider myself a sage or something like that. But when you rise up, asking yourself every time that you look up to the stars: 'Are we alone?' And then find out that you aren't, and the people you trusted betray you because they thought it would be better if you don't know... well, you can maybe imagine that I am now always trying to see both sides of the coin. That's why I act how I do."

"Wow." Only now that Shepard speaks up do I realize that I have spoken myself in a rage. I try to apologize, but Shepard once again doesn't let me. „I think I can count myself lucky that my parents are both spacers, I guess."

"I envy you." I say, and mean it.

"I'm not sure that there's much reason to it." Shepard says, a bit hesitantly. "A spacer's life can be difficult at times, too... especially when you often have to move to another ship when your parents get a new posting. And..."

Silence falls upon us once again, but this time it is an uncomfortable one. I can feel the Commander's hesitance – what she's trying to say must be difficult for her. _Something about her father?_

I decide it's best not to force it on her and go back to the original topic.

"As I said, Commander, I don't have much of a story to tell – or at least that I don't care about it anyway." I say in conversation tone. „I hope that this... well, adventure might be the beginning of one. But," I continue, adding warmth to my voice, „I appreciate that you're taking the time to talk to me, Shepard. Maybe another time I can tell you some stories or so, but in the moment I honestly don't know what to say."

"That's alright." She says, the depression from before now almost forgotten. „Another time, then." The mattress crunches loudly, Shepard raises to her feet. "Carry on, Private."

"I would, if I could." I answer ironically. Shepard laughs ever so slightly. „Remember, report to Chief Williams when you're cleared. See you later, Raven."

"See ya, Commander." I say in Joker-style and listen to her departing footsteps.

The lock hisses twice, then I'm alone again, pondering about what happened in the past fifteen minutes.

Forty-five minutes later, Chakwas checks me one last time and the declares me fit for light duty. I rise from the bed to sit on its edge, take off the blindfold and, at first, reflexively grab after my glasses – before I realise that I don't need them anymore. I grin broadly. I now only have to wear sunglasses for another day so that my eyes can adjust to the light, but then? Never again!

After taking a few shaky steps – and feeling completely exhausted despite having been in that bed for a whole day – I thank Dr. Chakwas once again before following Shepard's advice – walking over to the cooking niche on the same deck and stuffing myself.

Not without Tabasco, of course.

* * *

To describe the following week with 'interesting'... would be both an understatement and exactly right.

The next morning I reported to Kaiden, who took me, Tali and even Wrex to the Mako few words and started teaching us the tank's controls.

'Tank' isn't exactly right. A Mako's main job is to carry up to eight marines plus driver and gunner to the battlefield. But APC (armored personnel carrier) didn't fit either, at least in my mind – but how do you describe a vehicle which is a drop pod and APC and still armed with a 155 mm main cannon – a caliber usually reserved for artillery in our days? (Not to mention that the armor is still thicker than the one in a Leopard-2-tank …. shields not even counted. Ah, and it can _jump_.)

Anyway, it is obvious that the real-life-version can't be operated by one person alone. To work with maximum efficiency, it requires four people – a driver (who also was the tank commander), a gunner, one guy at the sensors and an engineer to keep everything together under fire. Of course, a VI was installed and ready to take over in case something went wrong, but it seemed like the Commander didn't trust it all too much. I thought of EDI and bit back a grin.

We all got a crash-course on each position, but then we split up so that each of us trained on one specific post. Garrus and Wrex would take control of the guns (Garrus immediately started to... well... calibrate them, I noticed with a big grin), Kaidan taught Tali how to repair each system (and was quickly outclassed by her quarian ingenuity) and Ash showed me how to use LADAR and the other detection systems.

I never had put much thought to it before, but I quickly learned just how important my job was. Both the driver and the gunner had very limited fields of view. To put I tmore or less into 'gaming terms', I was responsible for mini and main map. Also, it was my job to detect radio, heat and other emissions from afar. When I was on this post, I was the tank's eyes and ears, a responsibility I took very serious.

And yeah, Shepard herself would drive. It definitely didn't cause euphoria with me. And amusingly, neither Kaidan nor Ashley looked too happy either – I would have asked them if there were stories about Shepards style of driving... but I feared the answer, so I kept my mouth shut.

We spent the whole day around the Mako and half of the next day too. Whatever fanboyism and 'ah-its-just-a-game' left in me was almost gone. Both Ash, Kaidan and to an extent Wrex and Garrus, made it clear enough that this was no game. We were training for a dangerous mission - with a guaranteed deadly outcome. It was just not yet decided if the ones dying would be us or Saren and his followers.

Still, a little bit of fascination was always with me. Despite everything, I enjoyed the learning experience. It was so... surreal. Not even two weeks ago, I had studied for an exam and rather enjoyed my life as a student and lived more or less from day to day. Now I was covered all over in something similar to machine oil and helping Garrus and Tali with 'oiling' the Mako's propulsion and wheels. It felt... yeah... 'real', for the lack of a better word.

And while it was certainly tedious work, it was made easier by doing this with the freaking Mass Effect-Crew. We – well, most of the time me and Garrus – traded snarks and jokes. But Kaidan, Ash and Tali had their moments, too.

Even Wrex thawed ever so slightly, telling us a story about how he once used a gun like the Mako's as a handgun to 'rough up some gangs', as he put it. I listened with fascination, unable to tell if he was making that up... or telling the truth. Considering that this was Wrex...

Overall, I had a feeling like we were starting to work as a real team. Sure, Tali was still extremely nervous and easy to fluster. Ash, for example, rarely missed an occasion to get the poor quarian to wring her hands. Also, you don't have to have heightened senses to notice the extreme tension between Garrus and Wrex, or Ash and the aliens in general. But it was a start, and I already had a good feeling about that all.

But on the second day's afternoon, I was called to the medbay… Dr. Chakwas scanned me again and then fully cleared me for duty.

My 'good feeling' should vanish pretty fast.

* * *

"Time dedicated to training's priceless / Pain and sweat's why veterans getting better / that'll tell us why there are callouses on my fist."

_Dan Bull, you are so goddamned right._

"Faster, recruit! Move it!"

I clenched my teeth and stormed past the Mako I had just crawled under, jumped over an obstacle and barely dodged the cargo bay's supporting pillar – the solid steel scratched my armors paint job.

"Go, go!"

In front of me and to my left two targets popped up. I raised my rifle, took a split-second to aim and fired. One went down with the first burst, but the second volley missed. I lost another precious second with firing again.

"Come on!"

The last meters I sprinted before crossing the line and stopping next to Ashley. Breathlessly I bowed, supporting my hands on my knees. „You're getting better, but you're still too slow.", I heard Ashley say.

I couldn't answer and instead took long and rythmic breaths, trying to slow my still racing heartbeat.

If you only know the _NORMANDY'_s cargo bay from ME1, you probably wouldn't recognize it at that point. At least I didn't when I left the elevator in the morning. Overnight, the cargo bay had been transformed into a small, but decent CQC course, complete with obstacles and everything. No space had been wasted. Even the Mako and Postle's and Ash's working stations had been 'converted' to fulfill their part, as carriers for targets or as obstacles to crawl under.

Shepard had decided that we couldn't waste any time traveling anywhere but Artemis Tau just in case, not even to train the squad, so she decided we would practice aboard, using the 'mobile shooting range' equipment stuffed into a few crates in the cargo bay. Mind you, they were the crates Wrex had 'occupied' as his own. Somehow fitting.

It took the night shift (and us who helped them) three hours to build everything up, but it was well worth it. Currently, Ash and myself were the only ones in the cargo bay – the rest was eating, sleeping or, in Tali's case, in Engineering.

When I looked up again, Shepard had left the elevator and stepped next to Ash who saluted her.

"At ease, Williams." Shepard looked at me, then back at Ash. I noticed that she was now wearing her N7 armor. „How's it going? What do you think?"

Ash glanced at me as if she was asking for permission. I nodded. There was absolutely no reason not to be as open and blunt as possible – it could only help me.

"Worse than expected, better than feared. 55 points."

For a brief moment, Shepards features twisted. I couldn't blame her. 55 out of 100 – 65 would have been the minimum for passing if I had been a regular Marine. Even Tali, arguably the most inexperienced besides me, had scored 70.

"Where are the problems?"

"He's not too shabby a shot, when he has the time to take aim he's fine. But he's pretty bad in CQC, his reflexes are only average even now that he's got those mods. And he tires out too quickly for my liking. In short: You see that he's no trained rifleman."

Shepard looked at me thoughtfully. I nodded. During the week of preparation on the Citadel, I had only found the time to practice precise fire from medium ranges – because I knew that that's what I would need in the ambush at Chora's Den. And while both weapon handling and reflexes had increased due to the experiences made in the combat sim, they couldn't be compared to that of a fully trained Marine, and I hadn't found the time to really work out to increase stamina. Plus, I was still getting used to my body's enhancements.

It was bitter, but it was the truth: I was no match for anyone else in the squad.

"I suspected as much." Shepard said after a while. „What do you think, can we take him with us nonetheless?"

I briefly wondered why the Commander even considered that, didn't she want to keep me out of the action until I was ready? I reasoned that she simply couldn't afford to waste any firepower and had to at least think about working with everything she's got.

"Maybe." Ash said, looking at her thoughtfully. Since I hadn't taken part in the talk, I grabbed my rifle and began to inspect it to keep my hands busy. "As I said, he is a decent shot – when he can focus on his target. I would recommend training him as a sniper, but..."

"I can't aim with a sniper rifle while standing." I finished her sentence when she trailed off. I looked up, Shepard in the eyes. „It's basically just like I told you a few days ago, Commander."

They let me take aim at a couple of targets at a part of the course which could be used as a shooting range. I fired ten short bursts in ten seconds; eight practice targets dropped. I had trained these ranges to no end, so it wasn't too difficult, surprisingly. If someone had told me before that I would learn how to fire a rifle that quickly, I'd probably laughed in his face. Turned out, if you have little alternatives than to either train or die, most likely, you work double as hard.

Shepard pursed her lips, thinking while I continued cleaning my rifle. Then, out of the blue she asked me: "Do you know what a designated marksman is?"

I looked up, surprised. "Yeah, more or less. The middle-ground between a sniper and a rifleman, right?"

"More or less." She gestured Ash and me to follow her into the 'tunnel' to Engineering, carefully dodging a dummy as she walked. There she activated her omni-tool and searched for something.

„A sniper operates alone or with a spotter, uses stealth where possible and usually takes out his targets at distances above 800 meters.", Shepard said. "A squad designated marksman fights with a squad, and his job is to take out specific targets at lower distances and with precise shots."

_Wait._ „But don't these marksmen usually use sniper rifles, too?" I knew that, technically, every one of Shepard's squadmates with a sniper rifle – and even an Infiltrator-Shepard – were SDM's rather then real snipers, at least in gameplay. It was one of the many design oversights of the Mass Effect series – because of the different fields and ranges they are working in, RL snipers and marksmen are using different kinds of weapons.

A sniper uses a bolt-action rifle with high precision and power. A designated marksman basically an army's main weapon with an appropriate sight, or specific marksman rifles with higher magazines and sometimes even an automatic fire mode to be able to fight in close quarters, compared to real sniper rifles. In Mass Effect, it was totally legit to _run around_ with a freaking _Widow_ anti-material rifle.

_And I'm a bad shot with a sniper rifle,_ I thought very irritated. _So how...?_

"Usually, yes." Shepard confirmed, looking up from her omni-tool. "But that's mainly because it is important for a marksman to take out his target as quickly as possible. And that's difficult when you're wielding an assault rifle and your opponent is equipped with shields and a body armor."

Yeah. Shepard was right - even more so, when you think about just how inaccurate the Mass Effect 1 assault rifles are in general. When playing the game, they always felt for me like in-game Shepard was firing from hip even when he aimed through the sights."

"But some of my 'colleagues' have found an alternative." At that, she showed me a picture of another N7 operator. He wore the same Onyx-armor a male Shepard would wear, had replaced the helmet with something that looked suspiciously like a Kuwashii – visor and... held a familiar if modded assault rifle in hands.

For a moment I looked at the rifle, dumbfounded – then I felt the sudden urge to facepalm. An urge I resisted. It would be difficult and awkward to explain to the two women. „Is that...?"

"That's an N7 Infiltrator with a modified Mattock assault rifle." Shepard answered.

"But Ma'am, didn't the Alliance replace that rifle a decade ago?" Ashley asked, staring at the picture in disbelief.

"They did," the Commander confirmed, „but it is still one of the most precise and powerful rifles in the galaxy. And if modded correctly, can take out almost every 'normal' tango with one headshot, or a few bodyshots."

Aye. The M-96 Mattock is the closest equivalent to a DMR or battle-rifle you'll get in ME2, except for maybe the M-15 Vindicator. It sports the high accuracy and firepower of a sniper rifle, but also the low recoil and rather high magazine capacity of an assault rifle, and since spare ammunition isn't a problem at the moment 'cause we don't use thermal clips yet...

"I think I'll use you in a support role, Raven." Shepard spoke to me. "I can't really put you in the frontline if you're not fast 'n' fit enough." I twisted my lips, but didn't say anything. "But in the second row, you can take out some enemies which are out of cover, provide covering fire and still stay relatively safe. Whoever wants to come for you has to deal with us first." She tapped on her shotgun and shared a grin with Ash.

I felt just a little bit like a greenhorn. Which I was.

"Raven, can you make more of those incendiaries you used back on the Citadel?" Ash then asked me.

"Sure." I answered, giving her curious look, „I just need fuel, bottles or something like that and some old clothes to make rugs."

"If you go second row it might be useful to have something like those to keep tangos from flankin' or swarmin' you." Shepard said.

„Or just in case you feel like lighting someone up, of course" Ash added with a kinda diabolic grin.

_I'm bringing Molotovs to Mass Effect?_ I nodded to her, feeling a grin tugging at my own lips. _Not the worst skill to have._ „Sounds good to me." _Although I'm not too sure if they'll be useful against the Geth. But it will be a pleasure to see the Thorian burn. _A voice in the back of my head nagged at me why Shepard didn't hand me some grenades with incendiary upgrade – but maybe they're simply not available at this point.

"Hm." Shepard caressed her chin with her armored glove. "Also... You don't have by any chance some first-aid-training, do you?"

"Only the very basics, Ma'am." I answered, thinking back to the times when I practiced it for my driver's license.

"If you get the time, grab Alenko and Chawas and let them teach you how to provide first aid in the field." Shepard said on the spur of the moment. „I don't feel too well with only one squad medic anyway, and since we've already established that you'll try to stay out of the line of fire..."

"Aye-aye, Commander." _No promises._ I didn't know how to feel about this – I was everything but a medic. The whole idea felt somehow wrong to me. But since Shepard ordered it, I would give it a try. There were worse ways to waste my time – and even if I was of no use as a medic, I could at least learn how to treat myself just in case.

"Good." Shepard nodded. "See, not too difficult to find something that suits you." she joked.

I shrugged, offering her a lopsided half-grin and stowed my rifle on my back. "If you say so, Commander."

"Trust me, you'll be fine." she assured. "Now we just have to make sure that you're up for it. Physically, I mean."

"Oh, I will make sure that Raven is ready when we need him, Ma'am", Ash said with dedication.

I decidedly did _not _like the way she grinned...

* * *

Williams called it „Basic Rifleman Training".

I called it „her-boot-in-my-ass camp".

I must admit, I never was a big fan of sports or fitness training in general. Oh, I did some workout, played football twice and rode my bicycle at least three times a week – but I never was the kind of guy who spent hours and hours in a gym to build up his 'six-pack'. First, I found it pretty overrated, second... I couldn't bring myself to do it. I'm a bit lazy when I can get away with it, I'll admit it.

Well, _Gunny_ Williams was just the right person to properly... motivate me, to keep the swearing at a minimum.

Under her watchful eye, I got chewed, spit out again and then was allowed to sleep for a few hours. Rinse and repeat. Some hours on the treadmill, then push-ups. Crunches, push-ups, pull-ups (or rather, at the beginning, a flexed arm hang since I'm really heavy), - whatever you name it, it was probably part of the training course. Then an hour on the shooting range, another run over the CQC course and then lunch and a much needed cool shower. The exact order differed a little every day.

Six whole days. Six. Whole. Goddamned Days. Eight hours of sleep, then sixteen hours of intense courses and training sessions. A real marine would probably laugh about something like that, but for me, as a newly recruited civilian? It wasn't hell, exactly. But it was damned hard to go from 'no scheduled training' to 'full schedule'.

It certainly helped that Ash stayed more or less friendly. And she didn't try to 'motivate' me by dressing me down like a stereotypical US drill sergeant. I seriously don't need that BS.

If she had done that, however, it would have been the last drop to finally boil me over. It was an interesting mix – on one side, I was too tired to complain (and I didn't want really, since this whole ordeal was dedicated to raise my chances of survival), on the other side, Ash's style of teaching kinda fueled me even further.

I was glad that she didn't spare herself and did every exercise with me, and kind of really mad that she rarely seemed to even break into sweat. Mad enough to keep going, at least... I wanted to continue until she was showing signs of weakness, too. I freakin' knew that it was just 'psychological warfare'... but for fuck's sake, it _worked_.

In retrospect, the success gave her right. I was surprised and kind of motivated that I could really _feel _the progress. Every single day my performance got a bit better. It was like my body now soaked up the hours of training and converted it straight into 'fitness'. Instead of getting fought for every bit of muscle mass, it more or less felt like it actually supported it.

The downside was that I now had the questionable pleasure of having to eat more of these... garrison rations every evening to compensate. Ah, whatever. Worth it. Totally. Worth. It.

If I keep telling myself, I may even end up believing it.

* * *

The amount of work, practice and preparations loaded on every one of us let us almost forget that we were traveling through the galaxy in a speed no other ship could match. Only the occasional jolt told us that we were passing another secondary relay, and every once in a while Joker announced that we had reached a new cluster or system.

We had left the Citadel and the Serpent Nebula in one day, passed the Exodus Cluster with the Utopia-System (and Eden Prime), spent a few days traveling to a second relay and then got fired towards Hades Gamma. A friend of mine once compared the Mass Effect relays to gigantic Gauss cannons – at times like this I preferred not to think about it.

But as we arrived at the Antaeus system, it showed that the _NORMANDY_ was a prototype ship on a more or less shakedown run. Problems with the internal core heatsinks during the normal discharge in the magnetic field of Ploba, the bigger of the two gas giants in this system forced us to stay in orbit for additional three days for repair; Every time I saw Shepard these days, her mouth was a bit more pinched. Tali didn't seem to rest at all; whenever I was down on the C/E deck at whatever time of the day, I saw her working on the various parts of the ship. I rarely talked to her, though; we were both stressed enough as it was.

Finally, after 70 hours of work, our engineers had fixed the engines and we were able to leave the system.

But then, as we were just flying for the relay, Shepard received a message from Admiral Hackett. A minute after the call ended, Joker had plotted a new course and every one of us was ordered to the Comm-center – ASAP.

Our new destination was in another system of the same cluster: Biotic terrorists had kidnapped the Alliance parliament chairman Martin Burns. They had entrenched themselves aboard the _MSV ONTARIO_, in the Farinata-System. Our job was to get Burns out – either by negotiation or by force, it was up to us...

* * *

_**A/N:** Hey Fellas! I must again apologize for the delay, even worse, now the chapter itself is remarkably short :C. I originally planned to release this one and 5 as a whole, but I expect 4.3 and 5 to have a total wordcount of above 12k - and I don't like having chapters of that length. So, 5 will come out later - but ASAP, that much I can promise. I think I'll add a little "special", too._

_A sidenote in case you guys are wondering why some of the quotation marks are like ,, " - that's the way we use them in German, and since I forgot to put word to English in this chapter... yeah. Maybe I'll edit it in the future, but nt right now. _

_I also wanna thank **5 Coloured Walker** for beta-reading this chapter and pointing out most of my errors. Hope ya stay around for future chapters - I just know that there will be horrendous mistakes, I know myself :D_

_Hm. And I feel like I forgot something. I usually do in the A/Ns. Maybe I should start taking notes for the notes._

_Ah, the quote at the CQC exercise is from Dan Bull's Rainbow SIX Rap. Check that out, it's great._

_Okay, I'm out of things to add. See ya guys in CH5, that time with the first mission! (Around 25th or so of September.) _


	8. Intermezzo: Wildcard

_"Guys, why aren't the breaks working?!"_

**_"Because I cut the breaks! Wildcard, bitches! Yeeeehaaaa!"_**

_Charlie Kelly in Season 4 Episode 2 of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia before jumping out of a van full of gasoline which breaks he just cut. Don't ask. I didn't._

* * *

**Intermezzo (Bonus Chapter): The Wildcard**

_Some time after the mission on Therum…_

+++Systems Alliance Marine Corps+++

+++_Semper Fidelis_+++

+++Personnel Database+++

/Processing request..

**Jane Shepard**

**ID** XXX-XXXXX-XXXX

**Rank:** Lieutenant Commander, SPECTRE

**Proficiency:** Special Operations, **N7**

/Access granted.

/Searching Files for...

**Jess Raven**

**ID** XXX-XXXXX-XXXX

**Rank:** Private Second Class

**Proficiency:** Designated Marksman,** K1**

/Search complete.

/Downloading files...

/Download complete.

* * *

**PSC Jess Raven, K1** /

**Status:** ACTIVE (aboard _SSV NORMANDY SR-1_, Commanding officer: LCDR. Jane Shepard, SPECTRE) /

**Name:** Jess Raven (Note: Given name unknown) /

**Callsign(s):** Raven, Red /

**Date of Birth:** 11th November 2161 (Age: 21) (Note: Age confirmed by MAJ Dr. Karin Chakwas, E7, exact date of birth unconfirmed) /

**Place of birth:** Hamburg, Germany (Note: No official confirmation) /

**Nationality:** European Union, Germany /

**Race:** Human /

**Gender:** Male /

**Height:** 188 cm (ca. 6ft 2in) /

**Weight:** ca. 110 kg (221 lb) /

**Skin Tone:** European (Earth-born) /

**Hair Colour:** Dark blond /

**Eye Colour:** Greyish blue /

**Modifications:** Infantry Package B /

**Rank:** Private Second Class, **PSC** /

**ID:** XXXXX-XXX-XXXX

**Proficiency:** Squad Designated Marksman, **K1** /

**Time of Service:** 1 month, 3 days (AERA§) /

**Paygrade:** Enlisted-2 (AERA§) /

**Record of Service:** Passed Basic Marine Training, currently training as SDM aboard _NORMANDY - _Combat Missions: 3/

* * *

**Personal note:**

(written by LCDR Jane Shepard, N7, personally adressed to CPT David Anderson, N7)/

(CLASSIFIED by CPT David Anderson, N7, access granted) /

Most of his biography is incomplete with a severe lack official documents. Claims to have grown up in the Isolationist movement in Germany and to have spent the last three years before his recruitement on the streets as a part of minor street gangs. There are no records of him ever getting in trouble with the authorities, even under other known aliases. Likewise multiple probable, but no confirmed sightings. /

Lack of advanced medical treatment (for example, nearsightedness) and observation of his general behavior, especially around state-of-the-art technology suggests that he his telling the truth; on the other hand, his field of interests (e.g. a very good knowledge of history), the fact that he's fluent in English and German, in addition to the way he expresses himself on the other hand suggest a higher level of education than common in a gang members, especially a former Isolationist. He rarely talks about his past, though, and often dodges questions. /

Record of service is so far spotless; seems to work very well in a team. Maintains friendly or neutral relationships with all crewmembers, even (or especially?) the non-humans. Does respect his superior officers orders despite being rather lax about the chain of command. Doesn't hesitate to make suggestions (or sarcastic remarks) if the situation allows. Not yet fully trained, but keeps practicing and already has scored some important kills. Traces of 'youthful enthusiasm' during combat, but most of the time stays remarkeably calm and focused for being a 'FNG'. /

I will keep an eye on him, though my gut tells me that he's really on our side. But for all intents and purposes, he stays a wildcard... /

* * *

**Talents (Mass Effect 1)**

**CLASS:  
**

**Human Wildcard**

„_A wildcard is an improbable disruption, a rare and surprising event with massive consequences."_

General combat and training experience slightly increases melee damage and accuracy while decreasing cooldowns.

**SKILLS:**

**Pistols**

Having a trusty sidearm is always a good thing – constant training increases damage and accuracy with a pistol. Unlocks "Marksman" on Rank 3.

**Squad Designated Marksman** _(unlocks at_ **Pistols** _7)_

Personal modifications to his rifle and a high amount of practicing and experience increases Raven's effectiveness as a marksman.

Increases accuracy and damage with the Mattock, unlocks "Precision Fire" on Rank 3.

**Fitness**

Regular physical exams under professional guidance increase general fitness and pain tolerance.

Increases maximal health.

**Assault Training** _(unlocks at_ **Fitness** _9)_

Raven upgrades his rifle with an omni-bayonet; a decent weapon to fall back in case someone gets way too close. Also, experience and training greatly increase his reflexes, improving his effectiveness in melee.

Minimal improvements to weapon damage, great impovements to melee damage; grants access to "Adrenaline Burst" on rank 3.

**Incendiary Grenade**

The Molotov cocktail gained fame in the 1940's Winter War between Finland and the Soviet Union and has since earned its place in the arsenals of insurgents and street fighters all over the world. It is as easy to produce as it is effective in coating an enemy or a whole area in a massive field of fire. Raven starts with this ability on level 1 and has „Incendiary Grenade" unlocked.

Upgrades increase damage over time and area affected. At level 12 (Master Incendiary Grenade) , upgrades from "Molotov Cocktail" to "Fireball-Grenade".

**Flashbang** _(unlocks at_ **Incendiary Grenade** _5)_

Flashbangs have been delivered to the_ NORMANDY._ While one of the older human developements and not harming enemies directly, it's potential effect especially in enclosed locations can only be described as deadly.

Unlocks "Flashbang" on Rank 1, upgrades increasing blinding duration and reduce cooldowns.

**First Aid**

Time dedicated to study both human and alien anatomy increases the effectiveness of first aid provided in the field

Upgrades further incease the bonus.

**Medicine**_ (unlocks at_ **First Aid** _7)_

By carrying additional loads of medigel (and being able to apply them), Raven reduces the overall cooldown of Shepard's "Unity" **, **increases the amount of medigel the team can carry and is able to revive downed squadmembers on his own.

Upgrades further decrease the cooldown of Shepard's "Unity" and increase the effectiveness of Raven's "Revive".

**ABILITIES:**

**MARKSMAN**

Focusing on how you're firing your sidearm improves the weapon's fire rate and accuracy, as well as increasing the maximum amount of shots before overheat.

**PRECISION FIRE**

Raven controls his breath and fires in short-controlled bursts while aiming at the vitals. Temporarily reduces rate of fire, greatly increases damage and accuracy.

**IMMUNITY**

A combination of combat drugs temporarily increases the pain tolerance. Reduces the amount of incoming damage.

**ADRENALINE BURST**

Injecting a dose of adrenaline combats fatigue – for a short amount of time and at the cost of slightly shaking hands. Reduces cooldowns with a temporary accuracy penalty.

**INCENDIARY GRENADE**

Raven throws a Molotov cocktail (at rank 12: Fireball-grenade) at the targeted location. Enemies hit directly or getting in contact with the flames suffer fire damage over time. This stops health regeneration, and can cause unprotected sentient organic enemies to panic. Non-sentient organic enemies, such as husks, and synthetic enemies are immune to panic. Damage against synthetic enemies is halved. (A Fireball grenade uses a much more potent charge, thus removing the penalty.)

**FLASHBANG GRENADE**

Raven throws a flashbang at the targeted location – and then gets his head down. The explosion of light and sound causes enemies to become temporarily disoriented.

**FIRST AID (passive)**

Raven carries additional doses of medigel. That increases the team's maximal amount of medigel for both "Revive" and "Unity".

**REVIVE**

Using medigel (the modern medicine's duct tape) and/or combat drugs Raven revives a single ally to a percentage of his maximum live. Uses one Medigel.

* * *

_**A/N:** Hello folks, and sorry in case you've expected another full-length chapter. The writing of CH5 is going quite nicely, actually. I think I can release it by the middle of Octobre (since I'm too busy to write it all in one go, but we'll see about that). _

_But this stupid little idea of writing myself an own skillset or talent tree was in my brain since I started planning this whole fiction, and, yeah. Thought all of this might be a good way to give you guys a picture of my OC (*cough* me *cough*). Also, Shepard's message to Anderson might give you some ideas... and since the "Introduction part" to get everything going is now over (after 50k words and 5 months, wth)... yeah._

_ Well, I'm out. :D Leave me your thoughts on everything as a comment if you feel like it. And, thank you all for following/favoring/commenting! Really hope you guys will stay around, we have just started our journey :)_


	9. Five - UNC: Uncharted Territory

_**I don't fear the unknown. I fear that what I do know is all that's left**. – Stephen C. Hogan._

_**The only thing you should feel when you shoot your enemy is the recoil from your rifle.** \- US Marine Corps saying_

* * *

**Chapter 5 – UNC: Uncharted Territory**

"You are breaking so many Alliance regulations by now."

I looked up to Ashley and matched her amused expression with a lopsided grin of my own.

"But ya have to admit it – I'll do it with style."

She snorted. Garrus chuckled briefly. I kept grinning while I checked my equipment, but the tension in the air was weighting too heavy on us to relax.

A few hours earlier, the _NORMANDY_ had reached the Farinata-System and, after just a little bit of searching around we found the _ONTARIO_ close to the systems asteroid belt. It hadn't answered to Joker's hails and refused every other attempted communication. So, with noticeable hesitation, Shepard had ordered us to gear up for a boarding attempt.

It had come both as a relief and kind of a shock – finally the first mission, but, yeah, the first mission. Up to this point things were relaxed, sort of – now it became serious. There was a tense silence on the C/E deck while we dressed up. Then Shepard came down to us – already fully equipped – and split us up into an assault and one back-up team. The assault team – consisting of Shepard, Kaidan and Garrus - would go in first, attempting negotiation and ultimately getting the hostage out, one way or another. The rest, led by Ashley, would stay just outside the airlock and cover their retreat with the hostage in case things went south.

I had hopes it didn't... because if I remember correctly from my own playthrough, after the initial firefight, either Shepard gets the hostage out by negotiation or the chairman gets killed. Plus, fighting against a complete crew of biotics, especially this early … well, I somehow made it work in-game, and I'm sure Shepard is better in playing Shepard in Mass Effect: The Real Life Edition than I am.

_Why is it that I always make those horrible plays on words when I shouldn't?_

Anyway, we were now assembled next to the airlock and the _NORMANDY_ was already preparing the boarding. Considering that the _NORMANDY's_ not supposed to do anything like that, I'll have to give Joker some credits for maneuvering us this close. Our helmsman didn't look too happy, though. Understandable. Literally, only one corner separates the bridge from a potential battlefield.

"Remember me when we're on the Citadel, that I'll request armor plating for this chair." he grumbled while keeping his gaze on the screens in front of him.

"Noted, Joker", the Commander answered with a tight-lipped smile.

We had done everything to keep the heat away from the _NORMANDY_ – additionally to the main squad, four marines of the security detail were covering the bridge and the airlock to prevent any counter-boarding attempt. They looked determined, and I made a mental note to maybe talk to them later. I didn't really have much contact to the _NORMANDY's _crew, except for those I knew from the game. On the other hand, I hadn't any time to socialize. Ash's murderous schedule made sure of that.

I put the glasses I had carried in my left fist on my nose and fastened them. Ashley was right... almost everything of my appearance screamed 'makeshift'. I did wear the usual Onyx armor, but with a few... upgrades. Balaclava, glasses and a steel helmet replaced the usual Alliance-issued headgear. My knife and its holster were stripped to my right thigh. My wristwatch was on the left wrist, the clock itself turned around so that I could look on it while carrying a rifle. There had been a few questioning glances from the others (especially Tali, but knowing her and with that mask I wasn't sure if hers was curious, confused or whatever), but I strapped it on anyway and no one objected.

The most definitely-not-Alliance-standard thing was the dark grey chest rig. I have no idea in which hidden corners of our arsenal our requisition officer, the always wayward Postle, has found it (and I probably don't wanna know), but when he showed it, I promised him a beer in the next port we would arrive. It fit perfectly and solved the problem where to stow my Molotovs and the medigel Dr. Chakwas handed me to carry for Shepard. Still hadn't trained as medic, still not too sure what to think about it, but whatever. Ah, and last thing, since I yet hadn't found time to bring on some markings on my armor I still wore the brassard with rank and everything on my left shoulder.

To describe my outfit in one sentence: I looked like a mixture of a Mass Effect 1 marine and a 20th century US marine.

"Let hope that helps", Ash quietly muttered under her breath. I'm not even sure I was supposed to hear that, but it didn't make me feel any better.

"Finishing docking procedure in three, two, one..." came from Joker. The last word was lost in the loud _bang!_ as the hulls connected. A metallic scratching followed, then an uneasy silence.

On Shepard's quiet order - "Ready!" - we raised our rifles and trained them on the lock. It hissed, opened and revealed the _NORMANDY_'s outer airlock – still closed. We waited a minute for the ships VI to analyze what was on the other side.

"_Area clear. No life signs in the entrance zone. Artificial gravity intact. Atmosphere green."_

"Alright", Shepard sighed and then spoke with authority. "Remember: Charlie team, defensive positions. Bravo, stand by. Assist at my command only. Alpha, follow me. Passive stance, don't shoot first."

She, Garrus and Kaidan stepped forward and lined themselves up in the decon chamber, then the inner seal closed.

I tried to keep a calm appearance, but nervousness slowly tied up my throat. According to our plan, Shepard would scout the area first and then call Bravo team in to wait inside the enemy ship, close to the airlock.

"You're alright, newbie?" A voice to my left startled me to a jump. Turning my head, I saw one of the marines, by his rank insignia a corporal. His helmet concealed most of his face save for the eyes, his right hand holding an Avenger rifle by its grip and his left hand raised as if to calm me down.

"Sorry 'bout that, mate", he said, his voice contorted, "you just look pretty tense there."

I gave him a nervous smile – which he couldn't see, thanks to breather mask and balaclava – and nodded once. "Yeah, thanks, I think I'll be alright when it starts."

"Just try to relax, man." a second marine spoke up. He wore the same Onyx armor as the first one, but with only a single golden stripe – a Private First Class. "We all went through this. Just remember that you're with a team." Switching to a cheerful voice, he added: "And with any luck you won't even have to fire a shot!"

"As if that would happen." the corporal answered with a snort and a shake of his head. "Ya know who our CO is."

"Not helping, Miller." Ashley's voice came from my right, and the death ray of a glare she shot Cpl. Miller quickly shut him up.

"C'mon, Ma'am, we're just tryin' to sweet-talk our newbie into playin' some Poker with us."

"Yeah, well, it's not working, Gordon, so I'd advise you to shut up and focus." Ash snapped. I think I saw just a hint of amusement in her eyes, though.

We more or less went back to our former stances.

"What a shame. I really need someone else to mug."

"Miller!"

"Shuttin' up now, Ma'am."

I made a mental note to learn how to play Skyllian-V _ASAP_.

In any event, for a brief moment, I felt a bit more relaxed – which was probably the whole reason for this banter. That changed a second later when I heard a familiar voice over my earphones.

"_Alpha, reporting in. No signs of hostile activity here. You can come in. Door's open."_

"Copy that, Ma'am." Ash answered and gestured towards us. "Let's go."

We stepped first into the decon chamber, then into the _ONTARIO. _As soon as the _ONTARIO's_ inner lock closed behind us (Garrus would tell me later how laughably easy it was to hack), the tension was back there – in full strength.

We came to the T-junction you spawn in in-game and took up positions like told – Ashley taking point and aiming into the cargo bay, Wrex to her left covering Tali, and me behind Ash and facing down the opposite corridor, watching the Team's back while Ash watched mine.

I nervously checked every angle, but no movement. Unsurprisingly, since all the action in this mission would happen in the cargo bay. Not even a sound. I almost expected Wrex to complain how boring this was.

Then, an inarticulated shout and gunfire. I flinched.

"_Contact!"_ Shepard's voice came in, calm yet tense, accompanied by the sound of bullets. _"Six or more tangos, pistols, biotics."_

I almost expected Ash or Wrex to rush in head first, but the Commander's orders were clear – holding this junction until either Shepard specifically called us or retreated with the hostage.

That put me in a scary position – looking down a corridor, being responsible for my teammates safety while a firefight raged on not even twenty meters _behind _me. And my back was completely exposed, only covered by the guns of my squad.

I felt like I was getting choked and had to muster all my willpower not to turn around.

And to keep my hands from shaking.

Luckily, this only lasted for maybe a minute before Shepard reported all hostiles down and moved on to free the hostage.

Another minute passed with nothing happening.

_It should be fine from now on,_ I told myself while attempting to slow down my racing heart. _Shepard's a paragon so she should be able to convince the biotics to -_

"_Hostiles, got the hostage, Bravo, move in!"_

_Fuck, fuck, fuck!_

* * *

Ash reacted fast. "Raven, Tali, hold this position!"

"Okay!" I answered, my voice cracking slightly. From the corner of my eye, I saw that Wrex didn't even bother waiting for his order – he bellowed a krogan battle cry and just stormed into the cargo bay, Ashley right behind him.

It would've been awesome to watch – if I hadn't suddenly suffered a severe panic attack. In retrospect, if someone would have attacked us at this moment I would have been a dead man.

_This is not supposed to fuckin' happen!_

"_I've got the hostage!"_

"_Need to CD, Wrex, cover us!"_

"_Raaaaaah!"_

"_Alright, let's go! Let's go!"_

The shouted orders over radio pulled me out of my brief shock.

_Get yourself together man, they need you!_

"_Raven, Tali, we're coming in, got hostiles on our tail, watch out!"_

"Copy that!", I shouted and tightened the grip on my rifle, turning around to face the cargo bay and pressed myself at the corner. A short glance to my left – Tali had drawn her assault rifle as well. For a brief moment, she faced me, and even though I couldn't see her eyes she looked dedicated.

A second later our guys run through the door – I was so nervous, I almost shot them. Ash taking point before Shepard who carried a battered civilian on her back, Garrus and Wrex behind her, Garrus firing his pistol over his shoulder, Wrex fully turned to the bay and firing shot after shot from his already steaming shotgun.

I pressed myself into the wall, the assault rifle and part of my head peaking around the corner and awaiting the incoming hostiles with shaky breath. _Where's Kaid-_

There he was, glowing blue and storming out of the cargo bay. His face contorted, his whole appearance exhausted.

And just when he charged by, someone else came into my sights.

The biotic terrorist screamed something inaudible, firing his pistol at Kaidan and only then noticing us.

For the fracture of a second, he looked... baffled.

* * *

I don't consciously remember pulling the trigger.

I'm not even sure if it was me who killed him, or Tali whose rifle sounded at the very same moment.

All I know is that his shields, already very low from the firefight before couldn't even handle a single bullet, and a moment later blood spilled from his chest.

He was without any cover, and he paid for it.

At least ten bullets hit him in various areas of stomach and chest – and at last, one the head.

He tumbled forward one step before going down in a mist of blood.

His last expression I saw through my sights was realization. Then he fell on his chest and didn't move again.

For a moment, I was just shocked. Then I felt bile rising in my throat and I had to close my eyes,

I barely_, barely_ kept myself from puking.

_Gunfire, ahead._ Opening my eyes again, I saw Tali's shields flicker under fire, and her retreating back into the corridor behind me.

At that moment, every emotion left me. My body almost moved on its own, a result of mine and Ashley's hard and dedicated training over the course of the past two weeks.

A peek around the corner, carefully so that only my steel helmet and my eyes were exposed. Quickly counting three hostiles taking positions at the cargo bay's door, then diving back into cover, firing my assault rifle blindly around the corner.

A jolt of pain in my right hand. I inhaled sharply and fully pulled myself behind the wall. The enemy pistols sounded. The bullets impacting next to me sounded like rain drops drumming on a metal roof. A deadly rain at that. I got tunnel vision, blurring everything except for what was right before my eyes.

I looked at my hand. I couldn't move the middle finger. A lucky bullet had punched through the rather weak shield and through the glove. Blood trickled out of the hole.

Everything felt like I was drugged, my thoughts were somewhat clouded, yet very clear at the same time. Instincts kicked in, trained routines.

I knew there were at least three hostiles around the corner. Tali had taken position behind me, firing past me at the tangos. The others had either taken positions in the corridor behind me or were trying to get aboard the _NORMANDY_ ASAP.

Thinking back, maybe the better choice would have been to fall back and let my squad mates covering my back while we retreated. But the trained routines I was running on thought about how devastating just a single biotic attack could be when it hit all of us, stacked as we were.

So I decided for another option. To delay them for as long as possible.

Trusting Tali to keep them at bay for the moment, I dropped the rifle and grabbed at my chest rig. Hissing slightly as I had to bend the wounded finger, I pulled out and unsealed a Molotov and my lighter.

It took not even half a second for the slightly modified lighter to set the fuel-dripping rug in flames.

Waiting for a brief pause in the enemy fire, I threw the flask around the corner into the cargo bay.

As I pressed myself back into cover, I heard the effect more than I saw it. Screams. Angry yells. More bullets.

And then, out of all sudden, a loud slam.

Peeking around the corner, I saw that the internal emergency seal had kicked in and tried to contain the fire as good as possible.

Regaining part of my composure, I mentally kicked myself for not thinking about this.

But at least we now had an opportunity to get the hell out... it wouldn't take them much time to override the seal anyway.

* * *

"Tali, Raven, fall back, time to go!"

Ash's voice in my ear startled me just a bit, but the quarian and I hurried back to the airlock. The _NORMANDY_'s marines covered our retreat, and a moment later the airlock sealed and a metal scratching told us that our ship had departed.

I felt completely numb, save for the pulsing in my right hand.

"Raven, you okay?"

With a blank stare, I looked into Kaidans worried face. Not able to formulate words, I made a gesture with my chin towards my hand.

Seeing my expression and the wound, he cursed and then grabbed my shoulder with his right while activating his headset.

"Doc, Raven's wounded, too. Bullet wound in his hand, minor shell shock. I'll bring him down ASAP."

He more or less walked me out of the airlock and towards the medbay. I tried to get a grip of myself, but was unable; the faces of those I walked past more or less shadows, and so their voices.

It was only when I noticed myself sitting on a coat in the medbay and had Dr. Chakwas checking my eyes when my brain snapped back to work. Kaidan said something about "checking the rest of the team" and left.

Then my facade broke completely. I tore Helmet, glasses and mask from my face. Shaking violently, I bowed to support myself on my knees - even though I was already sitting - and took a few very shaky breaths.

"Here, drink this." Chakwas handed me a small glass with a familiar smelling fluid in it.

I downed it in one go and inhaled sharply. _Schnaps_ – as expected.

"That's a good one, huh?"

I fought my tongue and my throat to speak again. "Indeed it is."

"There's no better way to get someone out of a shock than to give him a glass of pure Serrice Ice Brandy."

In any other moment, I would have known better than to react to that, but I was way out of balance. And laughed. Quite hysterically, actually. It was only when I had to fight for air that I realized the mistake I had made.

Chakwas gave me a curious glance. "What's so funny about that, dear?"

I quickly thought of an answer. "I'm sorry, Ma'am. But ain't Serrice Ice among the most expansive drinks in Alliance space? And you're using it as a _shock cure_?"

She smiled and poured herself a glass, too. "Yes, I do. But not without reason." Mischief glinted in her eyes. "That allows me to put it on my medical requisition list. And give the bill to the Alliance."

I laughed. Noticing that I calmed down, I took a look around – to see Shepard half lying on the bed opposite of me, half leaning against two or three pillows and looking at me with green eyes.

She was still wearing her armor. With horror, I noticed small streaks of red going from holes in her chest part towards her mid.

"Shep, you're alright?" _Another_ mistake, I noticed even before the last word fully left my lips. I had adopted Kasumi Goto's nickname for Shepard over the course of the Mass Effect series. Alright, if you're the one controlling her. Not so much, when you're her subordinate.

"I'- I'm sorry, Commander, I didn't mean to..."

Like always, my attempt at excusing myself was cut short.

"Oh, shut up, will you."

Her tone and her grin took the sting out of her words.

"I thought you said something about not caring about the chain of command, didn't you?"

"Well, that doesn't mean I wanna be deliberately disrespectful, Ma'am."

"I'll come back to that." she replied dryly. "In any event... I got a few bullets when I tried to get Burns" – she gestured towards the chairman whom I noticed only now, laying unconsciously on a coat in the corner - "out of there without a bullet in his head. Worked out, somehow. And now the good doc won't shut up 'bout checking the scratches."

"And you know I won't, because if I do, you just walk into your cabin and try to treat yourself on your own, Commander." the doc chided her. "I know you for a while now."

"Bugger.", Shepard mumbled. I had to grin – it sounded like a mother scolding her child who was afraid of the dentist.

"And what 'bout you, Raven?"

"Took some fire in the corridor." I answered and showed her my hand. "Bastard got lucky and hit it when I was firing blind."

"Speaking of fire." Shepard said, and her eyes narrowed a bit before she sighed. "Normally, I would have to give you an earful 'bout doing what you just did."

_Hm?_ "What did I do wrong, Commander?" I asked, puzzled.

"Blame me and Ashley for not telling you in time." she said. "But first..." She propped herself up on her elbows and fixed my with her eyes, slight worry in them. "How do you feel?"

"I dunno." I answered after a bit of hesitation. "I just … "The image of the terrorist's grimace as he died came back, and I flinched. Now that the adrenaline was starting to wear off, I felt increasingly sick and, even though the mission barely took ten minutes, tired. Not to mention that I was still bleeding. "I think I'll take a long and hot shower." I finished lamely.

"That's a very good idea.", Shepard said with a sigh. "Trust me, I know how you feel. Completely worn out and kind of dirty, right?"

I merely nodded.

"That happens to almost everyone after his first fight." she assured me. "Guess your time on Earth made it easier for you. You didn't even throw up."

"Was damned close, though." I whispered. Shepard nodded. "You never get fully used to killing someone." she answered just as quietly. "The only thing you can do is to remind yourself that you're doing the right thing."

We were silent for a moment. Dr. Chakwas scanned Shepard in the meantime and assured her that the damage was only superficial ("Told you. Only scratches." Shepard grumbled. The doc merely grinned.) , and that she would be able to leave the medbay in roughly a hour ("You didn't really thought you can keep me here, did you?"), then she came over to inspect me. Getting rid of that useless glove hurt like a biatch, but finally Chakwas was able to inspect the finger. From my professional point of view, it was a wonder that said finger was still attached to my hand. I had to look away.

"Your finger is broken", Chakwas told me matter-of-factly, "and it seems like the muscle tissue has taken quite some damage, too." She used medigel before firmly bandaging my whole hand. That made me hiss again, but fortunately, the miracle medicine took away the worst of the pain. "At least one week of rest for you, and come see me every day."

I nodded, still numbed and with the alcohol's taste on my lips. "Understood, ma'am."

"You just finished your first mission, soldier." I didn't expect Shepard to speak up. _A hint of… pride? Sympathy? Hard to tell - _"Don't worry, you will get used to all of this soon enough."

_I'm afraid so._

"Hey, look at me."

I tore my gaze away from my hand to look in Shepard's eyes.

"You did well for your first time. No one goes into his first mission and then gets out without a scar. I've seen what you did, and you kept yourself together."

She spoke to me like I was a child trying to learn how to ride a bicycle and failing. And it worked. At least a little bit.

"Thank you, Shepard." In truth, I wanted to get away from it all, at least for some time to bring some order into the chaotic storm of thoughts that ran through my mind.

"Now, go get yourself a hot shower. You've earned it." she said while offering me a weak smile. She probably knew exactly what was going on inside me. "We'll do a debrief in two hours in the Comm-room. Take your time."

"Aye-Aye, Ma'am."

I rose from my seat, grabbed my gear, and was just about to leave the medbay when a thought struck me. "Before I go – Commander, what was with the fire?"

She rose so that she was fully sitting on the bed, pointedly ignoring the doc's frown. "I noticed that you were using one of your incendiary flasks. Under usual circumstances, okay. And it worked this time, too. But, for future reference" - and at that she smiled an ironic smile - "please don't do that on a ship. At least, not without me giving you the order."

"I'm sorry, Commander, but I don't understand."

"Weeeeeell." she drawled, "With you growing up on Earth, you probably don't know that fire on ships can be quite dangerous. They've got a lot of electronics, for example. If you fry them, almost everything can happen."

Her look changed to an interesting mix of indulgent and sarcastic.

"With bad luck, you could have caused the ship's VI to vent the atmosphere. Or you could've just blow it up entirely. "

_Oh, goddamn-!_

"No hard feelings. We all started out as greens."

"Thanks... I suppose."

With that, I left the room almost as pale as I walked in.

* * *

The cargo bay was uncharacteristically quiet. The only sounds to be heard were the steady, almost sleep-inducing hum of the engines and the quiet scratching and occasional shuffling of armor parts. I had literally taken my whole equipment apart, cleansing it, checking it and even adding some modifications on my own. Ash was a very good teacher.

Except for me, the cargo bay was completely empty. The CQC course had been removed; even the Mako was missing from his usual spot.

Roughly two hours after the mission, we had transferred Chairman Burns to the Alliance courier frigate _SSV VERDUN_ and then immediately set course for Artemis Tau cluster (more precisely, the Sparta-system) where we had finally arrived a few days ago. Alliance Intelligence still was unable to find Liara, and I was seriously asking myself just how competent they were. It was very tempting to just say 'Therum' and be done with it, but... yeah.

Anyway: In order to get the team some much needed practice time with our resident APC, Shepard decided to more or less begin the Cerberus-questline by searching for Admiral Kahoku's 'Missing Marines'. It's at least in the same cluster as Liara, and with any luck we would be able to get a hint on our own - or so Pressley told me. I just shut the fuck up.

As always, Shepard took a squad of five people with her – and since I was still wounded, the Commander decided to leave me behind. After what I experienced on the _ONTARIO_, I didn't mind it all that much. I still hadn't really processed what happened there.

I put down the cleaning kit and took a look at my armor. It hadn't even been smudged in the fight, still I had felt the need to fully clean it to get rid of the imagined stench. Then I took my pistol from my holster, opened it up and removed the ammoblock.

Usually, I enjoy the silence. Sure, most of the time I'm alone I am listening to music, but it is always nice to just … shut everything down. To calm down and be able to think without anything disturbing me. It allows me to balance myself out, so to say. And it makes me very self-aware, something I find very important.

But for the past few days, I hadn't dare to stay in silence, always having noise around me, even going as far as listening to music while trying to rest at night. I was afraid to think about... everything.

Eventually I found myself unable to continue like that... it was enough that the pictures of both the burning turian back on the Citadel and now the dead terrorist were haunting me in my sleep.

So once the squad had left the _NORMANDY_ to face the thresher maw (though they didn't know about it) I grabbed my gear and went to the quietest corner I could find. Cleaning everything was not that hard of a task, even with a bandage... but it kept my hands occupied.

In the meantime, millions of thoughts went through my mind... underlaid by the omnipresent fear and uncertainty which had dominated me for the last few days. Even though nobody had said anything, I am sure everyone in our squad has noticed how restless I got. I think they blamed my injury and the shell shock for it, and to tell the truth, they were partially right. However, the sting was deeper than that.

The storm in my brain got worse and worse, making it almost impossible to grab one single piece of information I could work with. After a while, I lost it, and threw my pistols' ammoblock onto the ground in rage. The loud impactimmediately sobered me up, and I expected someone to come down to investigate. Everything stayed quiet though, and there I stood, clenching my fists and taking a deep breath. Then I started wandering around, trying to maintain a steady breathing.

_Alright, from the start._

First: Why did I panic so badly? Okay, I am new to this. I never was in the military; I was never in a real firefight. The closest I've ever got to that was paintball. Of course I might panic in my first fight. There's my life at stake, for crying out loud.

But why now, and not on the Citadel? Was it because I was able to prepare myself back then? Do I have to expect panic attacks the next time I'm in the field? _Can I still trust myself?_

Second: Why did the Commander - _did we _– manage to get Burns out, even after Shepard obviously failed the negotiation?

Why did that negotiation fail in the first place? Shepard is a full-out paragon, ain't she? She should have easily been able to convince the terrorist leader to let Burns go. Or is there some restriction I don't remember anymore? Nay... hell, do those rules even apply here? This is real life, isn't it?

Then why did the scene on the Citadel go exactly like in-game? Well... except for the parts I manipulated by being there. But then, how did my presence on the _ONTARIO_ change the events on that freaking ship?

I sighed and put my head against the wall. _There we go again._

I stood there for at least ten minutes, trying to solve this _clusterfuck_ of a mess in my head.

Then I gave up.

I literally said "Fuck this all." _There is something going on I can't influence. All I can do now is to continue like I did before. And if there's something coming up, I have to deal with it. At least it sounds simple enough._

My gaze fell upon the ammoblock. I picked it up and inspected it – the edge had broken off. Most people would think that a simple block of metal would be all it takes to feed a weapon, but in reality, this block needs to have a certain quality. If it is scarred enough, the weapon may get unbalanced, or the mechanism for splitting off the ammo-grains may fail, resulting in some kind of jamming.

Sighing again, I threw the block into the recycler. Then I walked over to the work station... to support myself on it and look down on my hands.

_So, no more 'let the Crew do the job and just hang around with 'em'._ I assumed that my time in Mass Effect would more or less consist of: "Be part of the team, let the events play out as they would in the game and occasionally intervene to defuse some of the more BS situations." Virmire, for example. Because if I intervene too much, I may end up fucking up this whole story. I mean, the Reapers _do_ get defeated in the 'vanilla' ending. I just can't _risk _that.

_But how do I do this when I can't be sure anymore?_

My gaze fell on the fresh pistol ammoblock next to Ashleys spare assault rifle. _Frightening. But, on the other hand... Well..._

I hesitated for a second. Then I grabbed that thing on impulse, took my pistol from my belt and slammed the block in. And grinned ever so slightly.

_At least it gets interesting._ If all these things aren't certain anymore, then I will have to take part in the action. What I do really has an effect on this freakin' universe. I can make a difference without risking too much – except for myself. _And that's what I've basically been doing from the very start._

Feeling just a bit better, I turned around just in time to hear Joker's voice over the intercom. _"Squad leader reports EVA ending. Approaching pick-up coordinates in T minus five. Everyone, clear the cargo bay!"_

The Mako would literally fly into the cargo bay, and anything in it's way was likely to get reduced to the size of a stamp. Shepard as experienced N7 and Joker as best frigate pilot in the Alliance always make sure that it won't get overly dangerous... but for once I was glad that security protocol existed.

I quickly fixed the gear lying around on the magnetic part of Ash's workbench and headed for the elevator. When the shutter closed itself behind me, I thought about the mission. _Alright... with the Missing Marines out of the way, the next part that follows is..._

* * *

… _not what I expected, but whatever._

* * *

_**A/N:** Hello folks. As you've probably noticed, yeah, I'm not dead or anything. Where do I start? ._._

_During the last eight weeks, there's been a lot on my plate. Starting with university stuff, a writers block, Fallout 4, more university stuff... and serious motivation issues overall. For an example, the first part of this, the one aboard the ONTARIO? I've been rewriting this. Four goddamned times. Before I had remotely a feeling like that was any good._

_There just came a point where I said: "Break from Mass Effect. Now." So I stopped writing for a few weeks and have been doing other stuff instead. For example, reading through all these fanfictions that had been on my list for like a year and I've never had the time to. But rest assured, this story will. be. finished. I like to keep my word, and it's not like writing this is no fun to me - if it wasn't, you wouldn't be reading these lines. But don't expect me to publish a chapter every month again - considering what my schedule looks like, I must've been drunken when I wrote that statement. I also didn't thought you guys would be that much interested in this story - thank you all for reading so far! _

_I wanted this Chapter to be a bit longer - there's still a side mission coming up before we move on to Therum - but looking at what's coming up in my real life, I decided to release this chapter as it is now and add the missing part as another, shorter chapter. With any luck, it will be finished before the end of this month, but even if it is not, it won't take another full month. _

_Alright then. With this out of the way - thanks again for continuing to read this story, which was once just a silly idea of mine! Please consider reviewing, fav'ing and following :) Until next time!_


	10. Six - UNC: Asari Diplomacy

_**"Life, like poker has an element of risk. It shouldn't be avoided. It should be faced." ** \- Edward Norton_

* * *

**Chapter 6: UNC – Asari Diplomacy**

… _not what I expected, but whatever._

_"Approaching drop zone. One Minute."_

_For being pictured as a likable, snarky idiot, Joker surely is professional when it counts._

I struggle a bit against the security harness, trying to get a bit more comfortable in my seat. I get that it's for my own safety, but does it really have to be that snug?

_Maybe it's because he's not yet unleashed. Give him two years, a defection towards Cerberus and an annoying AI turning GF over the course of a year, then we'll see again._

_Joker Unleashed. Now that's a nice title for a movie. Can't be worse than Blasto VI._

_Focus!_

"_Copy that, Joker. Everyone, report in!" _comes Shepard's voice over radio. As security protocol dictates, we're all wearing fully sealed armors. What means that I'm sweating under this damned balaclava. I briefly look at the temperature – thirty degree Celsius. _No wonder, with six people and a lot of tech-stuff in here._

At least the breather mask allows me to breathe nice and cool air.

I double-check my console for the tenth time or so. That goddamned feeling when you just _know_ that everything's working and you still feel like there could be _something_ that you've missed...

"_Gunner, ready."_ Garrus in the turret. Or, what counts as a tank turret these days.

Finishing my checks, I add a loud "Sensors, ready."

"_Engineer, ready."_ Tali sits directly behind me on her consoles, facing the opposite wall of the tank – or rather, watching over the pointers and scales which indicate the tank's condition. It's quite obvious that she doesn't really trusts this vehicle all that much – while everyone of us has a certain amout of omnigel for emergency repairs, Tali has five times the amount with her. The image of Shpard's feigned hurt still makes me grin.

"_Cargo, ready."_

I turn my gaze from my console towards our resident krogan, giving him an approving nod. "Nice one, Wrex."

"Hmph." He kind of acknowledges. His face is hidden behind his intimidating helmet, though. With him and Ashley sitting opposite of each other (and immediately next to me, too), the APC feels kind of cramped. Well, doubtful that the engineers had krogan battlemaster in mind when they designed the interiors.

"_All hands clear."_ Shepard answers, amusement evident before going serious again. _"Twenty seconds to drop. Battle comms!"_

Battle comms means: No trashtalking, mission-related communications only. And just like this, the anxiety is back.

We feel a slight shaking as the _NORMANDY_ enters Sharilja's atmosphere.

"_Ten seconds!"_

A deep rumble from behind the tank.

"_Cargo Bay open."_

"_Drop in five, four..."_

I clench my fists one last time before resting them on my consoles.

"_...one, GO!"_

Shepard let go of the brakes, and the momentum carries us out of the bay.

The pull in my stomach is _really_ unpleasant. The front camera's feed, showing the ground coming closer very fast, isn't helpful either.

Then a loud hissing- the upward thrusters kick in.

_"Brace for impact!"_

I clench my teeth to make sure I won't accidently bite on my tongue.

A second later, the whole tank shakes violently. Without the harness, my head would've met the console. It takes a few bounces before the tank is finally still.

"_Everyone alright?"_

_No. But go on._ I shake the confusion out of my head and focus on scanning the surrounding area. "Ready." _Next time,_ _I'll request a damned parachute and jump on my own. _Then I see the 52 atmosphere pressure on my barometer._ I'll stay with the tank._

"_All clear."_ reports Ashley. A glance around confirms that everyone else is okay.

"_Raven, what do you see?"_

"Immediate surroundings clear. Multiple anomalies on the map." I press a few holo-buttons. "The facility Joker has found is marked out for you."

Unlike in the game, of course our scanning from orbit had revealed the slaver base almost immediately. Surprising enough, it was decently shielded against detection – but the pirate's counter-measurements were no match for the _NORMANDY's_ state-of-the-art recon scanner systems.

The original plan was just to do another test-run with the Mako and to practice both some Mako-action and some EVA's (Extra Vehicular Activities) in a high-pressure environment. But Shepard being Shepard, of course she chooses Sharilja. And of course, Sharilja happens to have a base on it which was not on any map and powered up. The scans didn't show anything of what was going on, really, so our Commander decided to check it out.

"I detect no hostile scans whatsoever." I add, eyes darting between screens and listening for enemy radio. "Also a bit of radio chatter, not encrypted, sounds casual. Seems like they haven't noticed us." _Joker did enter the atmosphere in stealth and we are roughly ten clicks away. Educated guess_.

"_Okay everyone",_ answered Shepard in her commander voice, _"we'll check out the secondary objectives first, then approach primary target. Raven, plot a course to S-One. Try and keep us hidden."_

"Copy, plotting course." With the high gravity, at least I don't have to worry about trails of dust in our path. "Course plotted."

The engine sounds in acknowledgement, and we're Oscar Mike.

I really would like to take in the surreal surroundings – Sharilja's dusty desert has a beautiful brown-orange color to it and the sun creates strange looking shadows – but I can't look at the external cams for more than a few seconds before one of the screens calls for my attention. Also, I can't let my guard down – or we're all vulnerable.

A few minutes later we arrive at Secondary One – a tent with a few storage boxes scattered around. I report everything I see to Shepard, and she orders Wrex and Ash to get off the tank. Keeping my eyes on the screens, I only hear a slight hissing from the rear airlock. A second later the two of them, and Shepard – who exited through the secondary driver's lock – appeared on my cam. Then it blacked out.

I cursed slightly. "Garrrus, keep an eye out for hostiles. My cam's out – need to re-adjust it."

"_Copy that." _A soft mechanic hum tells me that Garrus is turning around the turret, sweeping the surrounding area while I hunted the error in the jungle of potential failures. It's not like we are in any real danger – enemies approaching will definitely show up as heat-signatures or something – but the cam was important for marking out priority targets. And the only way I can get a visual. Do not ask me why the turret's camera is not linked to my sensor systems. I'm content enough that I'm able to do anything useful at all – once again, I silently thank Ashley again for being so very throughout and patient with me.

_I hope Horizon will never happen._

Shepard and her squad in the meantime are investigating said building – as good as they're able with the pressure hazard. I feel uneasy whenever Tali announces how much time they have left for the EVA; but fixing this problem takes much of my awareness and the rest is pretty much absorbed in keeping an eye on the sensors. At least I have a failsafe – the Mako's VI. But from my professional opinion, said VI is as intelligent as a toast.

After three minutes, I find the error – a cable slipped out of its port. _So much for futuristic technology_. The cam is just back online when the group returns, Ashley and Shepard carrying a metal box with them. "Cam's back, Commander – what's that? A present?"

"_Pretty much, Yeah."_ It's only when she's back at her controls that she speaks again. _"Don't ask me where that camp came from, or why, but my omnitool says that there's something pretty old inside it. A writing of some kind... and, what makes this interesting is that there's something written on the crate... translator says its Armali, can't read it though."_

There are only two reasons why a translator can sometimes recognize, but not properly translate written things. First, the writing is too damaged. Or, second, it's an older dialect of sorts. In that case the translator may recognize certain words, but not all of them - and since these tools are programmed to provide an understandable instead of a literal translation, it may be unable to figure out what it means.

In this case, it's quite obvious what's inside. At least for me. _Sharilja, campsite location, ancient storage box with asari writings on it... one of Matriarch Dilinga's writings_. I can barely suppress a sigh. _We're not really going to search for 'em all, are we?_

They discuss if we should try and open the crate up immediately, but seeing just how ancient that thing is Shepard decides we shall either until we're back on the _NORMANDY_, or rather 'til we can drop the package for the asari. _Whatever works for her. As long as she doesn't combs the whole Traverse for it, like me, we're good._

The next stop on our way is surprisingly easy to handle – the mineral ressourcen is close by. It takes about one minutes of me scanning it to declare it's a big one. Shepard plants a beacon next to it, done. Almost casual.

Then Shepard announces we'll take on Primary-One. The slaver base. _And back into the fray. Let's just fucking hope you've learned your lesson, or else... no, don't think about it. Only makes things worse._

_Ah, fuck. Too late._

* * *

A few minutes later, my voice broke the radio silence. "Contact! Multiple tangos ahead! Infantry!"

We weren't yet in sight, but the signatures on-screen were pretty obvious – red markers separated themselves from the building and spread out. Radio chatter went overdrive for a few seconds, then a single voice – human female or asari – gave a loud command and everything died down.

"They're on battle comms, Commander!" It may be superstitious, but if there's one thing I've learned from my gaming experience, especially from playing team-based games, it's how to give useful information even while being nervous. "They know we're coming, they don't seem to know where from, though. Repeat: They know we're here!"

"_Copy that, Raven."_ It didn't take too much fantasy to imagine Shepard studying the map thoroughly as I did. _"We'll try and get some cover and some high ground. Garrus, stay on your toes!_"

The turian confirmed. Shepard drove up a hill, a hill I knew all too well – I called it 'sniper hill', since in-game, I really liked to hide the Mako there and snipe the hostiles from above. There was enough cover to recharge shields in-between attacks. And we would need it – the moment we peeked over the top, we got met by infantry-grade weapons.

"Snipers on those watchposts!" I marked a few of them out. "Rest is normal infantry, it seems, don't detect any heavy weaponry."

"_Copy. Garrus: Snipers have priority. Fire at will!"_

Shepard had barely finished her statement when she was drowned out by the powerful sound with which our main gun fired the slugs. The effect was devastating. An explosion rocked the watchpost I had in my sights. The turian sniper in it exploded in a mist of blue blood and gore. I quickly closed my eyes and breathed. _Not again._

The battle was pretty one-sided. The mercs were uncoordinated and lacked any heavy weaponry. Only occasionally did Shepard hide the tank from enemy fire to recharge the shields and drove somewhere else to attack from another direction. Not once did Tali have to use her engineering skills to patch us up.

Once the last merc went down to our tank's 'turret machine gun' and succumbed to high pressure, Shepard drove the tank right to the base's door. I blinked as I saw the 'VI has taken control' sign on my screens._  
_

_"Everybody, we're going in!"_

I was the last to leave the tank, briefly admiring the Alliance' engineers. Despite how cramped everything was, the whole six people squad left the Mako in less than twenty seconds - and that without much routine.

I set my foot on the dusty ground and, despite everything, crouched down and let the sand run through my fingers with a dreamlike expression on my face.

_"Raven, what's up?"_

I looked up and saw Ashley. I grinned at her, though she couldn't see it - which seemed to be a common occurrence these days. "Sorry, I couldn't help it." I stood back up and readied my rifle.

"It's the first time I'm on another planet" I explained, still smiling. A warm feeling washed over me - a dream came true. Not like I imagined it, but still. Huh. Sharilja may be a high-pressured, dangerous and dusty hellhole, but with the sun shining – and not even our Sun! - it still managed to feel felt kind of magical.

I tried so hard not to be overly fascinated with everything, but this was one battle I lost quickly.

The others stayed silent, but it wasn't uncomfortable. Garrus patted me on my back once in camaraderie, the others nodded in confirmation, most likely remembering the first time they set foot on a different world. Even Wrex.

"_C'mon, let's move."_ The Commander finally broke the silence. I nodded once and got into a combat stance, training the rifle on the lock. Shepard went past me to take point.

As she went by, our faces briefly met. I didn't need to see her mouth.

Her eyes did the smiling for it.

* * *

The room immediately after the airlock was empty.

"Strange." said Garrus, keeping his rifle trained on the second lock in the room. We had unsealed our helmets to save the oxygen in our suits and were now talking to each other, without the help of radio.

"That can't be all of them." agreed Ash, not lowering her guard even for the split of a second.

"If I were them, I'd try to surprise any unwelcomed guests right at the door." Wrex' tactical assessment is unexpected, but fits quite well. If I didn't know better, I would have expected the same.

"Commander, I've got two possible reasons why they're not fighting us here."

"Shoot."

"First, we've killed 'em all or killed enough of 'em to make the rest run for the hills."

"Unlikely. The second?"

"This area is basically an open room. They've got no cover." I looked over to where Shepard watched me with interest. "We have neither, but they're mercs. They want to stay alive, not risk anything in a fair fight. If I were them, I'd set up an ambush in a room with plenty of cover, and maybe some sort of a high ground for the snipers. This looks like a warehouse, after all. And I don't think they're burned all of their snipers out there."

"Sounds smart." Shepard admitted. Anyone else would've been sarcastic. Not her. "What else?"

"Watch for booby-traps. When we did this back on Earth, we would place mines or something like that on the chokepoints."

"We're thinking alike, Raven." Shepard beamed at me. "What you're saying sounds just about right."

_Thanks, Shep. I had plenty of time to think of this little speech._

"Okay, this is how we do it. We open this door, but stay away from it. Wrex and me take point. Ash, Garrus, you behind us. Tali and Raven, you stay away for a moment. When we advance, do it slowly and methodical. Raven, you cover our left, Tali, you our right flank. You know how to do this. Everyone ready?"

"Affirmative." We lined ourselves up at the door, me behind Ash and Shepard. For a second, I listened deep inside me. _Are you really ready for this? You know how that ended the last time._

But this time was different.

A bit of myself wanted out, back to the tank or, even better, back to the safety of our ship. Another part wanted to make up for the last time, to prove myself that I was ready and willing to put myself into the fire. This part hated the other one for the panic – irrationally. There was no way I could ever be prepared for hostile fire, and logically, I knew it. But logic and personal pride do not always get along that well.

Once I had broken the tie in my brain, so to say, I analyzed what happened to me on the _ONTARIO._

Long story short: I was naive. I assumed we would just go in and everything would work out. When things went south, I was not prepared for it, and suddenly responsible for much more than I anticipated. Result: Panic.

This time around, I had three tings working in my favour. First, I now knew better than to just asume things. We're just started; I can't positively know that everything would play out as in the game. _Thinking of it, my very own presence in all of this makes this story AU_.

I roughly know what the frame is, but to paint the picture in our favor, I need to add my own colour.

_You're quite the poet there, dude._

_That or maybe I had too much downtime in the last few days. And too few cigarettes. And alcohol._

Second, I finished the job. Barely, trembling, sloppy, but I did it. I can do this. I just have to believe it.

And the third was standing right in front of me – both of them. Instead of continuing like nothing ever happened, Ash spoke to me. She told me of her first time under fire. As a green recruit, she had experienced the same things I did and now told me about it, in a way that made both of us chuckle about her past mistakes – and, by proxy, about my own. Kaidan eventually joined in as we chatted in the officer's mess, and soon the three of us were laughing openly, annoying the ever living hell out of Lieutenant Pressley who sat down next to us and just wanted to eat his sandwich in peace.

Blinking my eyes, I refocused on what happened right now: Shepard and Wrex talked quickly about when and how to push past the door.

I leaned back into the wall, checking my sights one last time and adjusting them to a combat distance of twenty meters. I had a mod installed for a chance of bypassing shields; methodical headshots would be the key. Difficult, considering this was an assault rifle, but had had done wonders with the barrel. She effectively tripled the accuracy; at the cost of a lower heatsink capacity, but just what I needed.

_I owe you quite a lot, huh, Ash?_ I smiled at her, hidden behind my mask. _At least an apology. But you won't even know what I'm apologizing for, and the explanation would be awkward_.

She may be xenophobe to an extent, she may be Alliance to the core, but there was so much more beneath the surface. Even to me, who had seen her at her worst on Horizon and her best during her romance.

That's the problems with both videos and video games: They only show a splinter of who a person really is. And many people only see what's obvious – like Ashley's xenophobia, or the rejection on Horizon.

I feel ashamed to admit it, but I did the same. Only if you really live and fight with these guys you realize that they're not just flat video chars – however detailed they might be – but living, breathing persons. Not flawless, of course not, but there are other sides to them as well.

_Too bad you're still my least favorite LI._ I grinned now, luckily not noticed by anyone._ But I think there might be someone else who's quite interested in you_. The thought of Virmire hang like a black cloud above me, and I was hell-bound to change this part of Mass Effect.

_That's the least you deserve._

"Everyone ready?"

I snapped back to attention, tightening the grip on my rifle and nodding my acknowledgement. The others radiated 'readiness'. I smiled again.

I started to feel fond of them all, not because they were a few of my favorite chars in video game history – but because they were genuinely nice people to have around. I began to understand and appreciate how Shepard managed to unite the whole know galaxy against the Reapers. She just has this 'aura of confidence' with her. Words cannot describe it; you have to experience how she inspires people.

"Let's roll!"

Shepard slapped the door controls, and said door is not even fully open when the first bullets impact before us, fired by some too eager riflemen.

Shepard waited a second, looked around the corner, fired a few bullets; one red indicator diappeared from the HUD projected on my glasses.

"Break! Go, Go, Go!"

Wrex roared, form a biotic barrier around him and charged in, Shepard hot on his tail.

Ash and Garrus waited for a whole five seconds, then they went in as well, Ashley already firing as she ran.

I went directly next to the door, grinning like a lunatic at the sound of bullets and at how the red dots on my HUD vanished. I felt the adrenaline rush through my veins and a mad confidence: _We cannot fail! _

Looking back, I'm still amazed at how different my attitude was compared to the hostage rescue. But at least, I now know partially where it came from.

I didn't feel like I was isolated, but with five of the best.

I didn't have enemies rushing my position – _we_ were attacking.

I wasn't out of balance – I was focused.

And this time, I was _ready._

I exchanged a look with Tali, nodded in silent understanding, and in the second the firing sounds died down for a millisecond I stormed in.

* * *

My only warning is a flickering shield.

Then I feel something impacting into my chest. No stinging pain, though – the armor does its work.

Then I'm sliding into cover and get my head down. Bullets whizz past me, a few impact into the wall before me.

The window-thingy in the center of the entrance zone is a decent cover, but I should try and move as soon as possible.

A glance to my left – our two femmes fatales crouched at the crates, firing around the corner. To my right – a massive red krogan battlemaster, shrouded in blue and shrugging the incoming bullets off as if it was nothing. Nobody paid any attention to Tali who slided next to me.

I face Shepard, and she nods, just once.

"Shock!"

We all emerged from our cover at the same time. I take someone in my sights – a lone salarian pirate, on the balcony – and fire a few rounds. His shields flicker and he vanishes back behind cover.

To my left and right, I see two blue lights. Shepard and Wrex are charging up their biotic abilities – and then they unleash two Pulls on our completely helpless enemies.

They may outnumber us. They may have an Asari-biotic in their ranks. But they lack skill, they lack discipline, and they lack firepower. The two pulls neutralize most of the enemies in the open – easy prey for Ashley and Tali. Soon, there are more floating corpses than yelling pirates.

I barely notice that, though – my focus is on uppressing the enemy snipers. Only for a second I regret that Kaidan's not with us – he is back on the _NORMANDY,_ ready to drop with his team in case we need reinforcements.

A split-second later the salarian raises his head back from cover. Maybe he expects me to have to cool down, maybe he panics and wants to help his mates – it doesn't matter. I have him firmly in my sights and control my breathing. It's only a small angle between the balcony above us and his position that I can shoot through – but I have trained for this.

My weapon is at 20% heat. The second he appears, I coldly pull the trigger.

I need to overheat my rifle to compensate the rifle's relative inaccuracy with sheer rate of fire. But then, with the last burst I hear an ugly crunch. The salarian falls down – his visor cracked and blood on the inside. Headshot.

It is so much... easier than the first time.

Feeling a dangeous surge of adrenaline in my bloodstream, I unshoulder the rifle and try to take a look around. Only then do I notice that my shields are almost down.

And that there is a red dot in my eyes.

I react out of a reflex. I drop on my knees just in time.

A hard punch against my head, and the ringing sound of a ricochet.

"_Scharfschütze!_"

I yell without thinking. My brain went offline the moment I killed the salarian.

Tali reacts faster than anyone else, dragging me down, out of the sniper's line of sight while the others keep fighting. I touch my head – the steel helmet now has deep scratch. My head spins, but it's manageble.

"You alright, Raven?"

Shepard's shout makes me pull myself together. She is pressed into her cover, blue elmsfire dancing around her head, and looking at me with a shocked look. The adrenaline blurs everthing else.

"Yeah... yeah, I'm fine!" Then I remember. "Shepard, sniper, ten o'clock, high up!"_ It must be ten o'clock. Another angle, and he couldn't shoot me from high-ground. _

"Copy!"

Gesturing to Tali that I'm fine, I drop my overheated rifle and pull the pistol. I am where I suspect the sencond sniper to seek cover – when I hear an angry yell ahead.

"I will destroy you!"

The younger Dantius looks very pissed, her biotics are charged and she fires upon Shepard with her pistol.

But she foolishly stands in the dead center of the room. And while her barriers are strong – she too goes down to our focussed fire in a matter of seconds. Her death cry is a scream of agony and anger.

_Too bad I know you're slaver scum, Dahlia._ I snarl. _Don't worry, your sister will follow you soon enough._

I don't allow my thoughts to linger there much longer. Instead, I raise my pistol back to the sniper's cover. I keep firing, effectively pinning him behind the box. The turian then resorts to firing blindly.

"Everyone, push, push!"

Shep's order is what we need to charge out of our cover and take the room. She takes point, Ash follows, and the two of them circle around the big crates to effectively wrap things up. Wrex and Tali pushed the right flank, killing any remaining pirates trying to ambush them behind the second window thingy.

I jump over my cover, run behind a crate and aim up to where the enemy sniper is, all the while suppressing him with my pistol for as good as possible.

I notice gunfire from my right and see that Wrex and Tali have cleared up the right flank, Wrex blasting off a human's face with his shotgun.

It makes me queasy and I quickly look back to the box. I see the turian peeking for a second. I keep firing, and he crouches again.

_I can't continue like this. I need to take him out; or Shepard and Ash might be shot in the back._

_But I can't use an incendiary, I need at least three seconds - plenty of time for him to shoot me when I can't shoot back._

_Wait._

"Wrex! I need help!"

He turns around, looking me dead in the eyes.

I fire a few more bullets in the sniper's direction, always keeping an eye on the pistol's heat. "Sniper, behind that box! Pull him out!"

He glances at me for a second, then nods curtly and focuses.

A wave of blue lifts the turian from behind his cover. He desperately claws after his gun, or anything he could grab to keep himself covered. I aim downsights, and for a second our eyes meet.

He doesn't plead for mercy. He radiates such hate that I shiver.

A few bullets from my pistols, and Talis and Wrex assault rifles finish him off. He drops back on the balcony, dead.

Suddenly, it is very quiet in the warehouse. I see Ash and Shepard move over to our position, their rifles drawn, but not fcused on any target.

There was no red marker left on my HUD. The whole battle didn't even take three minutes.

"Squad, report in!"

"All hostiles eliminated. Facility secured."

"Everyone okay? Raven, your head is alright?"

"Yeah. Going to have a hell of a headache later, I'm afraid." I knock on said helmet once, but then I flinch. It's already hurting.

"Get yourself some painkiller's from Chakwas. Or don't; you kinda deserve that. I thought I'd get a heart attack when your shields went out." Ash says, sighing in a way as if she wants to rid herself of everything. "Especially when you yelled. What the hell was that?"

"Ehm. It was 'Sniper!'. On German."

"Uh-huh."

"Yeah. Sorry."

"Forget it."

"C'mon, people." Shepard interrupted. "We're not done yet. Raven, where's your rifle?"

"Back there; I dropped it when it overheated."

"Grab it and get ready, just in case." She pointed on the door of which I knew that it would lead to the office with the computer and the data inside. Let's see what's inside."

As I walk back to grab my rifle, I feel the Adrenaline leave my body. Tiredly I grab at my tigh – to notice that I'm wearing an armor. I then remember that the package of cigarettes is still aboard the _NORMANDY_ – safely stored in my locker. Next to my wristwatch. Not to mention that I'm still on doctor's orders anyway.

I curse loudly, causing Tali and Garrus to cast me curious glances.

* * *

At least this time, everything worked out just like in the game. Shepard and Tali searched the terminal for useful information – and found lots of evidence about the slaver's identity. Someone, I think Garrus, remembered that Nassana Dantius was a diplomat on the Citadel. Shepard then decided that we confront the older Dantius sister the next time we where at the galaxy's capital.

We left the building with a lot of loot – weapon mod, a few new armors, a few new weapons. Luckily, the Mako had some kind of a storage deck.

Now that the fighting died down I showed the same symptoms like on the _ONTARIO_ – mild nausea, tiredness, everything really.

'Combat sickness', I called it with a hint of cynism. But this time, the effects were – less bad than before. _Was it because I got used to killing people? Was it because the situation was much different?_

I decided that it was better for my mental health not to think about all of this. _With any luck, we'll only be fighting Geth for the next weeks. And Geth don't splatter. _

_Great. And then we're on Feros._

I took off the helmet and put my head in my hand, groaning lightly. My headaches were getting stronger, despite me administering medigel to my head. Additionally, the punch in my chest had left a bruise I couldn't treat planetside – I needed to get on the ship to rid myself of that armor. Ashley had taken over at the sensors.

I wasnt the only one, though. Shepard being a Vanguard had taken quite some fire as well; and while her armor was better than mine, the blood she spilled was... worrisome. Shepard treated it as if it was nothing, and while I didn't feel too comfortable seeing her walk around like that, I knew better than to try and treat her without her order. I merely passed her some medigel when nobody watched.

The other one was Wrex. I didn't worry about him at all, though. He can take a pistol round to his headplate without any problems. He's a krogan, after all.

I worried more about myself. I sat directly opposite of him. He had already taken off his helmet, but is intense stare in my direction was just as unnerving.

Under different circumstances, I probably would have been scared or something. The mix of painkillers, headaches and nausea made everything else irrelevant, though.

"What's up, Wrex? You look like I am a salarian scientist."

His eyes narrowed. _Now_ I started to worry.

"You have nerves to call me like that." he growled. "I only follow Shepard. You, I tolerate. Don't think you can give me orders."

I stared at him in disbelief. My tongue slipped.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? I _asked_ for your help, man!"

He grinned at me – an emotionless, cold krogan grin. Before he could say something, tough, I continued in a more heated tone.

"Wrex, we had a sniper behind a cover. I wasn't able to get him out of there. You are a biotic. Logical conclusion: You pull him out f cover so we can finish him off. There's no time to say 'please' in a battle!"

I leaned back against the Mako's cool armor platings and closed my eyes. All fear was gone – I had no power left to be afraid. "Shep said, we're a team. If we can't work as one, we're done. So, do whatever you want."

I noticed a few of the others carefully looking in our direction. Ashley carefully fumbled at her hip and closed her hand around the pistol.

But Wrex just laughed. "Hah! Looks like you've got some nuts after all, kid."

With that, he even gave me a respectful nod before leaning back.

I nodded, tiredly. I didn't even try to understand what was going on anymore.

Only later did I realize that this was the moment where Wrex started to respect me.

For now, I was content enough to know that we were now driving to a pick-up zone and that the Alliance would send someone else to secure the base and bag the corpses.

We would be back on the _NORMANDY_ in less than ten minutes,

Back home.

* * *

"C'mon', lads. Let's show what yer got."

I took a look at the cards in my hand, then back to Corporal Miller who put a three-of-a-kind, three Sevens, on the table with a triumphant grin.

Privates First Class Gordon and Katsavidis, a tall man of roughly thirty years with a distinct eastern-European accent, both groaned almost simultaneously, only widening Miller's impertinent grin. Corporal Mason, on the other hand, just put his cards face-down on the table and closed his eyes with a resigned sigh.

"He's cheating, I tell y'all."

"He ain't." A female voice spoke up from behind Miller. Private First Class Danners steps from the microwave oven to the mess table, a hot tray in her hands. "I would see that, y'know."

Serviceman Third Class Artozeck, a young man of barely my age, scoffed at that while putting his own hand down – a Pair of Queens. "And how do we know you're not secretly on his side?"

"Thank's for confirmin' that I've got a pull with the ladies, man."

"That's what you think, Miller." She rolled her eyes, but in amusement. It was well-known that while having a bit of a loose tongue, Miller wasn't quite an a-hole type of marine – he just liked to make fun out of everything and everyone. He wasn't bad-looking,too; but everyone knew that he had a loving wife and two young children and was fiercely loyal to them.

If he wasn't married however, I wouldn't have judged him if he tried to make a move on Danners. She was the oldest of the bunch with thirty-five years, but looked not a single day older than twenty-seven. Shoulder-length light blonde hair, most of the time tied to a bun like Ashley's. Scandinavian type of eyes, but in an almost-yellow light brown that did not quite fit in. It looked good anyway.

She did look like the soft type of woman, but everyone who had witnessed her in combat was asking themselves why she was at that age and just a Private. The answer was simple – she had enlisted in her late-twenties. Rumors were she did so to escape from a rather colorful past, but she never spoke about it and no one wanted to get on her bad side – for various reasons.

"Alright Raven, it's only you left. What do ya have?"

I usually am no one who's easily angered, except for when I'm in the mood for it. (Others say that I'm constantly angry, but don't believe them.) In this case however, Miller's grin (for the lack of an appropriate word) did ignite the desire in me to test my newly-learned CQC-skills.

But while his banter was rage-inducing, I couldn't help but smile anyway. After all, it was Miller who gave me the chance to get to know my fellow marines in the first place.

It had been a few days since our assault on the Sharilja slaver base. According to schedule (read: Ash's orders), I was supposed to spend six hours in the medbay where Dr. Chakwas taught me the basics of using medigel and combat drugs. We made good progress – the good doc was a remarkeably good teacher and somehow able to hammer a lot of stuff in my mind in a very short amunt of time.

After three hours, I knew enough to keep wounded people alive; at least for long enough 'til they could be brought to the medbay and at least in a way so I wouldn't cause additional harm. Medigel is a great substance; it can heal almost everything, given enough time. No wonder it was one of the Alliance' most important trading goods.

Chakwas also taught me how to properly give myself adrenaline shots in the field. I carefully hid my smile from her when I weighed the syringe in my hand. _Assault Training confirmed_. I thought back to BioShock for a second, too, but that's another point entirely.

However, at half-time, our lesson was cut short – by an incoming patient, Navigator Pressley. I saluted briefly, thanked Chakwas and got the hell out; I had a feeling I knew what kind of sickness Pressley had and had no intention of getting it myself.

So, for the first time in the last weeks I was truly without orders or work to do. The relief only lasted a few seconds. I entered the elevator down to the cargo bay thinking about either talking to Tali or restoring my heavy metal collection, only to meet Miller who recognized me with a broad grin.

Long story short: I ended up in the crew's mess, sitting at a table with four other grunts, got taught Skyllian-V in like five minutes and had lost roughly hundred credits in five more. But over the course of two hours, I reduced my losses to fifty. It helped that Skyllian-V is basically the same thing as Street Poker.

"Sure you wanna see? It may surprise you." I said and carefully measured the amount of chips on the table. We were playing with real cards and chips; it was gentlemen's agreement that we would pay out each other at the end of the game. The chips in this pot were roughly sixhundred cred worth.

"Ya tried that before, ya know?" Miller grinned even broader. "It didn't work."

"Maybe you shouldn't underestimate him, Mils" said Katsavidis, having looked into my cards but managing to keep a straight face. I smiled in his direction and nodded.

It was a pleasant surprise that the grunts seemed to accept me, too; I assumed that with my background and being the newbie and everything... well, whatever I feared, it wasn't the case.

I guess, it's that simple: I am human, I wear Alliance colors, I shoot bad guys, I'm no arrogant a-hole. I'm one of their own – a powerful feeling you can only understand if you've ever been part of it.

Still, I tried to keep a certain distance between me and my fellow enlisted guys. Afer all, I know that the _NORMANDY_ is going to be wreck before the year even ends... but it wasn't easy. At all. Not for the first time I condemned my knowledge.

Miller was about to answer when someone else spoke up from behind me.

"Ah, should've known I would find you here."

The fimiliar voice made me turn around and everyone else snap to attention.

"Sir!"

"At ease, everyone; I'm off-duty."

With a sigh, Kaidan stood next to and looked down to me, with the same look he usually reserved for Joker.

Only then did I notice that I hadn't greeted him and still the cards in my hand. My brain shorted and made me say the first thing that came to mind.

"Don't gimme that look."

Kaidan merely snorted with a grin.

"I knew Miller would find a way to get you here."

"Sir, it's just a friendly game." said Corporal spoke up, his voice betraying respect and... nervousness.

"Of course it is, Corporal." Kaidan's grin stayed the same. "Of course it is."

I gave him a curious glance, but the Lieutenant shook his head ever so slightly. _I tell you later._

_Okay, Boss._

"Something important, Sir?"

"Indeed, Private."_ Is that your way of mocking me, Kaidan?_ "The Commander sent me to find you. You weren't with the doc, like Williams told her."

I had a response on my tongue. Something about me being lucky to actually have three hours of downtime and not having Ash breathing down my neck. Then I realized that I probably shouldn't drop such a comment in front of the grunts. If I wanted to continue breathing, that is.

"Dr. Chakwas had some emergency she had to attend to. What's up, Sir?"

Kaidan opened his mouth, but Shepard's voice from the intercom interrupted him.

"_This is Commander Shepard speaking. All members of my squad, please report to the comm-center immediately."_

Four weeks aboard the _NORMANDY_, and it still filled me with pride, knowing that Shepard also called for me when she called for her squad.

Kaidan looked to the ceiling with furrowed brows, then at me. "Already? There must be something really important going on."

"We've finally found that Asari scientist?" I stretched my arms in the air, but purposefully kept m cards away from Miller. My shoulders crack slightly in protest from sitting for hours without moving.

"Probably. Let's not make Shepard wait. C'mon, Raven. Everyone else, carry on."

"Saved by the Commander, Raven", said Miller, his grin broad and challenging.

I sighed and stood up. "Danners, could I ask you to keep an eye on my chips?", I addressed the blonde woman. "I always seem to get an important call whenever I'm winning." She nodded in response, flashing me a smile.

"Wait, what?" Miller frowned. He was basically the only one who didn't knew what was going on.

I finally revealed my own cards.

Straight Flush.

"See ya later, guys."

I managed to keep a straight face and purposefully didn't look at Kaidan's. When the lift door's closed however, I saw him in the eyes and found him grinning. That caused me to chuckle, and soon after we're laughing out loud.

Miller's flabbergasted face was a sight to behold.

* * *

"There you are." Shepard said when the comm-center lock closed behind the two of us. "We were only waiting for you."

Both Kaidan and I stepped into the middle of our little circuit of seats, saluted the Commander and sat down. I bowed forward, put my elbows on my knees, folded my hands and supported my head on it. This is my usual posture for being attentive. My eyes briefly focused on Shepard... I had never seen her so tense before. A telling sign.

I let my eyes dart around the room. Everyone else was already present and looked just as curious and worried as I felt. Except for, of course, Wrex – but even he looked more interested than usual. I exchanged a few smiles and nods as a greeting.

It didn't freak me out anymore – a month is a long time to get used to things. Even to being in a videogame universe. Then again, it was really difficult to grasp that four and half a freakin' week had already passed since the day I woke up on the Presidium.

And 'til now, we've done nearly nothing. Yeah, we did accomplish a couple of side missions, but so far, not a single damned main mission. On the other hand, it was hardly fair to compare the game to real life. To see what those weeks made of us, I only have to take a look around, at how the squad interacts with each other.

It's difficult to pinpoint it. But if someone woulds ask me about what had changed the most, I'd say: The attitude. When even Wrex somewhat politely asks me questions about my opinion on ammo mods (with him being a fighter with at least seven hundred years of experience), then you know that Shepard's magic is really working. Not that it actually mattered what I said – but Wrex pretended to listen, so I kept talking. I felt honored anyway. Wrex is noone to do small-talk.

With some longing, I thought about who was missing in this picture. While the four others around me (plus Liara) are 'nice' people... Mass Effect doesn't feel complete without the colorful bunch of heroes from part two.

Shepards words snapped me out of my thoughts.

"We've got her."

Every noise in the room died down.

"Admiral Hackett contacted me ten minutes ago. Intel says, the finally got a hold of Liara T'Soni."

The Commander was well aware that everyone was hanging on her every word.

She activated her omni-tool, typed something, then a holographic picture appeared in the middle of the room.

A rusty-red planet, with a trace of silver where I suspected clouds.

"Therum is one of the mineral-richest planets the Alliance has under it's control." Shepard said in her Commander-voice. "The heavy metals we're getting from there are fueling most of humanity's shipyards. Simply put: Without Therum, the Eighth Fleet wouldn't exist."

She zoomed in to a close-up picture of the surface. I recognized the picture you get when selecting Therum in Mass Effect 1.

"Nowadays, it's volcanic planet. But it must have been more hospitable a few ten thousand year ago." She briefly paused to look at each of us. "At least it's filled with Prothean ruins."

I thought it a good idead to groan. "We've got an Asari scientist, we know that she's interested in Protheans, and Intel needs _four weeks!_ to find out that she's on our most important planet around here?"

"Intelligence is gambling, Raven." Ashley grinned. "One can tell you're new."

"No matter the species... " added Garrus. The irony in his voice was palpable.

"Attention, please." Serious voice, but the short twitch of Shep's lips didn't fit.

"Yes, Liara T'Soni is on Therum. We do even have an exact location – a mining facility, owned by Heavy Metals ExoMining of China. Big player in the Alliance. But in accordance with Council laws, they allowed a corps of scientists to study the Prothean ruins they found."

"Have we been able to contact Dr. T'Soni?" Kaidan asked.

Shepard shook her head. "No. Long-range communications from and to Therum are jammed."

Silence.

"The last thing we heard was that the scientist camp was under attack, but the 303rd and 305th Frontier Units were able to hold them off for the time being. Geth... and krogan."

Wrex was unfazed by the eyes moving to his direction. "Hmph. What these idiots are doing, is not my business."

"Aaalright."

The death glance of death is pretty effective in shutting me up. Especially if you're a krogan battlemaster.

"Anyway," Shepard continue as if nothing happened, "the marines were able to defend the facility so far, but before they went black, they also reported that T'Soni wasn't with them. The last report they received suggested that she went to a smaller outpost, a few clicks away. And this is where we'll start searching."

She shut off her tool and pressed her hands in her hips. Just by standing there, she commanded respect and radiated a feeling of… strength.

"We're twelve hours from Therum. Everyone, get some shut-eye. I await you here in ten hours for mission briefing. Dismissed."

With that we rose, nodded to the Commander and left the room.

Wrex and I were the last ones.

"Looks like it's on, now, huh?" I said quietly.

"Pah." he rumbled, staring at me with those red eyes. "They've got no chance against us."

"You bet, big one." I answered, flashing him a grin.

We exchanged a nod and then moved into opposite directions. Wrex grabbed something to eat.

I headed straight to the cargo bay, thinking about my rifle.. and then about what would await us there.

_Hold on, Liara. We're coming._

* * *

_**A/N:** I hope everyone here had a nice Christmas! Yeah, it did took a whole month, but the chapter has a reasonable length and everything._

_For those wondering: I intentionally decided against using "Lift" from Mass Effect 1 and going straight to the Mass Effect 2 and 3 abilities. I'm mostly okay with using thermal clips and basically changing the whole galaxy's arsenal in merely two years. But it does not make any sense to change the biotics, really._

_Yeah, and I've got nothing else to say. Except that I wish everyone a happy new year 2016! And that I hope you'll drop me a christmas present in form of a fav, follow and/or review :) If you don't like parts of this chapter, that's fine - just drop me a PM or something o I can think about changing it._

_See ya next year!_

_P.S.: Last edit 27.12.2015 - accidently uploaded an outdated version, fixed that_


	11. SevenOne - Therum: Find Liara T'soni

_**"Go to Heaven for the climate, to Hell for the company."** \- Mark Twain_

* * *

**Chapter 7.1 - Therum: Find Liara T'Soni - Part 1**

The lock to Engineering closed behind her and she allowed herself a smile.

Tali'Zorah nar Rayya always had that effect on her. And on a lot of other people as well - even though she would probably never notice that. Like Engineer Adams, whom she had wrapped around her little finger within one hour of her working with him. If she had just a little bit of ruthlessness in her, Tali would have probably tried to use that to get her hands on some classified data... but so far, nothing.

She reminded Shepard a lot of herself, back in the days when she was still a naive recruit. In a sense, both women were not that different... spending their childhood aboard ships, not caring much about the bigger world outside the hulls that were their homes... until later, when both, driven by a desire to make their parents proud, made their first steps into the big universe.

The only difference: Ten years of military experience that had erased any naivity from her, Shepards, mind. But, despite everything that happened to her, Shepard was still able to see the beauty the universe held. Just like Tali did, in her own way.

The red-haired woman shook her head, the smile still in place. Maybe that was the reason why Shepard often felt like Tali's big sister.

Just as she was about to make her way towards her bunk, she heard noises from the general direction of the ship's resident Mako. The Commander furrowed her brows. It was 0445, ship's time. Everyone, except for the night shift, was supposed to be asleep. Given Therum's volcanic climate and the reported, large geth presence in the area, the upcoming mission would certainly stretch Shepard's squad to their limits.

_That's music, isn't it?_

Yes, it was, she noticed as she stepped closer. And a very popular song as well, although by the sounds of it a cover-version. Jane never was that much into music – it was a welcome 'white noise' when she did some of the more boring work that being an Alliance Commander brought with her. Like filing reports, for example. But even she recognized Heavy Metal when she heard it.

_It doesn't matter if you're wrong, or if you're right_

_It makes no difference if you're black or if you're white_

_All men are equal 'til the victory is won_

_No colour or religion Ever Stopped The Bullet From A Gun!_

She stopped and folded her arms in front of her. _Interesting._ On the other hand, it kind of fit that Raven was a fan of aggressive music.

It had to be him. No-one else aboard would be crazy enough to spend his resting shift laying under a tank and listening to adrenaline-rush type of music.

That, and his boots were sticking out, wiggling to the beat.

_Out! In the fields_

_The Fighting has begun!_

_Out! On the streets_

_They're falling One by One_

_Out! From the skies_

_A thousand more will die each day_

_Death is just a Heartbeat away_

She watched him, unsure if she should interrupt him. What was he doing there anyway? Vakarian had already reported the Mako ready for deployment…

_And this is not the first time he's acting strange._

Jane Shepard considered herself pretty decent in reading people. She wasn't by any means a shrink; but a bit of psychology, both alien and human, was part of every Alliance' Special Operations Academy class. It was the reason why she knew that she could trust Garrus Vakarian; as well as getting Wrex to trust her enough to follow her orders.

But for all intents and purposes, Raven was... a mystery.

Just when Shepard was about to make progress in finding evidence against Saren, he appeared out of nowhere helping her in securing the evidence she needed. And while that was also the case with the other three newcomers, they all had a background that could be checked; had done things before that made it possible to explain their actions.

Not him.

Raven's story made sense; in itself, at least, but the actions that followed out of it didn't, not completely. A daring and illegal trip to the Citadel with only 21, counting his small experience on the live outside the Isolationists? Possible. Being 'just in the right place at the right time'? Happens!

But the entire picture, all things considered? Unlikely. It didn't quite fit to the way he behaved. He was too... hesitant? Level-headed? Knowledgeable?

On the other hand, maybe this hunt for Saren was the 'big adventure' he hoped for? That would fit be at least somewhat fitting. And yet...

Shepard shook her head. She had thought it over, multiple times. Raven was a 'wildcard', as Anderson had put it.

Her mentor had discussed this matter, just before the _NORMANDY_ had departed from the Citadel. Both N7 had watched the young man go with Alenko, and both agreed that there was something _odd_ about him. Anderson was sure that Raven had lied, at least in regard to his background.

"It is possible, that there is a Isolationist cell somewhere in Germany they haven't found yet.", Anderson had said, his gaze lingering on the airlock for seconds after it closed "It is also possible, that this cell has children that haven't yet been found. But his psych-profile doesn't fit."

She had relinquished to read the full report about the possible psych-profiles of children grown up in Isolationist cells some professors in Earth's universities had cooked up. Shepard had enough ways to ruin her day already. But what she did get was that the chance of Raven being an Isolationist's child were very slim. So, there could be only one logical conclusion. But, if he truly had lied, what would be his reasoning? Was he a possible double-agent Saren tried to put into her ranks?

"Keep an eye on him, Commander." her Captain had warned her. "Remember: 'Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.'"

She heard her mentor's advice, and she acted on it; but for herself, Shepard didn't quite believe that Raven was a possible traitor. It was a gut feeling, and the Commander knew that most of the times, it was dangerous to act on such feelings. Especially when it came to something as uncertain as a person's loyalty. But she couldn't and didn't want to refuse anyone who was willing to help. He would get a chance, just like the rest of her wayward bunch of squadmates.

And so far, Jess Raven had kept what he promised. While not that skilled, he managed to get the job done…

That was another thing. His inexperience.

She had kept a close eye on his performance, both in training and in live action. He tried. But she had seen enough action to sense that Raven was really a newbie when it came to firefights.

You can't fake inexperience. If you're a skilled operative, you have the reflexes ingrained into your very being. Shepard, possibly the Alliance' best N7 (even though she despised being called like that almost as much as she hated her 'Lioness of Elysium' title), knew it better than any other human.

And then, she saw him getting brought to the medbay by Lieutenant Alenko. She saw into his eyes.

His shell-shock wasn't faked in any kind or way.

That tipped the scales in Raven' favour, although he would probably never know it.

_Doesn't matter if you're left, or to the right_

_Don't try to hide behind the cause, they want to fight_

_There'll be no prisoners taken when the day is done_

_No flag no uniform Ever Stopped The Bullet From A Gun!_

_Out! In the fields_

_The Fighting has begun -_

"Good morning, Raven."

The young man jumped. An audible 'bump' was the result, followed by a muffled curse. The Commander bit her lip in an attempt to keep herself from giggling. The music stopped.

"Raven, reporting in." A groan. "Do you need me, Commander?"

"Just wanted to talk to you." she said, unable to hold the mirth out of her voice. ''But we can do this later, if you're... occupied."

"Nay, it's okay. Just fumblin" around anyway... come on, _du Scheißding, lass mich raus hier!*_"

"Everything fine?"

"Yeah. Sure. Never felt better."

Another groan, then the music started again, although more quiet. Raven crawled out from under the tank, his gloves and part of his face covered in oil and grease.

"If I may ask, why aren't you in your bunk? And, what were you doin' there?" Shepard asked, watching him as he tried to get his hair, grown over the past few weeks, out of his face – thus spreading the grime even further. "Garrus told me the Mako was good to go."

"To the first: Couldn't sleep. Too much going on in my brain, and I thought good music and something to work on would help." He smiled, although Shepard had a feeling that it was a rather sad one.

"To the second: Aye, but he forgot to grease the gear boxes" he answered, a bit distorted from trying to minimize the damage to his hairdo. "No offense, Commander, but considering the way you're driving I thought it would be better to double-check everything even remotely related to the tires."

"Whaaat?" She put on a playful pout. "My driving is excellent."

"Yeah, sure." He gave up trying to un-mess his hair and gave her 'the look', as she came to call it. Amused and tired, an ironic smile on his lips. "I mean, we only had to replace _two_ wheels instead of all _six_ as... people expected. I would call that good in my books as well."

"Those were the snipers" she defended herself. "They were aiming for the wheels to get us to a stand."

"Aha. Well, I'd like to point out that usually, people try to _avoid_ mountains when driving to a pick-up zone... but that would be disrespectful towards my commanding officer, now wouldn't it?"

"Yes, _very _disrespectful." Shepard gave him a glare, but unfortunately, her small grin gave her away. She liked those talks – Raven showed her respect, but wasn't afraid or awed of her, unlike most of the people aboard, save for Wrex of course.

"Also, who are the 'people' that expected it?"

"Ehm..."

"No, let me guess. Corporal Miller heard stories and made it a bet, right?"

His lips twitched revealingly. "I thought Kaid- Lieutenant Alenko was exaggerating when he called Miller the 'most infamous gambler in the whole Marine Corps'."

"So it was him."

"I promised him not to tell you. But lying to you doesn't sound like a good alternative either."

_Then start acting on it_, she thought, and her smile became a bit strained. _But you probably have good reasons to keep your past a secret. _"No, most likely not. And, technically you didn't tell me, I figured it out."

"Whatever works for you, Commander." He grinned and tried to wipe his hands at his uniform – with limited success. "Anything else, Ma'am?"

_Ah, why not._ "Since you're here, I'd like to hear your opinion on the upcoming mission."

She carefully waited for his reaction. He was surprised. Something flashed through his eyes and was gone, in barely a split second..

"I'm sorry, Ma'am, but I don't see how I can be of help there. I've never been to Therum; I've no idea what is going to expect us."

"Well, you had pretty good ideas back on Sharilja" _\- ideas you had no rights to have -_ "and I'd like to hear any suggestions my squad makes, you know that."

Raven nodded. "Aye, and I appreciate it, Commander. But as I said..."

"If you've got anything, don't hesitate to say it."

He sighed and started to pace a bit. She watched. He kept his eyes on the ground, expression unreadable.

"... okay.", he finally said after a minute or two. "I've looked into the Codex earlier; it said that Therum is a planet with a breathable atmosphere, but with high temperatures and high volcanic activity."

He looked at her; she nodded in response.

"I think both may be a problem. We have a lone person that is being hunted by an unknown amount of geth; and we don't know how many supplies T'Soni has with her. I'm thinking of starvation and dehydration, so it may be possible that our VIP is wounded or ill. Also, the volcanic activity worries me a bit. If that asari managed to reach a shelter, safehouse or whatever, it is possible that it collapsed and we need to get her out of rubble. We should be prepared to manoeuvre in dangerous terrain... I don't know, ropes, ladders, whatever we have. "

Raven paused, seeking the Commander's eyes. Shepard nodded again, silently signalling him to continue.

"Also, we probably should keep the _NORMANDY_ out of the heat, she may be our only ticket out. But maybe Joker can help us with airstrikes or something? I expect heavy resistance; if Saren is really allied with Matriarch Beneziah, he'll do everything to keep her sweet, so killing her daughter is no option – and generally, you need more forces to capture an enemy alive than to kill him. I don't think Saren would hesitate to bomb Liara from orbit in that case."

He stopped dead in his tracks, as if he had noticed something. "... That would be all, I think.", Raven finished, a bit hesitance obvious in his voice.

Shepard smiled at him, carefully masking her thoughts. _And again. _"Thanks, Raven. You thought about that quite a bit."

He shrugged, a bit sheepish. "Well, I'll admit, it was what kept me from sleeping 'till wake-up. But, ehm, this was just me thinking out loud. I think you can safely ignore most of what I said."

_Don't think so_. "Well, we'll see. There were quite some interesting things in it... Again, I appreciate that you're thinking about our tasks as well. However..." - and at that, she grinned, eying his grease-stained uniform, "I'd say you should stop whatever you're doing and rest. And shower. Whatever does expect us down there, you do want to be ready for it."

He nodded and saluted. "Understood, Commander. I'll wrap this up ASAP and will be in the officer's mess until briefing."

"Okay, I'll see you later." Shepard turned to leave, but stopped a few steps later and mockingly glared at Raven. "Also, would you please stop saluting me? That's the third time I'm asking you, you know. For someone who claims to not respect the chain of command, you adhere to _that_ rule quite a lot."

Raven smiled, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "I don't necessarily respect someone because of a title, but it's quite difficult to be aboard this ship and not respect _you_, Commander."

He paused briefly; Shepard was unsure what she should think.

"But yeah." he added, and this time his smile was genuine, "I'll try to reduce that. See ya later, Shepard."

"See ya."

Shepard watched Raven as he crawled under the tank once again, until the elevator closed.

_Please, don't be a traitor. I'd really hate having to kill you_.

* * *

Four hours after this encounter, I took the elevator down to the cargo bay once again.

Only this time around, I had Ash, Kaidan and Garrus with me - and was showered and briefed for the mission, aka: Didn't look like the last dosser on Earth anymore.

There wasn't much talking going on. There wasn't much to say anyway. Shepard was thorough with her briefings; Everyone knew exactly where his place was and what was expected from him. While the missions before weren't something to toy around with anyway, this time we simply had no room for errors.

"Okay, let's get this going."

I looked over to Kaidan, while the lock opened to reveal the cargo bay. "Sounds like you really wanna get it over with."

He shrugged. "Cabin fever."

"Hm." _Kaidan never struck me as the type who would have problems with not having action for some time._ _He's too calm for that. Or maybe just too professional to show it._

Wrex greeted us with a field-stripped shotgun in his grip. "Ready to bust some lamp heads?"

I walked to my drawer and grabbed weaponry and armor from it. "Aye." I turned my gaze to him and gave him a toothy grin. "They're already scrap. They just don't know it – yet."

What was most likely the dumbest line I said during my whole stay (and I'm very sure that Ashley suppressed a sigh) made Wrex flash me a toothy grin in response. Only that his teeth were far more impressive. "Hah! That's the spirit, whelp!"

Ash, myself and Kaidan stripped out of our uniform as usually. We replaced them with single-piece bodysuits, the first layer of our armor. They did look like rompers, but the military-grade suits the Alliance had in use cost around a thousand credits each. They were specifically designed to minimize the damage caused by a bullet that managed to punch through all layers of armor. But at the same time, they didn't 'rip apart' when damaged, so it was quite unlikely that they could get into any wounds and cause infections or something. Also, they were comfortable to wear and soaked up the sweat.

There were probably a billion other reasons why this piece of clothing was awesome, but to be honest, I wasn't really paying attention when Ash explained it to me in all details. My memory does have it's limits.

"Anyone any tips on how to put down a geth for good?" I asked when I put on the boots and connected some cables to the suit. The armored boots had sensors for a lot of things, for example the surface temperature. I didn't quite get it - I mean, I _do_ realize when my feet get cold - but whatever.

On the other hand, the boots could also be set to either be magnetic or not, for situations in ships where the grav-generator wasn't working, or space stations.

"Uhm, hit the flashlight?" Ash offered, already attaching the arm segments to the body part.

I rolled my eyes and fastened the body harnish, slapping twice on my chest plate just to be safe. "Does that really work? I'd think machines would be smarter than making their heads their weakest parts."

Tali, who just left engineering with an activated omni-tool heard the last two sentences and jumped on it. "Geth are an exception. When my people created them, they wanted them to be as..." My translator stumbled a bit here, finally saying: "...'humanoid' as possible."

Tali most likely came to see us off. The Mako only had the place for ten people at most, and considering that Wrex almost counts as two people and Shepard had no idea if T'Soni was in good enough shape not to be transported on a stretcher, we had to leave someone behind. And Tali's equipment wasn't up from scratch.

Hm. Why Shepard didn't leave me behind instead, beat me. After all, Tali is a hell of an engineer – while my only profession aside from 'newbie gunman' was 'living decoy'.

_Maybe this is some kind of test. Watch your step._

I nodded in her direction. "I read that 'Geth' literally means 'servant', is that right?" I asked while putting on the balaclava.

She faced me again, and not for the first time I mentally cursed the mask she was forced to wear. "Yes. The Geth were meant to mark a new era for my people, an era of prosperity..."

Ash snorted, attaching her helmet to her armor. "They did mark a new era, alright." Then she looked up and met my eyes.

I didn't say anything. But I wouldn't have wanted to look in the mirror that moment. A second or so we stared in each other's eyes - then we averted our gazes at the same time.

"Well, in the first time, it did work out for your people, didn't it?" I continued as calm as possible, while mentally berating myself. _Stay calm, man. You knew Ash would act like that sooner or later. She will learn_.

The brief conflict between me and Ash went almost unnoticed; only Tali, who was wringing her hands again, had seen it.

"Yes. But then the Geth became smarter than we could ever have foreseen... and the Morning War broke out." she finished, voice trailing off in sadness.

I didn't know what to say. Lucky for me, Kaiden picked up and started asking about the daily life on the Migrant Fleet, questions the young quarian seemed happy to answer. Since it was mostly stuff she does explain to Shepard in-game, I took the opportunity to withdraw myself from the talk and finished dressing up. Then I inspected my weaponry. Pistol, newly upgraded with mods for precision and stopping power. Assault rifle, cleaned and loaded with a fresh ammo block. Sniper rifle with a customized sight for distances above 100m. And last, and very least, the shotgun – because my rack still had the place for one.

I took a look on Kaidan's back and his weapons. He had explained to me why he always goes in the field with a full loadout, even though he only uses a pistol – simply put, he was the team's 'weapons carrier' in case something had to be replaced in the field.

On this mission, I had a similar job. I strapped on the chest carrier and filled it with spare ammo and medigel.

"Hey Raven." I turned and saw Ash walking to me, her expression controlled and a bag and a rope in her hands. "Here, take these."

The bag contained six molotov grenades, the newest innovation in the area of explosives and burnings. Not really. But it sounds better than 'makeshift mix of grenade and molotov, in the hope that it actually causes some damage'.

Basically, Ash and myself had slapped a few of Shepard's spare grenades on my fuel-filled bottles and glued them together with omnigel. We both agreed that the cocktails wouldn't be that effective against machines – they don't even flinch when they're on fire, so both direct damage and area denial would't work as well as against organic targets – if at all.

By adding a grenade to the mix, we hoped to at least increase the direct damage against a target. First because the grenade's damage could tear an enemy's armor apart, basically clearing the way for the fuel to fry a geth's electronics – the cables you can see inside Legion, which aren't resistant to fire in any kind or way.

And, second, because of the _Kaboom!_ You don't argue with _Kaboom!_.

It was also quite useful, that I didn't have to manually light a rug anymore. That being said, I took a single 'normal' cocktail with me and my lighter. Just in case.

What irritated me a bit more was the rope. It looks like Shepard takes my words quite serious, I mused to myself. Unsettling. Decidedly unsettling.

"Thanks, Sarge." I took both items from her hands and flashed her a smile. "And, sorry for before. Didn't mean offense."

She smiled back, a bit tight-lipped though. "None taken."

Not feeling like pressing my luck, I settled for stowing the incendiaries in the carrier's pouches. Just as I attached the rope to my belt, I heard someone leaving the elevator. Our commander, in full gear and her omnitool activated.

"Okay, everyone, listen up!" We assembled in a half circle around her; I spent the time checking if my omni-blade worked. It did.

"Sensors show we got AA-teams close to our target position, and Geth forces have locked down the area." I looked up just in time to see the grim look on her face. "Whatever we're looking for must be in there, most likely in the center."

With that, she opened up and projected a map in front of, it was the mission map from the game. Geth signatures blinked red, forming a circle around the dig site we had to enter. "We drop in here," the LZ blinked once, "and have to break through the siege to this dig site. It is very likely that T'Soni has holed up in there; but she can't hold that position forever. Time is of the essence."

With that, another couple of markers blinked on the left side of the circle, this time in blue. "Our ground forces will assist in drawing their attention. Their goal is to disable the anti-air guns, but it's up to us to actually make the push. In one sentence: Get in, break through, get the VIP, exfiltration via Mako or _NORMANDY_. Questions?"

"What about 303 and 305?" Ash asked, lips pressed tight.

"Reinforcements will arrive in less than twelve hours." Shepard answered, giving Ash an poignant look. "Once they've completed their objective, they will fall back and retreat. But we can't wait, Ash. In twelve hours, the Geth may have found what Saren's looking for. We need to prevent that from happening – no matter the cost. Okay?"

"Yes, Ma'am." Ash closed her eyes once and let out a breath. _This time, we're prepared, Ash,_ I thought.

No-one else had questions and we were five minutes from the drop zone; so we quickly wrapped it up and climbed in our tank. I watched as the omni-blade's silicon-carbide blade dissipated in thin air and got absorbed by the tool. Then I attached my knife to its holster.

Then I picked up my helmet and, absently, trailed my thumb over the scar the turian sniper had caused. I felt nothing. A strange feeling of calm and nothingness, considering where we would be going.

Then I did feel something – a talon on my right shoulder. I turned and saw Garrus. For a second, we just looked at each other. Then I nodded in silent understanding, put the helmet on and fastened it.

"Alright. Let's get going."

I turned around and smiled at Tali, wo was still around – and visibly nervous.

"Please, do wait with the dinner. We'll be back in no time."

I waved at her as the Mako's lock closed, but couldn't see her response.

* * *

This planetfall was just as bad as the one before. Even worse, actually – the Geth tried to take potshots at us.

My heart clenched whenever I heard the sound of bullets ricocheting at our shield and our hull. Luckily, it happened only twice.

Then the landing.

I groaned as I picked myself from the floor. At least, the seat belts did what they were made for.

And, also I didn't have to watch the sensors – Ash would do the first tour, I was scheduled for the way back.

Yeah. I may or may not have been cheating.

I couldn't even finish my thoughts before I had our commander's voice in my ears.

"_Everyone okay?"_

"Clear!"

"_Alright, let's move!"_

Shepard let the engine rev, and we were on our way.

"_Joker here."_ Our pilot reported in. _"Commander, I'm picking up some strange readings. Really strange. Like, off the damned charts. It seems to come from the underground complex where T'Soni is supposed to be. _"

"_Copy that, Joker."_

Not even twenty seconds later we had our first hostile contact.

"_Geth Infantry, they've been waiting for us!"_

"_Fire at will!"_

As I heard our guns blazing and impacts drumming in our shields, I condemned that I was forced into inactivity.

I kept shifting around on my seat.. Wrex, who was sitting in front of me, noticed my uneasiness.

"Calm down, whelp." he growled lowly, but kind of encouraging. I looked up, surprised. "Trust your teammates to bring you where you're needed. And trust me," he grinned a dangerous krogan grin "There will be enough things you can kill later. I feel it in my quads."

I couldn't help but grin at that remark. And seeing how relaxed Wrex sat on his bench helped me as well.

That was before we actually broke through the damned the siege.

* * *

Orders and infos are getting shouted, incoming fire is dodged and returned – I can't count anymore. The breath is caught in my lungs, I keep my gaze on my watch.

It's just like five minutes or so we're here, but every goddamned second feels like an hour when you're under fire.

"_Dropship ahead!"_

_Dammit!_

My HUD shows new red dots – some small ones. And two big ones.

"_Geth Armatures incoming! Priority target!"_

A few horrible seconds later, Garrus gives a triumphant shout._ "One down!"_

Then our engines roar in protest, nearly giving me a heart attack.

"_Shields are out! We need to-"_

_Bang!_

A hard impact lifts me off my bench – without the belt, I would've flown straight into the wall. As I picked myself up, I notice something-

The tank stopped!

"_Gearbox is hit, we're immobilized!"_

I feel my blood pressure rising. _Fuck! Fuck!_

Shepard reacts fast. _"Raven, Wrex, get out and watch our flank! Alenko, repair protocol!"_

The belts that kept Wrex and me in place come loose. I feel paralyzed, but stand up as quickly as possible; Wrex is already out the lock.

"Come on, whelp! Let's bust us some heads!"

I can only nod. My voice is dead.

I take the emergency exit – and am deafened by gunfire.

I take the Mako as cover and look around the corner.

Six or seven Geth infantry, the scrap of another Geth trooper, Wrex all over him.

The destroyed Geth Armature. And another Armature, taking fire from our 155mm gun.

That is, until it unleashes a salvo of rockets. I know what's about to come and throw myself on the ground.

I don't get disappointed. The explosion rocks me even in cover.

A quick glance to our tank, and a sigh. The shields were back in time to negate the worst of the blow.

Then I notice a couple of Geth opening fire at me, missing my head barely by an inch.

This very moment, I lose all conscious thought.

Adrenaline floods me, triggering something as ancient as humanity itself...

The _Fight-Or-Flight instinct._

And I choose to _fight._

I drag my rifle to me, take aim and, with clenched teeth, pull the trigger and keep it pulled.

Five seconds later, the Avenger beeps in the red area – and there are two more non-functional Geth on the ground.

I shakily stand up and, breathing hard, press myself against the Mako's hull.. Now noticing the steam my rifle emits, I stow it on my back and draw the pistol.

Just as Wrex and mine combined effort wrecks another Geth trooper, I hear an explosion from my right side – the Armature finally got enough and crumbles, not before sending out one last rocket that hits the Mako's left side.

"_Raven, Wrex, do you copy?"_

"_Wrex here, what's up, Shepard?"_ he asks, effortlessly _Lift_-ing a Rocket Trooper - to crash him a second later.

"_We got enemy reinforcements incoming! You guys need to repair the hydraulic pipe to wheels three and five, otherwise I can't release the brake-"_

I turn around and run to the other side of the Mako; activating my omnitool with shivering hands.. The repair itself isn't that difficult; just slap some omnigel onto the lecks and make sure it holds together. Thankfully. I am in no shape for complicated procedures.

Just as I kneel, my shields flicker, a brief look over my shoulder – more Geth, guns blazing. Wrex charges in their way, roaring loudly.

"Raven here! Repairing under fire!" I shout – it sounds more like a cry.

"I got your back, whelp!" Wrex shouts, then I the only things I hear from him are shotgun blasts and a roar unlike any I've heard from him before. That, and my unharmed shields are all I need to finish repairing – its not nice, but it will hold. Until we're at the dig site, hopefully.

I turn around and see Wrex looking in my direction. My HUD is clear – no more red dots. And a lot more piles of scrap than before.

"Alright, we're good to go!" I nod to Wrex, and together we enter the Mako. Shepard doesn't even wait for the lock to fully seal – if our wheels had any less grip, she surely would've made that a burnout.

I shake my head. Only now I register what happened in the last few minutes. I had kept the hysteria back until now...

"_Good job there, Raven._" Ash glances to me for a second, giving me a thumbs up.

… but now I laugh. "Good? That was fucking close! _Goddammit_." I take the glasses from my eyes and inhale deeply. Once, twice, three times. Inhale, exhale.

Then I'm back.

"_You two got it done, Wrex, Raven._" Shepard says over comms. _"That's all that matters."_

I chuckle darkly. "Ash? Next time_ I_ take the fucking first tour."

I've never addressed her that informally before, and right now, I don't really care – so I'm a bit surprised that her answer is a laugh. "Deal."

Her laughter is a pleasant thing to hear. But before I can marvel at it even more, Shepard pulls us back into reality.

"_Battle-comms, everyone, this is far from over!_"

_Fuck that_.

I lean back and sigh. "Wrex? You're a bloody killin' machine. Good you're on our side." I close my eyes. Not even the refreshed sound of gunfire and commands can stop me from relaxing now – as far as that is possible in a free fire zone. "Thanks, man."

I hear him chuckling. Maybe, this is response enough.

* * *

Thinking back, I don't remember the rest of the tour in all details anymore. You can literally summarize it under: 'Being trapped in a tin can of a tank and subject to enemy fire and Shepard's driving skills'.

I have to say, however, that the rumors of Shepard being a bad driver ain't true, at all. Yes, a few of the stunts she pulled could be considered _suicidal_. But we _didn't_ all die a horrible death in lava. Only the occasional Geth did.

I'd even say our Commander is a rather good driver. Only someone who knows what he's doing would be able to constantly keep the vehicle at its very limits – without causing any damage. But, well... her style of driving kept _us_ at our limits as well. For example, dodging bloody bullets by using the 'jump'' capabilities. At least we had decent dampeners so that we didn't get sick.

The only other thing worth mentioning – aside from enemy fire – was one real obstacle, the outpost the Geth had occupied. And even that could be sorted under 'enemy fire'. With an extra way to drive, that is.

Inside the outpost, Shepard took the lead and took myself and Wrex with her. Thinking about it, it was really the first time during my whole stay where I felt like I was more or less in the game, rather than the universe. Just the Commander and two Squadmates, and she did most of the work. That does sound familiar, alright. I only fired my rifle twice – without being either in much danger or taking anything out. So, yeah. Let's skip that.

After we had taken the outpost and cleared the way, for the rest of our time in the Mako, the enemy resistance was noticeably weaker than at the beginning. As Shepard had planned, the 303rd and the 305th Frontier units did an excellent job in forcing the Geth to split up.

So, in short, the rest of our trip wasn't that big of a deal.

And then we were stopped again – by a rock formation.

* * *

"_Alright, we're not driving through here."_

"_Commander! Our signals are getting jammed!"_

"_Copy, Ash. Everyone, disembark! We finish this on foot."_

Once I exited the Mako, I, for the first time, could take a look at this bloody planet. Thinking about it, 'bloody' fit in more ways... The red rocks, the glowing lava, the strange lightning - everything felt like hell was only a few steps away. I thought about the prothean ruins, and if the Reapers had caused this planet to be de-stabilized in such a way.

I made a grab for my cigs, but again I grabbed in vain – I left them in my lockers. After a few weeks without, the next cig would probably knock me off my feet. Not the best thing to do during a mission.

_Still, a nice thought. _I sighed._ I will so enjoy shore leave._

In the meantime, everyone had assembled. I drew my rifle and went to Shepard's eight. Mine and Garrus' job was to deliver precise shots from the second row.

"Alright, everyone. The Geth are in front of, and behind us. Stay in formation, move fast, but stay covered. Keep you eyes peeled. Go!"

I looked back to the Mako and said my goodbye. _Thanks for getting us here. Enjoy the lava bath._

We moved up – like, fifty meters. Then a small group of Geth greeted us. With rockets. _How rude._

I hid behind the nearest rock, but the Geth weren't actively targeting me for a change – they seemed to focus on Shepard. Big mistake. This allowed Garrus and me to line up a few very nice shots.

I must admit, it was a _great_ feeling to deliver fatal blows to these geth-heretics.

We fought our way up the hill. It wasn't that difficult – enemy resistance seemed scattered. It looked like they were retreating...

I suddenly remembered what we were up against, and felt the blood getting drained from my face.

Then, a targeting laser pulled me back to reality. I slided behind the nearest cover.

"Sniper ahead, tower!"

Looking around the rock, I saw the Geth sniper scanning the area, trying to hit one of us out of cover.

I knew I couldn't get him with my assault rifle. So, I exchanged it for the sniper.

Once Garrus heard of this mine specific weakness, he pulled me aside one evening and showed me how to handle a long weapon. It was tedious work, it was frustrating as I kept outplaying myself, but Garrus was a good teacher. And I was willing to listen – who would refuse advice from Archangel?

Controlling my breath was surprisingly easy, Ash's marksman training was paying off. Not being under fire was a bonus. I remembered the Geth's position and brought the sight to my eyes. I steadied my aim – then I leaned out and took the shot, to retreat back behind cover a split-second later.

It took me four tries, but finally I hit the Geth in the chest. It fell from the watch tower, lights dimmed.

Only then I noticed that Garrus didn't fire at all, instead watching me and my target through his visor.

He nodded to me in respect. I felt pride rise in my chest.

Another rocket impacting close to me brought me back to reality, however.

We continued to break their resistance, meter by meter, Geth by Geth. After all we've been through so far, it was surprisingly easy – then again, in the game you're only with two instead of five squadmembers. On the other hand, their rate of fire proved awkward – if they had used the same weaponry as us, we would've been faster. _We need those bloody heatsinks,_ I thought and retreated to let my Avenger cool off.

Then we arrived at the facility – I looked up just in time to see the Geth hunter from the cutscene. I gulped, heart at a solid 120 per minute.

This area was one I was really afraid of.

"Contact." I reported, "Unknown Geth, on ten, high up!"

Before we could react, however, we heard the sound of a Geth dropship just ahead.

It dropped a whole squad of infantry – and an Armature.

We took cover and gave it everything we had.

I decided to test out my new toys. A molotov grenade flew and exploded on the Armature's head segment. For a few seconds, it was covered in fire.

No bloody effect. I cursed, and then ducked to avoid the retaliation.

Lucky for me, the Armature couldn't withstand our combined efforts for that long. It collapsed – and exploded.

I released a breath – and noticed movement from the corner of my eye. I reacted out reflex – three full bursts of my rifle hit a flanking Geth trooper before it could do more than just damaging my shields.

Silence, except from background lava and wind.

"Report!"

"All clear."

"All tangos down."

Not for the first time this day, I would have killed for a beer.

"Here's the entrance. Regroup here!"

I turned to follow my squad. A metallic clang! stopped me...

I looked down and saw that I had kicked something away. I stooped to pick it up. I stared at it, then the memory hit me like a brick.

It looks a bit different than the ones in the later games, but the general design can't be confused by someone who knows the series.

An idea struck me.

Quickly, I looked for the downed trooper. He still had his weapon in his steel grip; I carefully tried to release it from him, all the while nervously checking his eyes (spraying sparks every once in a while) to see if it could come back to life.

"_Raven, what are you doing?"_

I looked up and waved in Shepard's direction. "Commander, I think I found something!"

Finally, I was able to inspect the geth's rifle. It looked very similar to our weaponry... but with a few changes. I pulled a lever that wasn't part of the common Council weapons -

_Bingo._

Something got ejected from the rifle's heatsink mechanism; I picked it up. Yup. Looks just the same.

"This better be important – Raven, what've ya got?" Shepard had finished the brief walk, Ash and Garrus in tow.

"Here, take a look." I handed Shepard one of the two cylinders. "I may have found the reason for the Geth's high rate-of-fire."

Our boss looked at the object in her hands, then at me. She looked like she was torn between impatience and interest. "Shoot. And the brief version, please."

I told her. In short words, I outlined what I thought. Her eyes lit up. Shepard bit her lip.

"If that's true... Take that gun and these... heatsinks with you. Let Tali have a look. If she can confirm what you just said... Raven, you are aware that you may have just found something that could tip the scales, you're aware of that?"

"Yes, Ma'am." _I nodded. Some people will hate me now. Ah, well, heatsinks were a thing in ME2 and 3 without me. May as well claim some credits for discovering 'em._

"Good job. But now, let's get back to our task – T'Soni is in that site, I can feel it."

I had to bite back a comment if she had a sixth sense for damsels in distress.

Instead, I just nodded, avoiding Ash's and Garrus' inquisitive glances for now. From their point of view, I had just made a discovery that might be a major change to infantry warfare.

_Oh, you guys have no idea. _I grinned in secret. _Seeing the future is so awesome sometimes._

Thirty seconds later, we were lined up at the dig site's entry tunnel.

"Alright. T'Soni's in there. Our plan is simple: Get in, grab her, get out. Understood?"

Shepard waited for our 'okay', then she continued: "Considering the volcanic activity in this area, the area we're about to enter may be extremely unstable. Guys, I never was that serious: Watch where you step!"

_In-before mining laser._ I closed my eyes and mentally unleashed a Cain on my sixth sense – the sense for sarcasm.

"Let's get that asari", Shepard finished. "Load 'em, cock 'em, let's go!"

She slapped the door controls, and without another word, we started our push into the darkness below us.

* * *

_*translated: "you piece of crap, let me outta here!"_

_**A/N:** Welcome, dear readers, to the first chapter in 2016! Yeah, I again screwed up with not releasing a chapter in January – but instead, I will release the second half of this chapter before Easter. I think this is an agreeable deal. Also, I kind of have hopes that I will have more spare time this year to actually get some more writin done - however, I can't promise it, and, frankly, I will not force myself to keep any deadline at any cost. Rest assured, though, I'll end what I started._

_If you liked this story so far and haven't done so already, please consider following to see when the next update is release, fav'ing to tell me how awseome I am (not really) and, lastly, write me a review to tell me how it can be done better. Or really, just to give me feedback. Everyone loves feedback._

_Well, that's all for now - see ya around Easter, and take care!_

_PS: The song I'm listening to is Gary Moore's "Out in the Fields", cover version by Dark At Dawn. Feel free to check it out, it's awesome. /watch?v=U8jQqjua5AI  
_

_edit; 7.3.2016 - Corrected all mistakes that were pointed out to me and edited a few minor things._


	12. SevenTwo - Therum: Find Liara T'Soni

**Chapter 7.2 – Therum: Find Liara T'Soni – Part 2**

I hate tunnels.

I got reminded of that fact as soon as the Geth opened fire.

To our luck, it was only two of them and their sole weaponry were assault rifles. Considering that we basically were lined up behind each other – Wrex and Shepard taking the lead – and had literally not a single bit of cover in this blasted tube, a single sniper or an RPG would have been an extremely deadly threat.

"Out of here, move!"

We followed Shep's orders, entering the cave by jumping over the Geth's remnants and spread out as good as possible. Gunfire flashed from below us, impacting in our shields or ricocheting at the handrail.

We returned fire.

My shields were down to a meager 25% when the last Geth fell. I tried to wipe the sweat from my brows, but the glasses stopped my hand.

"No time to relax, let's get going! Wrex, take point, Red, Kaiden, watch our backs."

"Affirmative." I dunno where exactly I gained the 'Red' as an additional callsign. Probably during one of our trainings on battle communications. I know, however, where it came from – the red 'Designated Marksman' badge on my shoulder armor. _Red Raven. Some things are just meant to be..._

"Go!"

We made our way towards the first elevator, all the time securing in every direction. Time was of the essence; if the Geth had already breached into the dig site, Liara was in danger.

Frankly, all I wanted was to get out of the open. There should've been not be a single heretic left. Emphasis on 'should'.

Against my beliefs, we did reach the lift without any further incident, though. Shepard, Wrex and Garrus went first; the lift couldn't carry everyone at the same time. It slowly lowered and then lifted itself back up again; I continued to check our surroundings while Ash and Kaidan merely waited – though I didn't believe for a second that they didn't kept their eyes open as well, maybe even more than I did.

We then descended as well.

"I dare you to spit over this railing, Raven."

I turned and hoped that Ashley could see my smirk. "You first."

"Oh, no." She feigned a shocked expression. "You can't ask that from a lady!"

I was smart enough not to answer, but Kaidan muttered a not so silent "Lady...?"

Ash was now grinning even more. _Alert! Danger! Femme fatale smile!_

"Watch it, Eltee."

As the barrier opened, we had our weapons drawn and moved behind the rest of our squad which was taking point in combat stance.

Shepard only spared us a glance over her shoulder. "Watch out. I think I saw something in-"

Multiple humming sounds disrupted her, followed by the sound of low-calibre rounds.

The Geth Drones had set a good ambush, but it were only three of them – no real danger to the six of us. It only took two well-placed shotgun rounds and a short assault rifle burst to silence them.

With that taken care of, I could finally take a look at the ruins before me. I wasn't the only one.

"Protheans built to last, huh?" Ashley mused, taking in the whole structure. It was gigantic.

I nodded. "I'm no expert, but it looks like this cave formed itself around the ruins..." A realization hit me. "I don't like how it looks like, though."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know... just, look at those window-things. They are covered by energy fields. And the whole wall, everything is... I dunno, it has no profile. Looks like it was built for efficiency."

I shuddered. "Just look inside these rooms. Plain. As if they should _contain_ something. I have a feeling that this may have been a prison."

"Possible. But does that really matter?" Kaidan answered, sounding not entirely interested - or, to be fair, rather focused on other things.

"It's powered up."

Garrus' dry comment shut everyone up. The chain of thought was rather easy.

A prison would contain security devices to prevent a breakout.

An prothean prison meant that we had no idea what kind of security measures we would encounter.

A prothean prison with power meant trouble.

"You're right. Stay on your toes." Shepard said, taking point.

We reached the second elevator, and again Fireteam One were the first ones to enter. It lowered itself.

_Wait for it…_

A loud screech and sparks flying everywhere tore our nerves apart.

"Commander, are you alright?" Ashley shouted, looking down, shock evident.

"Sonnova... Yeah, we're okay, but the elevator's totaled!"

We could see the first team picking themselves up from the floor and readying up.

Kaidan stayed kinda cool, gestured at me while checking the area. "Yeah, no other way. Rappel!"

I nodded, fastening the rope I carried with me on the rail, listening to the satisfying metal sound as I attached the hook. Mentally, I praised myself for dropping that comment with the 'unstable terrain' with Shepard being nearby. I secured myself with a second hook, swung myself over the railing and began my descent.

"_Uhm... hello? Is anybody there?_"

I almost lost grip on the rope.

"_Can you hear me out there? I'm trapped, I need help!_"

"Commander? Who's that?"

"It's T'Soni! Come down here, quickly!"

A look down worried me a bit – twenty-five meters is not that small a distance to climb down, especially when you're not used to it. But since it had to be done, I made sure to hold onto the rope and let myself down, not as slowly as I would have liked though. If I hadn't worn my armored gloves, I would have either ripped my hand apart – or let loose due to pain, resulting in a pretty dangerous fall.

I hit the ground a bit too hard, but a quick roll saved me from damage to my knees. Ash and Kaidan followed shortly after.

The view that offered itself when I finally stood was one for the books -Shepard stood in front of one of these 'cells' as if frozen, completely dumbfounded. Garrus and Wrex looked behind her, weapons at a ready, but no Geth showed his... _its_ flashlight.

I approached the barrier with my rifle lowered and took the time to take a look at Liara. I was a bit shocked.

Video games are so clean sometimes. I mean, in the games you just see Liara being trapped inside a blue bubble. Otherwise? A clean lab coat, and she herself looks just fine.

I won't get into details, but let's just say that reality is far from being that kind. Liara appeared to be completely exhausted. Even her skin complexion had paled to some kind of steely blue. She needed medical care as soon as possible.

It took Shepard a few seconds to even notice that we were with her.

"Guys, watch the cavern." she ordered, surprisingly quiet. I nodded and turned around, trying not to think right now.

"Doctor T'Soni, I presume?"

I blocked out their conversation for as good as possible, only making sure that what was being said was the same as the conversation I remembered. The five of us instead watched the rest of the cavern as told.

* * *

It was only when Shepard stepped next to me that I paid attention again.

"Orders?" I asked curtly, trying to sound focused and not too unfriendly.

"Cover me."

I was about to answer with_ I don't have a blanket_ when I noticed just how much seriousness our Commander radiated. So I just nodded again and checked the HUD – which got jammed in that very second.

"Contact!"

Our dance with the Geth was short, brutal, and pretty one-sided.

Shepard stowed her rifle on her back and approached a machine that had gone unnoticed until now. I couldn't hide a grin as she placed a hand on and checked the control panel.

"Commander, what is your plan?" Garrus asked, oblivious.

"Getting us a way in." she deadpanned.

"Uhm, Ma'am, are you sure about this?" Kaidan asked, taking a worried look at the ceiling. "This cavern doesn't exactly look stable..."

She merely gave him a look. "Got a better idea?"

Arguing was useless, and so we scattered to take cover and hoped for the best.

"Heads down!"

A deep rumble shook the ground, going straight in my stomach. The mining laser was loud, luckily my earphones did limit it somewhat. It only took a few seconds anyway. When we finally looked up, there was a big fucking hole in the ground.

All Shepard did was waving a 'Let's Move!' over her shoulder. We jumped down in silence, passed the underground cell, and took the elevator up.

Then we stood behind Liara. Our Commander swiveled a finger – we regrouped and covered her back.

"How… How did you get in here? I didn't think there was any way past the barrier!"

"In short? Blew up the ground."

I could feel Shep's glare in my back.

"We need to get you out of here before more Geth arrive."

"Yes, yes, you're right. I've seen enough of them to last a lifetime." Liara sounded so exhausted. "That button should shut down my containment field."

One pushed button later Liara stumbled to the ground. I heard Shepard inhale sharply.

"Alenko, Raven, have a look."

"Affirmative."

I turned around, stowed my rifle on my back and walked to Liara. Kaidan was already kneeling next to her, scanning her body with his omnitool.

She looked horrible. And smelled awful as well.

_What the fuck did you expect?_ I rebuked myself. She must have been here at least three days.

"How do you feel?" I asked as gently as possible. "Headaches, cramps, anything?"

"I... I feel… a bit lightheaded…" she answered. Her eyes were slightly bloodshot, giving her eyes a disturbingly purple look in the dimmed light.

_Asari don't get headaches like humans do when drying out,_ I recollected Chakwas exercises. _Asari don't sweat, and can keep themselves hydrated for some time. The problem to that is that they tend to heat up very quickly. And that can be even more dangerous than simple dehydration. _

"Here, drink this." I pulled a bottle with specially prepared water from my chest rig. I had helped our doc with mixing it - it resembled the chemical composition of Thessia's rivers, extremely healthy for Asari maiden. The water even contained traces of Element Zero. It would reduce the stress on her body and, hopefully, help the 'organic coolant system' in her crest to reduce the excessive heat.

It wouldn't get Liara fully back up to speed, but it was supposed to keep her up and running for long enough so that Chakwas could have a look.

It was kind of sobering to see how greedily Liara tried to empty the bottle. I guess a reaction like that is to be expected from someone in her situation. Still, having to force one of my favourite chars to drink in small gulps was not exactly cool and reminded me once more that real life is not a game.

I kept those thoughts for myself, though, and took a look at Kaidan. He stood up and deactivated his tool.

"Doctor T'Soni is stable, but extremely exhausted." he said aloud. "We should get her to the _NORMANDY_ ASAP."

"That was the plan, Lieutenant. Thanks. Liara, can you stand up? Raven, help her."

I nodded and dragged the young scientist on her feet and supported her with my left arm. I pulled my pistol with my right. "I got her. Any idea on how to get outta here?"

"There is an elevator back in the center of the tower… A- At least I think it's an elevator." Liara leaned heavily on me, but it wasn't too uncomfortable - yet. "It should take us out of here."

"Good enough. Let's go! Guys, protect the VIP!"

The squad formed in a circle around me, and I assumed a defensive stance as we walked to the elevator, supporting Liara's shaky form towards the platform. I heard her breathing right next to me, it was pretty ragged. It goes without saying that I didn't feel all that good in my skin as wel, especially since I knew what was about to happen.

"I- I still cannot believe this. Why would the Geth come after me?"

"Doc, try to stay calm." I warned her as gently as possible - she was on the very verge of tumbling to the ground.

"Do you think Benezia is involved?"

I changed my grip on Liara, trying to steady her some more. "Saren's after the Conduit, something Prothean. Benezia is probably helping him, and you're an expert on that topic." Shepard nodded in confirmation.

"The Conduit? But I don't know-"

A rumble from deep within the ruins interrupted her.

I looked around, unsettled. It's one thing to hear an approaching volcanic outburst in a game. It's an entirely different matter to be right in the thickest of it.

The fact that the other squad members seemed to be just as uneasy wasn't really helpful.

"What the hell was that?"

Liara faced Garrus. A bit of water was still on her lips, I suddenly noticed completely out-of-context.

"These ruins aren't stable… The mining laser must have triggered a seismic event…"

"We should hurry. That whole place could come down any minute!" said Ashley. I had to give her credit - her voice was a bit louder than usual, but no signs of fear or anything.

I exchanged a glance with Shepard. Her expression was unreadable, then she grabbed on her helmet. "Joker! Get the _NORMANDY_ airborne and lock in on my signal! _On the double, mister!"_

"_Aye-aye, Commander. Secure and aweigh. ETA five minutes." _

"That has to go quicker!" shouted Garrus, his voice almost drowned by another rumble.

"If I die in here," Wrex rumbled, menacefully low, "I'll kill him!"

"Get in line, man." I grunted, using the small moment where most people weren't looking at me to grab into my rig, ready up a Molotov grenade and attach it to my belt.

* * *

Only seconds later our ascension came to an end inside a round and spacious room. Kinda arena-like.

On cue, four Geth and a yellow krogan with green headplate appeared to block our only way out.

I stood before Liara, partially shielding her with my body while the others cocked their guns. I did the same with my pistol, pointing it at one of the Geth.

"Surrender." the Krogan ordered before flashing his tooth. "Or don't. That would be more fun."

I calculated the chances of me pulling the molotov without notice, and came to a result of zero - the geth were aware of everything that was going on. _Bloody machines._ My heart beat. This was even worse than before the Citadel ambush.

"There a reason you're in our way?" Shepard asked, calmly. It briefly diverted my attention from the sweat in my hands - that was not a Paragon line, whole place falling apart 'n shit - but the Krogan answered quickly after.

"The same reason you're here. The asari." He took one step closer. "Thanks for getting rid of those energy fields for us. Hand the doctor over."

Liara clinged even more tightly onto me, if that was even possible. "Whatever it is you want… you're not getting it from me!" she said with all her energy - which, sadly, was not much. I noticed her biotics flicker briefly, but the only result was that her panting intensified.

Shep, on the other hand, gained a couple more points for pissing off a krogan in style. "She'll stay with us, thanks." she said, waving dismissively.

"Not an option." our opponent snarled, eyes even more lizard-like than usual. "Saren wants her. He always gets what he wants."

"You'll have to take her, clanless." I turned my head in surprise and almost backed off by instinct.

Urdnot Wrex looked pissed off. His eyes were almost invisible, a slight blue hue surrounding him.

"And who are you, old man?" Our enemy kept his full attention at Wrex.

"It's a shame you don't know me, whelp." Wrex' rumble went right in my brain; it was extremely frightening. Here, he seemed to summon all the might that was his to control -

And then, suddenly, a thunderstorm went loose.

_"I am Urdnot Wrex!_" He bellowed, his voice resonating in the whole cavern. For the lack of a better word, it was _epic_.

"Son of Jarrod, Leader of Clan Urdnot! And _who are you?_"

It was a taunt, and a perfect one. Perfectly calculated.

Wrex sniffed into the air, almost ostentatious. "You don't smell like you ever set a foot on our world! You fight with machines as your _Krantt?_ You sold yourself for a turian! You're _nothing_,_ Korolart_!"

I had no idea what that last word meant, but it sent the other Krogan over the edge. He roared loudly, before sending threatening glances to his Geth.

"Kill them all! Spare the asari -"

I didn't wait for him to finish, but instead fired a few bullets at the Geth Rocket Trooper in my sights.

At the same time, I retreated, dragging Liara with me to cover.

"Fire! Protect Liara!"

Shepard's command was clear, and right on time. Geth don't known anything like moments of shock; they opened fire immediately.

Lucky for me, I was not only the first one to fire a bullet, but also carrying the hostage.

As I should learn later, that was what saved my life.

My reaction in that spur of the moment was understandable - attacking the enemy when he was unaware - but also suicidal. These Geth were programmed or ordered to follow the Krogan's lead. Had the Krogan completed the sentence - "Kill them all! Spare the asari if you can! If not, doesn't matter." - the fact that I was the first one to shoot and the one to carry the hostage would likely made me the primary target, and four Geth at once were too much for me.

But the way it was, the Geth had orders to take Liara alive - and she was in their line of fire if they wanted to target me. So, they focused on everybody else and left me alone while I put the shivering asari into cover behind one of those machine things.

"Don't fucking move!" I shouted at her, she merely stared back.

From the safety of my cover, I tried to see what was going on. My blood ran cold.

Two titans unleashed their might in the center of the room. Wrex was stronger, both his physique and his biotics were more powerful; but his enemy regenerated his health at a rate that was simply not normal. Shep and the others were fighting the Geth, no one dared to intervene into Wrex' business.

The Commander soon noticed me. "Red, keep T'Soni safe!" she shouted, before ducking to dodge an incoming rocket. "Top priority!"

"Roger!" I shouted back, switched to my rifle and targeted a Trooper that came to close. I took him out - with some help from Kaidan and Garrus -

But before I could react, another Geth had cornered Ash.

I saw her fighting for her life. She slammed her rifle's stock against the robot's head, and he even flinched; but all it did was to 'correct' his aim - Ash shields flickered once.

The next salvo went into her thighs from close distance.

She screamed and went down.

* * *

Newton once said: 'For every action, there is always an equal, and an opposite reaction.'

The action: A squad mate's - a friend's - life was in danger.

That moment, I _was_ a reaction.

I charged out of cover, towards the trooper who was about to raise his rifle to finish Ash off.

He noticed me and turned around to deal with the higher level threat first.

Before he could do anything, however, I had emptied a whole heatsink capacity into him.

The Geth's shields went out; but he was still standing.

And there I was, in the middle of my movement and without a bullet left.

So I doubled my stakes and went all in.

I stormed towards the Trooper, it's comrade's shots either missing me or reflecting at my shields, and gained as much speed as I could.

I reached him when he was almost ready to shoot me.

And smacked him my rifle in the bloody flashlight head with everything I got.

It stumbled and went out of balance. I dropped my rifle to the ground and activated the omnitool in one motion, trained numerous times. It seemed to happen in slow-mo. Or maybe, it is just my memories - so much happened at once.

The Geth regained his stance, but before it could do anything, I buried the glowing orange blade in his throat and gave it a twist.

That cut his sensory feed, effectively ending his resistance. It struggled a bit, but a second hit in the chest region took him out for good. The silicon-carbide blade went through the synthetic's armor like through butter - it fell down and sprayed sparks.

I suddenly went sick. I stumbled behind cover and fell on my knees, inhaling shakily. I had to inject a dose of adrenaline to keep myself on. The small sting of the needle was lost in my rebellious stomach.

"Raven, help me!"

Letting the combat drug taking effect, I regained my focus and looked around - noticing Ash on the ground next to me. She clenched her teeth and pressed her hands on her right thigh. "I'm hit!"

It took me a few seconds to fully come back to reality, but I found myself already scanning Ash when that happened. "Commander, cover me!" I croaked, "I got her!"

I almost didn't hear her "Okay!", I was out of it. I applied omnigel and was trying to give Ash a bandage with my violently shaking hands when Kaidan appeared next to me.

"I'll do this, Raven, cover us!"

I only nodded, all too happy - shooting someone sounded so much easier than trying to heal someone right now - and tried to ready up my rifle.

No result. I tried again and then noticed the red error message where the heatsink capacity was supposed to be displayed.

I cursed loudly. This wild cursing brought me back into the fight.

I dropped the jammed rifle and pulled the pistol, then leaned out to take a look.

In the meantime, the scales had been tipped - in our favor. Four of us six were still fighting, only one Geth and one Krogan remained.

In that moment, Wrex had enough of brawling with his opponent and used _Throw._ The results were as expected - the enemy Krogan had a hard landing, but my HUD showed him already healing again.

I remembered my grenade and grinned - truth be told, a more accurate description would be that I bared my teeth - and took the last safety off.

"Hey, Krogan!"

Both Krogan turned to me, but Wrex realized what I was up to and brought some distance between himself and the enemy.

Thinking back, I probably went insane just for a few seconds. Or how else can I explain why I suddenly quoted a song I had heard back in my time?

"Fancy a Cocktail? I got a-"

I threw it.

"_Molotov!"_

Ash's and mine 'explosive ingenuity' proved to be far deadlier against flesh as against synthetics.

The initial explosion staggered the clone and took his shields, but it was the infernal fire that was most deadly.

_"Raaaaaaahhhhrrr!"_

He screamed in pain, but tried to continue fighting.

Not this time.

Having dispatched the last Geth Trooper in the meantime, the five of us that were still standing focused on one target. Saren's henchman didn't go down, he was _annihilated_. Orange blood splattered into all directions or was burned mid-air, and when he fell to the ground I wasn't sure whether it was because of the fire or rather because of the pound of lead we had filled him with.

All I know is that I collapsed on all fours when it was finally over.

_Stand up!_ I called myself out and fought my body up again. _This place will come down on us! You stay here, you're dead! Go!_

"Everyone okay?"

"I'm okay, Ma'am, I can walk!" Kaidan dragged Ash back up.

"Raven, where's T'Soni?"

"I'm here, Commander!" Said Asari crawled out of her cover, eyes wide open. I sprinted to her and helped her on her feet.

Shep was about to say something else, but the earth shook again.

This time, _above us_.

"Squad, scramble! Get the fuck outta here! _Go!_"

The first rocks came down on us. The energy field out collapsed. Not a second to early.

I clutched Liara's arm and dragged her with me.

The escape itself is somewhat blurred in my memory.

It was a messy ensemble of dust, rocks, collapsing structures and Shepard's intense shouting.

It was a miracle that we all made it out in one piece. All I could do was to focus on the one way out, to keep Liara close to me, and to _fucking run._

We left the bored tunnel. Behind us, it collapsed. We stopped on the walkway out; it was a bloody relieving feeling to see the NORMANDY hover above us.

That relief only lasted so long, though.

"Commander, the lava is rising!" Ashley shouted, eyes on the ground below us. Or what was left of it. The molten stone glowed and bubbled, bathing everything into a hellish light.

"_Commander, sensors say an eruption is imminent!"_

"Copy! Joker, Mako's a no-go, pick us up!"

"_Understood."_

All we could do was to watch how Joker brought the ship closer, how the lava raised and the rumble became more and more intense. The main airlock opened, the ramp lowered, our fellow marines were assembled to pick us up. Tali was in their mid. Joker worked excellently. He was every ounce the ace he claimed to be, but our time was slowly running out.

Finally, only two meters separated us from the ramp.

"_Commander, I can see that peak there spitting some fire"_ Joker reported, sounding not the least concerned. _"Would you please come aboard?"_

"Everyone, jump! Go, go!"

We jumped, one by one. Those who needed were biotically lifted. I was the second last one to extract, jumping from the railing onto the ramp and almost slipped - Pvt. Davis and Pvt. Katsavidis caught me before I fell out, though.

The Commander was the last one to leave, biotically propelling herself into the C/E deck.

The ramp was just starting to close, but Joker already gave full speed. A few seconds later, we heard the eruption through the hull. It went gradually more quiet as we sped away, leaving the mission area.

I was finally allowed to break down. Cramps shivered my legs, I panted heavily, and coughed. I wasn't the only one. I remember Doctor Chakwas looking after us, people standing around us, someone giving me some water to drink. They removed my armor and my weapons, and after a while I felt fit enough to stand up - with some help from the assembled marines, that is.

I took a look around - everyone was here. Tali was helping Garrus, Wrex was more or less treating himself, Kaidan and Ashley were surrounded by other marines and a couple of medics. Shepard was the only one standing tall, enduring another medic's first-aid-scan.

I looked next to me - Dr. Chakwas was treating a completely drained Liara T'Soni. Our gazes briefly met - the Doc nodded approvingly. _Good work_, that meant. I nodded back, unable and, frankly, unwilling to process any more information.

"Hey, Raven, you hear me?"

I turned my face around and tried to focus on Shep.. "Ma'am ?" I asked, spent. Sluggish.

She smiled gently.

"Go, shower, sleep. Sleep as long as you need. We'll debrief tomorrow."

I hadn't seen such a smile since…

"You did excellent today."

I would have tried to control my answer under different circumstances. Turns out, when you're on the verge of passing out you stop caring.

"Thank you, Shep. I'm … honored." I was still panting heavily.

The Commander, still smiling, nodded. "You're dismissed. Go get some sleep."

I nodded back. The simple act of moving my head caused nausea._ Enough. Sleep. _

"That Joker flyboy though." I mumbled in passing. "Someone give that guy a fucking medal."

Shepard's light laughter accompanied me and the guys escorting me into the elevator.

We left Hell behind us.

* * *

I left the bridge with two empty cups and in high spirits.

The SR-1 was now roughly twenty hours from Therum, on our way back to the Citadel. Shepard had announced a debriefing on the next day via the intercom, and then she likely collapsed on her bed. I am the last one to judge her for that. _I_ had to take a cold shower to make it to my bunk, after all.

It was kind of a matter of honor that the first thing I did next morning was to grab two cups and stroll to our helmsman.

"Whaddya want, Raven? I'm kinda busy here. Flying the ship 'n stuff like that."

Then one cup of steaming hot coffee lowered itself into his field of view.

"I always have time for you, though. Just so you know…"

For the next half an hour, I occupied the co-pilot seat (after swearing an oath to not touch anything) and listened to the stories from Joker's days aboard other ships, making sure to pay him the respect he deserves and not mentioning Vrolik's Syndrome with a single word. Finally, he even told me the story of how he was assigned as the _NORMANDY_'s pilot - it was interesting to hear _He Who Laughs Best_ from his perspective. Of course there were a lot of exaggerations involved, but still.

_Joker's one of a kind_, _that's for sure_. I smirk._ Still, he seems to be a bit reserved compared to the one from Mass Effect 2 and 3. Maybe it's because he doesn't really know me yet. Or it's just a ME2 – thing_. _I guess, given the circumstances..._

I currently and mentally compare the imagines from the comics to what I just heard while putting the two cups into the dishwasher. Joker wins. For artistic purposes.

I notice someone stepping besides me. Kaidan. He doesn't really look like he's fully awake, though. Otherwise he would have greeted me with more than a nod and some mumbling.

"G'morning, LT", I say and give him a big grin.

His response is merely a grumble. "Briefing in twenty, comm-room." He then proceeds to impatiently wait for the machine to spill out the black liquid that seems to keep the whole Alliance navy together. And to rub his brow.

"Aye-aye."

I then decide to respectfully retreat. Migraine and and lack of caffeine combined is harsh enough without me spreading good mood.

* * *

On time, we assemble in the Communications center. Liara takes my usual seat, so I have to sit directly across her with the other two humans. The poor Asari still looks shaken up, but a least her skin color has returned to a healthier shade of royal blue.

I lean back in my seat, my arms crossed in front of me when Joker drops his comment through the intercom.

"_Too close Commander."_ He really sounds disapproving. _"A few more minutes and we would be swimming in molten sulfur. The NORMANDY isn't equipped to land in volcanoes."_

_That Shepard gaze though. 'I endured Geth, a volcano and a krogan, I can endure him for thirty seconds'._

"_They tend to fry our sensors and melt our hull. Just, for future reference."_

I look up to the speaker, snorting and grinning at the same time. "We can always trade positions if you want to, Moreau. Maybe you fancy krogan and Geth more than I do."

"_Naaah."_ He sounds dismissive, and I'm waiting for his punchline. "_You may call yourself Raven, but you better leave the flying to me, man."_ A brief pause. _"No offense."_

I hear a few chuckles in the room. I laugh. "I'll remind that the next time I do ya a favor. I heard some salt in one's coffee triples the effect..."

"Guys, cut it, for crying out loud!" Shepard shakes her head, but lowers it at the same time to hide her face.

"Sorry, Shepard." "_Okay, Commander._"

I fight for a straight face, but lose it as I see Liara's flabbergasted features.

"We almost died out here, and you two are making _jokes_?"

"Joker got us all out of there in one piece. I think he has earned the right for a few bad jokes."

"Plus, Joker's a real arse." I add. "Just try to ignore him."

"Raven!"

"Apologies, Ma'am."

_Plus two points on Renegade. Worth it. _

"I… see… it must be a human thing, then."

I chuckle a bit and then follow the rest of the conversation, though nobody says anything that would be new to me. I listen carefully anyway. This debrief is, for all intents and purposes, a turning point in the trilogy - the first time the concept of the Cycle is mentioned.

From now on, we have an idea about what we're up against. Not that it really matter right now. The general situation can only go more FUBAR anyway.

I grin when Liara fusses over Shepard, with Kaidan bringing her down again. "_Scientific curiousity"_. _Aha_. _Rivalry?_ I nod approvingly when Liara accepts the invitation to join our squad.

"Thank you, Commander. I'm very gratefu... uhhh..." She brought her hand to her forehead. "I'm afraid I feel a bit light-headed."

"I probably don't even wanna know the last time you eat and slept before we came." I say. "You better let Dr. Chakwas have another look."

"It's probably just mental exhaustion..."

"Hm. Or it may be not." The Commander surprised me yet again by interrupting Liara. "We can talk again after you've seen the doctor." Shep says, softer than I anticipated. "Raven, stay behind. The rest of you – dismissed."

"One last question." I say aloud. "Wrex?"

"Hm?"

"What you shouted at that guy, what does that mean?" I wipe over my brow. "It sure made him angry."

"Hm." Our resident battlemaster rumbled low in thoughts before turning his reptile gaze at me once more. "It is difficult to explain it in another language. _Korolart_ is one of the worst insults you can give a krogan." I shifted uneasy in my seat; Wrex' red eyes aren't something one can stare into for long. "It roughly means clanless, honorless. Krantt-less. Weak. All in one word."

I nod, giving a crooked grin. "Thanks, man. I'll make sure to not say something that even remotely sounds like that around you from now on."

He bellows that my ears almost fall off. "Hah! Don't worry, it's not so bad when an alien says it." He grins. "But when a krogan would call me that... I would challenge him to death."

He then stands up, nods "Shepard." and leaves the room.

I stay seated as everyone else rises; it gains me a few questioning glances, but finally the room is empty, save for Shepard and me.

Then I finally stand up and move to Shep, picking up the Geth rifle that had been placed next to me for the entire meeting as I walk.

"Ready to face the top-dogs, Raven?" she asks.

I snort. "You sure you want me to do that, Commander? I'm not exactly the best one to be diplomatic. Just sayin'."

She shrugs. "As long as you don't start a 'diplomatic incident', we're fine." She smiles. "I don't mind an interesting conversation, you know…"

"This will be fun." I murmur, stretching my back and looking straight forward. "Alright, let's start that show."

She eyes me, but I keep my gaze on the still empty holoscreen.

I get that this is all real life now, but even then – why should I suddenly start to have any kind of respect for the Council? There's a reason you can let them die in Mass Effect 1. Sadly, their replacements are worthless as well; so it does logically not make any sense to sacrifice them.

I mean, if you do, you lose the _DESTINY ASCENSION_. Come on.

But maybe, just maybe, the Council made the same positive change as Ash did. One can hope, after all.

* * *

The intercom cracks.

"_Mission reports are filed, Commander. Want me to patch you through?" _

"Patch 'em through, Joker."

"_Setting up the link now."_

Roughly two minutes later, three holographic images blink into existence.

"Councillors." Shepard greets, nodding respectfully.

_"Commander Shepard."_ Councillor Tevos replies, mirroring Shepard. Valern nods sort of polite as well, Sparatus merely stares at me.

"Councillors, this is Private Jess Raven, one of my squad members." I salute, even though they weren't my superiors. I can't think of a better way to greet right now, without either feeling like an idiot or being disrespectful. "He was the one who secured the Geth rifle."

_"Do you have the necessary security clearance for this conversation, Private?"_

I hold my ground and meet the turian's gaze. "I do, Councillor. SPECTRE Shepard has given me clearance to take part in this meeting."

He continues to stare at me. I have the unsettling feel of a predator eying his next meal... but I will be damned if I give that egg-head any ground. _Especially_ him.

"_Greetings, Private Raven."_ The asari councillor somehow manages to put a sincere greeting and a hidden warning, directed at Sparatus, into three words. _"Commander Shepard has mentioned your discovery in her report, including your theory about the resulting consequences. We were hoping for you to give us a report, and to answer a few questions."_

"I will try my best to fill you in, Councillors." I say with what I hope is a steady voice. Having respect for the people themselves or not aside – I must respect the fact that these three politicians are _de facto_ leading the largest part of the known galaxy.

_And they just request me to be present during their debrief? Why? What the heck have you written into that report, Shepard?_

"_We appreciate that. But before this, we should talk about your activities on Therum."_

"Understood, Councillor."

"_We've received your report, Commander. I understand Doctor T'Soni is on the NORMANDY?"_

Shepard nodded to Tevos, but frowned when Sparatus spoke up.

"_I assume you are taking the necessary security precautions?"_

"Liara's on our side." Shep responded firmly. "The Geth tried to kill her."

"_Benezia would never allow Saren to kill her daughter." _Tevos attempts to sound firm in her opinion, but a very small amount of hesitation lingers. I wonder if Tevos knows Benezia personally – and, considering all facts, I answer that with 'yes'.

"_Maybe she doesn't know." _says salarian councillor Valern, blinking twice during one brief sentence.

"_Or maybe, we don't know her. We never expected that she could become a traitor." _

"I have a question to that, if that's alright?" I ask.

Their red-orange holograhic images do not exactly convert small gestures and the like, but its enough to be able to guess that they didn't expect a lowly Private to interrupt them. _Too bad for you. _

Shepard looks unfazed. "Sure."

"Do we have any idea on what could be their motives? I get that Saren and Benezia want to find the Conduit, whatever that is – but, why do they want to bring back the Reapers?"

_"Their reasons don't matter. They have allied themselves with the Geth and attacked Council space. That's enough to bring them to justice."_

Somehow, I'm not really surprised that the turian councillor thinks so … hard-edged. _What a pun._ The same logic that led to the First-Contact-War – they committed a crime, they need to be punished. Motives don't matter.

"Maybe. But – why? The Reapers, according to that Geth memory core Miss Zorah nar Rayya has found, did hunt the Protheans to extinction. It is likely that they would do the same to us."

I took a one second dramatic pause. The silence in the room was weighting heavily on me.

"From what I know, Saren was your top SPECTRE -" I nod towards the asari "- and Matriarch Benezia was a highly respected spiritual leader among your people, Madame Councillor. My question is, what could they gain from unleashing the Reapers?"

Suddenly, I notice that being too smart could offer an opening in my cover. _Careful, dude!_

Valern brings his hand to his chin, in a gesture that I am somewhat used to from Mordin Solus._ "Their reasons do raise a few questions. What could they gain? Power, wealth? Unlikely. Neither Saren nor Benezia were lacking material things."_

"Saren was a SPECTRE; he already had nearly unlimited power within Council space." Shepard said.

_"Precisely, Commander. Easier to operate as a SPECTRE than trying to take over as a ruler. We'll need to investigate that. We've already worked on a background check, but it would be wise to look twice. More important question is, what has he done to convince Matriarch Benezia? Unless she joined his cause on her own - or is secretly the real leader."_

_"Benezia's actions are... not like her."_ Tevos frowns. _"She always said that the Asari should involve themselves more into galactic affairs, but she always made clear that this should only happen in cooperation and peace with the other civilizations of this galaxy. To be involved into something like this ... it doesn't suit her."_

"Brainwashing? But she is a Matriarch..." Shepard trails off. The discussion is going on without me. I have the good feeling of scoring a partial victory without exposing myself too much. _Now only try and keep that act together for three more years._

_"Indeed, Commander. It is very unlikely to successfully, as you put it, 'brainwash' a Matriarch. Among my people, matriarchs are revered for their strong will."_

I suddenly notice that the Council has altered the topic from 'What could they gain from the Reapers' to a more general 'What is the reason for Saren's and Benezia's defection from Council laws?'. _They either don't want to admit that the Reapers may be real, or they just don't want to commit themselves to an opinion._It kinda makes me sad and angry at the same time._ I don't know why I am even surprised. They're politicians._

The Commander seems to have noticed that as well. At least, I can feel some tension radiating from her, plus I can see her tight lips. But she keeps quiet and merely listens to our conversation. And I'm in no position to ask for anything. _And I can't prove a damned thing right now. Not even with breaking my cover._

_"But at the same time, we have nothing that could explain why she would go against her believes in such a manner."_

_"The same goes for Saren." _It is again Valern who speaks up; Sparatus doesn't look like he wants to take part in the talk at all. I can only guess how humiliating it must be for him to see his top SPECTRE - _a fellow turian!_ \- disgracing himself with such despicable action. _And letting two humans see it all, one of them not even an officer. _

_"While his psych profile does not exclude violent actions, he was undeniably the Council's top agent for decades, and for a reason. His methods were questionable; his results were not. For him to turn without any warning sign is unexpected as well. Agree with Private Raven; motivations must be examined."_

"I apologize if I am intruding into your business, Councillors, Commander," I continue, a bit less nervous than before - having a Council member agree with me, and even if its 'only' Valern, the lightweight of the three bolsters my confidence._ I will take victories where I can get them._ "But my suggestion would be to maybe take a look at her following. I have heard that a Matriarch usually has a large entourage - I can't imagine that every single one of her ... followers, for the lack of a better term, would follow her into betraying her people. There must be someone who disagreed with her, and could maybe offer insight into the matter."

_"Investigations into the Matriarchs teachings and among her pupils haven't turned up anything yet, Private._" The turian councillor seems to be intent on letting me know my place. I answer his glare with a steely glance on my own. _I will not back down, Sparatus._

_"Our intelligence has interviewed a lot of her former students, but we haven't found anyone who would be close enough to her to get useful results."_ Valern adds, no doubt noticing the silent conflict between Sparatus and me. _"We will continue to look, but our chances are slim.__"_

_"Commander, does Dr. T'Soni by any chance know someone close enough to Benezia who could give us the answers we need?" _Tevos sounds hopeful, but Shepard shakes her head.

"I haven't yet found the time to properly ask her, but I don't think she does. She claims that she hasn't spoken to her mother in years, decades even. " She straightens her back. "I will send you an update as soon as I know more."

_"Understood, Commander._" Valern sniffes, then his mouth twists to a smile. _"At least, the mission was a success."_

_"Apart from the utter destruction of a major prothean ruin."_ Sparatus says, directing his glance at my CO. _"Was that really necessary, Shepard?"_

"The Geth were crawling all over those ruins. We were lucky to make it out alive."

_Paragon Shepard strikes again,_ I mutter in my mind. _I would have told him to eff-off._

_"Of course, Commander."_ assures Valern. _"The mission must always take priority."_

"Any further question to the mission, Councillors?"

_"No, thank you, Commander. Your report is very detailed."_

_"If everyone agrees, I would like to move to the second topic at hand - your discovery, Private Raven._" Sparatus surprises me by addressing me at least somewhat nice._ It must be because I currently hold the key to new weapon technology. Like, literally hold it._

_"Yes, I would like to hear about it as well, Private. Your theory sounds intriguing." _

Now, Councillor Tevos smiles a friendly smile at me, and I again discover that I am not immune to asari charm.

"I can safely say, Lady Councillor, that it is now more than a theory."

I look at Shepard, who nods at me, and take a step forward so that I'm now in the center of attention. I bring the rifle up and hold at front of me, like I would my assault rifle in passive stance.

"Councillors, the weapon I'm currently holding has been captured at Therum, as a remnant of a skirmish between Geth forces and our strike team. While most of the Geth forces appear to wield firearms that are operating just like most weaponry in Council space, this particular rifle differs greatly from any known design."

I hold it so that the cameras that are projecting my image into the Councillors' offices can capture a clear image. "After a brief field examination, Commander Shepard ordered Gunnery Chief Williams, Miss Zorah nar Rayya and me to examine it aboard our ship. Before we continue, I want to add that we believe this rifle to be a prototype, issued only to Geth platforms of a new generation. It was set to be destroyed at the destruction of it's wielder, but a lucky series of circumstances prevented that from happening in this case."

I shift it around a bit so that the three councillors can see it from all sides.

"As you see, the exterior design varies only very slightly from the one that is commonly used in Council space. Also, most of the actual systems are almost the same - though a bit more advanced then what we commonly use. But not as much as it could raise serious concern. "

It is worth noting that all three of them look slightly concerned at my rather off-hand comment about Geth weaponry being more advanced than Council weapons. Although, if I had to guess, for different reasons.

"But there is one serious difference, and it is situated right... here."

I tap on a point at the rifle's body, not needing to worry about any Geth security devices anymore. Tali has defused them all.

"As you are all aware, most modern day firearms use internal heatsinks to compensate the excess heat that gets emitted because of the mass effect. However, this rifle uses some sort of an external heatsink. It can easily be removed - " I press a button close to the grip, dropping the thermal clip into my left hand "- and replaced." I store the ejected clip in one of my uniform's pouches and pull a second one out. The first one is the original clip, the second one is a replica Tali and Ashley have crafted at the work bench. I put the new clip into the port; it clicked into place.

"I don't want to bother you all with the details behind the tech, Gunnery Chief Williams is currently writing a detailed report which will be forwarded to Alliance Intelligence together with this prototype." The message is clear - and Alliance soldier has found it, the Alliance will have the first look. Of course, practically, the Council could always request to informed abut such a discovery - heck, the Allaince ay even forward it on their own to gain points with the other species. _Above my paygrade._

"What I can tell you with certainity, however, is that the Geth sacrificed the _entire_ internal heatsink for this external mechanism - and have managed to use the freed-up space to also significantly increase the kinetic energy with each bullet."

_"Do you have any relieable data, Private?_" Unsurprisingly, Valern as the scientifically versed and logical thinking Salarian is the one to ask. Sparatus eyes the rifle thoughtfully; Tevos merely looks worried.

"Yes, Councillor. We compared this rifles exact specifications to those of our standard-issue firearms, bare of any mods. The results are... worrrisome. Exact data will be inlcuded in the report I mentioned earlier, but this prototype's EoI* rivals a tier-X-assault rifle, maybe even surpasses it. Additionally, the detachable heatsinks allow an extremely high rate of fire. You simply don't need to wait for your rifle to cool down - you can just exchange the heatsink and continue."

I look up into the three holographic faces. Lucky me, I consider myself a decent speaker - decent enough that I don't stutter under pressure, anyway. Plus, knowing what I'm talking aboutn helps as well.

"Councillors, this prototype alone has a rate of fire that is approximately 20% higher than even SPECTRE-level rifles."

I let that fact sink in.

"I am no expert on warfare theory, Councillors." I continue more calmly then I feel. "But even I as an regular rifleman can think of the impact this discovery will have on modern infantry combat."

_"Increased firepower per soldier. Lower degree of efficiency of barriers. A fundamental change to general weapon design and tactics."_ Valerns response is clear and precise.

We converse for a few more minutes about a few details - my knowledge about the ammunition-based weapons of our time and Mass Effect 2 and 3 proves to be helpful. Then the three of them thank me - none of them looks particuliar enthusiastic about all of this, though, aside from Valern maybe - and exchange a couple of additional polite, but otherwise useless words.

_"Good luck, Commander. Remember, we're all counting on you."_

Tevos smiled. Then she vanishes, alongside of the holograms of the other two councillors.

_I surely made a name for myself today... for better or for worse._

In the sudden silence, I turn around to Shepard, waiting for some kind of a signal.

She continues to stare into empty space and bites her lower lip.

It takes a couple of seconds for her to answer my glance. I can't read what's in her eyes.

"... She forgot the 'No pressure' part." she answers dryly.

I have to grin at that. "My apologies for interfering into your meeting, Shepard."

"Don't mention it. It was interesting to see them on their toes for once..."

_You only have to hang up on them, Shep_. I smile.

"Regardless, thank you for your presentation, Raven. I see you at dinner."

"I'll be there, Commander. See ya."

I salute, endure her rolling her eyes like she has to endure my salute, and leave the room.

I could swear that her gaze is lingering on me...

* * *

The mess clock told me that exactly twenty-eight hours had passed since the council debrief.

I was sitting comfortably in the far corner – far from the Captain's Cabin, that is – and sipped on my Earl Grey, stretching out my legs under the table. They felt weak, not surprising after two hours on a treadmill.

A datapad was lying before me, containing roughly seven hundred pages worth of information about basically every space-faring species and the best ways to treat their wounds. A 'brief overview'. Luckily, I could skip some chapters, like on salarians - though I bookmarked it for ME2. I had more than 2 years of time for that.

It could be considered late afternoon, ship's time. My personal work for the day was done - the Mako oiled, the weapons cleaned, the Onyx-I armor taken apart and stripped for useful parts before we turned the rest into omnigel. My new and rather fantastic Onyx-III was already adjusted and ready for duty. Unfortunately, my trusty Avenger rifle was beyond repair. Shepard had ordered a replacement, though, and even a Mattock, so my grief was fairly limited.

In short: A rather normal later afternoon aboard the _SSV NORMANDY._

Setting down the cup of tea with my left hand and picking up the datapad with my right, I tried once again to focus on how to treat internal bleedings of turians. With no success. Time and again my gaze drifted off to the medbay lock.

At this point, Liara had already settled into the small laboratory area behind the medbay. No doubt she was now sitting in front of her terminal, searching the extranet for things I probably wouldn't like to know.

If I had been in a different mood, maybe I would have acted on impulse and visited her. But giving her some time to adjust looked like a better idea right now.

So it was kind of a surprise when said Asari left the medbay, noticed me, hesitated a bit, and then walked over.

"Hello, Mr. Raven. I hope I'm not disturbing you?"

I was so used to being called 'Raven' now that being called 'Mister Raven' triggered an ironic response.

"Certainly not, Dr. T'Soni. Considering you already do that, there's no need to worry."

She was flustered, and I was again reminded that I needed to keep my sarcasm on a leash.

"My apologies, Doc." I smiled at her, trying make her more comfortable. "It's just that I keep thinking about what you said during our debrief, and try to make some kind of a sense of that."

I gestured towards the other side of the table. "Please, have a seat."

She thanked me and sat down, a bit awkwardly though.

I put down the datapad and took another sip from my tea. "How can I help you, Doctor T'Soni?"

"Please, Liara is just fine. It may seem... I apologize. I have a question that may seem... strange to you. But I've been reading a lot about humanity, and there were a few question that I would like to ask a human about. And, well... you were just sitting here..."

"No need to apologize, Liara." I reassured her. "It will be good not having to deal with this stuff here" - I pointed at the pad - "for a few minutes."

"I see..." She paused briefly. "I find this interesting. _'I see'_ as a synonym to _'I understand.' _Is your eyesight that important to humans?"

I lean back, thinking of a good reply. "From my perspective, yes. Well, at least historically speaking. Before we developed a cure for being blind, or having other problems with our eyesight. I don't know exactly, but if the history books are correct, then there was often a stigma attached to people that couldn't use their eyes, or were otherwise... well, crippled."

I shifted in my seat, trying to think of how to continue. "But nowadays we have developed cures for most illnesses of that sort. Although... maybe, that even increased the amount of problems."

She looked curious, so I added: "I have a feeling that the fewer people are actually suffering from something limiting them, the lesser our acceptance for that problem gets..."

Noticing just how ridiculous I'm sounding, I raise my hands. "It's just my personal opinion, though, and I'm not an expert on human psychology. So, uhm, please just - ignore what I said. You may want to talk about that with Dr. Chakwas instead. She's a medical professional, after all."

She looked at me, slightly amused and bewildered. "Yes, she is. I apologize for being so... naive. But I am not used to talking to aliens... especially humans. Your species seems so.. strange..."

"No offense taken, but look who's talking." I gestured at her, sixth sense of sarcasm going nuts at her comment. "A member of a race of essentially blue human women with some sort of a scalp crest instead of hairs. Now that is strange."

"I know that most species perceive us as 'female', but we are not," Liara hurried to correct me. I wondered in that moment if she even knew what sarcasm was. I guessed the chances to be around fifty-fifty, rising to sixty percent if she had yet talked to Shepard. "Genders like 'male' or 'female' have no real meaning for us. We are Asari."

"Yeah, I do belive you." I smiled at her. "But, just look at your fellas - High-heels? Dresses? Voice?" _Breasts?_ "I apologize, but just about everything about your species screams 'female' to a human."

"Hm... I can't recollect the last time I've worn a dress."

I jumped and turned around.

Ashley had, apparently, overheard our conversation and decided to sneak up on us.

"Does that mean I'm no woman, Private Raven?"

_Uh-oh_.

In my defense, I tried. But about everything I could think up in a few second wuld have gained me a slap. So I decided to go with irony.

"I guess you do qualify as a woman, Ma'am."

She folded her arms in front of her chest and gave me a devilish grin. Poor Liara had probably no idea what was going on. "And on what evidence do you base your theory on?"

Truth be told, if I didn't knew that she could probably take me out with one hand only I would have said something... inappropriate. My loose tongue did strike regardless.

"I do know what a soldier tomboy looks like." I ducked, but she chuckled, closed the distance and gave me a friendly shove. "Fair enough."

"Sorry, the opportunity presented itself."

"I noticed. You're an idiot sometimes, Jess."

"Yeah, I kinda take pride in that fact."

She went serious again.

"I thought it may be interesting for you - a couple of minutes back High Command sent us a message. They've extracted 305 and 303 and are working on mopping up the remaining Geth pockets."

She rubbed over her thigh. From wht I've heard, the bullet had clearly penetrated her flesh without causing extensive damage to her muscles. It was supposed to be healed within two weeks - just the time we needed to arrive at the Citadel for resupplying. Ash could take that break - with our Mako molten in lava, we couldn't deploy in uncharted territory anyway.

"Good to hear." I nodded, but my lips formed a thin line. "How many dead?"

She sighed. "Seven KIA, twelve wounded. Could have been worse."

I was quiet for a few seconds, looking down into my tea. "Thanks for letting me know, Ash."

"No problem." She smiled a bit sadly. "If anyone needs me, I'll be down in C/E at the armory, working on my new armor. See you later, Raven. Doctor."

I watched her leave, my thoughts divided between thinking of the seven men and women and being glad that Ash didn't openly show hostility towards Liara. _Maybe I shouldn't spend too much time around her to keep Ash sweet. And that totally sounded wrong._

I returned my attention to Liara, to find her looking down at the table.

"Seven dead... because of me?"

I shook my head. "No. Not a single soldier died because of you. Those seven gave their lives to protect Alliance territory."

I smiled, trying to convince her of the half-truth I told her. _Frankly, I don't know if any of them died while playing decoy for us. Might as well be the full truth._

"Look here, not a single one of the six that went for you took lasting damage. It's our job - you're welcome."

I decided to switch the topic. "I believe you wanted to ask me a question?"

"Uhm, yes... but I forgot."

I laughed lightly. "Fair enough." I took a look at the clock - still got roughly two hours before I was supposed to be somewhere else.

"I have a suggestion, Doctor."

She raised one of her eyebrow-markings. It did look kinda... cute. And strange.

"If you have some time, I would like to as you a few questions about Asari culture as well. I'm from Earth; I only know about aliens from the Extranet and my time aboard this ship." I pointed nowhere specific.

"How about you ask me a question, I ask you and so on and so on." I grinned. "When we're done, both of us will be much wiser than before."

She actually smiled back. "I would like that. May I begin?"

"Sure thing."

"Uhm... how old are you?"

I grinned. "I'm flattered, Doctor."

"Oh, now, I-I don't mean it that way, I just-"

"Relax, Liara. I'm 21 years old... compared to your lifespan, I'm roughly 140 years old." I grinned again at her bemused expression. "I'm the youngest member of Commander Shepard's squad, so, yeah. My turn, if you don't mind. "

"Oh, no, not at all!"

I took a sip from my tea, then a thought hit me. _How impolite!_ "Before that, would you like a tea as well?"

"Please, yes." She looked at my cup. "I must admit, I am kind of curious about tea from the human homeworld."

"Hm." I raised from the table to walk to the cooking niche where I picked up a second cup and a small bag of tea. "This one is a mixture of herbs from Asia, one of the continents back on Earth. It's probably not as good as what you're used to, but I hope its a good substitute."

I spilled some hot water on the herbs, watching the colour spread. "We're on a military ship, and to put it mildly, our provisions are... well, you'll know soon enough." I took the cup, walked back to the table and put it down in front of Liara.

"Here you are." I smiled and accepted her nod as a 'thank you'. "I recommend waiting exactly three minutes. Well, Dr. Chakwas recommends." I sat down on my place again, grinning openly. "I would follow her suggestion when it comes to this sorta stuff. She's a British lady - and among us humans, the Brits are well-known for their tea."

She sniffed at the spreading aroma, then looked at me and smiled. "Then it is true what I heard? You humans are truly as diverse as I was told?"

I nod. "I'd love to talk about that some more, if you are interested. But -" I leaned back in my seat, still smiling "-not to be impolite, but I think it's my turn now, isn't it?"

She nodded and closed her hands around the cup.

"What are the meanings behind Asari facial markings? Are they some kind of... family markings? Like the Turians with their colonial markings?"

And so we continued for two hours. It were two pretty insightful hours.

It would be a bit of a challenge to fit Liara into the team, the cameraderie that had formed itself... not to mention that half of the crew saw her as a potential traitor.

But we had at least two weeks of rest ahead of us until we reached the Citadel, so I was okay with taking some time.

Little did I knew that these fourteen days of rest would quickly pale to the events that should play out on the galaxy's capital...

* * *

_**A/N:** ***EoI - Energy on Impact (Damage per bullet)  
**_

_*sigh* Why do I even bother with making promises that I can't keep anyway? ._._

_I hope that the 11k words you just read have been a bit of a compensation - and enough for you guys to be convinced that I will indeed keep on writing and this story is not dead. By far not. _

_Please, consider writing me a review, leaving a fav or a follow and the like. I appreciate every single ones of those and always answer to feedback, if I can._

_Thank you again to **5 Coloured Walker** for being my Beta! As you all may have noticed, we're taking a bit speed... and next time, we're on the Citadel. Yeah. You may have expected a more epic announcement... but there are things going on my alter ego doesn't know anything about. I'm already looking forward to writing that part :D_

_See ya next time, guys, and take care!_

_Last edit 02.05.16 - Tried my best to keep an annoyed beta reader sweet. I don't wanna be slapped upside my head. That being said - no promises. Australia is far away... ^^  
_


	13. Eight - Raven: An Unexpected Encounter

_**"Ein bisschen Freundschaft ist mir mehr wert als die Bewunderung der ganzen Welt."**_

_(A bit of friendship is more valuable to me than the admiration of of the whole world.) - Otto von Bismarck_

* * *

**Chapter 8 – Raven: An unexpected Encounter**

The _NORMANDY _arrived at the Citadel fifteen days later, at 0655 ship's time - past the reveille, but before breakfast. Our generous commander granted shore leave to all of us - whole thirty-six hours for her squad, which got us some envious looks and comments from the regular hands. But, frankly, they got twenty-four hours as well... and in my humble and completely objective opinion, we had earned those additional twelve hours with our blood... more literally than I'd like.

It may seem strange to some people, but I actually was a bit worried about leaving the ship. I had spent more than six or seven weeks in the iron belly of the _NORMANDY_, she more or less had become my home and a safe shelter from all the fighting we had been part of. Here I felt safe, falsely invincible against anything the galaxy threw against us, despite the fact that only a relatively thin layer of steel structure and armor separated us from the cold dark space around us.

The memories of the _NORMANDY'_s end at the start of ME2 distraught me more these days than I was willing to admit, even to myself.

On the other hand, after so much time trapped inside relatively small quarters I was anxious to finally being able to stretch my legs. The cabin fever was getting me, and the Citadel, the melting pot of the galaxy wasn't the worst place to enjoy a break. Almost two months worth of pay, plus risk and combat payment were waiting to be wasted.

Hey, there ain't much ways to spend money aboard a spaceship, y'know? Aside from losing it to Miller in Skyllian-V, maybe.

Speaking of the (dare-)devil, I must have made for an interesting sight when I entered the dressing room a few minutes after we reached the Widow Nebula, and saw him in his formal dress uniform for the first time.

It looked completely out of place.

And the fact that everyone else was dressing casually didn't help him either.

"Hey, mate, don't look at me like that." he said while trying desperately tried to fix said uniform. "Respectable soldiers wear respectable clothing when going on shore leave."

"Uh-huh." Was all I managed to bring out, and trying to avoid the conversation, I moved past him to my own locker. It was useless.

"Hey, I'm serious!" He gave me an incredulous look and pulled the sleeves straight.

I sighed and turned away. "I'm just going to skip everything else and ask ya a single question: Why?"

"Well. First, we still represent the Alliance Marine Corps even when off-duty, and I don't wanna ruin our professional reputation."

I opened my locker and saw jeans, light jacket and T-shirt. _Meh. Too bad._

Gordon, who was still assembling his kitbag sort-of bundle snorted. A twisted grin was playing on his features. Even he had shaved his beard. That was in itself an unsettling sign, as I had learned.

"Secondly, you're only allowed inside the _trés chic_ casinos when if you're dressing up well. Right, Mils?"

"Yeah, well, maybe that too." Miller answered, raising his hands in feigned innocence. "I wouldn't know about it, y'all know that."

Rolled eyes, chuckles and grins from the assembled six marines were his answer. The seventh one, Ashley, merely sighed and focused back on tying her boots.

"But, speaking of _chic_..." and at that Millers smiled somewhat smug, "Thirdly, a clean and kept uniform is proven to increase every man's RoC. Just sayin'."

While most of the men were chuckling or laughing, Danners and Ash merely exchanged tired looks.

"I'm just a little bit afraid to ask..." said Danners, her tone already suggesting resignation, "but, just for the record... what do you mean with RoC?"

"Rate of Chicks. _Ow!_"

I looked up just in time to see a protein bar ricocheting from Miller's head.

Ash appeared to be pleased with her aim with throwing weapons.

* * *

I saluted. "Private Second Class Jess Raven, reporting in, Sir. "

Kaidan looked up from his tray. It contained something that pretended to be a steak. "Get outta here. Have fun."

I grinned and went upstairs to the air lock. It was a bit of a shame that Kaidan wasn't coming with us. But all those flashing lights in the Citadel's 'party zone' would only trigger his migraine, and Kaidan wasn't that much of a party goer anyway.

A brief conversation with Joker and a still annoying decontamination cycle later, and I stepped on the Citadel.

I'll admit that the first thing I did was to lean against the dock's railing, pull a cig out of the package and light it up.

After more than five weeks, this first load of tobacco hit me like a brick. I leaned back and looked into the stars, dazzled by the sudden flood of nicotine in my system. I breathed and watched as the swaths flew off into the eternal night. It felt surprisingly good. And normal. As far as my situation could be described as 'normal'. Had it really been fifty days since I was here the last time?

I wiped my hair out of my face and grinned. Proof enough.

I thought back at what I - We - had achieved. Liara had joined our team, and impressed everyone (save for me, huh) with her pistol skills and extremely strong of the crew still thought of her as a potential traitor, but some, and I'd say the most important ones, considered her an asset to the team.

Only time would tell if she could fit in, but knowing the entire trilogy, I was understandably quite hopeful.

I coughed a bit, my body paying its tribute to the withdrawal.

After a few minutes, I stretched myself and walked away. I had one whole day to spent as I wanted. A great opportunity for every true fanboy. I considered all my options, and then, with a grin, I made my way to the lower wards.

I would need a haircut. And I remembered I still had a bet to redeem…

* * *

_A bit later, in the Lower Wards, and in another man's mind…_

A beeping sound interrupted my work. I put down the box I was carrying and looked at the small screen displayed on my omnitool.

_FROM: EASUM_

_TITLE: Your Friend_

_MESSAGE:_

_Noah,_

_You asked me to tell you when the guy that made the bet comes back. Guess what: He is here right now. You can come here if you want. Just make sure to get the job done tomorrow._

_Easum_

I responded that I'd be on my way and thanked him. I felt surprisingly calm, considering that what I was up to.

After putting the box I was carrying where it belonged, I looked around for my coworker.

"Hey, I'll be going for today. See you tomorrow."

Using these words, it took only a second or so for a turian to stretch his head into the gangway I was in.

"What about this delivery? We still need to sort through it. You can't-"

"I got permission by the boss. Just do as much as you can today. Don't worry, I'll start earlier tomorrow and will do the rest."

I had worked with enough turians that I immediately recognize the resigning look he gave me.

"Well, if you say so. See you tomorrow, I guess."

"Yeah, see you tomorrow." Keeping your buddies happy is important, so I added: "I'll buy you a drink tomorrow afternoon, when we're done - but now I need to get going."

I started walking towards the locker room of the small warehouse I was working in but got interrupted by my turian coworker again. He was a quite nosy one, I'd say.

"Where are you going anyway?"

"Oh, just meeting an old friend. Nothing important." _'Might only change the fate of the galaxy'_, I thought with internal sarcasm, but contained any sign of it.

"All right. Until tomorrow." I nodded, and we parted ways.

I entered the locker room, switched from my working uniform to my normal outfit (jeans, shirt and a jacket) and left the building. Only five minutes had passed since I got the message, but I couldn't afford to arrive late. So, while I avoided to run and draw attention on me, I was walking in a very fast pace, fast enough to convince the usual lowlife merchants around to keep me alone.

Every step I took was filled with anticipation, anxiety, and … well… a bit of swag. The lower wards were a bit dangerous, but act confident enough, and the thugs will stay clear. One of the many lessons I learned.

A few minutes later I entered a small bar. Easum recognized me immediately. He nodded towards a human that was sitting at one end of the bar counter.

I took a single look at that guy, and immediately felt my heartbeat going sky-high.

I managed to return a thanking nod and walked towards my fellow human.

He swiveled his whiskey in his glass and seemed to be lost in thought.

_Still the same fuckin' old drink_. My hands got sweaty and involuntarily started to shake.

I couldn't be sure though. I could only see his back.

I kept my distance for a few, thinking about how to approach him.

_Is it really him? How can I be sure? How is this possible? How can this be possible?_

Then he turned his head, and with a smile he addressed Easum.

"Yeah, barman? I'd like another one, please"

His voice was the last confirmation I needed - and the last nail in my figurative coffin.

I swallowed hard and took a look at the back of his head. Same color. But looked like cut for the military.

The absurdity of this whole situation came to my mind, and I remembered all the times we'd been sitting around, talking about this and that and Mass Effect.

I grinned briefly, and a large load lifted itself from my mind.

Easum, who followed my every single fuckin' move with his large black salarian eyes, decided to intervene.

"Sure. But I think there's someone who'd like to meet you."

He turned around and looked over his shoulders, his mouth open - knowing him, with a snarky remark on his tongue.

That froze on his features as he saw me. His steely blue eyes focused on me. His eyes were suddenly so set.

The whole situation was so freakin' _unreal._

I managed a meek smile, closed the distance and supported my arms on the table he was sitting at.

"Hey. Care to join me?"

Not something for the history books, I'll be the first one to admit it.

It was historical enough.

* * *

I don't remember how I felt that time.

It may be relevant for the historians, but I have to apologize - the influx of feelings was too overwhelming.

It couldn't happen.

There simply was _no fucking chance_ of that.

My own transformation into a Mass Effect char was already something I considered impossible.

But something even more unlikely occurred just in front of my eyes.

All I remember is that I followed him in some sort of an emotional state of shock, out of the bar, one or two streets, into a hidden side alley.

There I finally managed to speak.

Or something resembling actual speech.

"You. _You!"_

I croaked those two words, and the name of my friend somewhere in-between.

And all that _motherfucking bastard_ did was to grin.

"Yeah, It's me, alright."

"How? Why?"

"Look at yourself, and tell me."

We were speaking German, in our local accent.

I laughed loud and gave him a hug - and was incredibly relieved that he responded in the same manner.

This guy was my friend. Someone I knew for at least five years. Someone I considered a great guy. Someone I trusted in.

And on top,someone who was equally as fascinated with Mass Effect as me.

We spent quite some time laughing and talked to each other about no specific topic. It took us that time to calm down. It was good to finally be in really friendly company, not needing to keep things hidden like around the _NORMANDY_ crew. Talking in our language. Being able to share things. Not needing to keep up the act.

Finally, I chuckled and shook my head. "Really, You of all people. Not enough that I am here, no, someone thought it a good idea to send you here as well!"

He grinned and used his thumb to rub over his beard. He wore a full beard, just as I remembered, only that it had grown out a bit. "Yeah. I'm

"Wait." A thought hit me, and I looked at him with wide eyes. "Wait, do you think… there may be others around?"

He looked questioning.

"Well, like us?"

"I don't know. I haven't met anybody yet - no one I would notice, no Mass Effect char, nothing."

He shrugged. "I thought I was the only one here - that is, until I saw you when Shepard became Spectre." He grinned. "Was sitting in this very same bar."

What the fuck. My mind was clouded with questions, and the tension level in my body didn't felt good either. I pulled another cigarette from the package and bit into the filter, searching my pockets with a shaking hand.

He watched me, a slight grin tugging at the corners of his lips. "You're not wearing glasses anymore... but I guess some things never change, huh?"

I shook my head and lit up. "No reason to change, not with a cure for lung cancer being well known."

"Heh." I took a drag and tilted my head to the side to not blow the smoke in his face. He followed my gaze. Despite the hour - in the midst of most working shifts on the Citadel - this area of the lower Zakera Ward was filled with life. None of the passer-bys seemed to really care about us, though.

" 'Sides, every successful man has at least one vice, y'know?"

"Successful? You?"

I had to grin, but tried to look as annoyed as possible. I blew away another cloud and responded in English.

"We're at war… Nobody want's to admit it, but Humanity is under attack."

He smiled, but it was a rather weak one. "I'd argue that _Timmy_ is a insane coward, but okay."

I was in the midst of inhaling the nicotine as the shock hit me. I slowly exhaled, and looked up. _Fuck._ "Yeah. You're right." I bit on the cigarette butt, leaving a deep mark. "I hope that you've covered your tracks."

He snorted and rolled his eyes. "Oh,no, I forgot about that. What a shame. Got an interview tomorrow with that reporter bitch - Al-Jilani, right? About dimension hopping and shit."

"I'm serious, ya know."

"I know, okay." He rolled his eyes again and sighed. "I've stayed away form C-SEC and anyone who can put one and one together. Since you guys left the Citadel. I've been working here in the Lower Wards, made some friends with some of the smaller players around here. That salarian who's running the Mannovaian Star? Easum? He's been employing me as worker in his warehouse. Guess I got lucky."

I raised my brows. "No questions asked?"

He shrugged. "A few here and there. Think my cover-up so far has been working." He looked around, made sure that noone was listening, and continued more quietly: "How's it been on your end?"

I gave him a rundown - The week after my arrival. Joining the crew by 'saving' Tali. The training with Ash and on the Mako. The fight for the _ONTARIO. _The slaver base. Therum. And many of the small bits and pieces in-between, to round the picture.

He listened, with curiosity and interest, but quite some envy. When I was done, he sighed.

"Looks like you're in quite the adventure... shame I'm not with you. The sideline sucks."

My cigarette had almost extinguished itself while I was talking. I took one last drag and threw it away. _You didn't have to kill someone, mate._ When I spoke next, I couldn't keep a tiny chill out of my voice.

"Actually, I think it's good that one of us is not on the _NORMANDY_. I can't move wherever I want, and am under constant surveillance... you, however, have the entire Citadel as your playground."

"Yeah." He agreed, but didn't sound too happy. "I've spent the last couple of weeks setting some things up, but my options are quite limited without a passport or anything." He folded his arms before his chest, his mood matching my seriousness. "We both know that playtime will be over soon."

"You're talking about Virmire? Yeah, I've been thinking about that for quite some time now." Both Kaidan and Ashley had become my friends, sort of. It just wouldn't be fair to repay their kindness with indifference, especially knowing their eventual fates.

"That, but maybe even more importantly... you are aware that as soon as you all race for Illos, the Geth will try 'n tear this beautiful place to pieces?"

"That, and the _NORMANDY_ will be destroyed sometime after we're done... wait." I suddenly realized what he was after. "You're going to be right in the thick of it when the flashlights hits this place." The grim expression he wore was all I needed. "Fuck."

"Precisely. Chances are I'm done, if nothing happens." He looked up to me, his face a mixture of somberness and a small grin. "I think both of us know what we're going to do, right?"

I responded with a broad smile. "Fuck shit up and havin' loads of fun while doing that?"

He chuckled. "I wanted to say 'Saving the Galaxy from the Reapers while making sure everyone makes it, and having fun',but you're close enough. Maybe I can join you all in ME2. I'm already working out, you know."

"Trust me, you'll need it." It didn't even take much effort to show a terrified face. "At least you won't be put to the grinder like certain other people here." His hearty laugh was _Schadenfreude_ if I ever heard any.

"You keep laughing" I mumbled while typing in my omnitool. "Least I'm not the sidekick here."

"Last time I checked, Shepard was the main char."

I sighed, finished my writing and sent it to his tool.

He opened the file and looked at it.

"Drusus. A turian weapons merchant. His address." He looked up, eyebrows raised.

"That's the guy where I got my first gear." I confirmed. "And yeah, he doesn't give a damn about any paperwork, as long as you have the cash. Speaking of-" I pulled three chits from my pouch -

"here are roughly two thousand credits. Should be enough to get you some cheap basic weaponry."

He looked to me, more focused than I would have liked. "I don't need any cheap BS, man! You know what they're sending to the Citadel, right?"

"I know, but at least you can learn how to shot these damned things in the meantime!" I answered more aggressively than I meant to. I took a deep breath "And think about who's at the source for high-grade armors 'n weapons." I nodded. "Next time we're here, I smuggle some stuff off the _NORMANDY _– I mean, I can buy it from Postle and bring it to you. The requisition officer" I explained at his questioning gaze. He snorted.

"That turian fella has a shooting range and rents it for ten per hour. And there's an arena close by, and the guys there couldn't care less about who you are as long as you pay upfront. Should be all you need for a good start."

I tried to remember the name of that Salarian whose bunkhouse was my first base of operations. That reminded me of something else...

"You're not using your real name, are ya?"

"No." He shook his head. "Too dangerous, given that I had no idea what exactly got me here."

"Right." I gave him a blank stare. "You don't know anything about what the fuck happened there either, right?"

"That's right, sadly." To my amusement, he pulled a note from his sleeve – written on paper. "'If I've written it down correctly, I was at my desk back home, then there are some twelve hours missing – and then I was on the ground somewhere here. Actually, only half a click from here."

He looked up. "That, however, was more than eight days after you. I attempted to do the same thing as you, but I wasn't in the back alley in time. Guess how fucked up I felt."

I suppressed a grin. "Real case of _Glück Im Unglück*_ here, eh?"

"Ye." He shifted. "Anyway, no. Fake name it is. I guess it's reasonable to assume that you call yourself Jess Raven, right?"

I smiled. "You know it. Annoyed ya more than enough."

He nodded solemnly, took a step forward and offered a handshake. "_Noah Crobis_, at your service."

I burst out into laughter, which transformed into a coughing fit that took a good minute to calm down. "Alright. Where the hell...?"

"Easy enough. Take real name, take callsign, use a mixer, have an annoying black bird flying around in the back of my mind, _et voilá."_

"Crow-bite**."

"Shaddap."

"Never."

"I hate you."

"Why?" I answered, feigning a hurt expression. "Crow ain't the worst nickname, now is it?"

"I suppose you're right." He shifted again, "Alright, I'm Crow, for the time being." He looked at his feed when he then asked: "Now what?"

I reached for another cig. Not exactly the smartest thing to do, starting to chain-smoke right after

five weeks without, but well. "I dunno – yet. Wanna look for a way home?"

Crow snorted, and not just because my response sounded more than half-hearted. "I've thought about it, for quite some time. Lemme make it brief: No damn way." He sounded quite determined. "Not anytime soon, anyway. Just take a look around. Look at these freaking aliens around here. Think back home. Think back at what we've done back there. This is a chance we shouldn't have gotten in the first place, and I'm going to use it."

Just what I thought – seven weeks ago. I nodded and reached for my lighter. "In that case, we need to plan ahead. This is part one, the part where the original crew forms. Not much room to change things, less you wanna fuck up royally. I propose, however, that we should keep half an eye open for anything that might have gotten us here. Maybe we're the only ones; but if there others like us, we need to get them to safety before any of the bad guys here gets a grip on him – and there are plenty bad guys around."

"Sounds good." He nodded. "Your shore leave won't last forever, so let's get started."

* * *

We spoke for almost an hour. Always watching the street, always nervous that someone would actually listen in.

There was no bloody way that we could get Crow off this station. Not past the vigilant C-SEC; nor without putting my position aboard the _NORMANDY_ at risk. He had to stay behind and try to weather the coming storm; I promised to get him a gear of the best weaponry and armor I could find. Maybe, just maybe we could use the Geth attack to increase his standing or get him out in the open; a highly dangerous game, but one in which we used our hand the best way we could.

To stay in that picture, the stakes we were playing with were quite low for now. Crow had managed to get himself into a minor boss' good graces and had quite good chances of keeping himself there, from what he told me. At least for long enough that we could move him into a safer, less illegal one – but that would require preparation The threat of both Cerberus and the Shadow Broker was lingering on us, unspoken.

On my relatively safe position aboard the NORMANDY, I could 'feed' him with what he needed, at the same time we needed to keep the link inconspicuous. He agreed to use all the time had to train his own combat skills, trying to replace the quality of having a great instructor with more time. It was less than ideal, but it was all we could do.

It was not an easy task and we had to discuss many things, but once we we're done, we were quite certain that it actually could work.

Thinking back, I feel that that was the time were both Crow and I made our first draw in a game of chess, which results would have quite an impact at the galaxy at large…

* * *

"... I'd say, however, that we shouldn't make any plans for after ME one. Not yet."

I agreed, mostly. "We're not going to change any major things, maybe Virmire. _Hopefully_ Virmire. And we need all our focus to make sure that that doesn't go to hell. But still, both of us need to make sure that we don't let two entire years go to waste."

Crow nodded, slowly. "I see a few opportunities there. I mean, if this works out, you're going to be a fuckin' hero. You'll be able to rise a few ranks in the Alliance. That could keep you alive for long enough. And Dr. Chakwas managed to 'disappear' to Cerberus and return back to the Alliance without anyone noticing as well."

Hm... I was quite doubtful about my future in the Alliance, but I left it unsaid. Instead, I gave half a smile. "Technically, Chakwas will manage to change sides unnoticed in a year or so."

He cursed and shook his head. "Arrgh. It's fucked up to just think about it."

_As if anything here ain't fucked up. _I opened my mouth, but a familiar beeping sound interrupted me. I raised my left arm and saw that I had received a message-

_FROM: Staff Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko, SAMC_

_TITLE: Attention - Special Mission_

_MESSAGE:_

_PSC Raven,_

_Sorry for interrupting your shore leave, but you are needed for a special mission._

_Please report to Citadel HQ as soon as you're able. We'll brief you there._

_SLT Alenko_

I stared at the message.

"Something's up?" Crow asked, eyeing me with his arms still crossed in front of him.

"Yeah, I'm afraid we'll need to cut this off - Kaidan's sent me a message about a 'special mission' they need me for…" I looked up, slightly disturbed. "Any idea what mission he could mean?"

He looked at my tool and bit his lip. "Technically, quite a few side missions, but I can't see why Shepard would need you for one of them – her squad should be more than enough."

"Well, one way or another, I have to go." I pushed myself off the wall, deactivating the tool in the process. "Whatever that is all about - " at that I gave him a lopsided grin "- it's important enough to take me off my hard-earned leave."

"Yeah, by the looks of it." He left his place at the wall as well. "If that mail is genuine, there's no way they'll fuck you over. You better go, I'll see what I can do until you're back."

I offered him my hand. He hesitated just a second, then took it in what is commonly known as the bro shake.

"Stay in contact, alright?"

He nodded solemnly. "How?"

I sent him my mail adress via the omni-tool. "I'll contact you whenever we're in the area." Then I looked him straight in the eye, one last time. "Stay low, man. Anyone getting an idea who we are, we're done, especially with the Shadow Broker and Cerberus catching wind. Don't. Forget. That. This is our only chance."

He grinned a bit tired. "You don't need to tell me twice. I don't wanna end up on an operating table."

We left the side alley. "Good luck... Raven."

I turned my head to the side and looked at him one last time, analyzing him. He was broad-shouldered like me, maybe even more so, and his newfound daily routine had left him in a decent state. If he could keep that up, he would rival my gene-mod-boosted fitness in no time.

"You as well, 'Crow'. Let's fucking do this."

We nodded one last time and parted ways.

_Two pawns on a galactic board of chess..._

* * *

I breathed deeply. In, out, in.

He raised his pistol, pointing it at my chest.

I nodded, de-activated my shields and folded my arms behind my back.

He pressed the button and removed the safety.

I promised myself one last time not to flinch, not even to blink.

He stared at me, somewhat thoughtful. Then -

The muzzle flash, the loud bang, the impact of the bullet -

I flinched, blinked, _and_ breathed out.

"Welcome to the Arcturus Marines, Private First Class Raven!"

I looked to the ground, but felt my lips twitching as loud _Ooorah's_ came from the marines assembled in the _NORMANDY's_ cargo bay. I only looked up again when Kaidan stepped next to me, his pistol now holstered.

He took a palm-sized decal in his one hand, grabbed my right shoulder armor and adhered a single golden chevron, where previously a silver one had been.

I had to full-out smile now, and a warm feeling of pride and the knowledge to have accomplished something flow through me.

"Thank you, Sir!" I gave him a salute. He responded, then shook my hand and offered me a grin.

"Well done, Raven. You're one of us."

I grinned from ear to ear, as Millers, Danners and the others all came over and congratulated me.

My eyes wandered off to the squad, which was standing a few meter next to me. Wrex nodded, which I took as a sign of respect – and Garrus

"Looks like you're all grown up now, youngster." Gordon said with mischief in his eyes. His hand went into his uniform's pouch, and he pulled a small bottle from it to place it in my palm.

I first eyed the bottle, then Gordon somewhat suspicious.

The other marine laughed. "C'mon!"

I unscrewed the cap and brought it to my nose.

"Woah - Are you fucking serious?!"

"Yep." He smiled like a damned devil. "What? Too strong for our young one?"

That was a challenge I couldn't refuse - even if that schnaps smelled like cleaning petrol.

"Hey! A speech!" Shouted Miller from the second row and was accompanied by laughter.

Still grinning, I sighed in resignation, took a look around a brought the bottle to my lips. Luckily, it was only a shot.

"You're all goddamned motherfucking sons of bitches! Cheers!"

A loud 'Ooorah!' was their response.

* * *

The 'special mission' was a lie.

As soon as I arrived in Alliance HQ, a grinning Kaidan Alenko introduced me to a grim looking, elderly man with a bald skull and five chevrons on his shoulder - three upwards, two downwards. Operations Chief Viljoen. I had a feeling that I was in trouble.

And now, roughly 48 hours later, I knew exactly why.

It's said that when dogs bark, they don't bite. Well, apparently that was different for a Devil Dog. Viljioen was a veteran, one with a long record of service in the Alliance. A young private during the First Contact War. Discharged per request a few years after, settling down on Amaterasu. Reinstated during the Blitz, took part in the Torfan Raid, and since then reached the highest NCO rank in the Alliance. Only his lack of willingness to go through Officer Academy kept him from getting promoted even further.

He was a swashbuckled 'Old Dog' - that's how young marines affectionately called everyone with at least twenty years of service on them. I learned quickly that the 'Old Dog' still had quite the sharp tooth.

"Don't worry, I know him. He isn't that bad."

_Fuck you, Alenko_.

Ashley's training, as hard as it may have been for me the first time around proved to be invaluable once more. Never before had it been made that obvious that without her dedication, I would have been a dead man already – and for that, I owed her a lot.

I downed the swill, and coughed with tears in my eyes. I handed the glass back to Gordon who, still wore that _Schadenfreude_-grin plastered to his face. "Pure Elysium vodka, uncut, from my private stash..."

I thought about punching him, but I probably wouldn't have hit him with how everything was blurring in front of me. Instead, I shrugged in defeat and coughed some more. Holy mother, that shiat burned.

Back to that 'special mission': It was an elaborated ruse to corner me in Alliance HQ and force me to officially complete training. It was my final Marine Corps Recruitment Course. The last two days were basically a test on everything I had learned. I had to take my rifle apart, every single component, and put it back together. I had to do multiple fitness tests, leaving me breathless on my knees more than once. Shooting tests, both basic ones and the ones for a designated marksman. First aid exams, on humans and 'allied species'. Basic repair procedures for Mako, Navy vessels, and And finally, the _Königsdisziplin_: The Kill House.

I almost fucked it up in many of the courses, but managed to score decent scores in most of them as well. I upped my marksman rating to 2, earned myself the B1 for Marine, and got the basic zero-rating for medic, combat engineer and, surprisingly enough, sniper. I failed, however, to reach my personal goal - the N0. Then again, aiming too high wasn't new for me.

The Alliance Vocational Code ranges from 1 to 7; a 0 rating meant that the personnel in question showed some promise and could receive further training in that role. For example, Ashley was a B4 - at the same time however had multiple ratings in other roles as well, including a K3. Shepard's ratings were classified.

Whatever bureaucracy bullshit was behind those numbers and letters - combined with my actual deployments, they convinced the higher-ups to grant me a promotion. I had for all intents and purposes leveled up - and much faster than usual, in a bit more than one month instead of the usual six. I wouldn't say that I was better than average, however. The PSC was only meant to be a temporary rank anyway. I suspected a mixture of being deployed in an active war zone, and Shepard's and Kaidan's intervention.

Still, it felt good.

I shook some hands, traded a few jokes with my colleagues, and then Shepard was in front of me.

"Good work, Private."

Liara, Tali and Garrus followed in her wake, and only Garrus seemed to understand what was going on. It made me wonder what kind of initiation test the turians, where literally everyone serves starting with 15 years of age might have. Probably something even more badass.

As most of the marines and personnel left the cargo bay to resume their duties, Shep smiled, but looked quite worn out. I had learned earlier that she had talked to Rear Admiral Kahokou about the fate of his marines. Despite everything I had to endure (damn, do I sound whiny), I wouldn't have wanted to trade with her. Pressing a few buttons is one thing. Having to actually tell someone that all of his subordinates had become victim to a thresher maw, including that potential betrayal part, was another thing.

"Thank you, Ma'am."I gave her a lopsided grin. "I must ask, though: Was that really necessary?" I raised my hand to my chest and wiped a bit of ceramic dust from the armor.

"Tradition." Shepard said, amusement in her tone. "Did noone tell you why every recruit must run through this?"

I shook my head. "Something with building confidence and trust?" I offered.

"Amongst the soldiers? Yeah, that as well. But the main reason is this." She knocked lightly at my chestplate. "Wearing an armor makes people think they're invincible. As we – Humanity, I mean – developed better infantry armor, that led people to believe that these armors would make them invincible. During World War III, quite some people died because they forgot to take cover."

She looked to our resident aliens, who looked both intrigued and worried at the same time. Even Wrex was listening. "Well, our weapons got better as well... when we found the Prothean's ruins on Mars, the then-formed Alliance realized that the problem could get even worse, now that we even had barriers. Especially since we had no idea what guns we could be facing in the future. So they made this test mandatory for every single recruit."

"Trust your teammates to aim precisely, but know that they all are human – and trust your armor to protect you, but know it's limits." said Ashley, no doubt reciting some training manual.

Shepard nodded, suppressing a grin at the sight of Liara and Tali. At least one of them had positively the mouth gaping open. "Be glad. The first ones to do this were the French CTU GIGN, two hundred years ago. And _they_ did that with high-calibre revolvers and ballistic vests."

"That's ridiculous!" Liara looked positively shocked. "What if someone gets hurt?"

"Raven got out easy." Suddenly, Kaidan was next to them. He pulled the ammo block from his pistol and showed it to us with twitching lips. I narrowed my eyes as I saw the green-white marking. Hollow projectiles. Useless against armor... Training ammo. "I couldn't have pierced his armor if I had wanted to. "

"Thanks, Eltee." I said dryly, eyes fixed on that offending piece of carbon. "I felt good for around five minutes."

He flashed me a smile, one of those typical "Kaidan"-smiles that you see from him quite often in-game. "I can still use regular ammo, if you want me to. Punches your armor just as well. Could even penetrate, if you're unlucky."

"... On a second thought, I'm okay with it."

Shepard grinned – I pointedly ignored everyone else around me – and pointed me towards a few supply crates that were stacked up next to Postle's workbench. "By the way, there's the replacement gear I ordered. Take a look later, I think you'll like it."

"Aye-Aye." Her resignated reactions on my salutes never ceased to amuse me.

"Dismissed. See you at dinner."

And with that, she turned on her heels and went back to the CIC. Kaidan and Ash behind her; both of them knocking on my shoulder armor and wishing me 'fun with my new toys.'

Soon, the cargo bay was empty – save for the usual suspects. I stowed my possessions back in my locker, had Postle help me with getting rid of my armor, and walked to Garrus who was already working at our factory-new M-35 'Mako' APC that had only been delivered a few hours ago.

Just as I grabbed for the spray can to write our ship's name at the tank's flank, I heard the docking clamps disengage.

The _NORMANDY _was leaving the Citadel. Destination: Feros.

"See ya in a month or so." I mumbled. Then I plugged in my earphones, let my omnitool play 'Trust me, I'm an engineer' and went to work.

* * *

_The Citadel, Crow, three days earlier_

When 'Raven' and I parted ways, I didn't forget to return to the Mannovian and thank Easum before going home. He was only a small-time boss, but still my boss, and being on his good side was quite important for my safety. If I understood it correctly, he didn't have that much influence, but rumors had it that he was one of only a few elements that could link the Citadel's criminal underworld rather safely to Mannovian – one of the colonies that formed the heart of the Salarian Union.

Then I returned home – or what I called home here. A small one-room-apartment, cooking niche, very small bathroom, a bed, a working station, dresser. That was all. Not exactly luxury, but good for me. And C-SEC rarely came even close to this corner.

I dropped my keycard on the bed and walked to my dresser, from which I grabbed my smartphone.

People might think that with old tech like that, it would be extremely easy to hack and therefore unsafe to use. Funny enough, the opposite was true. Trying to hack that thing with an omnitool would inevitably fry the receiver, at the very least destroying all data or just outright blowing it up. Whoever wanted to read my private notes needed direct access, and that was not very likely to happen. The major problem had been to try and power it for the same reasons, but I found a workaround that would have probably sent every reputable IT-specialist running for the hills.

I turned it on. No connection. Not a surprise, really – at least I was able to use some of the more basic apps. I pulled up a note and the stylus from the phone's bottom and started to take some notes on the strange meeting I had just taken part in.

Sadly, they weren't as detailed as I would have liked. But at least we had something to work with.

I'd spent the last weeks forging plans and thinking possibilities, and compared what I had now with my older notes.

And my eyes stuck to one of the entries.

"_Are we even from the same universe?" _

I pondered on that entry quite a bit. I'm a huge nerd when it comes to time travel and stuff like that. I'm also a believer of the 'Multiverse' theory. And Raven's research just confirmed that theory, sort of. Unless everything was a dream. _But then I don't wanna wake up._

Ironically, it was Raven himself who confirmed my suspicion. And there things started to get screwed up. Because, was there any guarantee that he was even the one man I knew? He could have been from another universe, one that was close to mine... but, for example, with an altered code of ethics and morals. He could play along to screw me over later, selling me to save his hide, or, worst case, not even knowing me.

Luckily, at least the last bit wasn't true, and he didn't seem to have any distrust towards me. Or my alter ego from his dimension.

_This is so fucked up._

I sighed and laid down on my back, staring at the grey ceiling.

Logically, I had no reason to trust him.

I had no other options, though.

He was in a better position. He had made it into Shepard's squad, could provide me with the stuff I needed.

And, yeah, he was the only one I could talk with. I could share inside jokes, fourth-wall-breaks, that sorta stuff. Otherwise, I'm sure that I'd go nuts inside a month or so. Raven's better at suppressing those thoughts than I am. He can seemingly just ignore these oddities, accept them as reality and work with them.

It took me an entire day to, for an example, stop running around with my mouth open when I first landed. Knowing him, he may have recovered in under an hour.

I never was quite the 'social butterfly' type of person. Usually, after school, or after university, I was so tired that I'd hole up in my room, not wanting to talk to people for days. I didn't have a huge circle of friends. Just a decent few. I needed friends like that here. I mean, Easum was, for a gangster, a nice so were my co-workers. But I can hardly talk to them about being from 200 years in the past and that they were all video game chars, now could I?

A sigh escaped me. I stood up, hid my phone back in the pile of clothes and walked to the fridge from which I got myself a cool can of beer. I returned to my bed, sat down on it, rested my back against the wall and took a gulp. While it was of lesser quality than what I was used to drink, it was drinkable and got the job done.

Beer in hand, I proceeded to stare blankly into the air. I felt strangely underwhelmed. I had looked forward to, and worked for this encounter to happen. And now lots of things had changed. It all felt so... brief, though. Incomplete, something was missing. Or maybe I had just been too single-minded.

Now the waiting game started, nothing really interesting would happen here until the _NORMANDY_ came back. Then we would meet again, and might be able to proceed.

I closed my eyes and took another sip. _Well, we will see what comes, and deal with it_. I was out of action for some time now – and I would use that time to the best of my abilities. Because between one and two, there was a two-year-gap to deal with. I made me shudder to just think about living in the ME universe for years. It was a mixture of a lot of worries, but with a great deal of anticipation involved.

_Time for a toast, huh?_

A grin formed on my face.

Because one thing was certain: It wouldn't be the most boring two years of my life.

I rose the can above my head and said to some imaginated drinking buddy:

"To the _NORMANDY_! To Shepard! And to the coming fun times ahead!"

I downed the rest of the can in one go, threw it into the garbage can and recollected my thoughts. Then I went to bed.

After all, I still had to sort through Easum's 'delivery' early in the next day.

And, well, there's nothing like a bit of routine to keep yourself grounded.

That was sarcasm, okay.

* * *

_**A/N:** _

_*German equivalent to 'blessing in disguise'. Literally, it would mean "Luck in bad luck"._

_**Small and stupid joke on my part: Crobis – Crow-Biss – Biss, German word for bite. A crow's bite.  
_

_I'm not dead. I hate writing dialogues. And I'm not alone anymore - Crow, also known as** Armnorn**, has officially joined the struggle. Now the fun part starts. _

_Hope this somewhat compensates for the lack of updates in recent times - and as I stated multiple times: This story will be done. _

_Until next time - hopefully faster than this time around ;)_

_And, as always, a big shoutout to** 5 Coloured Walker** to Beta'ing!_

_P.S. Last edit 9.8.16 - fixed a few minor mistakes in wording. _


	14. Nine - UNC: Cerberus

_**Disclaimer**: I (still) don't own Bioware; nor any of the assets used in this story. If I would, I would be writing this story, Cuba Libre in hand, on some hammock in the Caribbean instead of being stuck in European autumn chill with a bloody grog to stop my nose from being runny._

* * *

"_**No beast is more savage than man when possessed with power answerable to his own rage." **__\- Hannibal Lecter_

* * *

**Chapter 9 – UNC: Cerberus**

I lifted the rifle from the table and weighed it. Then I raised it and aimed into the air. Content with the current settings, I lowered it again and looked to the woman standing at my side.

Ashley leaned against her bench, had the arms folded in front of her and nodded approvingly. "Looks decent. So the two-zero-ex sight, you say?"

I nodded my agreement. "Great for medium range, good enough for close range. 'Least, that's what the guys upstairs 've been saying. And I like the red dot."

"You can't tell that just yet." she warned me. "Picking up a sight is fine, but it takes quite some time on-range to know if it's really good for you."

I murmured an agreement, but in reality focused more on field-stripping the weapon to the core. Of course Ash was right. But everything about the sight felt _just right_ and _comfortable_, for the lack of better words, after aiming down sights a few dozen times. Only a test in the actual field could help me now, and then there were other thing about my rifle I had to keep an eye on. I only had it for like twelve days, and was still trying to get to know it well enough, but the results were extremely promising.

I didn't understand why the Lieberschaft Mark 96 'Mattock' Battle Rifle was ever retired from active duty to begin with. Well, okay, I can see why a battle rifle is less useful under the current Alliance combat doctrine, than an assault rifle... but a) the Marine Corps had quite a lot of marksmen in their ranks, b) the average marine was running around with four weapons anyway and c) quite some veterans were still very fond of their 'plate crackers'. That nickname went all the way back to the First Contact War, where the Mattock's firepower and precision proved to be one of the most deadly weapons of a humanity which technology was still far away from the standard of the Council races.

My Mattock wasn't quite that old, but still had a solid decade under its mantle. It was one of the last rifles that were delivered to the Marine Corps, and had never seen any combat – once on the Citadel, it had been put directly into the depot, in the reserve, and stayed there for all the time. And so, as I opened the crate, the first thing I smelled was a mixture of metal, oil and a bit of grease. Then I saw the plain white and black, and immediately fell in love (again) with the bullpup-like design.

"You do a good job, and you can keep it when you're discharged", Shepard had said with a grin. As such, I already regarded it as my rightful property. It only lacked a bit of customization. And a nicer paint job.

Ash sighed. "Since you're busy anyway, I'll grab something to drink. See you at oh-nine hundred."

I nodded towards here, then returned my attention to the working bench. The clicking of magnetic boots went quieter, but someone in armored boots stepped next to me instead. I turned and looked into a pair of eagle eyes, for once not covered by a holographic visor.

"Sooo." Garrus drawled. "This is the famous 'turian-killer' Corporal Miller was talking about."

I groaned. "If that guy is givin' you shit, I'll let Kaidan know."

"You don't need to worry, it was not like that. We just had a professional conversation about the concept of battle rifles during the last dinner."

"I can see Miller would do everything for not having to pay attention at the food." I said while using the screwdriver to fix the casing. I had missed last dinner. Was busy modifying stuff. A protein bar had to be enough.

"At least you don't have to live on nutrient paste here."

"True that." I turned again and saw him still mustering the rifle. "Wanna try it out?"

He thought for a second, then flared his mandibles. "Sure, why not?"

I brought up my left hand to my ear to activate my communicator and raised the right one to activate my omnitool. I dialled our XO.

"_Pressley here. What's the matter, Private?"_

"Sir, requesting permission for firing a rifle. Cargo bay, training ammo only."

"_Granted. Make sure those are indeed training rounds."_ He ended the call, and I nodded gravely into thin air.

One member of the marine detail – I didn't know, who – had accidently used live ammunition during a shooting range session two days back. It caused a ship-wide alarm – of course during my sleep shift, it wouldn't have been fun otherwise – and the marine was heavily berated by at least XO Pressley and Kaidan. Considering that under bad circumstances, the ricocheting round could have hit the drive core, I was fully with them.

I picked up the rifle, checked the ammo – it _was_ training ammo – and handed it to Garrus. He weighed it and inspected it from all sides.

"It is heavier then I would have thought."

"Yeah. From what they told me, they intentionally made it so the recoil is easier to control." I took a step back and crossed my arms in front of me with a grin. "Ash even wants me to install a heavier barrel. But I think it's heavy enough as it is." At roughly five kilograms plus another half kg for the ammo block, the Mattock was a bit heavier than a usual 20th century battle or marksman rifle. Any more weight, and it would have been problematic to use without bipod. Not to mention that I had to carry it.

Garrus bowed his head slightly forward, activated his visor, and brought the rifle to a ready. It wasn't exactly comfortable - the stock, adjusted to me, pressed into his armor - but it worked.

"Attention! Weapon ready!" I shouted, and everyone in the bay took a few steps back.

He aimed for a large crate, roughly eight meters away close to the cargo bay lock. It was filled with scrap and other useless ballast; stuff we would space soon enough. For now, we had painted a humanoid figure on it and used it for target practice.

He aimed down sights, inhaled -

The Mattock sounded characteristically powerful, the sound waves echoing back from the _NORMANDY_'s steel walls.

The turian took another breath, then fired another three rounds in quick succession.

After all was said and done, he nodded and gave my rifle back. "Impressive." Was his dry comment, as I let the barrel retract, put the now-folded Mattock back on the working bench and walked over to inspect his work.

Four thumb-sized holes were spread all over the targets 'chest', one of them effectively cut the throat in half. The training-ammunition was hollow and made from a very soft alloy - an alloy that had only a very light magnetizability. That reduced the ammo's muzzle velocity by a great deal and from what they told me, the combination of soft metal, hollow rounds and low speed made it an ideal type of ammo for short-range shooting. Seeing the holes it made into the steel crate, I wasn't so sure about it being much less dangerous, though. If the target had been an unarmored human, only one of these hits would have effectively slit his throat wide open.

"Yeah, I think I'll have quite some fun." I said with a small grin. "The only problem I'll have to deal with is that the center of mass is a bit higher than with my former rifle. But if you'll show me how it's done, then I might be able to make it work."

He nodded in understanding. "Will do. That shouldn't be a problem - the sway is still less than with sniper rifles, or any long barrel." He flared his mandibles. "I wonder why the Hierarchy hasn't come up with this role. Considering we were the ones that first came up with the concept of precision rifles... Except of course the Asari, but they don't fight like an army."

I looked to him in interest. "You guys have no designated marksmen?"

He shook his head. "Every Turian soldier is expected to be as precise as possible. The better you are, the more powerful rifles you will be issued, but nobody gets specially trained for the job. The best shooters are granted access to the best rifles, and support the rest of the unit from behind the main frontline. I think this is similar to what you human 'marksmen' are doing… so, effectively, we separate between skill levels, like you humans do with marksman, sharpshooter and expert rifleman, but we don't separate between the roles."

I was a bit astonished. "How come you know more about our human stuff than I do?"

He flared his mandibles again, this time in amusement. "Well, I don't want to brag, but I _am _an expert marksman. One of the best of my unit. And, actually, have taken part in joint training missions with the Alliance. "

_No bragging, huh_. I suddenly had the "reach and flexibility" in my mind and forcefully pushed it away.

Before I could respond to that, our Commander called us over the intercom. _"All members of my squad, please report to the comm-room within the next fifteen minutes. We have a change of plans."_

"A 'change of plans'..." Garrus drawled, looking to the Mako. "Do you have an idea?"

"Nope." I shrugged. "I don't like the sound of it." We had been travelling from the Widow nebula towards Feros, in the Attican Beta cluster, and had arrived in the Hades Gamma cluster a day ago. We were scheduled to arrive at our target destination in four additional days… so any major change of plans would delay us even further, potentially putting our mission objective at risk. "Must be very important."

"It better be!" Wrex' loud voice from behind me startled me. He had been at his crates for the last three hours, but not made any noise, so I actually forgot about him. He pushed himself from his leaning position, and stomped towards the elevator. "I'm tired of doing nothing!"

I merely stared at him, before Garrus gave me a small nudge and a look, as if he wanted to say: Don't bother, it's useless.

I nodded meekly and hurried to follow him and Wrex to the comm-center.

* * *

Two days later, we hit dirt.

As the Mako came to a standstill, I readjusted my balaclava, and made sure that the breather mask was in place before attending to my screens.

Binthu was no place to joke around with. While the atmosphere pressure was okay, the temperature levels were around ninety degree Celsius, plus an atmosphere that was made up of carbon dioxide with the occasional toxic and acid rain involved. The seemingly hollow, very pale moon didn't really improve the dark and uncomfortable feeling I got. Not that my feelings mattered in any way.

We were there to wake sleeping dogs.

A certain three-headed _bitch_, more specifically.

I looked briefly to the rest of the Squad. Wrex on the cannon, Kaidan on the engines, Tali and Liara as cargo.

A look to the blue sort-of-woman next to me caused me to grimace, which was luckily invisible due to balaclava and glasses, as always.

Liara seemed to have serious problems adjusting herself to the planetfall. She had turned a much lighter shade of blue and looked positively ill. Ill enough for me to wish that in her stead, we had brought Ashley... She and Garrus had stayed behind this time around, though. Ash was not yet fully cleared for combat (the wound received on Therum had caused an infection), and Garrus wasn't feeling too well either. A mild turian version of a cold. As it stood, I was substituting him as marksman. And all things considered, it was good for Liara to gain as much experience with the squad as she could. Even the part where we all fell victim to _APCickness femshepardia_.

It was only a few days detour from our original route to the Cerberus research base of Binthu. Just enough for me to know that Shepard considered them a threat. Enough to delay our arrival at the mission-critical objective Feros. A good sign for me. Pictures of the Cerberus I had seen in part two and three haunted me these days.

More and more, I felt uneasy. I felt that I couldn't stay in my comfort zone forever. I am not referring to the fact that I foresaw a lot of bullets flying my direction, for the future… seeing who I was travelling with, I pretty much considered that a given right from the start. But with every mission we accomplished, and especially ever since I met 'Crow', I began to worry more and more about my own standing - and the future.

It was easy to identify myself with the mission. It kept my mind at ease. Just being one of the cogwheels. Dramatic, I know, but I like the picture. I was just working in the machine, making sure that the story progressed…

I just wondered how Cerberus would react to me two years later. Or maybe more pressing - within the upcoming two years.

With Crow on the field, we had actually a chance to make things better. I couldn't risk to screw that up.

* * *

"That's it! Tower down!"

I shouted that message across the Mako and into the comms.

That was the third time. Twice already, we had played the same game - dancing around the rocket turrets defending the Cerberus bases.

For the third time, Shepard gave the order to get out and storm the castle. Our boots hit the dirt, we ran out of the open and lined up at the entrance. Tali's hacking skills got us in, and together, we advanced through the airlock into the narrow small entry hall, filled with crates and metal. Spartan.

"Looks like the other two bases… exactly like the other two."

Kaidan's dry analysis was on point, but not really needed.

"Don't let that fool you. There may be a trap that the other two bases didn't have. Stay on your toes!", warned Shepard. As usual, she was taking point. I was in the rear, pointing my rifle above Shepard at the ceiling, watching out for any type of bad surprise.

It was an established routine now. My light armor and semi-automatic rifle designated me for the backline, from where I was able to deal loads of damage while taking the least fire in return. The rest of my 'skill set', as I ironically called it, was just right for the 'waterboy role'. Literally, as I still carried an additional bottle of water with me.

On the other hand, I was only carrying two weapons now - my Mattock, and an upgraded pistol. Ashley and I had given up on me carrying a shotgun, and with the marksman rifle, a sniper rifle was quite expendable, although I still occasionally trained together with Garrus.

That freed me up to carry other things. And as such, my chest carrier and my belt were filled with other gadgets and gear. Stuff like a First-Aid-Kit, or a reserve breather mask, or some omnigel. Or my 'signature weapon' - the Molotov Cocktail, now a full-fledged Incendiary Grenade.

I lined up behind the squad and used the small pause to knock briefly at all parts of my equipment, just making sure that everything was ready. Molotovs - check. Pistol - check. Knife - check. Medigel, shield generator, flashbangs…

I looked briefly at the newest addition to my arsenal, and grinned.

_Shepard was damned right. Stunningly effective, those stun grenades._

_You are around Joker far too often, 'Raven'. For you own sanity, and the sanity of everyone around you. _

* * *

Ten days ago, Shepard had finally decided to invest some of my 'skill points' into a new 'ability'.

Seeing how I got more confident with my role and position, she decided that now would be a good time to further specialise me to 'rearguard/marksman/support specialist'.

She personally took over with my training. Multiple workout sessions with full armor and rifle. Specialised shooting range tasks. Many practice hours throwing fake grenades, enough to make both of my arms hurt. But also continuing to learn from Dr. Chakwas, how to keep people alive.

In short: We had left the basics and went on to the specializations, to the fine-tuning. (At least that's what I told myself in order to not feel that inferior anymore, compared to my squadmates.)

And: Under all the crates and packages that had been delivered to the _NORMANDY_ as part of our fresh supplies from the Alliance HQ on the Citadel, there was one crate, looking quite similar to the one with Shepard's HE grenades and mods in it. There was a large lightning painted on it, and I was only allowed to open it under Ashley's and Shepard's watch. Ash was just as flabbergasted as I was, though. I immediately recognized the design - it hadn't changed at all in the last 150 years.

"Commander, are those actual _flashbangs_?" Ash had asked, unbelievingly weighting one of the black-yellow cylinders in her hand.

"Yes, Williams, those are a hundred Alliance issued Hahne-Kedar Mk 4 Stun Grenades, delivered directly from the N-school." Shepard had confirmed, watching the other woman and me with a small smile. "Just what we need to get inside enclosed positions and to breach through even the toughest of defences."

"I thought these things are only delivered to special operations teams?" The regular M-code marines were never issued any special grenades, just regular frags, and even those only occasionally. Too much risk aboard ships. And probably a questionable decision at command level.

"Well, I_ am_ an N7." Shepard grinned mischievously. "And what I do with them, AllCom doesn't need to know. 'Sides, I think we do qualify as a spec-ops-team. We are special, and we conduct operations." After that surprisingly sarcastic argument, Shepard turned to me, changing to seriousness. "Raven, you've been doing quite well in these last missions. I trust you to put these flashes to good use."

She then proceeded to personally show and teach me how to use those flashbangs effectively. The Commander took that training very serious. To the point where she made everyone leave the cargo bay and made me use live flashes - the risk of causing fire or other actual damage was completely erased with the new models. And later, she even asked me to blind myself with one of these things - so that I would know just how effective they were. Who was I to say No?

Even though I threw it to the far end of the bay and only looked at it from the corner of my eye, I was blinded for roughly ten seconds, the ringing stayed in my ears for the next ten minutes, and the afterimages stayed the entire day.

Another lesson learned. Always stay in cover, when throwing that thing.

* * *

The flash bangs had really proven effective when raiding the Cerberus bases. They were 'old tech'; tech that had somehow and surprisingly fallen out of the public mind. Still in use by special forces - reliable, durable, effective and efficient. And, surprisingly, almost unknown to non-humans - most likely due to a strongly different military history.

I liked that idea.

A well-aimed (*cough*) flash had eliminated all risk when we pushed through the first base's corridors. The Cerberus agents on Binthu were fanatic enough to not even try to surrender, and so, we took them out.

In this base, we had the Rachni Warrior. It unsettled me, but we were busy enough taking out the Cerberus soldiers and research technicians. A lucky bullet hit the console and unleashed that thing. The Cerberus guys took it out quickly, but in the meantime we had moved in and had gained the upper hand, taking what was left of them apart. I don't think anyone realized just was that bug was, though, before it was disintegrated with incendiary ammo. We had time for that realization on Noveria - later down the line.

The second base contained Thorian Creepers. But only I recognized them for what they were. Basically, the entire mission was us killing people and me trying not to prattle away.

And actually, this time, we unleashed them deliberately. When we entered the main laboratory, Cerberus tried to hold their ground. A useless effort - but it gave Tali the time to rush for the containment field controls, and shut them down. The following, very gory and splattery scenes, don't need to be described in detail.

What troubled me a bit, was that watching their sniper dying from acid and getting torn apart by a creeper's claws didn't trouble me that much...I wasn't sure if that was a good thing, or worrying if seeing people die like that didn't bring me out of my emotional balance anymore.

I settled for "good thing". I would need a good stomach for the Reaper War.

And now, the local Cerberus forces made their last stand in the third base.

I was anxiously awaiting – dreading - to see Kahoku in person.

* * *

Shepard opened up the door and entered, the squad in her back, securing all angles.

There was no guessing game involved in finding the holed-up Cerberus forces. They were clearly visible on our HUDs. None were even remotely close to the door.

We used the force field in the laboratory as cover. Shepard leaned around the corner, and that was where Cerberus started shooting.

"Raven!"

I nodded, pulled the pin and threw the flash around the corner. The loud bang sounded, we spread out and returned fire. The Cerberus forces were caught off-guard, one of them tumbled into my sight. His shield was already depleted.

The red dot connected with the centre of his chest. I fired twice.

The chest plate of a human armor usually sports the thickest layer of plating. That didn't matter, though. The high-calibre rounds tore two large holes, shattered the ribcage and dealt critical damage to lungs and heart.

He was sent flying on his back and only shivered briefly before going limp.

I hid behind cover, Kaidan unleashing his biotics right next to me, and took a breath. Only few bullets came my way, the squad was overwhelming Cerberus in no time.

I noticed movement from the corner of my eyes, and looked to my left – there was the barrier, simmering blue – and behind that, a fucking bug looked straight at me.

The problem was... the barrier ceased to exist.

With an unearthly scream, the once contained Rachni workers attacked everything in their sight.

The one before me jumped at me.

My enhanced reflexes allowed me to shove that fucking thing away.

Then it exploded.

Something poured down on me.

I screamed, first in surprise...

Some of the stuff splatter on my glasses.

Then I heard it hissing.

It felt hot. My face. My hands...

_Acid!_

I panicked fully, fell to the ground, tried to somehow get that stuff from me.

"Raven!"

I tried to tear the glasses away – they were caught -

Someone dragged me behind cover, helped me removing my breather mask.

My eyes were wide open, but the acid limited my view extremely. Only one eye was able to see anything at all, so it took me a while to recognise Shepard.

Her face was a mask.

"Liara, help Kaidan! Wrex! Make sure they're dead. Tali- Tali! _Focus_!"

Shep's voice was far too cool for my liking. I can't say though, if she was angry or just efficient.

"Help me here! Raven? You okay? Can you hear me?"

I nodded. That was all I could do.

"Calm down, boy, calm down. Don't move, lay still."

I did calm a bit and focused on regaining control over my breathing. In the meantime, Tali appeared in my field of view. She shivered violently.

"I'm- I'm sorry!"

"Tali, give me a hand here -"

"I only, I -"

"TALI!"

Shepard had snapped at Tali. She had snapped. _At Tali._

"We'll talk later. Calm down, Girl. Help me. Remove his gloves."

The quarian looked shaken. Something must have gone really wrong.

No shit.

I only watched as far as I was able, and kept still. Shepard took a few, fast looks, then pulled my knife from my thigh holster and held it to my cheek. With a few strokes, she cut my glasses loose, and then tore them away before doing the same to my balaclava. A cold wave of air hit my did as told, but with her shiver, it took her ages. Shepard only needed a few seconds to remove the second glove. Then she looked me over.

"Only surface. No flesh hit." Shepard looked at me, the slightest twitch in the corner of her mouth. "You got a _fuckton_ of guardian angels, you know that, Raven?"

I opened the clasps keeping my helmet in place, and tossed it a few feet away, before sprawling on my back on the ground. Then I opened my mouth. Which did cost a surprising amount of energy. "Shep... what the fuck? _What the motherfuckin' shit just happened?_"

"Hey, pull yourself together. Was just an accident. A damned accident, if you ask me. It's alright." She patted me on the shoulder, breathed noisily and looked at someone stepping closer. I recognized Liara supporting Kaidan, who clutched his left side. "You alright, Eltee?"

He groaned. I saw that his suit had taken severe damage. The Lieutenant had removed his shoulder armor's exterior layer – most of the polished, black ceramic plating were gone, exposing the night-blue 'fall-back' layer. And even there, a few holes showed.

I was somewhat lucky that he had been to my left, and had taken the brunt of the hit. On the other hand, I felt myself shivering at the thought of the full amount of acid hitting me. That shit had burned through the armor plates faster than Kaidan, the experienced SpecOps-Marine, had been able to drop them.

He removed his hand from his side, exposing a thick layer of light-blue medigel – and a big and fringy hole in the thigh plating.

"Acid burns, superficial. Don't feel well, but I'll manage." He looked down to me, grimacing.

I merely looked up, and felt tired. I only shook my head, to which he nodded in understanding.

"Raven and I can't extract right now," He said aloud. "Our gear is totalled, Commander."

Shepard bit on her lip, then nodded and raised the hand to her ear. "_NORMANDY_, this is Shepard – Pressley, all tangos in the mission area are eliminated. Doctor Chakwas on stand-by, we got multiple wounded." She turned her glance to the side, her mimic turning to stone. "We've found Admiral Kahoku. He's down. We'll attempt to revive him. Chances are... slim."

"_Understood, Commander. Pressley out."_

I followed her glance, and saw someone in dress blue on his back, on the ground. I suddenly was chilled to the core.

Liara and Garrus were over him, scanning him. They looked hopeless.

Kaidan reached out with his good arm. I took his hand – it felt strange, without a glove – and he pulled me up. I looked around. Corpses, blood and acid every-fucking-where. I couldn't even feel sick anymore.

I picked up my helmet and followed my squad mates into the centre of the room, dodging bug grime and acid pools, and then looked down onto a human corpse.

Kahoku looked surprisingly well. His body was well-preserved, no signs of decomposing. No obvious injuries, no bullet holes, no acid had hit him. That was all that was well about him, though. The face was so damned bloodless, looking like made from wax. And those eyes... his eyes looked...

They had no life in them. They were broken. I stared into them for a long time, unable to to look away. That image still haunts me today.

Kaidan looked to me once more, nodded to Shepard and kneeled next to Kahoku. He moved as if nothing happened, suggesting a high dosage of omnigel and some painkillers. I felt my legs grow weak and sat down, leaning myself against one of the containment field controls.

I felt someone heavy stepping next to me, and looked up. Wrex. He just leaned into the console, watching what happened in the middle.

Kaidan raised his gaze to meet Shepard's. His voice was calm, but professionell-chilled.

"Admiral Kahoku is dead. No pulse. Revival attempts have failed."

He looked down again, closing the dead man's eyes. "No obvious trauma. But, rigor mortis aside, he appears to have suffered strong cramps before his death. Fine restraint marks at wrist and knees. And then, there's that."

He pointed onto the Admiral's arm. Shepard bowed down to take a closer look.

"This looks like a needle mark. He got executed."

Kaidan nodded. "The _rigor mortis_ is already beyond its peak. With the poison that was obviously used, it is impossible to pinpoint the exact time of his death – but I would say he died between forty and sixty hours ago."

Shepard bit her lower lip and folded her arms. "Unless Cerberus has something faster than our _NORMANDY_, it is unlikely that Cerberus has held him captive for long. They must have gotten him very soon after he transmitted us this location. The question is... why bringing him here the first place?"

"They must have attempted to question him, Commander, maybe figure out whom he transmitted to." Garrus said. "Maybe they kidnapped him when he was still on the Citadel. I know how C-SEC works, and it is _not _difficult to get inside information."

The Commander shook her head. "We won't figure out by guessing. Garrus, Tali, check their data storages. Find out what you can. Liara, come with me. We're getting EVAC-suits from the Mako. Raven and Alenko can't leave this place in their current state, the atmosphere of this _shithole_ of a planet would kill them. Kaidan, you and Raven, help each other. Prepare Kahoku's remains for transportation. We're not leaving him here. Alliance frigates will need a few days to come here, I don't want to give Cerberus the opportunity to wipe all evidence. We will get his body to his family, give him a proper burial. Wrex, scavenge whatever you can. Check the lockers too. Watch for booby-traps."

A few _Aye-Aye_'s and other confirmations sounded. Shepard raised her arm again.

"You alright, whelp?"

I looked up to Wrex, surprised. He still looked intimidating, but he sounded pretty calm.

"I'm okay... somewhat."

He snorted, gave me a long gaze and walked to the dead Cerberus operatives.

I remained silent, with no idea on how to respond to that. I grabbed after my rifle, found it on my back - I didn't remember putting it there - and picked up my helmet.

I stared down on the black paint. A small few drops of acid had splashed upon it, leaving a few holes here and there. I was tempted to touch them, but touching the acid without even a glove wasn't exactly the smartest idea. Instead, I found a scar, and traced it.

With omni-gel, I had managed to patch it up, but the bullet the slaver-sniper had sent against my helmet had still left its mark. Only a ricochet. A direkt hit would have killed me.

I looked to the side. The Cerberus soldier I had killed still lay there. My bullets hadn't penetrated the backside of his armor, he was not lying in a pool of blood. He still held his rifle, but with Death taking him, his finger had lost hold on the grip.

I felt empty.

Then Shepard began to speak. I looked up and saw her back, one arm raised to the head, the other one akimbo.

"_NORMANDY_, this is Shepard. Rear Admiral Kahoku is confirmed dead. Repeat; Kahoku is _Delta Oscar Alfa._* Friendlies have taken damage. Prepare pickup at the following coordinates..."

* * *

I sat in the Mako, feeling very uneasy.

There were two causes for that. First, the additional suit I was forced to wear.

The Alliance EVAC suit closely resembles a hazmat suit, and effectively serves the same purpose – keeping hostile influences away from the living being, to put it in general terms. Only that these hazmat suits were specialised for personnel working or fighting on hostile words, with mine tailored to be worn above light infantry armor.

It was necessary. The damage the acid had dealt to mine and especially Kaidan's armor was too substantial, even to guarantee a safe walk to the Mako. The suit gave us the ability to move in hostile territory

To be on the safe side, Shepard had decided to do two runs with the Mako, bringing out half of the team at once. We were on the first trip – we, which were Shepard as driver and Tali, Kaidan and me as cargo.

The three of us were sitting in the transport compartment. It was a simple delivery run, no one was needed on any post.

Second – the corpse in our mid.

We had put the Admiral's remains in a bodybag – the Mako always carried a few – and, for the lack of another suitable place, put it into the cargo compartment as well.

I was a memory that made me shiver. The fact that I hate being around corpses actually only played a small part in it, or that I had to move a lifeless body.

When putting his remains in the bag, all I kept thinking was –

"_You know? It's your fault he's dead. And you knew it before. In fact, you accepted it without much resistance. You called it necessary, didn't you?"_

I stared down. The blue fabric obviously concealed the features, but the human shape was undeniable.

It _was_ my fault.

I knew this would happen.

I had ample opportunities to stop it from happening.

I had resisted against interfering into the story. Messing with anything Cerberus-related could seriously fuck up ME2 and 3. _Too much risk._

And now I stared at the contours of Rear Admiral Kahoku's face and asked myself if it was worth it.

It was unsettling. My field of view was severely limited with the transparent plate concealing my face, Kaidan was in his suit next to me, and Tali sat across. She looked pretty timid.

"I... I am sorry."

I looked up, finally forcing my gaze away.

"What for?"

"It's my fault you are like... this..."

I gave her an incredulous look, which was barely visible. Kaidan beat me to it.

"No, it's not. "

His voice was muffled by the suit. Tali' made an attempt to answer, but the Lieutenant didn't let her.

"Yes, you did deactivate the containment field. But you didn't know that one of these bugs was right next to us. You couldn't know that they would explode, or that they were filled up with acid."

The face-plate turned into my direction. I nodded.

"You made a mistake in the decision-making, so what?" I added. "I dunno how many mistakes I've made so far."

"And we're all still alive to learn from them." Finished Kaidan. With that, he leaned back against the wall.

I wasn't sure if he had noticed anything. I claimed to be a former street gangster. I should be used to be surrounded by corpses, if what I had read about the streets of the megacities on Earth – the ones that were ruled by gangs - was true. I started to notice just how against my background I acted at times.

Tired and uncomfortable as I felt, for now, I could only hope that I was avoiding anything that could raise further suspicion. And that the points I had earned so far would block any questions for long enough to raise me above all suspicion. I knew very well that I gambled.

"Seriously, Tali, don't worry that much." I said to the girl, and grinned despite not feeling like it. "The Eltee and me were too close to that hazard. We came out without serious injury. That's all. End of story."

"What you just said, Raven. What you just said." He said, sounding sleepy. The painkillers were starting to show their side effects. I felt to uneasy to give in to the sleep. We still had a visit with Dr. Chakwas scheduled for us. Tali looked at us, then nodded slowl. Her body relaxed just a bit.

I was tempted to follow Kaidan's example - but when I leaned back, the tip of my boots came into contact with the body in front of me, sending strong shivers down my spine.

And so, we returned to the _NORMANDY. _We had found extensive data on their research. Scientific BS, not mine to decipher. There was only one bit that was important to me -

Nepheron. Columbia system. Voyager cluster.

Cerberus' main base of operations for Mass Effect One.

I had no idea if there would be consequences in number two. I just knew that I wanted those fucking dogs dead.

* * *

**_A/N:_** *_NATO alphabet; Delta Oscar Alfa - DOA - Dead On Arrival; patient was found to be already clinically dead upon the arrival of professional medical assistance. (Source: Wikipedia, of course.)_

_Hello, fellas! It only took a felt decade, but finally it is here, the latest chapter of ME: Raven. An look: We breached the 100.000 words, and are not even close to the finishing line. I hope you all enjoyed ME: Raven so far, and are looking forward to the next chapter as well; UNC: Hades' Dogs. This Chapter gave me quite some headaches, and would have once again resulted in numerous scientific catastrophes if it hadn't been for__** 5 Coloured Walker**__. Thanks once more, mate! One of these days, a cameo appearance will hit you when you expect it least. _

_If you indeed did like this chapter and/or this story, please consider leaving a fav, a follow and, best case, a comment as well._

_ Or, to quote Andrew Ryan: Would you kindly leave a review?_

_Thank you, and until next time! _


	15. Ten - UNC: Hades' Dogs

_**Nothing in life is so exhilarating as to be shot at without result. **\- Winston Churchill_

* * *

**Chapter 10 - UNC: Hades' Dogs**

The cool metal floor offered the comfort I was looking for. A bit unconventional for someone who wasn't drunk, maybe, but then again I wasn't someone to care about conventions.

And strange looks or sarcastic comments, well… I was alone in the Cargo bay, lay sprawled between Mako and lock, had calming beats on my ears and my eyes closed.

I had been relaxing for the last twenty or so minutes. I just wanted to get away from all other humans, and luckily, Postle and Ash were off-duty.

Of course, it was an alien that found me.

"Raven? Are you alright?"

I opened my eyes and looked up. Turned upside-down, I looked into a violet visor. I suppressed a sigh and removed the earphones.

"I'm alright, Tali, thank you. I just needed a bit of calm." I chuckled. "If the guys," I pointed towards the ceiling, roughly towards the Crew's Mess, "keep at it at this pace, someone's going to be spaced before we're even in the OP-area."

The marines aboard the _NORMANDY_ were, generally, a bunch of relatively nice people. Miller did lower the average nicety a bit, but still.

They knew who they were fighting against, they knew the reasons, and the overall morale was quite high. They were, to put it in one word, professionals. But even then, being confined in relatively small space can get people to act weird.

I was noticing it myself. The continued lack of a real day-night-cycle was starting to grind on me. During night shift, the lights were dimmed to compensate somewhat, but it just wasn't the same. The lack of natural weather did its share.

I had rarely dreamt in my sleep before, or at least rarely remembered them. Now I had quite the colorful dreams in which the recent events mixed in, creating wild and chaotic nightmares.

Doctor Chakwas, when I asked her, assured me that it was only a temporary problem. Twenty-one years of being used to planetside conditions wasn't something that was shaken off easily. She had handed me some sleeping pills to take in small dosages to help make the transition smoother, and while I noticed that it made me more tired during the day, the benefit for my state of mind did outweigh this drawback by far.

Some of the marines suffered much more than me. Due to our ship_'_s marine detail being put together somewhat hastily, roughly half of the marines were not trained to actually _live_ aboard a starship. They should have been deployed on a few minor Alliance colonies in the Skyllian Verge. To make things worse, some of these men and women were from colonies with relatively harsh climatic conditions, and the almost absolute stillness here was not quite unlike trying to grow a sunflower without sunlight - if you catch my drift.

And then, all it took was one single awkward moment. I wasn't present, luckily, but heard my fair share. To keep details to a minimum: Another private, even younger than me, apparently had a crush on Danners. One that he showed... a bit too freely. It resulted in a crushed nose and some harsh disciplinary working, ordered by unit commander Alenko, SLT.

Ever since, the air in the marine's quarters was a bit too thick for my liking. I used my squad privileges, stayed mostly on the officer's deck and waited for everything to cool down.

"What has happened? I can feel the tension... it is horrible."

I decided to be polite and stop acting like a carpet, rolled myself up and stood before her. "You guys live aboard your flotilla, many people in small spaces." I smiled at her. It was half a grimace. "Humans seemingly can't do that. At least, not as good."

She tilted her head in a way I translated as 'curious'. "But aren't they supposed to work together? Why would they attack each other when they have a common goal?"

I leaned my back against the Mako's reactive armor and invited her to do the same. I thought for a few seconds on how to answer, finally shaking my head in a bit of frustration. "Humans don't work like that, unfortunately. We can be social, but at times we just need some time alone." I gestured at the floor, giving a tired half-grin. "That's the reason why you found me here, by the way."

"Oh! Sorry, I can leave you alone if you want some, uh,..."

"No, no, 's fine. I actually wanted to go grab some snack, and I must've looked pretty stupid anyway." I rubbed my brow. "Sorry if that sounds rude, but, eh, what brings you here? Didn't Shepard tell you to get some rest, like, half an hour ago?"

"Well, yes, but I… can't."

I raised an eyebrow and tilted my head.

"It's all so… silent. It feels wrong."

I knew what that was about, but decided to play dumb. It had been an eternity since we last had a real discussion, a friendly conversation that was more than the usual small-talk during the meals or while working.

* * *

Our schedules were tight. The _NORMANDY's_ prototype systems required much more maintenance than expected, the crew was too low on sailors - ten people can make such a difference - and we were not exactly going easy on our material. The ship was a small frigate, but with everyone being loaded with work, staying in contact with everyone just wasn't possible - even if they were only fifteen meters away.

Garrus, Wrex and Ashley were the ones I interacted with mostly - Garrus and I were practically assigned to the Mako together, Ashley trained me and let me help her with the maintenance of our guns, and Grumpy Big Badass was standing in his corner and watched everything, only occasionally giving his two credits.

I guess if you're living over seven hundred years, you will inevitably gain extreme patience... Or stop caring.

Liara was mostly keeping to herself - buried in the small lab, spending hours upon hours in the Extranet by the looks of it. The only times I actually saw her were during our shared meals, and most of that time she was in company of either our Commander, or Dr. Chakwas.

Speaking of her, Shepard really was the one making the rounds, two to three times a day. 'Course, those rounds weren't always the big game changers… scratch the 'always'.

Like, not a billion lines of hidden awesome squad dialogue. When she talked with Garrus and me, for an example, it was mostly small-talk, or discussion about potential Mako upgrades - that would likely never actually leave the early stages of development, aka, our twisted brains. Too much risk of accidental… unpredicted types of damage.

Although I really liked the Incendiary White Phosphorus Smoke Screen one.

It was still nice of her to look after us, especially since she somehow managed to not appear like someone trying to constantly breath down everyone's neck. On the other hand, I wondered when Garrus would drop the subject of Doctor… Sealeon? Saelon? I remembered darkly that there was some sort of a minor loyalty mission for him in ME1, just like Wrex' family armor, but had forgotten all the details.

Well, I was confident that we would solve that problem in due time. If Shepard even cared…

Hm. Other than those people? Of course, I had daily contact to most members of the marine detail - I mean, I technically was part of their unit. On the other hand... I'm not someone who socializes a lot and we had other things to worry about.

* * *

I leaned back, stared to the ground and thought about what Tali had said. The bits about how a quiet ship would be dangerous, as quietness would mean that some vitally important systems had failed. And that the_ NORMANDY_ felt too empty, as if half of the crew wasn't there.

We were both sitting on the ground now, each one leaning against the massive tyres.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but if I remember correctly, your people are very social amongst themselves. You live together, you sleep together, you work together for the better of the Flotilla. You're close to your fellow crewmembers, as if they were family…?"

Tali rubbed her right up arm with her left hand. "Well, yes, in a way. We are not family, we are... we are _Ran'ech._"

I looked at her, a brow raised. "Could you say that again please? My translator didn't pick it up."

"I think that's because there is no real translation. At least I haven't heard of any. It's... somewhere between a family and... and a team, a squad, a pack maybe."

"Tribe? Clan, maybe?"

"Tribe may work, yes. We aren't relatives, but we try to be like ones. It happens quite often that children are raised by _ran'ech_ just as much as by their parents, for an example." She looked down. "My mother died when I was just a small infant. My father is an admiral, he always has a lot of work to do. My aunt Raan took care of me. Well, she is not really my aunt, but... you know what I mean."

I looked at her, feigning astonishment. "Wait, you father is an admiral?"

"Yes. He is leading the Admiralty Board. And Auntie Raan is the Admiral of the Civilian Fleet. "

I smiled. "If I didn't know better, I'd say that you were a real princess."

She tilted her head to me.

"Hm?"

"Well, uhm... Commander Shepard said almost the same thing."

_Careful._ "Heh, I am not surprised. We humans are strange." I grinned broadly. "Even to one another."

We conversed some more. Tali told me some of the things she had already told Shepard – about the structure of the fleet, the workings of Admiralty Board, Conclave, Captains and Pilgrimage gifts. Knowing most of the basics, I asked her a few more detailed questions of my personal interest. Some she answered freely, almost enthusiastically, some others she had problems explaining to me. It was an alien society, after all.

Our conversation died down shortly after, and for a moment, we both just enjoyed the comfortable silence. The low humming of the engine made me sleepy. I felt almost sorry to interrupt the quietness.

"Do you miss the Fleet, Tali?"

She didn't answer for a few moments, and I carefully tilted my face towards her.

"... I do. If you had asked me before I began my pilgrimage, I couldn't await to leave. The crowds, they were too much. But now, I… miss them." She looked at me. "You must think that it's crazy."

I shook my head. "Heh, I felt the same once." I thought about how to stay true to myself, and still stick to my fake ID - it felt wrong, but was necessary.

"When I left my parents after what I found out, I was sure that I never would return. The hatred was too deep. Or that's what I thought." I stared up into the dimmed lights on the ceiling. "And still, at times I wish I could get back. Even now." I turned my gaze to her, smiling. An actual genuine smile, not sarcastic as usual. "You're about to become an adult with your Pilgrimage, I barely completed mine. I think that it's normal for us to miss what we're used to, especially to us young people who don't really know what's outside their home."

I shook my head, chuckling lightly, and closed my eyes. "Look at me, barely an adult, and trying to give some sage advice on life to someone who's almost as old as me. I should really leave that to Shep."

"Well, what you said, it is true."

"I really hope so."

The silence that followed felt more comfortable than before.

"I would really like to see the Flotilla, one day." I said on impulse. I remembered the pictures of ME 2 and 3, and our talks had intrigued me to no end.

Even if I would not know Tali, I am sure that I would be quite fond of the Quarian people. Now, I am a cynic, and so I was very well aware that they weren't all flowers and butterflies. Their ingrained hate against the Geth while understandable, had the potential to ruin both species, that was certain. Certain individuals, like for example Rael'Zorah and Han'Gerrel, were a testament that some of the quarian traits were questionable, to put mildly. And don't get me started on Tali's loyalty mission.

However... how they managed to survive against all odds, against all the racism and hate they had to endure, against the Council, with the limited resources, numbers and everything? Forced into suits, with every small injury having the chance of being a death sentence? Staying true to themselves in the process? You could argue that it was human compassion speaking, sympathy fueled by knowing about Tali, Shala'Raan, people like Veetor or the infamous Kal'Reegar - but one must pay respect to their race's collective power of will at the same time.

My line of thoughts was interrupted.

"Before I met, well, you all... I would not have thought that possible. Nobody wants to have contact with a Quarian. The galaxy thinks of us as inferior. That's what my father told me. My pilgrimage taught me that he was right." Tali focused me with her shiny eyes. "But, after meeting Shepard, you, the others here... maybe, he wasn't so right."

I gave her a small smile. Leaning back into the Mako's armor, I lowered my head, averted my eyes and looked down.

A thought had struck me a bit earlier, and I felt that it was at least something to consider. Now, with what had been said, the spark had gained more momentum.

But it was far too early to talk about it. Instead, I merely looked up again, and spoke with seriousness.

"I feel honored. And I'm sure, the others do as well."

* * *

A few days later, we were back in the struggle.

Approaching Nepheron, all stealth systems engaged.

Scanning the area, making plans.

Getting prepared and geared up.

Reaching the LZ.

Planetfall with the Mako.

Getting said tank close enough, taking out any hostiles that hadn't seeked cover in time.

Our attack on the last Cerberus stronghold we knew about was, from the outside, mere routine. It all looked like one of your regular Mass Effect 1 planetside missions. And me calling it a 'routine', that was both a good and a bad thing.

That said, on the inside, it wasn't quite that easy despite me getting somewhat used to all of this.

I had lost all hesitation attacking another living being, acted coolly and ruthlessly like one would expect from a marine. Killing Kahoku had made things personal, or so I told myself. Thinking back, I'd say I was trying to at least somewhat compensate for my lack of commitment in saving his life, and that's what made me eager to take down as many Cerberus operatives as possible.

If you're feeling dramatic, this change of heart was on clear display with my new piece of equipment.

With my balaclava and glasses consumed by acid, I needed another way of protecting my head from hazardous influences. Once again, Shepard and Postle came to my rescue.

* * *

I griped at the fabric once more, trying to straighten it with my glove… useless. It had to work that way.

"You ready?"

I looked up, nodded to Ash, and let her help me fasten my new mask to the seals of the armor.

The "suitable replacement" for my balaclava, that Shepard had talked about, was a goddamned Recon Hood. An older model, apparently. Or just the '83 version.

I didn't feel any magical 5% increase to my weapon damage, at least.

But, as advertised, the 'ballistic-mesh fabric' and the 'composite ceramic plating' offered greatly increased protection compared to my old balaclava, and the HUD was neatly fit into my general field of view - which was slightly increased, thanks to the fact that I didn't need to wear protective glasses anymore.

It looked pretty badass as well, especially combined with my black light armor, dark grey chest rig and the black and white Mattock. I already had plans to paint everything in a matching black-and-grey. Not most fashionable.. but surely an effective urban camo.

As a plus, I wouldn't have to deal with clunky breather masks anymore since an air filter system was directly built into the hood. I had no night- or infrared vision available to me, but that was a fact I could live with.

Especially, since that meant that the eyes didn't _fucking glow. _Unlike in the game, where sometimes, the urge to go all Hollywood was too strong with the graphic design guys.

I mean, needing to sell some products with flashy beautiful lights, okay. But why a hood for sneaky, stealthy black operations!?

The steel helmet, unfortunately, was not fitting with this ensemble – but I would keep it for worlds I could breath on. And as some sort of a trophy as well.

The pressure seals locked tightly together, and with one last glance and nod towards Ashley, who wore her helmet tightly sealed as well we jumped out of the Mako onto the frozen rocky ground of Nepheron.

Rifle in hand, I closed the distance to Shepard and the squad, dodging the broken bodies of Cerberus snipers in the process.

Shepard merely nodded and when Ashley was next to me, gave us a sign. We lined up, and as the airlock gave way, rushed into the base.

We worked fast and coordinated, secured the first room in a matter of seconds. Shep looked on her HUD, and ordered us to line up on the left inner seal.

I stood behind everyone else, fastened the grip on my weapon, and started sweating.

My HUD showed ten tangos on the other side.

"Raven."

"On it."

I readied up a flash, while the others sticked to cover. Shepard looked at me, I nodded, she pressed the large green button.

"Get ready!"

Almost as in Slow-mo, the door unsealed, and as the shutter started retracting the middle, I threw the 'nade on the other side – remembering just in time about the map layout to throw it in a bit of an angle, and got out of the way.

A few surprised yells that followed the _bang!_ showed that I had stepped on the right people's toes.

The squad rushed in, and I saw a few tango's standing around, dazed. One of them, a Commando, reacted out of impulse and fired his biotics in the direction of the door.

It was aimed at Garrus, but the turian cop-turned-badass was quick enough to let himself fall flat to the ground and return fire.

I was anything but agile, and that's how I made the first acquaintance with a few kilonewton worth of Biotic Force.

It really felt like a fucking hammer impacting in my chest, but at the very least I was quick-thinking enough to drop half to the ground. That lowered my center of mass, so the Throw didn't blast me against the next wall, but only a few feet away. I tumbled with my back against said, but was on my feet and behind cover within three seconds.

Alliance standard issue excersises, brought to me by Gunnery Drill Sergeant Ashley Madeline Williams.

"I'm fine, I'm fine!" was my response to Shepard's shouted question, then I used the opportunity to set up camp behind the large crates in the center room. A perfect angle to lock down one half of the room where the fighting was going on.

I was up in time to see Garrus taking a hit to the shoulder while he tried to crawl back to cover.

I took the sniper, who didn't even see me, in my sights and made him pay with two bullets. First one hit the chest and made him stagger, the second one was a clear headshot, impacting close to the mouth and causing brain, blood and dental stuff to splatter behind him. Needless to say that he fell immediately, causing me to flash half an emotionless grin while I gave the Mattock time to cool. I felt the adrenaline, but at the same time something kept me calm.

A second later, Shepard and Kaidan had dragged Garrus to cover, patching him up with medigel. A female Cerberus Commando tried to use the situation to her advantage, but a bullet from my rifle and Ashley's suppressing fire forced her back down behind an obstacle. Meanwhile, Tali and Wrex's shotguns sounded loudly, but what was going on on their side I couldn't see.

Garrus stood up again, shaking off Kaidan's offered help with a nod and a gesture – I hastily let myself fall behind my cover, dodging two sniper's targeting lasers and felt their rounds impacting into the ground around me - damn close to my feet. The barriers protecting me lit up like a christmas tree, and cursing wildly I pulled my leg from their line of sight as well.

The threat of being hit by their 'Assassination' ability was enough for me to stay _fucking_ low.

"Commander, I'm pinned!"

Shepard gave a short acknowledgement. Then I heard three shotguns blasting loudly – and three dots vanishing from the sensors. I may never like the way they handle, but in the right hands, the 'boomsticks' surely get the job done.

Taking my chance, I jumped up and, when no one targeted me, dashed over to close the distance. Hostile fire accompanied my way, but it was inaccurate thanks to the squad pinning Cerberus in their place.

"Red! Flush 'em out!"

I grabbed an incendiary, readied it up and took aim.

"I'm burning him, _get back!_"

A red cylinder flew in a high arch, exploded mid-air and dropped half a liter of liquid hellfire right on a sniper's face.

The operative stumbled, fell to the ground and rolled around to get rid of the flames. His shields flared wildly, burning liquid was all over him.

Using Wrex' broad back as cover, four Mattock rounds made sure that the traitor was going nowhere with that.

I retreated to cool off, and then saw the last Cerberus goon mid-air, surrounded by a blue hue.

We attempted to take him into custody, however, he went limp before the effect of Liara's Lift even ended, falling down to the ground with a loud thump.

A later analysis showed that he'd taken the coward's exit. Potassium cyanide in his tooth. A very old, but unfortunately very effective way to avoid interrogation.

* * *

With all Cerberus forces dead and gone, it was understandably a pretty easy, relaxing even, task to scavenge the area for anything useful.

Unfortunately, just like in-game, Shepard's attempt at 'carefully pressing a few buttons' resulted in station-wide alarm and the complete flushing of all local data storages. I bit back a cynic comment about what our Commander meant by _dealing_ with tech – I am not that suicidal, thank you very much.

At least, she did secure large chunks of it on her tool. Those were heavily encrypted, and deciphering them would take time and computing power the _NORMANDY_ simply didn't have. The Alliance did, and with any luck, it would help dealing quite a bit of damage to Cerberus - or even be a war asset later on.

Shepard did not trade it in with the Shadow Broker. Wrex made no comment on it, during our debrief. Then again, both things would have surprised me quite a bit, despite our Krogan having worked for the Broker. He was a mercenary, after all.

The debrief itself, technical-tactical points of interest aside, had a strange atmosphere to it. Grimness dominated. But also a bit of…. Yeah, satisfaction may be the right word.

Kahoku could now rest a bit easier. But everyone knew that we hadn't seen the last of Cerberus.

It didn't take out-of-dimension knowledge info to _feel_ it. I swore myself to be ready for Round 2 in 2185.

* * *

"Alright."

Shepard's sigh was long and full of feel. She let her gaze wander around, rest on each of us for a few moments, before she took a few steps aside and began to type into her omnitool. We had discussed the topic of our last mission pretty exhaustingly. We all got our time to be yelled at, she even asked and accepted critics on her own performance. Not what you would expect from a higher ranked officer… but to quote Tali in Mass Effect 2: 'Shepard is no ordinary officer.'

Still, I refrained from noting that Tali may have been the better choice to try getting the info from the base's servers. At that time, it was merely respect for our Commander. Writing these lines now, I think it may also have been wrong. It wouldn't be unlike Shepard to rather attempt it herself, than to get Tali on it and risk her getting the flak for when it failed.

It would have been too fitting, if Command would have put the blame on the quarian… regardless of what Shepard wrote in her report.

I got called out for leaving cover too often, but Shepard also made sure to drop a few positive words on my shooting.

Ever since I had abandoned my order to protect Liara at all costs back on Therum, I felt even less inclined to talk back at such things than I would usually, given my nature. I had received quite the backlash for just putting the hurt Asari in a corner and fighting back instead. Well, I _knew_ that Liara wouldn't be harmed during the fight, but in-game knowledge of 'critical NPC's being invulnerable' wasn't exactly something you can use to defend yourself.

If it hadn't been for the cause of shielding the injured Ashley, the debrief would have been far more unpleasant for me… And our Commander would have been right. She made a comment in private - and for that I was grateful, not being called on the carpet in front of everyone else. I vouched to not abandon or risk any civilian or VIP, especially not when under her orders, and so far I had kept it.

"We covered all the mission details, and put Cerberus behind us. Case closed. I think it's time we get back to our primary mission - stopping Saren, and make sure that whatever he plans, it fails."

I had stayed quiet for the entire meeting, all the time considering our chances of running into Lieutenant Toombs. If Shep had been the Sole Survivor, then I had argued that completing that task was a no-brainer… but she wasn't, and so I was unable to predict if the 'Causa Cerberus' was indeed done. We would see. I had not seen or heard Shepard call her mother either.

There were other people around me, people that actually had important things to say. I made sure to listen intensely, but now things began to get actually interesting again.

"With all said and done… Feros is waiting for us." There was nothing to lean on where Shepard was, but everything about her posture suggested that, if a railing would have been available, she would have heavily supported herself on it. Take it for what it is.

"Alliance High Command has cleared the route for us. They will accept my SPECTRE level clearance, or that's what they told me. Our objective is pretty simple - get there, figure out what exactly is happening to the colony, resolve the issue, destroy all enemy positions, extract with all intel and assets we can possibly get our hands on."

I nodded, a notion that was lost in the agreeing murmur of my squadmates. Sometimes someone's needed to lead the charge into the enemy trenches… but that's what our Commander was made for. Literally, if you are feeling sarcastic.

"We don't have any proper intel on our enemy. As usual. But what we do have: There are a few hundreds civilians around, and if Saren's smart, he'll use those innocents to slow us down."

She shook her head, and absent-minded touched her forearm with the right hand. Some pistol shot had punched through her armor, but she had refused to let anyone treat her. A small dosage of medigel would have been enough… then again, if even Kaidan hadn't been allowed to treat Shepard planetside, I decided to leave that to Dr. Chakwas. Probably the only authority aboard that our Commander would listen to in medical matters - or in general.

"We're now five days from Feros. Geth attacks have been confirmed, but unlike Therum, where we knew what they were after," here she made a gesture towards Liara, who smiled a bit shyly in response, "Saren's objective is still unknown. Whatever it is, we must make sure that his guys don't overrun the colony. Raven, Williams!"

I straightened up, and out of the corner of my eye's I saw Ash doing the same. "Yes, Commander?"

"I don't know what exactly is happening right now in Zhu's Hope, but potentially defending it is part of the agreement the brass has reached with ExoGeni. I want you in charge of our marines, and Raven with you if you need more hands. You six, me six."

"Aye-Aye, Commander."

_Wait, what?_

I couldn't exactly say that I felt put out about not having to deal with the Thorian and his - its, whatever - botanical BS, but it was a surprise nonetheless. A major one. The _NORMANDY_'s marine detail deployed to protect Zhu's Hope, while Shepard's squad would do the exciting stuff?

I didn't show my feelings, put on a mask and merely nodded in confirmation.

"You know where we're going." Shepard said in a final tone, retreating back to finally lean herself against the communicators. She folded her arms in front of her, looking positively confident. "Use the time we've left to get ready. I'll call you all a twelve hours before we go in. Time to show Saren that he's not _fucking_ with our people. Dismissed!"

We cleared the room. I followed Wrex to the mess, but where he stuffed himself with some sort of spicy 'tastes-like-chicken' kind of meal, I grabbed the third mug of coffee for the day, and another protein bar.

For the upcoming Feros mission, our equipment needed to be up to scratch, which meant repairs, checks and upgrades to prepare for Geth ambushes, strange plants, green Asari, some sort of a bullshiat cypher to decrypt some previously encrypted knowledge from that freaking plant…

I may or may not have been utterly annoyed that day. But our last _joyride_ with that three times cursed tin-can of a tank had left us dangerously low on spare tyres, and I was not looking forward to spending an entire afternoon trying to unbend the axles and patching up the solid rubber.

Then again, it was necessary, and I had signed up for this. Or so my monthly paycheck said.

And, well, small talking with Garrus wasn't a bad way to spend a sunday.

When Tali came by to help Garrus with the electronics, and Wrex went on to personally 'talk some sense' (as he called it) into the the rebellious and offending piece of iron-something-alloy, we actually made some progress.

We had three days left to prepare. And we would be ready when the call came.

* * *

_Same time. Another place in the galaxy. _

Intelligence. Counter-Intelligence.

It was, in theory, a game with a very simple set of rules, and a clear goal to achieve.

Know everything about your opponent, while denying all of your knowledge to him or her. And in the end, trade your advantage in information into to something more… physical. May that be hard cash, an allies' assets, a favorable battle plan.

The man knew that the game of knowledge had often be compared to a game of chess. He partially agreed, partially disagreed with that statement.

It was in the nature of humans and sentient life in general, that nothing was simple when it came to revenge, to loyalty, to changes of heart. Information warfare, to his understanding, was _the_ game of and about organic emotion.

Only who managed the depths of a being's soul, with all their strengths and weaknesses, ambitions and fears, could hope to play it well. And only who could masterfully pull and cut the right chord at the time could ever hope to achieve the rank of a grandmaster.

And looking at the reports his teams had sent from Nepheron and Binthu, the Illusive Man could see the pieces moving in brilliant clarity.

The demise of Rear Admiral Kahoku was an unfortunate, but necessary precaution. Cerberus wasn't widely recognized as a major factor… yet. It was foreseeable, that the Alliance and the Council would turn more attention to the guard dog of humanity in the future.

But not now. Humanity had to have a single goal right now. And while the human survivalist group he led would be a considerable force in near future, right now many of its crucial projects were yet too vulnerable to risk a direct confrontation with Council forces of any kind.

The loss of Project Shell Shock, the experimental creation of an army of expendable, breedable shock troopers had been unfortunate, too. But its chances of success had been considered low right from the start, and if sacrificing a pawn was the price to avert a dangerous check, then the trade was not only favorable, but also of vital importance.

Cerberus wasn't lacking pawns. They just weren't in the right positions - this turn.

Leaning back in his chair and taking a drag from his cigarette, the Illusive Man looked absent-minded on the large holographic screens in front of him. They displayed every bit of information about the _NORMANDY_ his agents had been able to acquire so far. One could argue that this was a pointless exercise, since he had all the blueprints available to him - hell, a large part of them had been drawn by _his_ personnel - but it was worth noting the small changes between the plans and the actual construction, details that could prove invaluable to later… upgrades.

The technicians were already designing an improved model, a heavy frigate - a ship that was more than a 'prototype cloaked landing craft'. A ship that was meant to actively harass the enemy's rear, his supply lines, his bases - striking fast and hard before hiding in the dark of space. Like a submarine of old.

The batarians and turians had been hiding behind their fleets for long enough.

Though, that was not what The Illusive Man focused on right now.

The technical specifications were only secondary. Primary objective of his spies were the people aboard - one woman and her squad in particular.

He waved at a few tiles. New pictures formed, and from these, he pulled eight to the front.

Commander Shepard was a remarkable woman. The first human SPECTRE, symbol of humanities ambitions. But Cerberus had watched her before, ever since the successful defense of Elysium.

Someone who could inspire civilians and soldiers to such greatness would be a great asset to Cerberus, and as such to the entire human race - more than she could ever be as part of the Systems Alliance. Recruitment efforts were considered.

The current crisis however mandated a more… subtle approach.

The intentions and goals of Saren Arterius were not known to the Illusive Man. Even his wide network of agents had reached its limits, especially when it came to classified mission details in regard to SPECTREs.

The majority of Cerberus' agents were still centered around Earth… it was indeed time to put a greater focus on the galaxy at large, instead of just manipulating the Alliance.

The man who once had been Jack Harper took a grim satisfaction from the fact that Saren had seemingly followed his brother's path into madness. Some wounds just never healed, didn't want to be healed, even if he had proven useful in foiling Desolas plan's.*

The Illusive Man he was now however would not commit any assets of his still-fragile organization to combat an unknown threat, an action that undoubtedly would draw too much attention.  
For him, it was an excellent opportunity to see how Jane Shepard fared.

He considered his men to be expendable, but he was also aware that they were good. And a team that could just tear through them in a matter of few minutes demanded attention.

He looked at the eight portraitures.

Four humans, including the Hero of Elysium, the granddaughter of his old superior officer and an L2 biotic who had taken part in the BAaT - a project his shell company Conatix Industries had funded and largely led. People with potential, but still too naively trusting in the Alliance.

The asari, daughter of esteemed Matriarch Beneziah, who headed the House T'Soni and who was widely regarded as one of the most powerful and influential leaders of her people. And who was now considered the second major traitor.

The turian, who had been one of the most deadly snipers during his time in the Hierarchy's military, a SPECTRE candidate even, and one of C-SEC's most successful agents after that. Something of a rarity amongst turians… someone who understood that the ends justified the means.

The krogan, a dangerous mercenary of deadly reputation. His exact age was unknown, but at least seven hundred years of experience in all kinds of warfare was a fact that spoke for itself. He was rumored to once have been one of the strongest krogan leaders… it was not difficult to see why.

And the quarian pilgrim, allegedly the daughter of one of five Migrant Fleet admirals and, by all accounts, a very resourceful engineer.

A truly… exotic troupe of experts.

More radical, xenophobe elements of his organization would consider this composition a disgrace for the human race. For The Illusive Man, all that mattered was that Shepard had somehow found a way to make this work, to the benefit of the mission and humanity at large.

He had studied the profiles of each and every member of this unlikely bunch of squadmates. It

was important to consider all factors, when asserting the Commander's leadership skills. Knowledge was the key.

And for that reason, the enigmatic eight, Jess Raven, was someone to be noted.

He tipped on Raven's profile picture. The young man's image zoomed in, multiple lines of text next to it linked to every bit of information on him that was available.

Which was remarkably little.

The Alliance Personnel Database contained only the barest amount of information. Footages, family ties, friends, history of service, background… all of that was not available, further informations were either classified, or not available either. Other accounts, like tax offices or other civilian organizations, were almost completely void of traces as well.

And outside of the Alliance' bureaucracy, he didn't seem to exist at all.

Cases of people signing up to cut all ties with their old lives were not uncommon. But nobody managed to pull that off completely. With this young man, it seemed different. It was as if everything had been wiped, except that there were none of the typical traces of that.

The Illusive Man looked it over once more, then closed the file and stubbed out the cigarette, exhaling the last bit of smoke into the Chronos Station's artificial air.

This lack of understanding was less than ideal.

And yet, he assigned Raven a low priority.

He _would_ order a team of agents to search for traces. He was able to comb Earth's darker areas with an accuracy and efficiency the Alliance could only dream of. He would figure out who this boy was.

Because for all things that existed, there was always some sort of trail, even when it sometimes was very unobvious, particularly when someone was fleeing the Terminus. A ex-slave keeping their head down, or a person looking for a new start - successfully leaving it all behind. It would be found eventually, and Raven was likely in the same boat as the quarian girl - despite her alleged relations. Brought along to protect him for assassins, fighting because he didn't want to hide in a bunker. There was no guarantee - there rarely was - but there was enough evidence to consider it a fact.

Raven could only be considered an average fighter - merely armed better than the foes he faced. The Illusive Man had his teams analyze the security feeds from Binthu and Nepheron, down to the last frame, watching him in his customized, yet still Alliance-issued gear.

There was no doubt that, while he was gaining experience, the private was still subpar to the rest of the group. It wasn't a faked behavior. His analysts were sure of that.

And no one would place an agent in someone's ranks without at least creating a solid faked identity, let alone someone this inexperienced. It was just so ignorant of even the easiest of rules in the game he played, that he was not going to consider it a real option. Given how suspicious a complete lack of background was, there was only one logical reason for whoever might have placed him -

A distraction, either to conceal a more skilled agent's presence, or to enforce the commitment of valuable countermeasures that couldn't be used against a really important operation.

Still, it would have been something worth noting, and investigating in detail, if not...

His communicator gave an alarm. He read the name and allowed himself a small, almost unnoticeable smile.

For now, the war against the geth, a matter the galactic press already called the 'Eden Prime War' called for the leader of the Guardian Hound of Humanity and demanded his full attention.

Opportunities and openings revealed themselves every day, while the threat for humanity developed and changed its face. New technologies could be salvaged from defeated geth patrols, the detachable heatsink 'magazines' opened up a wide array of possibilities. New weapons, designed to combat the synthetic threat, were waiting to be field-tested. The inevitable power shifts in Alliance parliament, and in human leadership across Earth in result of the war's outbreak and the assignment of the first human SPECTRE needed to be exploited, in the best case by his allies of Terra Firma.

The question of Shepard and her mission needed to be addressed, but had to stay in the background for now. One of her subordinates…. doubly so.

"Operative Lawson. I understand there have been… complications on Luna."

After all, who would focus on a pawn when there were rooks, knights and bishops to be moved?

So, The Illusive Man would wait, and watch as the pieces started to move on the board he thought had control about.

That, maybe, was one of T.I.M.s greatest mistakes in the game he had dedicated his life to.

Raven, upon learning about him narrowly escaping Cerberus' attention at this time, would later comment in his usual, sarcastic-ironic manner…

"Nobody expects the promotion.**"

* * *

_**A/N**__: *See Mass Effect: Ascension. _

**The promotion, in chess, is a move where a pawn reaches the far side of the board and is subsequently turned into another type of piece. Two things should be noted here… First: this move can literally turn the weakest piece, the pawn, into the strongest piece, the queen. Second: If it actually happens, it's often the match-winning move. Make out of that what you will.

_And no, I am not using this just for the purpose of spicing things up… I really enjoy playing chess, even though I will probably never reach a high rank. Someone like Traynor could beat me any given day, and probably without any effort. _

_Other than that, I hope you all had a smooth transition into the new year - and that you enjoy this slight change of pace in the story. Playtime's over now, Feros awaits. And I have found new vigour, replaying all of ME1-3 in potential preparation for Andromeda._

_Please, EA and Bioware. Do NOT f*ck this up. _

_Regardless how good that new ME may be, though… the tales and exploits of Commander Shepard will always leave me with fond memories, and as such, you all don't need to worry about me abandoning this lil' story of mine._

_Thanks to the one and only __**5 Coloured Walker**__ for once again enduring bad English and horrible wording, and for helping me as a Beta reader - and giving so much valuable input that I should officially note him as Co-Author one of these days. It's appreciated, by me and by everyone reading, I'm sure of that! If there are (and I am sure that there are) still mistakes left, I take full responsibility._

_Anyway - If you like this story, please consider to leave me a fav and a follow, maybe even a review. I am glad about any kind of useful critique I can get._

_Until you read me again! (Hopefully.)_


	16. Eleven - Feros: Hold Zhu's Hope

**"Pedites pugnas decernent. - (roughly:) It's the infantry that decides the battle." **

_\- Slogan of the German Infantry Training Center in Bavaria_

* * *

**Chapter 11 - Feros: Hold Zhu's Hope**

I noticed the other person in the room only when she seated herself on the opposite side of the mess hall table. I looked up, shook myself out of my thoughts and then saw just how annoyed Shepard looked like.

As in, the unhappy, stressed-out kind of annoyed. Luckily, I wasn't to be blamed. The blame was rather on the ones that had designed our stealth system, the propulsion and the heat capacitors.

I didn't understand the more technical aspects to it - I'm just a grunt - but from what I had picked up, something caused the heat and static the _NORMANDY's _drive core produced during FTL flight to -somehow, magically to me, quite annoying for our techs - gradually trickle into the capacitors and emission sinks used to keep us hidden while we were stealthed, and not into the capacitors they were supposed to go into.  
The problem was, that these special sinks, the one part of our ship that caused the _NORMANDY_ to be so cutting-edge and invisible, were slowly burning out in the process. Over time, the time we could maintain the silent running without being roasted ourselves would go down to near zero.

The two servicemen I had overheard during breakfast sounded amusingly frustrated, but seeing Shepard like that actually showed how much of a problem that design oversight really was.

"Commander." I greeted her in a friendly tone and raised my glass, hoping that would make her feel a little better. I didn't quite feel like my place in her team was that secured - a small bit of awe may still have been with me, I cannot tell, writing these lines now.

By the looks of it, she did enjoy it. At least she smiled, even though the slight weariness remained in her eyes.

"_Guten Morgen_, Raven."

I was perplexed enough to almost spill my orange juice. She chuckled, before turning her attention to the cereals on her tray. Shepard had spoken with an American accent, but it was pretty clear regardless.

A bit unsure, I grinned lightly in response. "I never noticed that German sounds so, well, aggressive when it's meant to be polite."

She snorted before taking a large sip from her coffee. "Well, now you know. That countryman of yours down in Engineering has such a strong accent, it makes me angry just listening to him. And don't get me started on the tech-stuff he's telling you, even when you don't want to hear it, 'cause you heard it five times already."

She leaned back and rose her hands in a comically-despaired fashion. "Zis heetsink capazitorr needz to be rreplazed ass soon as we arrr back on ze Zitadell."

I laughed at Shepard's display – that, apparently, only riled her up even more.

"Next time I'm down there, I'll take you with me so you can just _translate_ it to me."

Still grinning broadly, I shook my head. I had spoken with that guy, a Serviceman 2nd class on a few occasion, and we always dropped the English for German after a few words. Mainly because even I was barely able to make out what he said, but also because it obviously is nice to talk in your own tongue every once in awhile.

Admittedly, we _did_ annoy the ever-living hell out of everyone around us, and I was sure that I would be informally banned from entering Engineering very soon, but that only made it sweeter.

"I zink I can do zat, Commander." I said, feeling a bit of sadistic joy at Shepard rolling her eyes and emptying her cup as if it contained liquid painkillers. "In all seriousness though, Shepard - you're not exactly looking happy. Something off?"

She shook her head, gulped her coffee and placed the mug on the table. "Nothing, really. But this… 'design oversight' you probably heard about could be a real problem when we're on Feros. Our silent running is cut in half, our GARDIANs are almost useless right now. We're going into a live warzone, if our intel is correct. And this time, we're the only Alliance unit in the area."

She gave me a questioning and hard gaze. "You've read the briefing doc?"

I nodded. "Yeah. You guys go in and look what Saren's after, the Marines plus Williams and I hang back and defend the colony. Or what's left of it. Reinforcements are on the way."

"That's the very short, but good enough." Shepard put a spoonful of cornflakes in her mouth. I took this opportunity to think about what Feros would bring - I had forgotten some of the details, but generally, the mission was supposed to not be too critical. Not too dangerous.

_Except for the fact that you and your squad are going to help a bunch of civilians that will at one point turn on you and become some sort of zombies._

I felt a slight shiver creeping down my spine. Luckily, Shepard wasn't paying attention.

"Well, my gear's ready. The Mako should be as well, just in case. Last time I checked, Garrus was complaining about the target algorithmen…"

"He tends to do that, doesn't he?" Shepard asked dryly.

"... but everything else should be ready. Set up a few additional incendiaries and have updated my omniblade. Whatever's coming at us," I finished, sounding a bit too pleased with myself for my own liking, "I'll be ready if you need me."

"Great." She nodded, and smiled. "You're making progress, Raven. Had you told me that you actually would make a good addition to the team when we first met, I would not have been so sure about that. But you're showing quite some promise."

"Hm." I wasn't quite sure what I was supposed to respond to this unexpected praise, feeling a bit self-conscious. "Thank you, I guess?"

Shepard's smile turned a bit warmer. "I'm not kidding. Watch out, when this is over, we may just get you promoted to NCO. I think you'll fit right in."

A fair portion of pride mixed into my embarrassment. I was not so certain if our Commander was right about all of that, but her praise was high regardless. "Thank you, Commander. I must admit, I feel better about all this 'soldier' business than I thought."

She smiled, but didn't say anything. I took it as an invitation to continue.

"Never thought I'd like being on that much of a schedule… but maybe I just needed someone or something to kick my arse." I grinned openly, first with a bit of sarcasm, then genuine. "We're doing good work here. That's more than I have done so far."

It was true. I had been a student before, my subject being geography, humans and the way they were acting and influencing the world around them. An interesting field, if you're into that topic, but my character often made me very bitter about people.

At that time I just began to understand that I had lost all hope that what I did would really matter.

Call me young, dear reader, call me naive, romantic, idiotic or a mixture of all of it, but now, from a distance I can understand that I wanted to make a difference, and that this was one of the things that kept me from really looking for a way back home.

In this world, I could make the difference. And so I had found what I had lost years ago - a reason to push myself further than I had thought possible.

Of course, having a squad that at least partially depends on you is quite a strong motivation as well.

I just was not so sure about my future in the Alliance. But despite that, I added: "Maybe when Saren's done for, I actually will enlist permanently. It's far better than ending up as hitman in the Terminus." My left hand's thumb stroked along the edge of the dog tag I had placed next to my plate. I was wearing it whenever I was on duty, but sometimes the iron chain it hung from on just annoyed me to no end.

Shepard nodded approvingly, but I noticed that her eyes were watchful. "If you decide to do that, I'll make sure to give you some help. But, let's not rush ahead of ourselves. We still have no idea what Saren's up for, and the Geth are still attacking our colonies." She leaned back, having finished her meal in the meantime. I hurried to catch up with her and stood up as well, grabbing my tags and the tray.

"One more thing", she said on the way to the dishwasher. "You're on a double-shift today. Make sure that our gear is ready, we'll be needing it. In the second shift, go to Dr. Chakwas and let her take some more blood."

I bobbed my head in understanding, suppressing a grimace at the thought of the Doc and her sharp needle. Over the last two weeks, we had slowly built up a small blood bank for myself. While human medicine was advanced enough to create synthetic blood for transfusions, it needed a small amount of natural blood in order to get the process going.

Of course, in the worst case I could be given a normal blood donation from anyone with my blood group - but having my own blood in reserve eliminated most of the common risks, like infections or any other complications.

And while I didn't like the laying-around-being-bored-and-stung part of it, I understood fully that my life would maybe depend on that one day - especially since my relatively unaltered body was more fragile in that regard, than my fellow and experienced squadmates. Better safe, than sorry.

"When you're finished there, you're off the clock. Relax, do something else, sleep - but keep in mind that as soon as the third shift ends, we're only an hour from Feros. Understood?"

"Copy that, Commander." Our conversation got cut short by the sound of a lock opening, and Liara left the medbay. She noticed us and stopped dead in her tracks.

"Oh, Shepard, Raven… I hope I'm not interrupting you?"

I shook my head. "Was just about to leave." I turned to Shepard, and nodded. "I'll be in Cargo if anybody needs me. See ya later, Commander. Liara."

I closed the distance to the elevator, only turning around when the door was about to close behind me. For a brief moment, I saw Shepard greet Liara… In a _very_ warm and welcoming way.

_Hm-hm._

I stared at the cabin's grey walls, grinning my signature grin - like a _guddamn'_ crook, as Zaeed Massani would have phrased it. I may have been wrong - I had been a few meters away from Shepard - but didn't I see a certain glint in her eyes, when she noticed our resident asari?

_Not my business._

I would know soon enough, I told myself. For now, I lifted the necklace with my tags on them…

PFC RAVEN, JESS

XXXX-XXXXX-XXX

A NEGATIVE

ATHEIST

… and put it around my neck where it belonged. As I said: For now.

"Alright then." I said aloud when I arrived on the Cargo deck to the sight of Wrex demonstrating shotgun reloading techniques to Tali - something he had been doing all day. "Back to work."

* * *

_Twenty-four hours later._

"Ya're green, Raven."

I turned around to Miller, who took a look at the two seals on my chest, nodded and then turned around to let me check his armor one last time.

"Looks good to me."

The process of putting on one's armor may not be the most difficult task ever, but if it wasn't done with extreme care, the multiple layers of plating and ceramic could turn from life-saving to deadly dead weight in just a matter of seconds.

The most crucial parts were the clamps and seals that kept each part firmly in place. Even one of them being askew or loose, and on hostile worlds or in space, you were a dead man within a few breaths.

At least this time though, we were heading to a place where suffocating or getting barbecued wasn't that much of a concern.

We only had to worry about tireless and merciless killing machines.

And rebelling, mind-controlled civilians, murderous plant-things, corporate motherfuckers doing sick experiments…

I suppressed the line of thought as good as I was able and put on my helmet instead, before grabbing the rig from the bench, strapping that one to my chest and then attaching rifle and pistol to their respective places – not before checking them once more and firmly locking both of them.

The shuffle of armor parts and muffled conversation did remind me, in a strange way, of the times when I was in a football team. When we were in the cabin, getting ready for a match? Sure, the cleats had been replaced by bullet-proof sabatons… and heavy-duty body armor and high-calibre rifles don't really compare to jerseys and shin pads either. The air was filled with anxiety and nervosity though, even if going to war was not exactly the same thing as stepping on the pitch.

It didn't quite feel dissimilar, all things considered. And the camaraderie, the knowledge that we had work as a team to leave the field victorious?

I grinned at that thought, even if it was filled with a hinge of bitterness. Like every single time I thought back to home, these days.

I had been gone for more than twelve weeks now – probably without any trace.

I responded to the corporal's thumbs-up with a nod, before turning to go to the elevator.

"Hey, Raven, one sec!"

I looked over my shoulder and saw Danners approaching me with a piece of foil in her hands – the kind of foil that was used to glue our Alliance &amp; member states national markings, rank insignias and specialization badges to the pauldrons.

"You forgot to attach your unit designation."

I tilted my head. "Something I missed?"

"Haven't you checked your mail?"

I shook my head. "I had a night shift, no time for anything."

She smiled a devious smile. "Looks like the egg-heads in high command finally figured out how they wanna call us – here." She turned the visible side to me.

White numbers, in the same font as the _NORMANDY'_s name on the hull.

905.

I looked up, puzzled. "There is no ninth fleet."

She sighed. "Right, I keep forgetting that you never had to take basics. Okay, the one hundreds through eight hundreds are the squads and platoons that are attached to the eight Alliance fleets."

"Yep."

"And the nine's for 'special purpose units'." She grinned again, and finger-quoted. "900's the one guarding Vancouver HQ, 919 are attached to our HQ on the Citadel. I guess having 'SPECTRE Shepard' as our CO makes us special enough. Well -" she raised her voice "maybe it's because we got some quite 'special' guys with us, too..."

"I heard ya, ya ol' hag." Miller didn't even bother with turning around. The privates Gordon and Mason were barely able to contain their mirth.

"I guess so." I answered, chuckling lightly at Danner's rolled eyes and clenched fist. "What's with that Zero Five, though?"

"No idea." She cast a devastating glance of death at the gambler's back. He defended himself by not noticing. "Maybe Hackett's a bit salty that we're not assigned to his fleet anymore, and that's Commands way of mocking him."

It appeared a bit petty to name us the fifth unit to just make fun of the admiral of the Fifth Fleet, but I accepted the explanation without any comment. Commissioned officers and members of the admiralty board are only humans, too.

"_Ten minutes until we arrive the Zhu's Hope outpost dock."_ Joker announced professionally. _"Colony and outpost are still dark, and their comm-buoy is dead in orbit, apparently. I see a few Geth Dropships around, Commander. They haven't spotted us, stealth system is online 'n active._"

The mood changed from 'joking' to 'tense' in just three sentences.

"_All hands, this is Shepard speaking. Battle stations! Be ready for everything! Squad, on me. Nine-Oh-Five, stand by near main lock. Stick to the plan. Shepard, out."_

"Okay, you heard the Commander!" Kaidan's voice echoed throughout the Armory. Everyone's heads turned to him. He looked quite impressive in his new Predator-armor. "Raven, on me! Chief Williams, you take your guys and move in after us. Raven will rejoin you in Zhu's Hope. Hold the outpost! Reinforce the defenses! Keep the colonists safe! Take out everyone who attacks your position! Got that?!"

A loud chorus of _Ooorah! _answered him.

"Alright, get ready!" He turned to me and made a gesture for me to follow him. I nodded, hastily grabbed my Mattock and made my way through the assembled marines. "See ya in a few, Raven!" Miller shouted after me, giving me a pat on my armored shoulder as I went by. I briefly nodded in his direction. "See ya!" I responded equally, then Kaidan and I hastened upstairs to meet the usual suspects at the inner air lock. Everyone was here, no one stayed behind this time around. It's worth noticing though that Liara appeared to be the most troubled one. I just had to flash a small sarcastic grin at her obvious display of nervosity.

_I'm the one who should be nervous here. You're the bloody Shadow Broker in training. Come on. _

The servicemen at their battle stations shot us nervous glances, everyone having been issued a pistol for the worst case of a boarding attempt scenario.

"We're docking. LZ looks clear for now - no, scratch that! Commander, there's a human coming towards the skybridge!"

Joker's observation was on point, even I could see his signature on my HUD now. The tension in my back became hard to endure, I nervously shifted from one leg to the other and clutched my rifle as if to strangle it.

"Ship's secure. We're in."

"Understood, Joker. Pressley, you have the ship."

"Aye-aye, Commander."

The airlock opened up, we even skipped the decontamination cycle and stepped right on the field.

"Ready up, guys!"

We changed into combat stances, and I took my position, forcefully pushing any doubt into the back of my head.

* * *

The first thing I noticed was how foul and dusty the thin air tasted. Looking around, everything was so obviously devastated and long dead. Grey dominated everything. There was no doubt that we had entered the long-abandoned Prothean city… once maybe a hub of life, now almost lifeless and rotting. We had dared to step on an ancient race's grave.

I briefly glanced out of the port's barred windows, and felt a brief wave of dizziness. We were far above the clouds, near the top of a tower that the briefing document declared to have a height of around five kilometers.

The squad cleared the skybridge in silence, then we only had to walk a few meters to reach the man who waved at us. He looked remarkably calm.

"We saw your ship. Fai Dan wants to speak with you immediately."

Shepard looked a bit confused at this 'greeting'. "Who's Fai Dan?"

"He's… our leader. He need's your help to… prepare for the Geth. They're making another push."

Much like the first time I heard him when playing Mass Effect 1, I marveled a bit at his stuttering pattern of speech. David Al Talaqani. I remembered his name, just as I had Corporal Jenkins'. That marvel got cut short, as I suddenly noticed some spark from behind him…

"Please. Up stairs, past the freighter -"

"DOWN!"

I yelled from the top of my lungs and grabbed the man's collar. Stumbling down and dragging him with me was one single motion.

I was almost too late. The rocket that was launched that very second missed him by barely an inch.  
It impacted right next to us. Shrapnel filled the air, and while the explosion was too loud, the shocked and distorted face only inches from my own showed me with painful clarity that the colonist didn't go out of this unharmed. He screamed, that was obvious, and it was a truly a hellish scream of pain. A few pieces of debris hit my armor and left a scar on my glasses.

I pressed him down and tried to get myself up again - I glanced on Al Talaqani's back and saw a nightmarish mixture of black and crimson. His suit was torn wide open, burned rocks and blackened metal was imbedded all over his back... And there was a lot of blood, oozing from where his skin had been abraded...

The sound of rifles and shotguns shook me out of my daze. I quickly glanced to everyone - they used the cover available to them and engaged the Geth into a murderous firefight.

"Civilian down! I'm reviving, cover me!"

I heard brief acknowledgements, but focused on the downed colonist. I brought up my omnitool and started the medical routines, ignoring my shaking arms as good as possible, but getting my head low when I heard a bullet whizzing just above me. He made painful noises and tried to move, but to no avail. Any more thrashing around and the damage to his spine might have increased a hundredfold… the doc had been very clear about what to do in case of shrapnel damage.

I gave him a large dose of sedatives and painkillers, he was unconscious almost immediately, then made sure that he could breathe. I then tore his shirt from his back, as carefully-yet-fast as I could given these circumstances. I had no disinfectants at hand, so I only could apply a thick layer of medigel on the entire back and hope for the best.

I had worked focusedly, I didn't even notice that the guns had gone silent in the meantime. The silence hit me like a truck, and I looked around in a fit of panic.

The squad had pushed ahead to clear the port of any remaining Geth; I could see their heads on the far side close to the exit, and Shepard dashing over to me.

"Raven, what's his status?"

"Stable, loads of metal and stone in his arse. Might have injured his spine." I looked into a controlled face, occasional strands of red hair glued to it with sweat. "The Doc needs to have a look at him, anything else I'm doing might hurt more than help-"

She brought her right to her ear. "This is Shepard, change of plans! Williams, on me! Alenko, fall back to Raven's position, he needs a hand here - Dr. Chakwas, ready up, a wounded colonist with a lot of shrapnel in his back is coming your way!"

I shut my mouth and instead focused on my omnitool's readings as the three confirmations came through. Shepard gave me a thumb's up.

"Quick thinking, good job. Stay focused, okay?"

"Aye-aye, Shepard!"

She gave my shoulder a friendly pat and nodded to Ashley, who had meanwhile left the _NORMANDY_ in full gear, and Kaidan, who had just arrived. Shepard gestured quickly.

"Ash, come with me – Alenko, you're in charge of our guys now! Get the wounded in, then get to Zhu's Hope ASAP. Got it?"

"Got it!"

"Let's go!" With that, the two women sprinted to catch up with the others.

We lost roughly ten minutes on the colonist. Kaidan sent me to Dr. Chakwas, who handed me a stretcher and even left the ship herself. She took another scan and decided that she would have to get a surgery going as soon as possible. Moving David Al Talaqani proved difficult – until Kaidan lit up in blue and carefully lifted the wounded on the stretcher. It still took a felt eternity for him and me to carry him through the _NORMANDY_ into the medbay - and on the way through the CIC, we passed by the marines and Pressley, who watched the entire scenery in uncomfortable silence.

Chakwas worked with a speed I could only dream of, stabilizing and properly sedating her patient in a matter of twenty seconds before waving me and Kaidan out.

I let out a relieved sigh, feeling just a bit of satisfaction for remembering the ambush in time. I had no time to celebrate the live saved, though. Back in the CiC, the Lieutenant gestured at us and we left the ship again to move up to Zhu's hope as ordered.

We were a total of seven people - Miller, Danners, Katsavidis, Gordon, Alenko, another Corporal I hadn't really talked with so far and myself. Two men stayed behind at the ship - Corporal Mason and a PFC named Dickson, whom I hadn't conversed with for more than two words.  
The Corporal's name was Garraway, and from what I had heard so far she was our squad's combat engineer. Her hacking talents could come in quite handy against the Geth, but her real specialty was the construction of field defenses.

I guessed her age to be around thirty-five, but with the average human lifespan being extended to 150 years it may have very well been around fifty, maybe even sixty. I could tell already that she was a very focused individual, but also a bit… lackluster? She was very difficult to read, one way or another. A fact that only got supported by her black and short hair, brown and emotionless eyes and a very prominent scar on her right cheek.

She and I weren't going to be friends at any time soon, but as long as she would do her job, I would do mine - and that was, giving her cover fire and first aid as necessary.

"_Listen up, squad._", Kaidan spoke to us via radio - we were advancing towards the colonist outpost, had our guns at the ready and kept a _very_ watchful eye on everything around us. _"The Commander and her guys are investigating where the Geth came from - the ExoGeni buildings. It's up to us to hold the outpost until the Geth are eliminated and Alliance reinforcements come. Raven, keep 733 Sigma open. We two stay in contact with Shepard."_

"Understood." I adjusted my radio frequencies via omnitool and almost stumbled over a Geth 'corpse' in the process.

The other guys had done a pretty good job in clearing the route - wrecked synthetics were all over the place. Unfortunately, blood stains in various colours were no rarity either – including at least two dead bodies in civilian clothing. We moved in silence, quickly past the stairwell, then approached their defensive barricades - when suddenly, a bullet whizzed past us.

* * *

Two minutes later, a _very_ embarassed colonist pointed us to Fai Dan and, when he thought we weren't looking, picked up his rifle from the ground – just before getting told to 'get his shit together' by his fellow guard, and in no uncertain terms.

Miller snorted softly, but didn't comment. I couldn't wrap my mind around just how quick he was in disarming that guy in hand-to-hand, thus preventing further friendly fire incidents.

Danners had no such decency. "Do we look like freaking flashlights?", she grumbled."Fucks sake, Sir, we've got a helluva job to do if everyone's like him."

"I know, right?" Kaidan answered, sounding tired already. "Let's stay calm for now, Private. Come, I can see the ship he's sent us to. Shepard and that outpost leader should be around."

The path to them was short, but insightful regardless... had the air tasted foul before, now it reeked of millennia-old dust and recent death. I found it hard to breathe, eventually I pulled my breather mask out and placed it firmly on my face.

There was something else in the air as well... I couldn't be certain, of course, but had a hunch. And there was no way I would breathe more of these bloody spores than I had to.

Bullet holes were everywhere, additional stains of blood, debris from recent combat. And, close to the crashed freighter… roughy twenty bodies, more or less well covered by blood-stained blankets.

It was depressing, really.

What was just as unsettling was the behavior of the colonists around. I don't claim to be a psychologist, but aside from the fact that knew that these guys were under the control of a murderous plant-life-form-whateverthehell, I could just see them behaving somewhat apathetic. And nobody would have been able to convince me that that was just the 'normal' type of apathy a person in a warzone, who had lost friends or loved ones would display.

I firmly reminded myself to never and under no circumstances turn my back on these guys. If the in-game story arc would be followed, they wouldn't turn rogue until later down the line - but in all honesty, my trust in 'canon determination' had waned quite significantly.

My squadmates didn't look too happy either. It wasn't within my powers to gauge why, but well, there were plenty of potential reasons around. We kept our guard up until we reached the Commander's current location - at Fai Dan's position. And just in time, before I even had the chance to take a proper look, another Geth attack came in.

Between us Marines, Shepard's chosen few and the few colonists that actually knew what they were doing, that small push of roughly fifteen Geth of all kinds failed quite miserably, though. I didn't even had to use any of my 'skills' - seeing Millers, Danners and especially that engineer Garroway dispatching the synthetics such impressively only served to shrink my self-esteem even further. In all fairness, though, did score my two kills as well.

As the - metaphorical - gunsmoke settled, I rose from the ground, knocked some dust of my Mattock and joined the rest of our guys, who stood in front of Shepard and SPECTRE squad. I couldn't help but notice the awkward feeling that overcame me - I felt like I was standing on the wrong side. Liara gave me smile and a nod, and Garrus greeted me with a raised talon. That made me feel slightly better. I stowed the rifle on my back, stood as upright as I could manage and folded my arms behind my back.

"There you are." Shepard said, gave us a respectful nod and turned to Fai Den. The man looked almost exactly like in-game, but I could see a lot more signs of distress and tiredness. The same went for the hispanic-looking woman at his side. I didn't remember her name, but I knew that we would have to fight with her later down the line. The mercenary in employ of ExoGeni.

"Listen up, marines!" Shepard put as much authority in her voice as as she could - I suspected an attempt at raising the colonists' morale. "My squad and I are going to find out what the Geth are after. Alliance reinforcements are en route, ETA twenty-four hours. Reinforce the defenses! Help the colonists defending their home! Hold this outpost! Show these bastards what it means to attack our colonies! _Mess with the best -!_"

"_Die like the rest! Ooorah!"_

That was our response, and I felt a rush of adrenaline. She always knew how to pick her words. Satisfied, she readied up her shotgun, spoke a few words and gestured the rest our her team. Liara followed her first, she looked impressed by the speech. Shepard stood next to me and Kaidan, and nodded.

"We'll be back soon. Show 'em hell, Alenko, Raven."

"We'll do just that, Ma'am." Kaidan said, saluting calmly. I mimicked him and nodded with a grim smile playing on my lips.

* * *

Exactly sixty-five minutes later, I was kneeling before a pile of concrete ruins and glued them together with hefty amounts of omnigel, recycled from plenty of the scrap metal and debris that we could scavenge from the area.

"Okay, I think we're done here." I told the woman standing next to me, who had just finished her part of the improvised barricade. The mask contorted everything I said, but that couldn't be the reason for her to act that uncomfortably around me. "If you need me, I'll be at the sniper's nest."

She nodded, mumbled a 'thank you' and then picked up her rifle to resume her guard, almost unmoving. I watched for a second without her noticing, then shook my head and quickly walked back to the heart of the colony.

The 'stoic' attitude of the colonists was really starting to grind on me. An hour had passed without any accident, but my (justified) paranoia was only getting worse over time. At one point, every one of these guys would go all mind-control zombie apocalypse on us – and I just hoped that when it happened, I had some cover behind me instead of some bullets in my arse.

At the very least, the outpost could now be considered truly fortified - our team had done quite a good job repairing the heavily-damaged covers, barricading a few small holes in the structures to keep Geth Drones from flying in and even constructing a proper sniper's nest with a double-layered cover around it on top of the downed starship.

Our engineer in particular left me quite mind-blown when she, with nothing but her omnitool and some tech-scrap from the _BOREALIS_ managed to set up a few improvised defensive turrets - in essence, glueing four spare Avenger rifles together, setting them up on rotating platforms and even installing a combat-VI. It looked quite…. well, raw, but it would do it's job. I just hoped that the target algorithms would ignore the colonists later.

We even deployed barbed wire at certain chokepoints.

I will say, I was amazed by the outpost's mass fabricator. A highly advanced 3D-printer, creating many meters of that wire, most of the components we needed and a batch of fresh and modified ammoblocks from nothing but omnigel. Sure, my omnitool had done the same thing as well, but it had been the first time for me to really see what that technology was capable of on a larger scale. With a brief shudder, I considered whether or not humanity's entire industry was dominated by these machines these days.

I still was in doubt regarding the effectiveness of razor wire against synthetics, though. They had no flesh to peel off, and even when Garroway told me matter-of-fact that they would serve to slow the flashlights down, I didn't believe them. She then proceeded to tell me how it could rip exposed coolant pipes from their torsos, make them trip and get off-balance, and after a while I just had to believe it. It still struck me as odd.

But well, why shouldn't the simple things turn out to be more effective than high-tech sometimes? I was the one effectively throwing old bottles filled with gasoline around, after all.

The one thing we failed to do was to restore communications with Alliance HQ - then again, not even the _NORMANDY'_s state-of-the-art systems were able to punch through the interference fields set up by the Geth. We were lucky that they mostly focused on locking down the entire system, not focusing on our position, so our own tight-beam short-range comms came through almost undisturbed. The loud static in the background was annoying, but, oh well.

All in all, however, we had turned Zhu's Hope from a petty outpost into a real bastion.

Whatever wanted to enter Zhu's Hope from either angle would be caught in quite a hefty cross-fire within few seconds. Even Geth Dropships would have a hard time getting in here - or setting up their troops. We were quite content that we could hold the line for the expected day. That we would have other problems to worry about real soon, well…_ I_ didn't say anything.

I was thinking about how to further improve our position when suddenly, I heard Kaidan in my ear.

"_905, this is your CO. Good work so far. Danners, Millers and I are back from our trip to the Varren, and we got those power cells as well. The colonists will now man the defenses and our scanners don't pick up anything. Ten minutes break, but stay alert. Alenko, out."_

With Shepard and her squad pushing ahead, the task of restoring water, hunting varren, retrieving the power cells and taking out that small Geth pocket had fallen to us marines - once the first lines of defense had been set up, of course.

Kaidan was leading the three-man squad on all of the assignments but we switched out teammates after each of these trips. I was on the team that shut down the Geth transmitter, aside from enemy fire a relatively harmless trip. It gave me the opportunity to see Gordon in action, though - that man was a dare-devil that definitely didn't have to hide behind any of us, including Shepard when it came to put some synthetics out of order.

I was glad about our announced break and strolled over to meet Miller, who had beckoned me over with a tired gesture. I joined him, sitting on a crashed concrete pillar next to the ship. An excellent opportunity to pull out the package I had smuggled off the ship. I removed my breather mask, tried to ignore the smell around me, sat down and grinned.

"So, how are those dangerous alpha-varren working out for you?"

He gave a long, exasperated sigh, to which I chuckled as I took out a cigarette and placed it in my mouth. My squadmate took the helmet off, placed it at his feet and stretched his hand out.

I narrowed my eyes at his unspoken request, but gave him a second cig. He bent towards me, and I lit up for both of us. _Note to self: Rebuild your tobacco reserve._

He took a drag, leaned back and exhaled. "Ah, they're not too bad if ya know whatcha doin'. The Eltee kept 'em a bay with mind magic, we finished 'em off. The prob were the Geth on our way. The fuckin' flashlights just dunno when to quit." He chuckled a bit, and I grinned some more. His accent was just brilliant - it sounded like a weird mixture of texan and british.

I noticed something from the corner of my eye. A colonist walked by us, carrying one of the crates with grenades in them. Miller noticed him as well. He spoke in a low voice.

"Correct me, if I'm wrong, Raven, but… there's somethin' off with these fellas, right?"

"Yeah." I took another drag, thinking quickly about how much I could give away. "Definitely. I dunno, mate, but they're just... too calm for all this."

"Heh, I got the same feeling." He exhaled, the looked at me. "The way they're always sendin' us to that Dan guy? I'm bloody tired of it already. 'Talk to Fai Dan, he's our leader.' Every. Single. One of 'em is saying the exact same thing. That can't be right." He gestured at me with his chin.

I kept my gaze on the colonist. "Well, Katsavidis said that could be normal for a civilian in this stress…"

"Hah!" The marine bellowed, a sound that startled me. "Kats is good, mate, but he never was in the kinda shit I've been in." He leaned back, breathing out. "I've been with the clean-up crew on Elysium. Later on Torfan. Trust me, a man who's in an active fire zone ain't like that. He's either fighting, doin' something, or he's shocked, tryina run away, or hides in some corner. Fight or flight, that ringin' some bells with ya? He ain't going on with his fucking life as if nothing happens, and then lookin' tired about it."

The corporal threw the stump to the ground, staring at it as the glim died down.

"We've seen that one guy in the tunnels." he continued, voice low. "Newstead, I think he's called. That guy's nuts if ya ask me, talking about his master's whip like it's a fuckin fetish - heh, literally."

Lucky for me, I was able to hide the 'turn away and grimace in disgust' in a 'turn away to not blow the cig smoke in his face' move.

Miller he continued, voice remaining serious. "That Dan fella said Newstead was ill, that nobody could help him. But I wonder…"

He never finished that sentence. Sirens went loud, and we were on our feet within a second, sealing our breather masks in another one.

* * *

_"Red Alert! Geth forces are in range!_"

I looked on my glasses' HUD, and cursed - jammed. Which meant…

"_Raven, Miller, where the hell are you?_"

Miller picked up the radio faster than I. "We're on the other end of the outpost, Sir. We're on our way -"

A red beam was suddenly in his face, and with a combat roll he brought a piece of concrete between himself and the one targeting him. I was only a second slower, taking a potshot at the Geth Hopper that, unfortunately, honored his name and hopped away causing my bullet to add another hole to the already damaged Prothean structures.

I took cover to Millers right, having spotted a whole bloody pack of these 'Heretics' coming in on the skyscraper's side, roughly hundred meters from us. The colonist we had watched earlier was out of luck - he grabbed after his sidearm, but was felled by a single "Hopper beam".

"Raven here!" I shouted into my com, feeling oddly calm about the unexpected arrival of the Geth lockdown force. "A pack of at least six Stalkers is breaching from North-north east! Miller and I hold 'em off, you guys worry about the main entrance!"

"_Copy that! Make 'em count, Raven!"_

I looked to the corporal at my side. He gave me a court nod before peeking and taking out one of the Geth platforms that had stayed in place for too long. The rest of them approached our position in unsettling speed.

"I'm flashing them!"

I lobbed my flashbang just on the other side of the barricade - the explosion ringing in my own eardrums - and noticed in satisfaction that the 'nades were quite effective against the Geth's sensors. I fired a few rounds into the pack in quick succession - three platforms were out of commission. Luckily, while fast, the Hopper-class Geth couldn't take a single Mattock round without going down, and one of Garraway's 'sentry turrets' gave us some fire support from afar.

Miller's Alliance-issued Avenger was less powerful, but where I had to take aim he simply sprayed and prayed in full-auto, he wisely had installed an wolfram ammoblock before leaving the _NORMANDY_, and his rounds pierced the metal Geth bodies with almost frightening efficiency. When the last platform literally exploded, I felt tempted to take a deep breath - but the second wave hit us only mere moments later.

That one was a hard fight. Fifteen of these fuckers against the two of us, bút somehow we made it work. I burned four more of my six flashbangs, and each of these four bought us a few seconds where we had a chance of fighting back without getting pinned down. Strangely enough, the Geth didn't bring in any other units - had they dropped only two or three of their higher-end platforms as well, us two riflemen would've been sent to hell without a problem. I didn't complain, and I'm sure that my squadmate didn't mind either.

Exactly nine minutes, twenty-five seconds (my omnitool had kept track) after the… 'hostilities' started, we were done, my HUD was clear once more and all of the other marines reported in. By the sound of it, they had stopped quite the push at the front gate - anyone but Kaidan I would've believed to exaggerate when he talked about nine Geth Juggernauts and overall fifty Geth infantry units. It was bordering on a miracle that we had only lost three colonists during that, and none of our detail. Still, three dead colonists felt like three too many for me. But there was exactly shit I could do about it.

I sighed and went on to apply some more medigel on a colonist who had taken a graze wound to his arm. He hissed, but then chuckled.

"I'm glad you guys are finally here. They would've killed us today, if it weren't for you. Thank you."

Miller, who watched us with a glass of water in his hand, grimaced. I had my own reasons to be careful of such statements.

"No problem. 'S all part of the job", I said, finishing my work and standing up, giving the man a pat on the shoulder. "Stay low for now, 'kay?"

The civilian nodded, thanked me and joined a group of some other colonists that were quietly chatting among themselves. I turned to Miller, he gestured me over and I went to walk with him.

Our new objective was to investigate the hole the hoppers had slipped through and make sure that it wouldn't happen again. We never got that chance, though.

An explosion rocked the plateau. Somewhere above us, yet far away. I followed Miller's gaze and got a brief glance on a Geth dropship falling from a skyscraper - if my memory served me right, the one which you had to take down in ME1.

And yet again, I got distracted.

By a hundred screams of tortured souls.

My blood froze as I spotted the colonists we were with earlier.

The shivered, screamed in anger, fear, some even grabbed their heads.

The man I had treated only thirty seconds ago gazed at me, mouth agape. Even from twenty meters distance, I could see the blood in his eyes.

His hand shivered violently, as if it resisted its master's will, resisted, but it still went down to his hip.

To his pistol…

* * *

**A/N:** _Hello, guys! Another chapter taking too long, but I hope that this one is worth the wait._

_As a note, this one is not named 'Feros Part 1', because the second part of the deployment has a second objective to it. In-game, it's 'Feros: Geth Attack' and then 'Feros: The Thorian'. I intend to follow that rule a bit more from now on. _

_Also, together with the one and only **5 Coloured Walker**, my trusted Beta, marked by weather, wind and my stupidity (ya don't wanna know what he had to endure to get this one ready for release) I'm currently working on revamping and polishing the earlier chapters of ME Raven - and quite a bit. Ever since I started writing, my English has improved significantly and I want the story to reflect that. So yeah, will also iron out some of the small plotholes I've hammered into this over time. _

_When the next chapter is coming out, that rewrite will be done! (Don't worry, I'll make sure to remind y'all in the next chapter's author notes.)_

_Well, that would actually everything I wanted to mention... right? Well, if I've forgotten something, I'll get another chance in a few weeks._

_Anyway, thanks for stepping by! Please consider to Follow (to be notified when the next chapter comes out), Favorite (frankly, to make me feel better) and Review (As the ones who've reviewed so far know, I try to answer every single review this story gets. Thank you all!)_

_See you guys around!_


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